Ch 3. Desperate
Flashback
One year ago.
Kate
In a small flat in the outskirts of Sydney.
The furniture was of a cheap kind and the flat consisted of a bedroom, a bathroom a kitchen and a living room. Decorations were nil except for a few photo's of a Navy vessel and some crew members.
Kate was slumped in the couch and stared blankly at the television that broadcasting a talk show. On the coffee table stood an empty bottle of wine and an almost empty one in the middle of a lot of used tissues. Her hair was uncombed and her clothes had known better days, a worn out jeans and one of the grey Navy T-shirts. Her red puffy eyes were in contrast with her pale skin.
"ffstupid ffshow!", she slurred and bent forward to take a gulp from the glass.
She leaned back in the couch and closed her eyes.
Everything is stupid! You in the first place, because you're useless. You can't keep anything. You lost your job and you can't find a good one. What I'm doing now is really crap! I'm doing this stupid cleaning job already for a month and I'm not the wiser. Moreover, nobody needs you. You can't even build a relationship. You tried twice with Mike and each time he ran away. You wanted a child with him and you discovered that he has a grown-up son with Maxine. Jeez is she so much better than you? And when you're finally pregnant with his, you didn't dare to tell him and you were not even able to keep it. You're a useless chicken!
With eyes full of tears, she grabbed the bottle, carried it to her mouth and emptied it in one gulp.
"Who caresfff? Fftwo bo…bottlesf. It doesfffn't matter anymore and I don't givvvve a fdamn! They can sssuck it!", she slurred out loud as she stood up .
She staggered into the bedroom pulling out the T-shirt that she dropped on the bed. Then she wanted to take off her jeans but had to do it twice because she fell heavily against the wardrobe. Angrily Kate threw her jeans at the far end of the room.
"Ffffucking troussssersss!", she slurred.
She opened the door of her wardrobe and took out her white service dress. She put it carefully on the bed and went back to the wardrobe to take her white Navy shoes at the bottom. She put them next to the bed and finally she grabbed her hat from the sliding drawer of the wardrobe.
She knotted her hair with big difficulties, next while swaying back and forth she worked hard to put on her uniform and stumbled to the dressing. She pulled open a drawer and took the medal bar which she fixed to her uniform. She staggered to the wardrobe and grabbed the sword that she had received as a reward at the ADFA. She put it on the bed and grabbed a notepad and a pen. Kate scribbled on it : 'Waste of money!' and put the piece of paper next to the sword.
She scribbled another paper 'Bye-bye world, you finally got rid of me!' and she put it also on the bed.
Next she pulled open another drawer and rummaged around in it.
"Crap, no white ssssocks anymore", she grumbled. She shrugged, "Pfft, it really doesssssn't matter anymore", she said uninterested and she slipped barefoot in her white shoes and tried to tie them, but she gave up after a few attempts. Finally she put her hat on and walked to the nightstand. She bent over, opened the drawer and grabbed a little gun with a small calibre .22. Kate loaded the gun and went to the mirror of her wardrobe. She stopped in front of it and looked at her own pale appearance with her puffy eyes. She shook her head slowly.
"It came to no..nothing at all Kate, nnnnnothing! You've worked hard to get out of the missssery and you seemed to be happy, a command, a relationship, a baby, some savings, but this isn't working for you anymore. Everything has gone in no time. What's left for me now? Nothing! Why would I continue this life? I've tried and it came to nothing.
Farewell Katherine!", she said as she put the barrel of the gun against her temple. She squeezed her eyes and started to sob, leaning her head.
Kate pulled the trigger.
Her body fell on the ground.
To be continued