Prompt: Dawson's Creek quote, from the episode "Castaways"
Joey: You were wanting to kiss me all night?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: Even when you were yelling at me.
Pacey: Especially when I was yelling at you.
Joey: So... is this... some sort of... recent new development in your life?
Pacey: Wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always there... like... white noise, or... the secret service or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just somethin' you get used to.
White Noise
Hogwarts, Fall Term, September 1977
The second prefects' meeting of the year had gone pretty well, James thought – with a few, minor issues.
Issue the first: Lily hadn't let him speak more than five words during the meeting. In fact, she'd basically pretended he didn't exist, except when he arrived three minutes late and she'd noted that Quidditch Captain and Head Boy might be too many responsibilities for one person to handle. She'd also made sure to remind him during the meeting that the out-of-bounds areas were out of bounds to him just as much as the rest of the students. So, right.
Just minor wrinkles that he was sure they could iron out before the next meeting.
Except it was hard to smooth things over when he had no idea what he'd done to piss her off so thoroughly in the first place (issue #2). He'd actually gone out of his way to be polite and professional in the two weeks they'd been back at school. No jinxing Slytherins, no pranks on Filch, and definitely no requests to her for dates. He hadn't teased her at all, nor joked about Remus' time of the month, nor bragged about his wand skills or anything else she might think was immature. He'd been nothing but utterly well-behaved, especially where she was concerned. So what was her problem?
The prefects left the meeting room, and James turned to Lily with a scowl.
"Evans," he said, his voice tight, "might I have a word?"
"I'd rather you didn't."
"Apologies, I didn't mean for it to sound like a request," he growled through clenched teeth. "Evans, I need to talk to you. Now."
Lily rolled her eyes. Without a word, she grabbed her bag from where it was hanging on the back of her chair and exited the room with her chin in the air.
With a sigh that came out like a snarl, James stalked after her in the direction of Gryffindor tower. With his long legs, he caught up with her quickly and kept pace with her as she hurried through the corridors back toward their dormitories.
"You can't get rid of me," he said testily. "And you can't ignore me forever."
She scoffed and refused to look at him as she answered. "Right. Because you've got a lock on ignoring people, is that it?"
James' tugged his hair in frustration. "What're you talking about?"
"Nothing," Lily grumbled. She picked up her pace and reached the portrait hole two steps ahead of him. She muttered the password and climbed quickly through the hole, then tried to shut the portrait in James' face.
"Oh, that's mature!" he cried. "I live here, too!"
"More's the pity." Lily turned and marched across the common room and up the special staircase to the Head dormitories. She glanced over her shoulder and huffed out an angry breath. "Don't follow me!"
James ignored her, stomping up the stairs right behind her. "I'm not letting this go!"
"Of course not, you stubborn mule! You started it, and you'll be the one to finish it, too, right?"
"Started what? I'm just trying to do my job! I'm as much in charge of the prefects as you. We're co-Heads, you can't keep talking down to me like I'm beneath you, or pretending I don't exist. We're partners."
Lily whirled around, hands on her hips. Her mouth was open, her retort probably on the tip of her tongue, but instead of speaking she blinked and sucked in a sharp breath. Apparently startled at finding him so close behind her, her green eyes went wide and her lashes fluttered as she scanned his face. But she recovered quickly and leaned forward, her jaw set and her nose in the air, her face barely a foot away from his.
Subconsciously, James wet his bottom lip.
Her eyes widened again. "What?" she demanded, taking a step back.
James stepped back, too. "What do you mean, what?" he snapped, just as flustered as she was. "Just what I've said—we're equal partners in this. You can't ignore me."
"Oh, well—right." She shook her head as she regained the thread of the conversation. "Well, it doesn't feel like we're partners lately, feels like you don't want to be around me any more than I want to be around you!"
James flinched. That stung a bit. He didn't think she hated him, but her behavior today was raising some doubts. And of course he wanted to be around her, that was part of why it was important for him to do a good job as Head Boy. To spend as much time with Lily as possible. To see her smile and make her proud. Didn't she know that?
He buried a hand in his hair. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Just leave me alone, James. Same as you've been doing all year."
