Phil sat crossed-legged on the bed in the room he had been given. He'd managed to get something to eat without running into any of the others. Gideon told him that they were having a meeting about what to do now. It meant he wouldn't run into them and be looked at like he was pretending that he didn't remember being Rip Hunter. Like some little thing they showed him would bring back his memories.
The first of the diaries that had been sitting on the shelf sat on the bed in front of him.
Phil wanted to read it, he did. He wanted to know about the man everyone thought he was.
But Phil also didn't want to know because of how they all seemed to think of the man.
"I can answer any questions you have," Gideon told him.
Phil let out a long sigh, "I know."
"They are your diaries," Gideon reminded him, "It is not a bad thing for you to read them. You're are not invading anyone's privacy."
"I do know that," he said, "But…"
"But?"
Phil pushed his hand through his hair, "I don't know, Gideon. I don't know if I want to read about the man they think I'm meant to be."
Lifting the journal to toss it away a photograph slid out onto the bed. Phil reached for it, staring in astonishment at the brunette smiling back at him.
"Wow," he breathed, "It's Sandra."
"No, Mr Gasmer," Gideon spoke up, "That is Miranda."
He laughed slightly, "No, I mean in my movie. This is how I imagined the leader of the Legends looked."
"Interesting," she noted, "That you inserted Miranda into your film as the leader of the crew. Everyone assumed that she was based on Captain Lance."
"Why?"
There was a pause for several moments before Gideon answered, "A good question, Mr Gasmer. More than likely due to the fact she has taken over the team in your…Captain Hunter's absence."
Phil shrugged before he gazed at the picture again, she was as beautiful as he dreamed her to be. After several minutes Phil looked up thoughtfully.
"Gideon," he called, "Why is this picture in the diary? Who is she?"
"Her name is Miranda," Gideon explained, "She was Captain Hunter's wife."
Phil sighed sadly, "The way you said was, she's dead isn't she?"
"Yes."
He laughed slightly, "Well it explains why I dreamed about her so much. Why I was so obsessed with making sure her character was perfect. And why the actress who played her always felt inadequate."
"I have read your script, Mr Gasmer," Gideon said softly, "Now I know who she was meant to be I can assure you that she is exact. This is Miranda you have written."
Phil bounced off the bed and began to pace, after a while he slid the photograph back in the diary.
"Gideon, I'm sorry I can't be your Captain," he said, "I don't want to remember losing her. I prefer her to be a dream."