Chapter 28

It's been too damn long and I am SO sorry. This story is ending in chapter 30. I cannot believe I left it for this long. I will be releasing Chapters 29 and 30 by the end of the day.

Warning; I will be dealing with postpartum issues. but I am NOT a mom. (While I did research) I'm sorry if some or all of the information does not match real moms' experiences.

Bellamy smiled down at his son, placing him in his car seat. While he did have to spend the night for observation, he was allowed to go home today. The only problem was, Clarke had to stay behind.

While she tried to hide it, Clarke was upset about not being going home with her family. If he was being honest, As much as Bellamy wanted to go home with their son, he also wanted to stay overnight in the hospital with his girl.

"Bye baby," Clarke muttered lovingly as Bellamy lifted the car seat high enough for her to get one last look at their son.

Setting the car seat on the floor real quick, Bellamy leaned over to kiss Clarke and reassure her.

"I promise I'll send you a picture when I get him all set up in his crib for the night."

Clarke smiled at him, tears shone in her eyes but didn't fall. But Bellamy knew they would once he left the room. Clarke was too strong for her own good.

"Ok." She said softly. "If you come back tomorrow, O should watch him from home. I don't want him catching germs in the hospital."

Bellamy shook his head. "Clarke..-"

"It's ok, In a week or so I'll be home with you guys." She'd been trying to assure Bellamy as much as herself.

"I love you." He told her, before picking up their baby and walking out of the room.

If he didn't leave at that moment, he was worried he wouldn't be able to pull himself away from her. It helped to know that Jake would be staying with her, just to keep him updated and make sure she wasn't all alone.

"Always knew you two would make a damn cute baby."

Clarke smiled at her dad, they both ignored the misting in her eyes as she lost sight of her boys.

.

The next week was the longest of her life. But Bellamy tried to make up for Clarke missing Nate's first week home. He face-timed with her and sent her videos over text, as did Octavia.

Bellamy wanted to visit with Clarke, but a 6-hour drive would have been too much. Clarke didn't mind though, she wanted Nate to have at least one of his parents with him.

When it was finally time for Clarke to go home. Bellamy made the 6-hour drive out alone, leaving his son in the capable hands of his sister. He wanted to make sure Clarke made it back home safe and sound.

Usually, the doctors want to see mom and baby together. See if the baby will latch, make sure both are still healthy. But with all the complications and everything they'd been through the past couple of weeks. Harper told them she'd come to visit them at him, keep them out of the hospital for a while.

"Hey, Princess." Bellamy smiled, entering her hospital room. "Couldn't wait huh?"

Clarke was already up and dressed in real clothes, instead of that uncomfortable hospital gown.

"I don't want to be here a second longer than I have to, I already signed all the paperwork. The only thing I couldn't do on my own was leave." Clarke glared at nothing. "Doctor Kim wouldn't let me."

Bellamy shook his head. "Yeah well he's right, and I'm making you take the wheelchair down to the lobby."

Clarke rolled her eyes but surprisingly enough moved to sit in the chair. Bellamy's eyebrows show up on his forehead.

"Yeah YEah. Anything to get me the hell out of here."

Bellamy laughed. Getting behind her, he kissed the top of her head.

"Where is your dad?" Bellamy wondered as they travelled down in the elevator.

Clarke smiled. "I kicked him out last night. He's almost as annoying as you are. Barley slept this past week. Every time I moved or made any kind of sign of life he was on his feet."

"Well as far as he knew, you were trying to make a run for it."

"Speaking of running for it. This elevator could not be any slower. It's like they don't want me to see my baby."

"You have a whole six-hour car ride to build up your excitement."

She chuckled, squinting as he rolled her out of the hospital and into the sunlight.

.

Octavia smiled as she heard keys jiggle in the door to her brother's apartment. Finally, her best friend was home. She and baby Nate were dancing around to music, passing the time until he could see his mom again.'

"Clarke would you just accept the help," Bellamy grumbled, opening the door.

"I let you carry my bag didn't I."

Bellamy scoffed, and Octavia let out a little chuckle.

"Hi, guys." She called, letting them know she was in the living room.

In a matter of seconds, she saw Clarke come into view. The blonde's eyes zero in on the baby.

"He's already so big." Clarke teared up, coming closer.

She reached out like she was going to take the baby from Octavia, then quickly retracted her arms. Her face dropped and tears pooled in her eyes.

She felt Bellamy's hand smooth along her lower back and saw Octavia react to her.

Because of the c section, Clarke wasn't allowed to carry the baby around for another couple of weeks, and she was on bed rest until Harper told her otherwise.

"I'm-"

"Clarke," Octavia said softly.

"-going to shower, I smell like a hospital." Clarke finished.

Bellamy spoke up. "He won't care what you smell like babe-"

"No." Clarke interrupted, "He's new. I don't want to give him germs from the hospital."

Moving slowly, not to tare her stitches, Clarke moved into her and Bellamy's room. Closing that door and the door to their bathroom. She felt tears in her eyes as she slipped out of her clothes and turned on the shower.

