A/N Hey guys and gals, sorry to leave you on that little piece of drama (not really, I love little cliffhangers) but here is the fifth chapter, as I was writing this my laptop crashed and none of my writing was saved so I'm not super happy with this chapter but I hope you enjoy it! A song that I recommend for this chapter is Snow by Red Hot Chilli Peppers -boundless

Chapter 5 Part 1

As Alex went to put the towel back, something caught her eye. She looked down at the shelf to the place where she found the towel and saw the objects that were hidden by it.

They were razors, one with fresh blood.

Alex's POV

Alex spent the next day thinking about her discovery and kept a close eye on Piper, she was trying to piece everything together. As much as Alex didn't want to jump to conclusions she couldn't deny the facts. Everytime Piper got a phone call with bad news or was worried about something, she went to the bathroom and always came back pale, wearing a jumper or sweatshirt. Piper was also the only person that Alex has ever seen to wear long sleeved shirts in the middle of the summer, now that she thinks about it, Alex has never seen Piper wear a short-sleeved shirt once. The brunette sighed. She had found a blood-covered razor in Piper's bathroom after she had gone in there after a text from someone whom Alex assumed must have been Polly.

This then leads to the question, who is Polly and what did she do to Piper?

Alex was so lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't notice Piper heading to her bathroom again. Almost.

"Hey, Pipes."

Piper turned, and Alex didn't register the nickname she had just endowed Piper with.

"Yeah, Alex?"

"Um..."

Alex didn't know what to say to Piper, all she knew was that she didn't want the blonde to hurt herself again.

"Can you help me move to the patio outside? I need some fresh air."

Piper seemed almost relieved that she could help Alex instead of going to her bathroom. The brunette knew then that Piper had indeed been going to hurt herself.

"Sure, Alex."

Piper put her arm around the brunette's shoulders and helped her up and out of the sofa, she was sitting on.

Together they walked to the patio at the front of the house and took a seat to look out at the garden.

Alex turned to look at Piper but the blonde was staring out at the garden in front of her, lost in thought. Alex followed her gaze. As she observed her surroundings she realised that at the end of where the driveway met the road, there was a large forest expanding around the area. Piper was very isolated in a place like this. It was at this time Alex decided she was going to get to know the blonde better. "If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be and why?"

Piper laughed and went look at Alex "I'm sorry, what?"

"If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be and why?"

"Oh, gosh." Piper shook her head and smiled softly "That's such an odd, out-of-the-blue question, Alex"

"I can go first if you want?" Alex looked at Piper, waiting for an answer.

"No, it's fine. You took me by surprise, that's all. Just give me a moment to think about it."

Piper looked back out to the garden, her eyebrows were furrowed and her nose was slightly crinkled. Alex thought it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen but quickly told herself how weird it was to think that. They had only known each other for a few days.

Piper turned to look back at Alex "My grandmother, Martin Luther King Jr, and Elton John."

The brunette couldn't help but laugh. "That's quite an odd group of people. Can you tell me why?"

"Elton John, because I use to listen to his music when I was a teenager and he seems like he'd be up for any conversation. Martin Luther King Jr, to talk to him about all of the amazing activist work he did and to get a different viewpoint on today's society. My grandmother, Celeste, because she was my closest family member and it would be nice just to talk with her again."

"Was?"

"Yeah, she passed a couple months ago." Piper lowered her head.

"I'm sorry"

"No, it's ok. Sometimes I just miss her more than other times"

The two stayed in silence for a moment. Alex felt some guilt for making Piper bring up the topic.

"Who would you choose?"

The brunette realised she had not answered the question yet and responded without thinking "My mum, Nicky, and Cate Blanchett."

Piper laughed and Alex just wanted to put that sound on repeat

"Can you tell me why?"

"Oh, sure" Alex realised that she was starting to give away parts of herself she had kept hidden for so long. "Nicky, she's my best friend. I haven't seen her in about 5 months, and Cate Blanchett because she looks like she'd have really cool fingers."

"What about your mum?" Piper seemed like she was enjoying herself.

Alex knew that the blonde had no idea about her mum and just wanted to get to keep the conversation going, but Alex didn't know how much she should say. She decided on the truth, Piper might be offended if she thought Alex didn't trust her.

"My mum because I want to say goodbye to her properly. She died about 7 months ago and I would just like to tell her how much I love her."

Alex felt an arm go around her. She looked at Piper and they stayed in silence for a few moments. Alex hadn't told anyone about what had happened to her mother except Nicky, and she had left her months ago. She felt somewhat relieved that she had gotten it off of her chest.

