Ch. 13 It could have been better
Kate
A couple of hours earlier.
Kate entered her house, put the sports bag on the floor and looked at her reflection in the big mirror that was hanging in the entrance hall. She looked at her white figure, complete with medals and hat.
"This was it Katherine!", she said taking off her hat and then putting it on the shelf. Next the unbuttoned her white jacket and hung it up on a hanger.
Kate walked to the couch, plopped down on it and stared outside with hunched shoulders. She untied her laces, removed her white shoes and socks and put the latter in her shoes. Then she raised her legs and wrapped her arms around them and let her chin rest on her knees, staring outside.
I still can't believe it! I can't catch it. I was aiming at a promotion, a command and now I've got nothing! Now I wish I could be able to start again as a simple navigator!
Her eyes became moist again and she blinked.
Bloody emotions!
She whipped her head towards the kitchen and stood up. Kate went there and grabbed a tissue to wipe her eyes. Then she opened the fridge to take a bottle of wine. She froze on the spot the bottle in hand.
You're pregnant. Thus no alcohol!
Disppointed, she put the bottle back in place by making a face and grabbed the brick of orange juice which was close by. She poured herself a glass, padded to the couch and sat down. She took a few sips and stared outside again.
Tonight there's a drink, a farewell drink. I ought to be there too because it's also for me and I ought to do it for the crew as well.
But then they'll offer me wine or that killer of Guava Mojo and that's exactly what I may not drink. When I'm going to refuse and ask for juice, then they will know immediately. Then they'll ask a lot of questions about the father's identity. Nasty! Even Mike who doesn't know it will think that the baby is from someone else. Jeez! Moreover when I'll see all these faces for the last time, I'm not sure to be able to hold back my tears.
No! The best solution is not to go.
Kate stood up, grabbed her shoes and walked to her bedroom. She dropped the socks in the laundry bin, grabbed a box from her wardrobe to put away her white shoes and she put the box back in place with a wry smile.
Bye bye shoes. I'll never wear this kind of shoes in civvies, they'll be a memory of the past.
She undressed and walked to the bathroom to have a shower.
Afterwards she entered the kitchen dressed in a cotton dress and prepared her meal.
When she turned on the television she was just in time to see the news. The reporter announced the arrival of the last patrol boat before the surveillance of the coastline was transmitted to the coast guard. She saw the images of the Hammersley mooring and recognized herself on deck. The following images showed the crew leaving the ship with a few interviews, and all of a sudden she felt a shiver going down her spine. Kate saw herself and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Oh my god! What do I look like? I'm just good to throw away", she mumbled.
She looked at her own interview and made a face.
"Hmm, that wasn't a great show either! You could have done better Kate!", she muttered.
Her phone rang and, surprisingly, she noticed Nikki's name on the screen.
Is this a coincidence?
"Kate speaking", she said while answering the call.
"Hey Kate, it's me. Finally we've got a contact", Nikki said.
"Yeah, you can say it. It's been a couple of years since we run one after another", Kate replied.
"Indeed, I'm sorry for that, but we were always at sea and you… no our sailing schedules weren't in sync with each other", said Nikki realising that mentioning Kate's relationship wasn't the best introductions.
"Yes, sorry for that too", Kate replied.
"Kate, it's terrible. I've just seen you on TV", Nikki said hurtfully.
"Hmm, I can't say that it was a great performance", Kate grumbled.
"Tell me, is that really true? Have you been fired?", she asked incredulously.
"Yes, it's true. Today … it was my last … day", Kate croaked a lump in her throat.
"Oh no, not you! Why? Did something happen?", Nikki asked upset.
"No, nothing. They just don't need me anymore", Kate replied as her voice faltered.
"And Mike?"
"He? He stays employed, of course", Kate replied irritated.
"Uh? Of course? And you? You have as much credibility as him?", Nikki replied angrily about the unfairness towards her friend.
"Maxine White is on his side, that says enough, no?", Kate grumbled.
"Ah? Uh, I think that you haven't told me everything yet", Nikki said unsure.
"Hmm, I'll do it but not now, another day. I'm not in the mood actually", Kate replied to evade the question.
"Are all of you fired?"
"Nope, Ryan stays, of course and Bird too", Kate replied tiredly.
"Kate, I'm missing quite some info. What's special about them?", Nikki asked frowning.
"Ryan is Maxine's son and Bird is his girlfriend. Cristal clear, no?", Kate said rolling her eyes.
"Uh, almost. But what's the link between Mike and Maxine then?", Nikki asked innocently.
Kate sighed. "I didn't want to tell it now, but it looks like that we're at a point that I've to say it. Ryan is Mike's son", she said dryly.
"Uh? What?! You're kidding!", Nikki exclaimed.
"I'm not in the mood for kidding!", she snapped.
"Jeez! But, Ryan is approximately 20, how … and when did he…?", Nikki stammered trying to get the picture.
