Year one, Month four, Day four
I released a controlled breath through my mouth, eyes closed as I meditated. Trying to get a feel of the 'Chakra' around me, I attempted to stretch my senses across the front yard of the Academy as I awaited my parents to pick me up. With another controlled breath, my world went from a slightly noisy environment to being hazy and muted, only to go back to being noisy in seconds when I gasped in surprise.
Blinking, I lifted my hands to my face to examine them. Curling my fingers into a light fist, my mind swiftly started to go over any information I had on Chakra and Chakra control while simultaneously trying to figure out how I could do it faster. 'Was that what sensory-nin feel? I always thought it would be bright and painful not... not like the world suddenly shifted.' Wiggling my fingers in thought, I narrowed my eyes 'I guess practice is paying off, I'll have to work on that more to where I can just call it to me and not wait hours. Hmm... I wonder... could I? It makes sense to use it, maybe I can ask Grandpa? No, no, no that's a terrible idea. I'll just look around first and leave asking gramps later, if and only if it comes down to it though.' Humming a soft tone to myself I allowed my hands to fall to my side, done with practicing sensing Chakra for now, content with just waiting for Mother and Father.
But as hours and hours passed by with no sign of my guardians, my gut started to twist with anger; its almost already nineteen hundred hours and school ended hours ago. I may not love them like I did with my original parents, no one could ever replace them, but the thought that maybe the Canon Sakura Haruno had these people as parents made my blood boil. But I paused and my thoughts took the chance and begin to topple like dominoes.
It mocked me by showing it was the fact that maybe they didn't care because I wasn't her, I wasn't their child, was way they were doing this. As quickly as It came I wanted to banished all thoughts about them doing this just to me because of that, but it was hard. I already knew that I wasn't her, that I was never going to be her; but it still hurt.
(I knew, I knew and I didn't need these people to tell me that I was and always will be wrong. IDIDN'TNEEDTHISIDIDN'TWANTTHISJUSTLEAVEMEALONE.)
Clenching my fist I huffed and got up, dusting off my bum while doing so, and decided to make my way to the library. At least there I could numb by brain and read my troubles away. As I walked out the of the Academy courtyard my thoughts toppled some more and made me I wondered of the possibility that what if I was born without my previous memories? Would I still acted same? Or would I never have actually died and the Original Sakura there fore had never left? Would have her parents loved me like I was there daughter? The thoughts burned my chest with vengeance, making me want to shut down. But I puffed my chest out and determinedly pushed it back into the box it broke out of after my resolve to live outweighed my guilt; which ironically making me feel guiltier but at the same time I didn't care. I didn't need my guardians love to help me, I didn't need them. I sighed and looked at the sky above, letting my mind autopilot my feet to the library, as I tried to clam my thoughts.
Before I knew I reached the library, breathing in letting a small slip of a smile on my face and glided through the doors with a brief hello to the new librarian; that really looked like a shinobi but I was in a rush to reach the academy section that I really didn't may any mind to it, and started to brows the books opened to hopeful genins like me.
Finding nothing but children's books I huffed and moved deeper into the aisle hoping that maybe the older books from the wars, when the academy was doing war curriculum, would still be nestled within. Running my hands along the spines of the books, my fingers stopped over a few seemingly good books.
Basic Genjutsu: How To dispel And Cast, 5 Things Important About Ninjutsu, How To Train Your Body And Develop Stamina, The Basics Of Trap-setting, How To handle Your Shinobi Weapons And Tools, Basic Chakra Use: What To Do And Not To Do, were just a few of the books that I read the cover of and found slightly interesting; but no books about Chakra sensing itself. Sighing I decided to momentarily put the matter on the side burner and focus on what I could learn now.
Running my hand through my hand roughly, I thought over what books I didn't need. My Grandfather already lectured me about what I shouldn't do with my chakra so Basic Chakra Use: What To Do And Not To Do was pointless to read. And I personally find the more 'complex' ninjutsu that I'd seen from the show to be too flashy for my taste so 5 Things Important About Ninjutsu was also useless, besides a shinobi was supposed to be the embodiment of stealth so flashy nin-jutsu was just asking to be killed off. And I wasn't even aloud to have real weapons on my personnel yet so I'll save How To handle Your Shinobi Weapons And Tools for when I'm getting ready to graduate. Sighing dejectedly if not a little disgruntled, I slid out Basic Genjutsu: How To dispel And Cast, How To Train Your Body And Develop Stamina, and The Basics Of Trap-setting, figuring that if I can't find what I wanted in the first place I'll settle for the second best; ignoring the little book worm inside me that was squealing in glee for books that I never had access to in my old world that wasn't bogus.
Clutching the book to my chest I headed to my usual seat in front of the library, practically radiating happiness as I sat and picked up Basic Genjutsu: How To dispel And Cast and started to read. My eyes were glued to the pages and my mind began to store any information that seemed even remotely useful.
One of the most important rule of doing genjutsu is always doing it with a fellow shinobi near by, thus allowing you to not accidentally kill yourself if and when the genjutsu is cast. Overall genjutsu is one of the main jutsu categories which uses chakra and while the effects of genjutsu may not real, being only illusions experienced by those who fall victim to it, it still can be dangerous if used correctly. Although despite the usefulness of genjutsu most shinobis prefer tangible effects of ninjutsu or taijutsu.
There are however several options to combat against genjutsu, if one does not want to actually want to use genjutsu: disrupting your chakra flow, pain not caused by the genjutsu, and strong smells such as chili power.
Most genjutsu is performed visually, requiring the target make eye contact with the caster like the Sharingan's users but genjutsu can also be created when a shinobi controls the chakra flow of a target's cerebral nervous system, thereby affecting their five senses. However this difficulty of level for performing the genjutsu in the first place presents a barrier to its use: requiring precise chakra control in order to manipulate the target's senses along with in advanced intelligence to make the illusion convincing to the victim.. This is frequently used to create false images and can trick the body into believing its has experienced physical pain; it can also be used to manipulate others, similar to brainwashing, by feeding the victim illusive suggestions. The most dangerous genjutsu's are the audible ones simply because the user can trap victims from long distances. Genjutsu is cast by introducing your chakra into the victims brain to alter the victims perception and put them in Illusion, simply by manipulating your chakra to enter your victim's body and stimulate certain parts of brain to produce the genjutsu; of course not everyone can do this.
Those under the influence of genjutsu will either appear to be unconscious or continue to move around under the pretense of the chosen genjutsu; the latter is very effective in battle as a genjutsu user can make themselves appear to be somewhere else and attack the victim from behind or change the environment to make the victim see a flat plain where there is a steep cliff.
Humming to myself I stared at the, almost gone, picture shown in the book and started to memorize it for future reference.
It seems simple enough in theory but I knew casting it was gonna be tough for sure. But I couldn't help but grin and bite my lip in excitement, this is gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, I can live longer then thirteen. It opened so many doors for me. I could be a genjutsu master and master a few more shinobi arts that would go with it. Sighing in contentment as I absentmindedly ruffled through my pants pocket for something to use as I book marker, while my mind itself ran over the possibility's that genjutsu's opened up for me, I glanced out the library window and did a double take; snapping me out of my daze.
I dumbly stared at the darken streets as my mind grimaced at what my 'parents' would throw at me when I got home. Frowning with displeasure, I gently closing the book and placed it a top the others. Quickly using my mental clock to check the time, I sighed in relief. Its twenty-one hundred hours, so just...one hour had passed. My frown deepened into something childishness at my revelation.
Shaking my head softly to get rid of those thoughts, I picked up my books and headed towards the check out desk; wanting to continue to read, but knowing better then to stay any longer. As I passed by the front desk and headed towards the front door, absentmindedly waving to the new librarian, I heard a fake cough that made me stop in my tracks. Confused, I turned towards were the fake cough came from and saw the amused face of the librarian. Frowning my eyebrows I watched as he trailed his eyes to the pile of books in my hand before looking back up to me, tilting my head I followed the mans previous action and saw the books that I had grabbed. I stared at them for a few minutes before dragging my eyes back up, shifting in my spot I realized that I didn't check out the books.
Embarrassed, I blushed and blurted out, "Oops! Sakura's sorry Mr. New Librarian!"
I watched as he raised an eyebrow at my speech pattern, making want blush harder, and shrugged, "Whatever kid, lets just get your books checked out."
Nodding I rushed over there and placed my books on the counter before stuffing my hands into my pants pocket to find my library card, grabbing it I looked back up to see his surprised face at my books. I softly huff, knowing it was the way that I presented my self that made it a shock that I wanted to check out shinobi books and not some children's book, before looking at him expectantly with my card in my hand.
Hearing him mutter a soft, "Right" He took my card and entered it in the 'checkout book' and started to grab my books before swiping and placing them back on the counter; taking only a few seconds.
As he placed the last book on the rest, along with my card, I swiftly snatched them to my chest and started to run towards the door. Shouting a fast, "I'M SORRY THANK YOU MR. SHINOBI!" Behind me. Not wanted to deal with any chance of him asking questions.
Year two, Month four, Day ten
I let out a silent huff of laughter as I eyed sunshine's newest work of art; my book gently held in my hand, my finger marking my place. Looking back to the duo running around outside when I heard another angry shout from the teacher, I lightly shook my head with a tiny smile.
Amusement shown in my eyes as I watched Iruka-Sensei chase sunshine child 2.0 outside; my other hand holding up my head as my eyes continually followed them around. It had seems that the sunshine child 2.0 made a huge scene nowadays with his pranks and back talking, he made sure everyone noticed him no matter how much it made them dislike him more. Frowning at the thought I sighed and I decided to sneaking a quick peek at original sunshine child, curious about what she thought of this; but then again I always was slightly curious on how canon Hinata took her crush being a prankster. Connecting my eyes with hers, my lips twitched up as Hinata squeaked in surprise and embarrassment before swiftly looking down; poking her fingers. God, she was so cute blushing.
Chuckling I gently shook my head amused and looked back towards the due, figuring sunflower would prefer not to be looked at while she watched sunshine. Hmm sunny places with sunshine... little shining suns.
Mindlessly my eyes trailed the duo as my thoughts drifted to Hinata's and Naruto's future relationship, my finger tapping my lip, a thoughtful frowned came upon my face.
I know my Pa mention that Naruto and Hinata had two kids in the newer Naruto, burrito I think, that he ranted and raved about never watching all because he 'shipped' Hinata with someone else; the romantic sap. Something I never really cared about before, but stilled listened to because I loved my Pa, simply believing that it was a waste of time to worry about anime characters and their relationships.
My lips twitched up fondly at the thought of anime shows, my pa loved them. He would drag me and ma, no matter what time it was, into a talk about the newest anime he watched or he would rant about his 'ship'... But something I remembered the most, though not a lot which sent a pang of agony to my heart, was that Pa would angrily talk about NaruHina a lot; something with his number one ship colliding with trash or something. He would go on and on how his sweet roll of sweetness should've had someone better to marry, that she overall deserved better. He said that since Naruto never care about her in the beginning, like she did, she should have someone that did. I softly chuckled at the realistic image it re-created for me, my Pa wildly waving his hands around as me and mama watched bemusedly from the couch.
Hearing an angry shout my thoughts shattered and fell downwards around me, snapping my head towards the noise I could feel my eyes sting; my throat tight and eyes unseeing. Holding back a sob when I realized that I wasn't back home I dug my nails into my skin and bit my lips as I tried to distract my dark swirling thoughts into something lighter, so I could shove it into the box once more; all while my heart cried out to forget everything.
(Whywhywhywhy..I want them back GIVE ME BACK WHAT WAS MINE!)
Digging my finger nail in further I suddenly felt a soft poke on my shoulder, dragging me out of my daze. Blinking I removed my head from the window and stared at Hinata, whom probably poked me. Staring at her over my shoulder, I waited for her to say something and just watched her when she didn't. After a few minutes passed by, I started to turn my head back to the window believing that I imagined it because I just wanted an out from my mind when I heard her whisper, "I'm here, i-if you need me...Kura-chan."
Surprised, I turned back around and gave her a shaky smile only to blink and look to my hand when I felt a gently but firm squeeze to it. Looking back up I could feel my thoughts dribbled down to a trickle as I stared into her determined gaze and suddenly I could the heavy anchor that I had felt upon my heart drifting away like it was never there to began with.
Giving her weary but genuine smile, I squeezed her hand back and fully turned to Hinata and ruffled her plum colored hair lovingly and laughed when I heard her release a surprise squeak and snapped her hand to the ground. 'Thank you..for making me feel better.' I thought, letting my hand fall out of hers and to my side as my soft laughter died out, 'Thank you so much little Starfire' Giving Hinata a fond look I closed my eyes and nodded my head reassuringly; "Mmk... My Starfire."
I turned back around to the window and breathed out deeply and inhaled slowly, allowing my now lightened dark filled thoughts to, hopefully, be put in the box in the back of my mind. Doing one more controlled exhale I moved my head back over my shoulder and gave my sunflower an another thankful smile before I turning my head around and faced the front of the classroom, my thoughts now calm and my heart lighter then ever, I pick my book up and began to read once more.
And through out the rest of the day my fond smile never left my face not even when my mother started to criticize me for being too boyish.