A/N Thank you so much. I know we're all as frustrated as they are. I have a feeling that by the end of this chapter something's going to give. Enjoy!
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It felt so good to wake up and find her quietly sleeping in his arms.
He wondered how they'd managed to sleep all night without moving. It didn't seem possible, but then he didn't question it too much. For once in his life he simply enjoyed what was happening, allowing himself to take pleasure in the warm and tender moment.
Then he remembered and the moment of happiness quickly came to an end. This was it. This was the day she was leaving.
The only comfort he could think to grasp onto was knowing that no matter how hard this was for both of them, it was the right thing for her. He would never feel good asking her to go against the things she believed. Anyway, wasn't that what love was supposed to be? He'd heard it somewhere and now that he'd met Beth he believed it was true, people have to love each other for who they are.
He didn't have any reservations about that, he knew that was the way he loved Beth and if waiting was important to her, it was important to him.
He glanced down at her pretty face noting how the bruising had faded almost completely. He knew she'd always have that scar on her cheek, and although he was still angry with the man who'd put it there, as far as Daryl was concerned it didn't detract from her beauty.
He lightly brushed a strand of hair from her forehead and as she slowly began to stir he leaned his face a little closer to hers. He gently kissed her cheek whispering, "Mornin' Darlin'."
She snuggled closer and in a sleepy voice she whispered her thoughts to him, "I wish we could lay here like this forever Daryl." He was about to tell her he wished the same when he heard the warning signal. The sound of the floor creaking upstairs got him moving.
As he hurriedly slipped into his jeans he smiled over at her, keeping his voice low when he shared, "I been meanin' ta fix that board for a couple months, now I don't think I'll ever brother to."
Just as fast as the words left his lips he felt a sharp pain, like a knife to the belly. What if it didn't matter whether the floor creaked or not? What if Beth never slept in his bed again?
He stood at the old stove cooking breakfast with so many thoughts racing through his mind. How could he think about bacon and eggs when she was leaving? He told himself to knock it off, to think of the good. For right now, this minute, the good was she was still there with him and they were going to have a meal together.
There were other things he tried to focus on too. She said she loved him, and she'd said those words to him more than once. He'd told her the same, that he loved her. He never thought he'd say those words to anyone except Mick but it felt so right to say them to Beth. He reminded himself over and over of the things they'd said and the promises they'd made, and he almost had himself convinced that everything was going to turn out right.
Then, as they all sat having breakfast something came over Mick that shook him bad. Never had she behaved in such a way.
In the middle of the meal something went wrong. Mick slid out of her chair with an angry look on her face and scurried over to where he sat. He was about to ask her what was going on when with tiny balled up fists she pushed hard against the side of his thigh.
Before he could ask her what the hell she thought she was doing his daughter yelled, "Why ya bein' so mean an makin' Beth leave? It ain't fair! She belongs here with us an ya know it!"
He never had a chance to respond. As soon as the words were out of her mouth the little girl suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobs. Her small body was shaking to the point it scared him, but before he could reach out Beth was already on her knees and pulling the crying child into her arms.
He was transfixed as he watched the woman he loved trying to console the child he loved. Beth was holding his girl pressed tightly against her as she rubbed Mick's back and whispered over and over, "It's okay Mick, you're going to see me all the time, I promise."
As Mick began to calm down Beth leaned back on her heels and tried to reason with the child, "You remember, don't you Mick? We said we love each other. Don't people who love each other want to spend their time together? I know I want to spend my time with you, all the time I can, and we will. Please don't cry."
Mick's face was wet from tears and red as a beet when Beth wiped her little nose with a handkerchief and calmly corrected her, "It's not Daddy's fault that I'm moving. It's my idea. And Mick, even if it was his fault you can't be yelling at him that way. He's your Daddy. You love him don't you?"
The little girl nodded "yes" as she rubbed a fist over her eye. Beth took her face in gentle hands and suggested, "That's right and he loves you. Why don't you apologize to Daddy and promise him you won't yell at him again? He'll feel better and so will you. Alright?"
Daryl was still in a daze when Mick hurried back to him, wrapping her little arms around the same leg she'd pushed on. She kissed it and said, "I'm sorry Daddy. I promise I ain't ever gonna do that again. You'll see I don't. I love ya Daddy."
He was confused, was he supposed to be mad and punish her? No, no he couldn't do that. She was a little kid who was only acting out the very same things he was feeling. Fuck it, there'd be things to punish her for some other day. For this day he picked her up, kissed her cheek and told her, "I know you're sad, we're all sad. Ya just gotta trust that we're gonna work this out. Right now we got a big day but later tonight you n me will talk about all this some more, k?"