She double-checked that the door was locked, she didn't want Bellamy looking at her body. She didn't really want to look at it. She felt battered by her body undergoing carrying a baby and multiple surgeries less than two weeks ago.

To say she wasn't feeling her most attractive was an understatement. Keeping her eyes off her midsection, Clarke started to wash the sterile hospital smell from her body.

.

"She was so excited in the car, I could barely slow her down in the hallway. She wanted to get to him so badly. I expected her to sit on that couch with him for the next three weeks and not move."

Octavia bit her lip. "She was, I saw her face when she came into the room. I think when she reached out for him she realized I was holding and dancing around with him. That's something she can't do for the next couple of months."

Bellamy nodded. "I'm going to go check on her. Make sure she's doing okay. Do you think you could reheat what I made for dinner last night? She's been surviving on hospital food for the past month."

Octavia chucked. "Sure, do you want me to give Nate a bottle at the same time?"

"No. Harper will be by soon. She's hoping to latch Nate to Clarke."

Octavia nodded, moving with Nate toward the kitchen.

Bellamy smiled at his son, before heading off to check on his mommy.

Entering the bedroom, Bellamy could hear the water running. Reaching for the handle Bellamy was displeased to find Clarke had locked it.

Bellamy raised his hands to knock but then thought better of it. The last thing he needed was to startle Clarke and have her slip in the shower. So instead, he took a seat on the end of the bed and planned to wait for her.

A solid 30 minutes later, Clarke cracked the door to the bathroom, calling his name.

"Right here," Bellamy said, a little too eager to help. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I-" Clarke paused. "Could you bring me your old football tee?"

Bellamy's nose scrunched up. His old football tee was three sizes too big for him. The only reason he had it was because it came on one of those giant stuffed bears.

Clarke's body would swim in it. But hey, who was he to argue with her right now. He retrieved the shirt in question from the closet and brought it over to her.

Clarke had cracked the door only an inch or two, hiding from his view. When he held the shirt out to her, her hand emerged and she took it from him, immediately closing and locking the door.

"Thanks." She told him.

"No problem." Bellamy scratched the back of his head, returning to the bed.

After another 10 minutes, Clarke poked her head out of the door. Her damp curls were handed around her face. Said face also had a look of frustration on it.

"Can you get O?"

Bellamy stood up. "I could help you-"

Clarke shook her head. "I just need her for a second."

Nodding, Bellamy went to get his sister.

Trading off Nate on the way.

"Hey." Octavia smiled, walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

Her brother had given her a quick rundown of his interaction with Clarke. Octavia figured a smile might get her a long way. Hell, she was already in the bathroom, that's one step further than her brother had gotten.

"My arms are really tired, could you give me a french braid?"

She chuckled, "Sure, take a seat."

Octavia made quick work, twisting the blonde locks around and around.

"You must be excited to be home."

Clarke picked at her nails. "Dr. Kim wanted me to stay for another couple of days. But I'm healed, there was no reason."

Octavia nodded in agreement. "I know Bell is happy to have you home. Nate too, he missed his mom."

"He doesn't even know me."

Octavia paused in her braiding. "Of course he does. He was inside you. He's been slightly restless since leaving the hospital. He knows he's missing something. Plus, my brother doesn't stop telling him how beautiful his mommy is."

It was small, but Octavia saw the genuine upturn of Clarke's lips.

Finishing off her hair, Octavia kissed Clarke's cheek.

"Glad you're back. But I do need to get back to my home. I will be back to visit soon, and bring your push gift." Octavia laughed. "Now hurry up, there is one little boy out there, excited to see you. and one big boy." She added last minute.

"Ha. Can you tell Bellamy to bring him in here? I'm going to climb into bed."

"For sure."

With one more kiss on the cheek, she was gone.

Clarke closed her eyes, rubbing her eyelids. Holding onto the sink, Clarke pulled herself up. Making her way into her room, climbing under the covers.

.

"I think she's just tired." Octavia tried to assure her brother. "She just gives birth a week ago, her body was cut into and she did a lot of travelling today."

Bellamy nodded, he knew all that. Her sombre mood just put him on edge.

"Get in there and be a family. I'll text you once I am home."

"Love you O." He pulled her in for a hug.

"You too, big brother."

With baby in hand, Bellamy made his way to Clarke.

She was swallowed up in his big t-shirt, blankets pulled up to her waist. Her eyes came up to meet his as he entered the room.

"Hi."

Bellamy smiled at her voice, it was so good to hear after so long.

"Hey. Harper called, she will be by soon to check in on you and Nate."

Clarke nodded as Bellamy climbed onto the bed, laying Nate down in front of them. Putting him a little more on Clarke's side.

"He already has your curls," Clarke noted.

Bellamy nodded, he'd noticed that too.

"Still has your nose, but I think you're in luck. I think his eyes are going to stay blue like yours."

