PART 9

2440 ZULU

Dr. Elizabeth Sanchez's Office

Washington, D.C.

Harm handed the stick over to Mac once she returned. He wanted to ask if she was alright, but he didn't know where to begin.

Dr. Sanchez began a different tactic with Mac, trying to find a way to tie everything together. "Why did you join the Marines, Colonel?"

Mac sighed. "I had a bit of a bad childhood. . . did some hell raising. . . drank a lot. . . got in some trouble . . . my Uncle was in the Marines, he inspired me."

"What was your take of when you first met the Commander?" Dr. Sanchez proceeded.

Mac took a breath and fumbled with her cover. "Well. . . I've been used to having men try to seduce me. . . at first I thought he was trying to. . . not take advantage, but maybe have an unfair advantage. . . It's difficult for women in the military to get the respect that we deserve."

"After that, how would you describe your relationship with the Commander?"

Mac smiled, "Great actually. . . I mean we had our court battles, but we managed to remain good friends. . . until we had a case on a Submarine." She frowned at the thought. She wanted so badly to talk to him then and she would have let him know her intentions had he not effectively removed himself from the conversation. "We bumped heads a bit harder that usual. . . things spiraled from then on. . . soon after he left JAG and went back to active flight duty." Her voice was low, as if she were trying to hide her suffering. Harm, for once, caught the tone in her voice and realized the pain that she'd normally try to hide. "And then he returned months later."

Dr. Sanchez realized she had struck a chord with this new information, so she decided to use it. "Were you happy when he returned?"

Mac shrugged. "Things were different. . . they weren't the same and I resented him for it." She held a breath for a moment and let it out slowly. "When he left it was like he was leaving... me. . . like he didn't care about me." She said, feeling selfish at wanting him to stay for her own sake. "And then came Australia. . ." She didn't even wait for Dr. Sanchez to question it, instead, she just continued, ignoring the fact that Harm was just next to her. "I made a move on him and he pushed away. . . made me feel unwanted. . . Not to mention that when he left to play with this planes he said something along the lines of love not having anything to do with anything. . . that broke me in two."

"Is that when you got together with someone else?" Dr. Sanchez looked at her notes and quickly pieced all the information together. Harm figured that she was good, really good.

Mac nodded softly. "Harm pushed away. . . I went to another man."

"What happened when his plane crashed?" She asked looking at Mac.

"A part of me crashed with him. . ." Mac said closing her eyes tight remembering that evening so vividly. "I wanted to swim out to sea and tell him that I needed him. . . I felt so guilty because times before I'd told him 'good luck' and this time I didn't. . . I don't feel bad about my wedding not happening. . . I think that was . . ." Trailing off she looked over at Harm. "I don't blame you for taking care of Renee when her father died, Harm. . . I was being selfish."

Dr. Sanchez raised her eyebrows in confusion. "Care to elaborate, Colonel?"

"The night my fiancé left me, he did so because he thought there was something between Harm and me." Mac sighed and saw Harm turn his head away. "I called Harm and he told me to come over. . . I thought we were going to . . I don't know make sense of things?" Her voice cracked a bit. Clearing her throat she continued. "His girlfriend was there, her father had died and Harm and I couldn't. . .talk. . . I hated him for it then. . . but I was being selfish. . . I couldn't handle it and so, this time, I left him behind."

Dr. Sanchez frowned. "How long did it take before you saw each other again?"

"He followed me out there when I refused to talk to him over the phone. . . When I came back home we had a rough patch and then smoothed it out, we were doing good again." Mac said, trailing off for a moment. True, things between the two of them had gotten very good until the Singer fiasco and then Paraguay.

"Something else happened?" Dr. Sanchez was now beginning to feel like she was put in the middle of a soap opera rather than a therapy session.

"He didn't tell me about something personal that was going on. . ." Pausing, she decided not to mention his brig time. "He had to go away. . .and when he came back, I had to go away.on a mission. . . My life was in danger and." She looked over at Harm and smiled. "He saved me. . . brought me home safely."

Dr. Sanchez smiled. "Well you two have quite a history together."

Mac nodded and smiled. "We do."

"So what led to your CO to call me?" Dr. Sanchez asked hoping she could get to the root of the problem in one session since they were both forthcoming with info.

"After a horrible year, we finally managed to figure things out. . . or so I thought." Mac said looking down at the floor. "We got together. . . he pushed me away." And that was all that she could say about it. There was no more detail, that was the beginning and end of it all.

Harm reached his hand over to Mac and she slid the stick into his hand. "I pushed away because I was concerned."

"About what, Commander?" Dr. Sanchez said, happy that they decided to follow her rule rather than scream at each other.

Harm sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "We've both been having strange dreams. . . seemingly pointing to a past life. . . in the dreams either she or I die. . . I pushed away because I thought that dreams were foretelling a future." He said quietly hoping that Dr. Sanchez did not consider him to be a lunatic.

Dr. Sanchez nodded and took a look at her watch. "Time is up for today, but if you really want to check into your dreams I can help you. . . if you don't mind coming on a Saturday."

Mac looked over at Harm and nodded. "I wouldn't mind."

"I wouldn't either." He said, looking over at her.

"Perfect, I'll contact you both about the time." Smiling she stood and took the stick from Harm. "I think we've made some headway . . . and you two have a lot to discuss." Extending her hand, she took each of theirs and shook it. "It was good to have you two here, if you ever want to discuss something, give me a call."

Harm and Mac headed out of the office and to their corvettes that were parked side by side. "I'll see you tomorrow, Harm."

Nodding he smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow." Getting into his car, he watched her leave.