Chapter 25

Bellamy was freaked out of his mind. Clarke sounded like she was breaking and she was miles away from him. As he speed out of town, Octavia was in the passenger seat all he could think about were the possibilities.

What had happened, something at happened to their baby. Which meant something had to have happened to Clarke. Did she lose the baby? She was too far along for a simple miscarriage. She would- oh god he didn't even want to think about her having to deliver their already gone baby.

After she'd broken down over the phone and told him she was sorry, he couldn't get anything else out of her.

While he was mad about her unexplained disappearance, he was a hell of a lot more worried and concerned for the health of Clarke and their baby.

"Bell no matter what happens, it'll be okay." Octavia tried to erasure, though she wasn't convincing.

Bellamy shook his head. "We don't know what happened O. I shouldn't have let her go on this dumb trip."

"I know blaming yourself is a Bellamy Blake pastime. But you can't blame yourself. You don't know what happened yet, just wait till we get all the facts."

"I have the facts. Clarke was having trouble before she left on this trip, she went missing for hours. Then when she turned up at the hospital, and there is something wrong with the baby."

"Okay but-"

"If she'd been home, with me. I could have done something to help."

Octavia shook her head. "Clarke's strong."

.

After hanging up with Bellamy, Clarke felt like she wanted to disappear. He'd sounded so furious when he'd picked up the phone. Clarke knew anger was Blake's main emotion when feeling anything. Fear, sadness, pain, worry. It all presented as anger in Bellamy. Any negative heightened emotion.

Clarke tried to stay as calm as she could. It was still too early for this baby to come out, Clarke wanted to keep baby Nate inside her as long as she could. The calmer she was, the better chance she had at making that happen.

The doctors weren't so excited about her plan. They wanted the baby out for many reasons. All health risks at the moment were Clarke's. Something could tear and she could bleed out, She could go into cardiac arrest because of all the stress on her heart. She risked hemorrhaging and other scary words, if she hadn't been a doctor herself would have freaked her out.

Clarke knew all the facts. If she could keep this baby inside her for a couple more weeks, Nate would be viable enough to live. Premature sure, but he'd live.

But she also knew, the longer the baby was inside her. The greater the risk was that she might not get to live to see Nate.

Once Bellamy got here, the doctors started throwing around scary words and talking about DNRs. Clarke knew he would push for her to get a c section and get the baby out.

It wasn't like Nate didn't have a chance if he were born now. But his survival was less likely. If she allowed them to take the baby out now, he would be in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks in the ICU, until he was strong enough to come home with them.

Clarke didn't want that.

.

When Bellamy pulled into the hospital parking lot, he felt this weird calmness come over him. He'd spent the ride up panicking about Clarke and the baby. But now he was calm, he figured he had to be. Once he got inside and saw her, saw Clarke, Bellamy wanted to be strong for her. No matter what he was going to take care of her and it would be alright.

"Come on big brother." Octavia opened her door and stepped out into the cold of the night.

Bellamy nodded, picking up his pace as they walked toward the hospital.

.

Clarke had fallen asleep during her planning. She was trying to figure out how to explain everything to Bellamy, so he could see why she couldn't let the doctors perform a c section today.

But she knew him, and every conversation she ran threw in her head did not go her way.

Clarke opened her eyes, hearing her phone vibrate on the bedside table.

There were a couple of texts from Jasper and Monty. But the newest was from Octavia.

we're here. She'd texted.

Taking a deep breath to keep her heart rate calm, Clarke brushed the hair from her face and sat up a little.

Seconds later Bellamy and Octavia were in her room.

"Hi." Clarke's voice was rough from sleep.

She heard the relieved gust of wind Bellamy let out upon seeing her.

Clarke assumed she look at least a little decent if she'd gotten that reaction from him.

He would see monitors and an IV in her hand. He'd see a couple of cords coming out of her blankets, nothing too crazy. Giving him a little relief.

"Clarke, what the hell?" He ask, but his tone was soft.

Bellamy walked over to the side of her bed, giving her a hug and kiss on the cheek. Pulling one of the plastic chairs away from the wall, he sat next to her beside.

"I'm okay-" She smiled at him, cupping his cheek. "and Nate's."

Bellamy's hand covered hers over his cheek. He shook his head, kissing her wrist. Clarke was pretty sure he was doing that to hide the tears that had pooled in his eyes.