"Mike and Maxine were friends and 20 years ago, in the absence of her husband and after a night of drinking, they made love completely drunk. I've always hoped it was only once! It happened that time", Kate told utterly dejected.
"Married?! How did they got away with it?", Nikki replied.
"I don't know, but she did. The fact is, Mike never knew it and her husband always thought Ryan was his son. In the meantime they divorced. But a year ago everything has surfaced. Her ex-husband suffered from a bone disease and needed a bone marrow transplant. Ryan and Mike took the tests to see who could help him. Ryan was not compatible with his father but well with Mike. And Mike reaped a nice black eye", Kate said tiredly.
"You've never told me that", Nikki said baffled.
"What did you expect? Embarrassing huh. Dreaming that you can start from scratch with someone and then you discover he has a grown up son", she said hurtfully.
"Hmm, now I can picture it", Nikki said.
"This big blond guy also stayed employed, Dutchy if I well understood,?", Nikki tried.
"Yes," Kate sighed, "They probably needed a real Rambo. They don't grow on trees actually. I hope that he's not going to do foolish things!".
Nikki could feel some regret and joy in her friend's voice.
"And how does it work with Mike?", she asked not really knowing what to expect.
"Me and Mike?", she taunted, "I don't know Nik. Do you know that he didn't say anything about my dismissal? Just like it was completely normal!", Kate spat it out painfully.
"Ah, uh. But there's something that I don't understand. You've said that you don't know, but what do you mean with that? You are a couple, aren't you?", Nikki stammered.
"I thought so, but Mister Flynn has apparently some other ideas about that. He just didn't say literally 'I don't want you anymore'.
"Ouch, how's that possible? So all of a sudden? I have a hard time keeping up", Nikki said baffled.
"Neither do I", Kate grumbled in response.
"And how are you doing?", Kate asked quickly to avoid further questions about her failed relationship.
"Ah me?! Well uh… I'm fine", Nikki said.
"Nik! The tone of your answer tells me something else. Are you ok? You're not fired either, I hope?", Kate asked worried.
"No no, I'm still employed", she replied in a hurry.
"Nik, I feel like you're hiding something. Come on, what's up? Are you still the navigator?", Kate asked sternly.
Nikki smiled.
That's the Kate I know. Stern but caring for the people she loves. You really can't get around her.
"Well, actually not anymore. I'm now the XO of the HMAS Sydney", she said ill-at-ease.
"Ah! That's good, but, then you must have had a promotion?", Kate asked suspiciously.
"Uh, yes I'm now lieutenant-commander", she replied uneasy.
There was a heavy silence on the phone as if Kate had been hit by a freight train.
Her stomach shrank and a lump formed in her throat.
"Kate?", Nikki asked.
"Oh Nikki, I'm happy for you, really. You deserve it", Kate croaked and she couldn't prevent from tears that popped up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry Kate, I didn't want to tell that", she said unhappily.
"Why shouldn't you? This is great news. Congratulations!", Kate said trying to stay strong.
"Thank you. But we need to catch up urgently, not?", Nikki replied.
"Sure Nik, sure, although I don't know when because I'm standing in front of a big black hole with too much uncertainties. I really don't know what the future holds for me. Let's say that I'll contact you when I got a new job, within two weeks I think", Kate said lighthearted.
"Well, sounds good. Then I leave you now", Nikki replied.
"Yeah, ok, thanks for calling".
Kate closed the call and put her mobile on the coffee table. She covered her face with both hands and cried her eyes out.
"Why me?! Why me for God's sake! Couldn't I ever have a little luck goddamn?!
I knew it, I knew that my career was going to end here as soon as I set my foot on that bloody gangplank of Hammersley. I wish I had never been sent on the patrol boats!
Nikki?
Am I jealous of her?
No! She deserves it", she sobbed.
A bit later, Kate leaned exhausted against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling.
I've been unfair to Nikki. I lied when she asked if there was anything. I said no, whereas it's the opposite. I could have talked to her about Mike and the baby, but I couldn't. Why? I don't know. Shame probably.
New tears started to roll.
I've been also unfair to Dylan. I ran away without saying a word while he was so kind to me. I couldn't either. If I had done that, I'm sure that I would have burst into tears. And that in front of the entire crew and the press? Oh no!
I wish he was here now. He's the only one, except for Nikki of course, with whom I can be myself,. I need a hug, strong arms to shelter me there, some nice crap words that will not be that bad. I've to get that out of my head. If it wasn't Mike, then it was him.
Would he have the guts to come to my house now to see why I didn't go to the drink?
She spent the rest of the evening preparing a curriculum vitae and watching TV sitting on the couch. She was not at all aware that a tall blond man was hesitant in front of her doorstep. If she had known she would have dragged him inside to have company and share the evening with a good friend…
To be continued