He held her close to his chest, kissing the top of her head as he whispered, "I love ya Mick. I'ma always love ya and I'ma always be lookin' out for ya. It matters ta me that ya know that."
She put her tiny hand on his cheek and promised, "I do an I'ma be so good Daddy, you'll see I am. I ain't even gonna complain. You're my Daddy and I love ya."
The heaviness in the air had them all sitting quietly as they tried to finish their breakfast.
After breakfast, and for the first time in weeks she got behind the wheel of her car. Daryl stood watching and worrying. There seemed to be so much to worry about. He was concerned about her driving after all this time, he was worried about her going to her old place. Most of all he just hated seeing her leave.
He set his hand on the window frame but all he said was, "I'll see ya in a little while. Just take it slow and be careful."
"I will and it's not that far," she smiled and tried to lighten the moment, "And now that you know Maggie a little better, don't you think she'll already be there? Shoot, she's probably done by now."
He went along, smiling and nodding, "Yeah, you're right." But it all felt so wrong.
She wasn't as brave as she pretended to be. She only drove for a block and a half before pulling her car over and having a good cry.
Just as Beth thought she would be, Maggie was already at her old place. She had Beth's kitchen things packed up and was just deciding what to pack next. Beth's first question was, "What time did you get here Maggie? For goodness sake, it's only seven."
Maggie didn't bother with the question, she was in loving and protective mode as she put her arms around her younger sister and said, "I'm sorry you have to move Bethie." Then she looked at her sister so seriously and added, "But you know, you could just stay with Daryl. It's what you both want. He loves you and I know he'll take care of you."
Beth felt the emotion well-up but she was determined not to cry, "I know, and I know you're very happy with your life Maggie. I just can't do things like you. And anyway, Daryl and me, we'll still see each other almost every day. Everything will be fine and someday I'm sure he'll ask me to marry him." Except everything wasn't fine at all and she wasn't sure about anything. He never said he wanted to get married.
Maggie was done talking about it, but only for as long as it took to get the work done. Her tone changed and she sounded a little something like a drill sergeant when she said, "I had Abraham bring me by last night and I got most of the kitchen packed up. I mean Beth, do you realize how much there is to do? Not that I want you to do it, I want you to rest. I've got this under control."
Beth couldn't help smiling at her sister, "Maggie, you're one of a kind and thank you. I'm sure you could do it all, but I'm not going to let you. I'll start on my personal things."
"What about Daryl's brother, isn't his stuff in the new place?"
"No, he already moved it out. I guess he didn't have his clothes or any other personal things there, just furniture and some dishes and pans and stuff. He told Daryl he gave it all away to a young couple his girlfriend knows of, they just got married and they needed a little start." As soon as she said the words her heart hurt again. Newlyweds. Would she and Daryl ever be newlyweds?
Maggie was full steam ahead and Beth was moving quickly too, hoping the work would keep her mind off her heart. With their combined high energy the women had the packing completed when Daryl and Abraham arrived in their trucks, just after noon.
She'd been worried about the little girl and the first thing Beth asked him was, "How's Mick?"
He shrugged and answered, "She seems fine. Uncle Merle took her out ta lunch while we're doin' this. Even though I made a big point with him that she don't get no sweets, and even though he said he wouldn't give her any, I think we all know he's fulla shit."
Beth was smiling when she said, "Shame on him."
"Yeah well wait'll he has one a his own, Uncle Daryl's gonna be spoilin' that kid rotten." Then he put his arm across her shoulders and whispered in her ear, "Thanks for this mornin'. You're so good with Mick. Ya know how ta talk ta her."
Under any other circumstances Beth probably would have loved her new apartment. It was airy and spacious with a big living room and a nice little dining room area. The kitchen was large for an apartment and the appliances looked brand new. Her new bedroom was just right and the bathroom had a nice tub.
None of it really mattered to her. What mattered didn't have anything to do with what was there, what mattered was who wasn't there. Daryl and Mick.
For now she tried to keep her mind off her sadness by keeping busy, and with the four of them working together they had Beth's things moved into her new apartment in no time.
Daryl didn't want to leave Beth until he had to but he knew the cupboards and the fridge were bare. Instead of going himself he gave Maggie cash to make a quick run to the market for groceries, while he stayed behind and helped Beth get her things put away.