She turned away, but James reached for her shoulder and tugged gently, spinning her back to face him. "Hold on, now, you're not making any sense! What's going on? Are you all right, Evans?"
"I'm fine," Lily said, shaking her shoulder from his grasp and crossing her arms over her chest. Her expression was defiant, despite the pink rising in her cheeks. "I'm just getting used to these new boundaries you've set between us, that's all. It's smart really, if a bit unexpected."
"Boundaries?" James looked shocked. "You mean, because I've stopped playing pranks and I'm actually trying to be a proper leader for the prefects?"
"It's not just with the prefects, James!" Her eyebrows rose up her forehead and she spread her hands in dismay. "It's with me! It's like we're not even friends! You don't joke with me or compete with me in lessons anymore. You barely talk to me at all! But then sometimes…" she trailed off.
"What do you mean, 'we're not friends'? I'm trying to be friendly! And sometimes what?" James sounded completely bewildered.
"Nothing. Nevermind."
"Evans." James spoke sharply to hide his nervousness. "Sometimes. What."
She lifted her chin again. "Sometimes it seems like you don't want to be my friend at all, but then, suddenly, you look like you're two seconds from snogging me. The way you looked a few minutes ago."
"Oh." James' hand jumped to his hair, and he took a step back. "Sorry."
Lily bit her bottom lip and held James' gaze. "So…you were?"
"Two seconds from snogging you? No." James looked away, then back into Lily's eyes. "I mean, I wouldn't have done," he clarified. "But did I think about it? Sure." He lowered his eyes once more. "Been thinking about it all day."
"You have?"
"C'mon, Evans." James sighed and mussed his hair again. "Is that really a surprise?"
"Yes! No. I don't know." Lily shook her head. "You've been wanting to kiss me all day?"
James gave a quick nod. "Yes."
"Even when you were yelling at me?"
He chuckled ruefully. "Especially when I was yelling at you."
Lily's eyebrows drew together. "So...is this some sort of recent new development in your life?"
"Wanting to kiss you?" James shrugged, and one side of his mouth curved up just a bit. "Nah. It's sort of always there, like white noise, or...the secret service, or the threat of nuclear war, for that matter. Just something you get used to."
"The threat of nuclear war? That's always in the back of your mind?"
"I listen to a fair bit of Muggle news on the wireless. Apparently we've got a huge problem with Russia these days."
"Oh. Right." Lily twisted her hands together. "I guess I just thought you were over this—over...me." She nearly whispered the last word.
James rolled his eyes. "Just because a bloke quits chasing after you and acts like he's got some bloody pride for a few weeks."
"I don't need you to chase me," Lily said, bristling, "but it went from that to—well, it seemed like you didn't even care to speak to me at all, except about prefect business."
"Oh, is that what you're on about?" James sighed with relief, his crooked grin spreading across his face. "I just wanted to show you I could take this job seriously, you know? I thought I'd just piss you off if I joked around like we used to. But trust me, Evans, I always want to talk to you. I want to be in your life as much as you'll let me."
Lily's cheeks flushed deeper red, but there was a hint of hope alongside the skepticism in her eyes. "Yeah?"
"Of course."
"Okay." She poked his upper arm and gave him a tentative smile. "Then maybe you could get back to treating me normal, all right?"
"All right," James agreed, grinning back at her. "In that case, I look forward to destroying you during our DADA practical this week. Expect an absolute thrashing. Your dueling skills are nothing compared to mine. In fact, if you need some help with your wandwork, I'd be happy to give you some pointers—"
Lily's laughter interrupted him. "Oh, you wish, Potter. I'll wipe the floor with you."
James laughed, too, and offered a quick retort. He never would have expected Lily to basically demand his friendship, but she'd always been full of surprises. And he was glad for it.
Because even if he never got the kiss he daydreamed about, Lily's voice, her laughter, their banter – it was so much more than white noise to him.
If anything, it was his favorite song.
...
AN: I know, i know, it's suuuuuper cheesy! But I hope you enjoyed this sappy little fic. Feel free to leave any reviews, they're always appreciated!