After spending the day getting to know each other, both women became a little more comfortable in the other's presence. Alex found out that she and Piper shared similar interests in lots of things, literature included. The brunette loved to read so this already made their bond a little stronger.

Alex didn't want to ruin their day together so she stayed quiet about her discovery last night. This did not stop her from thinking about it though. Once she and Piper had gone to their separate bedrooms, Alex stayed awake, running questions through her mind.

Piper seemed like such a happy person, why would she hurt herself? The brunette knew that sometimes people didn't hurt themselves out of sadness, it could be other reasons as well. So she pieced together bits of information and formed a list in her head. Alex had only been around one other self-harming person before in her life and no memories of him hurting himself were good ones.

xxx

"Hey, John!"

Alex called out to her friend, he was spending so much time at home that she barely got to see him anymore. As she ran to pull him into a hug she noticed the bandages over his hands and wrists. She looked up into his eyes but John turned his head away from her.

"Hi, Al."

Alex just pulled her friend closer.

She had known John since she was little. They had lived next to each other for all 15 years of their lives and were going to the same high school together. John was one of Alex's very few friends. She didn't like to socialize at school and sometimes got bullied for her lack of money, but John was always at her side. Together they had made it through kindergarten, elementary, middle school, and now they were with each other for the homestretch.

John had recently been spending a lot of his time at home instead of with Alex. She was okay with that as she worked throughout most of her free time to keep her mum and herself afloat, but Alex also knew that John was battling against depression so he might need some time to himself. What Alex didn't know, was that her best friend was hurting himself in that alone time.

Alex pulled away from the hug and took an arm in each of her hands to look at them.

"John?" She looked into his eyes, asking a question she could not say in words.

"I'm fine, Al. It's nothing you need to worry about."

Alex wanted so badly to believe him, but she also knew how much he struggled with his obsessive personality. One time, in fifth grade, John had fallen in love with the sound of a pen against papers and spent a week in his room scribbling on pieces of paper until his hands were raw and there were bits of paper and pen all over his bedroom. Alex knew that if he had hurt himself on purpose and willingly, he may not be able to stop.

"John, if you need anything I'm just over the fence. Don't feel afraid to stop."

He looked at her and nodded with a small smile. He knew what would happen if he couldn't control himself.

xxx

Alex shook the memory out of her head and tried to get some rest.

Piper's POV

Piper went to bed feeling better than she had in a long time. She really felt like she and Alex were connecting and that it would be an almost enjoyable two weeks together.

She had been slowly falling down the grave that she was digging for herself until Alex came along. Alex had been a much-needed distraction for Piper, a beautiful and intriguing distraction, but one at that. Her whole year had been pretty shitty. She had a falling out with her last serious relationship, her best friend Polly had betrayed her in the most heinous of ways, and she had left New York to live in Ithaca.

Piper had moved to get away from her smothering parents and create a life for herself away from the drama, only it seemed to have followed her. In the time since Piper had been living in Ithaca, all of the worst things that could have happened to her did. She had also been hospitalised three times, one time the doctors were sure that she would die and had contacted her friends and family but no one, not even her brothers, came to see her.

The blonde knew what it felt like to be alone in the world and wanted to help Alex through whatever she seemed to be going through.

She had learnt some stuff about Alex today but there was such an air of mystery around her. Who was Alex Vause? Where did she come from? Why was she travelling down an old road in the middle of nowhere? And why did she seem like she was in such a rush to leave?

Piper had decided early on that she liked Alex, she seemed like her heart was in the right place. Piper also couldn't deny that the woman was attractive and her little smirk made her somewhat weak in the knees. Sure, she had read almost all of the same books as Piper and could hold a conversation, her features were also godlike and her voice was rough but yet as smooth as liquid gold. Piper, what are you thinking? her internal monologue questioned her You just met this woman no more than 4 days ago and now you're thinking of her as a schoolgirl crush? The blonde couldn't disagree with that little voice in her head, but she also knew that keeping things platonic with Alex would be the best way to go. Her last relationship ended badly and took a lot out of her, she doubted that she could commit to something anytime soon.

xxx

Piper had just finished having a nice meal with Alex when her phone started to ring. She looked at the ID and saw that it was Polly. What a bitch. Piper knew that she couldn't ignore her forever so she picked up the phone and sent Alex an apologetic look.

She walked out of the dining room and pressed accept on her phone.

"What do you want Polly?"

"Piper, we need to talk about what happened"

"No, Polly, I don't want to talk about it"

"Come on, Piper. I've been your best friend for five years now, you know I didn't intend to hurt you."

"I just can't understand why you would do this to me"

Piper waited for a reply knowing that whatever Polly said next would affect the path of this conversation and maybe their friendship.

"I didn't want to do this to you and I thought that you would be over it by now. Besides, you didn't even love Larry when you were together with him, he left you because you were acting all weird and distant, you knew that he was going to leave you at some point. That relationship just wasn't meant to work out, Pipes."

Piper couldn't believe that Polly had the nerve to blame her for her failed relationship with Larry "How dare you say that! It wasn't my fault and If I had known that my relationship was 'doomed' I would have tried to fix it."

"Wow, Piper. That's rich coming from you. You would have somehow managed to get your shit together, and fix your broken relationship, just as you tried to fix that Popi line, or attempted to salvage a small sliver of that pathetic excuse of a life you have. Never, have I once, seen you try to care about anything other than yourself, and you even do a shit job at that."

Piper was hurt that Polly thought about her like that and was about to give her a piece of her mind when Polly started talking again.

"You can't even try to be happy for me Piper. I have finally found someone that makes me happy and you're too consumed in your own self-pity to acknowledge that. You broke up six months ago, it's time to move on and get out of that narcissistic bubble that you have been living in. Reality moves on no matter what you do Piper, it's time to join the real world and snap out of that so-called 'depression' that you have and get happy for yourself and other people. You're just being self-absorbed at this point Pipes, so fuck you."

Polly obviously had no idea about what depression was like and Piper was done with the people she cared for in her life giving her shit.

"Stop being such a bitch and don't call me again!"

"You know what, Piper? sometimes I wish that you had just died"

"You know what Polly, sometimes I wish that too!".

Pipers voice cracked at the end of her sentence and she ended the phone call.

xxx

Piper had fallen asleep, dreaming of her conversation with Polly when she heard shouts coming from the upstairs guest room. The blonde jumped out of bed and threw on a jumper, she then ran out into the hallway and opened the door to Alex's room. She laid eyes on the thrashing brunette. She was shouting incoherent words and her face was scrunched up in fear. Piper sat on the end of the bed and tried to keep her still so she wouldn't hurt herself.

"Alex, Al, wake up. It's just a dream."

Alex tried to push Piper away but the blonde just kept holding onto Alex's shoulders to stop her from splitting open the stitches.

"Alex, please!"

The brunette was slowly coming back to her senses and Piper noticed that her eyes were starting to open.

"Where...where am I?"

"Alex, it's me, Piper. You're in the guest bedroom."

The brunette opened her eyes wide and looked around the room. She then turned to Piper and she saw realisation in the brunette's eyes. "I need to go." Alex tried to get out of the bed but Piper held her down.

"Don't be ridiculous Al, you've just woken up and are clearly not thinking straight."

"No, Piper. I-"

Piper cut her off and forced her to make eye contact "Alex, listen to me." her voice had taken to a stern tone "You need to relax, it was a nightmare. You're safe here."

The two maintained eye contact until Piper felt Alex's body relax and her breathing calmed down. The two stayed silent for a moment, wary of the short-lived peace.

"I'm sorry, Pipes" Alex whispered so quietly that Piper almost didn't hear her. Almost.

"It's ok, Alex. I know that you've been through a lot these past five days."

"Thanks, wait... five days?"

Piper pointed to the alarm on the bedside table "It's two in the morning so technically it's the fourth day" Alex turned to look at the clock face and sure enough, a red 02:07 was shown. Alex laid her head back on the bed and apologised to Piper again. The blonde wasn't going to have any of it so she just hushed her and said it was completely understandable.

After about ten minutes Piper realised that she was still holding Alex. The brunette had already started to close her eyes and Piper felt something she hadn't in a long time. The feeling of being contempt. When Piper was holding her she only realised how worried she had been for Alex but by holding her she eased some of that dread. Piper was confused about what she was feeling. She had only met this woman four days ago. The last time she was feeling this way she had let down most of her walls, Piper was determined not to get hurt by someone else again. So, against her wishes, she let go of Alex and pulled up the brunette's blankets, brushing a strand of dark hair away from her beautiful face.

Piper went to bed feeling like there was a rock sitting in the bottom of her stomach.

A/N Yes, this is part 1 of 2 of the fifth chapter. This is only because I didn't have enough time to finish it and I really wanted to post something for all you lovely people. Please review, I really appreciate it! I hope that you have an amazing week! -boundless