It wasn't long before Merle came by with Mick and although she was fine, his daughter still looked so sullen to him. He knew he was lying when he told himself she was just tired.
When they finished their work he took Beth and Mick to dinner, and for the first time he could ever remember he wasn't sure he could eat. Beth didn't seem to get much dinner down either, and Mick, well Mick never did eat much but it seemed like even less than usual.
They got back to Beth's apartment and he and Mick walked her in. They visited for a while but not for long. Mick was dozing off and he could see how tired Beth looked. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave her, but he finally told himself he had to do this. He had to let Beth rest. He had to get Mick home. He had to get himself home, cleaned up and in bed.
Alone. He'd be alone in bed.
He tossed and turned most of the night. Nothing felt right without her there, not even the bed itself. It felt like the sheets and the blanket had been twisted onto it, and he was twisted up in them. He tried holding the pillow but it didn't help. Shit, how could some old bed pillow take the place of Beth?
Sometime around one a.m. he heard the telltale creak of the floor above him, followed by the sound of Mick's little feet on the stairs. She came over to his bed and in a sleepy voice told him, "It's too lonely Daddy. I can't sleep." He understood exactly how she felt as he lifted her in the bed with him and covered her. Finally they both calmed down and slept a little.
Beth wasn't fairing any better than him and Mick. She tried reading, she tried warm milk, she even resorted to counting sheep. None of it worked. All she could think about was him. She wondered if he was getting any sleep.
They'd made arrangements. Sunday he and Mick had their usual breakfast at the diner with Merle and afterward they drove to her apartment.
It had only been a few hours but Beth felt like she hadn't seen them in forever. She was dressed and ready to go, pacing the floor as she waited for them to arrive. Everything seemed instantly better when the knock finally came to her door and she was able to hug the two people she'd come to think of as her family.
He drove them to the lake and although they dropped lines in, fishing was not really their focus. It was about all of them being together. They took a quiet walk and it felt so good to be together, holding hands with the people they loved as they all enjoyed the beautiful scenery.
He lay a blanket on the ground in the shade of a big oak and at first the three of them sat together having the sandwiches and tea she'd brought.
Maybe it was the lack of sleep they'd all suffered the night before, maybe it was the warmth of the sun or the quiet surroundings, or maybe it was just how much they'd all missed each other. Daryl and Beth laid back on the blanket with their arms around each other and Mick happily tucked between them.
Before they dozed off Mick said, "I love ya Beth, I love ya Daddy."
Beth smiled as she kissed the little girl's cheek, "I love you too Mick, and I love your Daddy."
His eyes were heavy with sleep and happiness when he kissed them in turn and whispered, "And I love ya both."
It was over an hour later when they slowly began to wake, still held together in loving arms and none of them wanting to break the spell.
That night things were no easier on any of them than they'd been the night before. Besides being apart, Daryl and Beth each had some concern about the next day. She'd be going back to work for the first time in two weeks. She was doing well but she still didn't feel completely like herself, and she was still so tired in the afternoons.
If it were up to him he'd be taking care of her and she wouldn't be working at all. He was angry with himself it wasn't that way.
Monday morning was fun for her, it was cheerful really as she saw all of her friends again. Before her shift started and over lunch everyone had questions for her about the accident and the evil man who had since gone to answer to his maker. Still the day seemed so long and by the time her shift was over she was barely keeping her eyes open.
She got home and had just 10 minutes to freshen herself up a little before he arrived. She felt so much better when she answered the front door and he wrapped his arms around her, while Mick wrapped hers around Beth's leg.
They arrived at his place and he told her, "I already got dinner in the oven. Sit, relax while I clean up real quick."
When he came out of the bathroom she was sound asleep on the couch. It made him feel selfish. He wanted her there and that was all he'd thought about. He should have realized she'd be worn out from her first day back to work. He made up his mind, he would be more thoughtful with her, and they made no plan to see each other Tuesday.
None of them had a good day Tuesday or got much sleep that night. Wednesday rolled around and she'd asked him and Mick to her place for dinner. It was fine, and they were happy to see each-other and Mick was happy to see Beth. They were all happy to have a couple of hours to spend together, but it just didn't feel the same. Nothing felt quite right.
Thursday night he tried again, giving her the evening to rest. He promised they'd all feel better after a good night's sleep and that they'd have lots of fun together that weekend. Even he didn't believe his words.
It was sheer exhaustion that had him falling asleep at almost the same moment his head hit the pillow. But the sleep was not peaceful. He kept waking up from one bad dream and then falling into another.