Clarke looked on at her baby. "I love your brown eyes." She said softly.

"Hi, buddy," Clarke spoke to Nate, taken aback when he immediately looked at her and smiled.

He kicked his little arms and legs out like he was waving with all of his limbs.

"He missed you," Bellamy told her. "We both did."

"His nose looks a little dry."

"Yeah, it's just from the O2 mask he wore after birth. dried out his nose a little bit." Clarke looked up at him, eyes sad. "It's clearing up and we have cream for him."

Looking back at her baby, Clarke sniffled. "I'm sorry buddy."

Bellamy's warm palm come to the rest of her upper back, "It's not your fault-"

"Feels like it is. I wasn't even here to feed him."

"He took to the bottle well, and Harper is coming over to hopefully get started on the breastfeeding tonight."

Clarke shook her head. "I know you wanted him to breastfeed, it's what we decided on."

Bellamy looked at Clarke. Really did not like the fact that she was beating herself down so hard. He wanted to comfort her more. But before he could say anything, Nate started to cry. He'd been watching Clarke intently. picking up on her unhappiness.

Clarke reached forward to pick him up, withdrawing her hands from him. Realizing once again, she wasn't allowed to pick him up.

"Bellamy." Clarke cried, needing him to make it all better.

Picking Nate up off of the bed, he moved in even closer to Clarke. Rubbing her back, Bellamy held Nate up, right against Clarke. The baby calmed right away. His little hand, flattening against her chest.

Bellamy could see Clarke was overwhelmed, and he hope this would make her feel more at ease. He watch as both his girl and their baby, calmed down.

Bellamy kept a calm tone as he talked to Clarke.

"Ok- ok." He muttered to her. "Take a couple of breaths. He just didn't like seeing you upset."

Clarke shook her head. "I don't- I'm a doctor- I feel so behind- I missed a week with him. I made him cry-I couldn't even-"

"Ok- stop-stop-shhh. Look down babe, look how content he is. Give yourself a break Clarke, you've been home for less than an hour."

"I can't pick him up." She told him.

Bellamy shook his head. "But you will, this is just for right now Clarke. You can cuddle him on your chest like this all you want. In a week or two, you will be able to do more on your own. For now, you'll just have to deal with me being stuck to your hip"

Clarke looked at him, her eyes sarcastic. "You act like that's a new behaviour."

Bellamy chuckled. "New to Nate."

Clarke tilted her head so she could press her lips to Nate's forehead. He smelled good, just like a baby.

Nate's tongue kept poking out from his lips. Clarke looked down at him.

"He's hungry," Clarke said.

Bellamy nodded, he usually fed Nate on a schedule, he was over time by fifteen minutes. He wanted to let Clarke feed him, but Harper wasn't here yet.

"I'll go make him a bottle," Bellamy said, starting to get out of bed.

Clarke shook her head, her face one of determination. "I can feed him."

Bellamy bit his lip. "You don't want to wait until Harper comes by later?"

Clarke stared at him. "I know how to do it, Bellamy."

"No, I know you do." He quickly tried to backtrack. "I just thought you might want to wait-"

"He's hungry now. This is literally the only thing I can do for him-"

"oK, OK." Bellamy climbed off the bed, grabbing the feeding pillow that had been leaning against the wall. "Let me help you."

Bellamy placed the pillow on Clarke's lap, laying Nate down against in, still in Clarke's arms. Clarke shimmied her shirt up, eyes on Nate.

Once her left breast was free, Clarke massaged it a little. Her nipple bumped against Nate's nose as he hungry searched for her.

Clarke let out a laugh that had Bellamy's heart-melting. He watched as she continued to massage herself. When she seemed satisfied Clarke leaned forward slightly.

He watched as his son's lips found her pink nipple, and pulled it into his mouth. His tiny hand came up to rest against the swell of her breast.

Bellamy smiled, happy to finally have his family whole and home.

.

Harper came by for regular checks, But both mom and baby were happy and healthy.

Clarke went through dips of depression, but she handled it like a champ. It was nothing like her first night home. It was harder for Bellamy to spot at first. Now he knew her quiet moments. The one where she puts on his big t-shirt and stays in bed with Nate, surrounded by blankets.

Those were the times he held them close and made sure Clarke felt supported.

But most days were filled with laughs and giggles. Nate was cute and hilarious. He slept and ate a lot, but it didn't matter. Clarke and Bellamy spent all their time with him. Each took turns showering while Nate napped. Neither wanting to miss a moment with him.

Their friends came by, always with some kind of food dish. They would pick up and bring over whatever supplies the couple needed.

It was almost two weeks before Bellamy left home for the first time. He left Clarke and Nate alone with Jake.

They needed groceries and Bellamy needed to stop at work. Sgt Miller had called him, saying they had the answers they'd been looking for.

Bellamy gave himself a four-hour window and kept his ringer on, in case Clarke needed to get in touch with him.

It was irrational. His family was safe with Jake there, but Bellamy would always worry.