"Then why are you here?" Octavia asked, "What happened?"

Before Clarke had a chance to answer. Doctor Kim and his band of residence came into the room. Clarke tensed slightly. She knew when Doctor Kim couldn't get anywhere with her, he'd been waiting for Bellamy to arrive. Hoping the father of the baby would have some sway in Clarke's decision.

So Clarke looked at him blankly, glaring at him on the inside.

"Mr. Blake?"

"Uh ya, Yes," Bellamy said, standing and shaking the doctor's hand.

"Hi, I'm doctor Kim. I've been monitoring Clarke's condition."

Clarke wanted to punch the man, he was acting he'd told her she had cancer. All she wanted to do was protect her baby.

"So," Bellamy said. "What's going on?"

Dr. Kim looked at Clarke. "You haven't talked with him yet."

Clarke licked her cheek, "He just got here." Her tone icey.

Bellamy and Octavia looked between the two of them, feeling the tension in the room.

"What's wrong?" Bellamy asked, becoming nervous himself. He turned on Clarke. "You said you were okay."

"I am." She reassured him.

The doctor tilted his head at her. Clarke knew it was a frustration to have a doctor as a patient. But she wasn't going to be bullied into something when she knew there was another way.

"Mr. Blake, why don't you take a seat."

Bellamy gave another suspicious look, between Clarke and the doctor before crossing his arms. He didn't need to sit, he'd sat through the hours of driving to get here.

The doctor nodded, seeming to know that Bellamy was fine to stand.

"Clarke's condition is volatile."

The blonde watched as Bellamy's face scrunched up in worry and confusion. She continued to watch his face, as Doctor Kim continued to explain.

"Right now, both mom and baby are stable. We are monitoring them both closely. However, we would like to keep them both as safe as possible." Clarke snorted under her breath, everyone's eyes fell to her. "In order to do that, we need to perform a c section, we would like to do that tonight."

"Ok." Bellamy nodded. "If you do the c section, they'll both be alright?"

"NO." Clarke cut in, sitting up fully. "Nate isn't strong enough yet. It is too early for him to live on his own. A c section is the last resort, we aren't there."

Even though they'd agreed to give the baby Millers' first name, they'd always called him the baby. Selfishly, Clarke hoped that if she used the baby's name, it would make it harder for Bellamy and the doctors to think of him as expendable. '

"Clarke, the doctor just said you'd both be fine. The baby would be a little early but-"

Clarke shook her head. "No, he wouldn't be. He needs a couple more weeks, if he doesn't get that, Nate won't make it."

Bellamy looked at Clarke, he could see the truth in her eyes and was now angry at the doctor. Bellamy looked back at the man, glaring.

Octavia decided to step in, seeing her brother losing his cool. "If it's not safe for Nate to come out now, what is the harm in giving him a couple more weeks?"

The doctor looked at Clarke, then looked between Bellamy and Octavia.

"Because of Clarke's pregnancy, and the couple of things I've seen on her file. This was already a high-risk pregnancy."

"What?" Bellamy looked at Clarke.

"No, it wasn't," Clarke told him. "Every pregnancy had its things. I'm no more high risk than anyone else."

"Until you're seizure." The doctor agreed.

"What?" Bellamy was no longer calm, all this information was flooding his brain and he didn't know what to do with it.

"It happened last night." Clarke reached for Bellamy's hand, trying to calm him. "It's why I'm here. I wasn't feeling right, so I left work early and went for a walk through the park. A woman found me and called for an ambulance."

Dr. Kim continued. "Because of the episode in the park. The placenta has torn, while it is fine for now, there is a serious possibility of it detaching. As well as some other fatal risks."

Bellamy sat down then, he had no feeling in his legs. All he could think was, he and Clarke were going to lose their baby. Unlike his sister, he hadn't caught on to what the doctor was pushing for, and why Clarke was so defensive.

Octavia walked closer to Clarke, putting her hand on her shoulder.

"They don't want to do a c section because the baby is at risk, they want a c section because you are."

Clarke nodded up at her best friend, practically sister. hey, both had tears in their eyes now.

Bellamy's eyebrows pulled together. "But he just said fatal risks."

He looked at Clarke, really looked at her. Looked at how defensive she'd been since the doctor had come in. How she'd turned down the idea of a c section because the baby was still too little. She hadn't once mentioned her health in all this. She hadn't mentioned it to him, because she knew he wouldn't like the answer.

Getting back to his feet, Bellamy looked square in the eye of the doctor.

"You do the c section, tonight. Clarke will be fine."

"Bellamy, no!" Clarke demanded his attention.

"With any surgery, this is minimal risk. But yes. Once it is done, your baby will be taken into the ICU and we will do all we can for him. If we don't operate, there is a very good chance we lose them both."

Clarke's hand grabbed Bellamy's shirt and pulled him toward her. Clarke was now on her knee's on the bed.

"Nate is too small. He will not survive the surgery." She pleaded with him.

Bellamy looked down at her, already having made up his mind. "He'll be okay."

"No. No, he won't. Bellamy, I'm telling you, he isn't their priority."

Bellamy looked her dead in the eye. "But you're both mines. Clarke, we can always try again."

Her heart broke at his words. She wanted to throw up with how finale his words sounded.

"No! We already have a baby. He's here and he's alive and he's safe."

"If having it, means losing you." Bellamy shook his head.

"It's not an 'it'."

"We'll come back in an hour. Give you some time to talk." Dr. Kim said, ushering out his heard of residence.

The couple stared at each other, as the room was emptied, even Octavia went out into the hall.

"I can't believe you're even considering this." Clarke sat back down on her bum.

"There is nothing to consider," Bellamy told her. "I'm not losing you, Clarke."

"You won't."

"The doctor said-"

"That doctor! Is a freaking new pup ready to cut into any flesh he sees? He's inexperienced, and he knows nothing. Medicine isn't new, there are drugs and things to help keep babies on the inside till term." Clarke explained. "He uses big words and scary terms like fatal because he wasn't to bully into getting his way."

Bellamy looked at her wide-eyed. "You're telling me there is no risk here?"

Clarke shrugged. "Tomorrow I could get hit by a bus or fall getting out of bed and hit my head."

"Don't do that. You can't ignore this, this is happening now."

"I'm not having a c section, not now. Whatever happens, happens."

Bellamy couldn't believe what he was hearing. "That's bleak."

"That's life." She told him simply.

Clarke watched Bellamy as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. She watched his eyes move back and forth as he processed all the information she'd just given him. She thought he was coming over to her side, then he opened his mouth.

"No. I'm not risking it, you're having the c section."

Clarke let her face go blank. "No, I'm not."

"Goddamn, it Clarke. This isn't like you going off with Lexa or you and my hideaway in the woods. This isn't a precaution. If you don't do this you die."

"And if I do, our baby died."

Bellamy took a deep calming breath, to keep himself from raising his voice again. He leaned forward and took her hands in his.

"We can have more babies Clarke."

Clarke smiled at him sadly, before she used the words she was hoping she wouldn't have to.

"My body my choice."

Bellamy looked at her, fury and pain in his eyes. Dropping her hands he kicked the chair away from him and stormed out of the room.

Octavia who'd been trying to listen in from the hallway followed Bellamy down the hall.

"Bell wait!"

"She's just going to let herself die! She didn't even think about it!"

"I'm sure she'd thought of nothing else since she woke up in that bed."

"How could she do this?" Bellamy pounded his fist into the wall. "She's taking herself away from me."

"I don't think Clarke's thinking about it like that."

"Well, that's what she's doing! She's not going to let them operate."

Octavia watched her brother's back hit the wall as he slid to the floor, looking around the empty hallway she joined him.

"I've lost her already."

"The doctors will take care of her Bellamy. Even if she doesn't get the c section tonight, they'll make sure she's alright."

Bellamy shook his head.

"After Miler died, after her dad. I know what it's like to live without her." Bellamy looked up at his baby sister. "I cannot live without her."

Octavia sighed, she didn't know what to say. Her heart was breaking for them. Because no matter how set Bellamy was on keeping Clarke alive, she knew how excited he'd been for this baby. To be a dad.

"I'm not doing it," Bellamy confirmed.

What do you mean?" Bellamy got up and stormed toward the elevators. "Bellamy!"

.

"Hi," Octavia said, stepping into Clarke's room.

"Hi."

Octavia walked across the room and sat in the chair her brother had been in.

"I need you to promise me that you won't die. Cause if I take your side and you die. I can't do that to my brother."

Clarke looked over at her best friend.

"I'm not going to die."

Octavia reached over, taking her hand.

"Okay then."

"OK." Clarke agreed.