He didn't usually recall dreaming at all, not unless they were the nightmares that came from time to time. The nightmares of being a young boy in that shack with a mean old man, an angry brother and a Mama with troubles of her own who'd left them way too soon.
These dreams were different though, even worse. Every dream had him losing Beth in some way. It was about three a.m. when he woke, used the bathroom and got himself a drink of water. He was surprised to find he felt headachy, he never got headaches. He chalked it up to the miserable, restless sleep he'd been getting that week.
He crawled back in his bed thinking if only he could sleep everything would be better. Stuff wouldn't be such a big deal. Yeah, that's all this was, lack of sleep.
But sleep didn't come right away, first he lay there thinking.
He had a realization. It occurred to him that before he met Beth he thought his life was just fine, and a lot of it had been. But he knew now how lonely he'd been. Raising Mick was the highlight and he wouldn't trade her for anything, but a child didn't fill the same place in man's heart that a woman did.
Those were the thoughts in his mind when he finally dozed back off and the dream that came next was like nothing he'd ever experienced. It was so real, and what happened shook him to his core. It would be the catalyst for what happened later that day.
His dream took place in the future, a year or so after the "incident." Except for the scar on her cheek a person would never guess Beth had been hurt. She was still as pretty as she'd always been, but everything else about her was also so different.
It was as if he were on the outside watching himself and Beth. He thought he looked meaner, harder, rougher, but what stunned him the most was the change he saw in her. It was like she'd lost all of her happiness, like it had been sucked out of her and replaced with sadness and disappointment.
This Beth wasn't at all like his Beth.
They were there at his house, Mick was in the backyard playing while he and Beth were in the living room, standing and talking. At first he couldn't make out the conversation, not until it turned so serious.
This "new" Beth seemed to be at the end of her rope, like she'd said the same thing a million times and she was too tired to go on. He wasn't really sure what it was, except he was sure whatever was wrong was his doing. He'd done this to her.
Her defeated look and the knowledge that it was his fault set him back on his heels, and the sound of her voice shook him. It seemed drained and laced with what he took as despair.
She laid it out for him in no uncertain terms. She told him she just couldn't do things his way anymore. She was sick and tired of him making excuses. She said she was tired of waiting for him to make the big promise to her. She said she wasn't waiting any longer.
At that point in his dream he realized, she was going to leave him.
He was so pigheaded that still he attempted to justify his actions. Even though he knew exactly what she meant he tried to get around the truth. He answered back trying to convince her, reminding her that he'd told her many times that he would always love her.
She seemed even more disappointed when she quietly and calmly informed him he was a liar. She'd waited a year while he acted like he was doing her a favor by not marrying her. He had the same excuse over and over, every time she tried to talk to him about it he'd tell her the same thing. He wasn't good enough.
In the meantime, while he kept making that same old excuse for not marrying her he was taking everything good she had to give. She was through, she was tired of waiting. If he loved her he would make an honest woman of her. It was now or never.
She looked down then and he worried she'd start to cry. She didn't.
He tried to reason with her. Once again he tried to make her see why it wasn't a good idea, but it was the same old argument she'd heard over and over. Still he tried.
He slipped a crooked finger under her chin nudging her face up so she had to meet his eyes again, and his eyes were fixed on hers. It was as if he were now scolding her as he half barked, "I want ya ta take a hard look at me Beth. Can't ya see, I'm nobody, nuthin. I ain't even got a high school diploma for crissake."
He was biting his lip as he looked down, slowly shaking his head "no." When he finally looked back up at her the expression on his face was so serious, but he knew she saw it there. It was behind his solemn look and the no-nonsense tone of his voice. It was the sadness in his eyes. "Dammit Beth. I ain't ever gonna be any more than what I am right now. Look at me, look at this place. Is this really all ya want?"
She had something she wanted to say about all that, but he wasn't done, "And what about Mick? Ya really willin' ta take that on? That ain't no part time deal, ya know that. It's full time and it'll be for a long damn time."
His face was right in her face and although he wasn't yelling at her, his voice was gruff and harsh sounding. He waved an arm around the room and said, "Look at this place dammit."
Where the nerve or the courage or whatever it was came from, she didn't give up like he wanted her to. She stood straighter, taller and looking right back in his eyes she got harsh herself, "You can't tell me what I want Daryl Dixon. I know what I want. I want you. I want Mick. That's everything I'm ever gonna want and everything I'm ever gonna need."
He wasn't backing down either. Not yet, "Ya say it's enough, but Beth, ya deserve so much more."
"I don't care about all that stuff you think I should care about Daryl. I've told you before, none of that stuff matters to me."
He was cradling her sweet face in his big rough hands when his voice got so quiet. The look in his eyes now seemed to be pleading and he asked, "But don't ya see Beth? It matters ta me. I need ta be able ta give ya that stuff."
Then she told him, "It's too late."
He woke in a sweat and lay there thinking about the dream, replaying it over and over in his head until it finally dawned on him what it was really about.
It was about him holding back on his love, denying happiness to her, to himself and to Mick. If he loved her then why did it matter if they'd only known each other a short time? Why did it matter what they owned? Why did he insist he knew better than her what she wanted? Why did he tell her over and over she was better off without him? Especially when she'd told him repeatedly he was everything she wanted?
The three of them had been so happy and now they were all miserable. It was on him. All he had to do was step up to the plate. Stop dwelling on what might go wrong and start making sure what was so good stayed good.
In his heart he knew the truth, of all the things in life that mattered to him, there was nothing that mattered more than this.
He practically jumped out of bed fueled by the energy of finally knowing what needed to be done. The bed was a mess and he was a mess, and it was going to be a busy day. He was ready for it.
He took a quick bath, dressed and then threw the sheets in the wash. He started cooking Mick's breakfast, keeping it simple. There were things to do.
After they'd eaten he cleaned the kitchen and put his sheets in the dryer, then he made a phone call. As soon as the call ended he went to the shop to talk to his brother. He explained to both Merle and Mick what was going on and what he hoped would happen.
They agreed the plan was perfect. Mick happily stayed with her Uncle Merle while her Daddy did the things he needed to do.
For the first time in years he went to a real barbershop. He didn't get his hair cut too short, he didn't think she'd want that. One night she'd told him how much she liked the softness of it, and he liked the feel of it when she slowly ran her fingers through it. He settled on a trim. He even got his facial hair trimmed.
From the barbershop he went to the JC Penney store and got what he needed there.
He had just one more stop to make.
He'd never been in a jewelry store. He'd never had a reason to be in one. This day he had what he was sure was the best damn reason ever.
He went back to his place with his purchases and by the time he got himself ready, everyone else was ready too. Maggie even had the clean sheets on the bed and a bouquet of flowers on the bedside table. They all wished him luck, Mick kissed him and said, "I love ya Daddy," and he was on his way.
He was nervous as he drove, his stomach in knots and perspiration on his brow. But none of it was because he had doubts about what he wanted or what he was about to do. His only concern was that she'd say "no."
He walked through the big double doors at the telephone company and politely told the woman at the desk he needed to speak with one of the employees, "Her name's Beth Greene and she's an operator."
The woman scoffed, "You can't just turn up here and ask to speak with an employee. Miss Greene is working, you'll have to wait until after work."
He wasn't there to be turned away, "Oh yeah? huh. Well I can't wait."
He pushed open the little gate and walked toward the back as the woman at the desk frantically called after him, "Sir, you can't go back there! Sir stop!"
The room had a huge panel of switchboards with one continuous desk, like a counter, that sat just below them. There was a long row of padded stools each with a woman sitting at it busily connecting and disconnecting the cables from the switchboard as lights blinked on and off.
He didn't see her right away and he called out, "Beth! Beth!"
She was all the way at the back of the row of operators but she heard him.
She stood at her station and called out her question, "Daryl? Daryl what's wrong?"
You would have thought they were the only two people in the room as he quickly made his way to her. His eyes were searching hers as he cupped her elbow and pleaded, "Come with me Beth. Marry me n come back home where ya belong."
He knew exactly what his plan was, he'd been thinking about it all morning, but this was the first she'd heard of it and everything seemed a little crazy. He was wearing a suit and his hair had been trimmed, he even smelled of Old Spice. All of it had her stunned, confused and wondering if she was losing her mind, "But Daryl I'm working and…"
"Ya ain't gotta worry bout that. Marry me an ya won't be workin'. Just say yes. We'll go right now."
Enid was grinning from ear to ear as she clutched Beth's hand and said, "Go Beth. Go with him and be happy."
Beth looked at him and asked, "You mean, right now? We're going to the courthouse right now and just…?"
"Yeah, if ya say yes."
"Yes."
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A/N Okay, all we have to do now is get them to the courthouse. Please leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. As always, there's a chapter photo on my tumblr blogs, gneebee and bethymethbrick. Next chapter we'll see how it all comes together for our little family. Until then, thank you so much and remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee