I do not own the show GRAVITY FALLS or any of the characters; both are the property of the Walt Disney Company and of Alex Hirsch. I make no money from these stories but write just for fun and in the hope that other fans enjoy reading them. I will ask, please, do not copy my stories elsewhere on the Internet. I work hard on these, and they mean a lot to me. Thank you.
Yes. Yes, I Do
(August 31, 2017)
1: Parental Advice
9:00 AM: The Pines family sat in Grunkle Stan's living room. On the coffee table lay a scatter of photos and memorabilia and four of Mabel's scrapbooks. Dipper and Mabel had been talking for the best part of an hour. When they had finished, Alex and Wanda Pines stared at each other, and then stared at the twins.
"Is—is all this true?" Mrs. Pines asked of the whole room. She looked stunned and a bit appalled.
Grunkle Ford—if anyone could reassure her, it was Grunkle Ford—said in his warmest tones, "Yes, Wanda, I assure you and Alex that every word you just heard is true. You've seen a little of the strangeness of Gravity Falls. The Gnomes, a Manotaur, I believe, and Stanley says you once glimpsed a Pteranodon."
"I thought it was a big kite," Wanda murmured "Something that huge could have snatched them right up—"
"Nah," Stan said with a grin. "They're big, but those dinos can't hold up anything as heavy as a human being for very long. Pig, maybe. They're only a nuisance."
"We're used to them, really," Lorena said. "If you keep your pets inside during twilight, there's nothing to worry about."
Sheila added, "And if they get out of hand, we can deal with them. In California, hey, you have to worry about earthquakes!"
"But actual living dinosaurs—if we'd known this back then—" Wanda began.
Her husband squeezed her hand. "We would have let you come up when you were ten, not twelve! You've had so many adventures—it's wonderful!" He was absolutely beaming. Well—he was a Pines by birth, not by marriage, Dipper reflected.
"And we saved he world!" Mabel said. "No kidding. All of us together, Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford, Wendy, Soos, Dipper a little, and of course me. Mabel."
This time Wanda's lips moved, but she couldn't even form the question.
"Come on," Stan urged. "Don't you think I could be trusted to take care of these knuckleheads? Although from time to time, I gotta admit, they took care of me!"
"Very true," Ford said. "And Mabel is correct. Together we defeated something—well, you couldn't even imagine it, but it was a potential disaster of cataclysmic proportions."
"Now, I've got to say—" Wanda began.
"Mom," Dipper said quietly but with great confidence, "thanks, but in this case, we're the ones giving the advice. Now that it's our birthday, Mabel and I agreed it was time you learned everything."
"Thanks, son," his dad said. "We appreciate that. And if we seem a little surprised, well, don't let that bother you. We're really proud of you both."
Mrs. Pines seemed to take her husband's cue and even smiled, though it was sort of a sickish smile. "Oh, well—I—I'm really glad that they're going off to college and getting away from—I mean—unless—Uncle Ford that college isn't as, um—"
"As weird as this town, you mean? No. It's not at all strange," Ford said, smiling. "You have to understand that some places on Earth just attract weirdness. Gravity Falls has one of the strongest weirdness magnets anywhere. The next strongest may be in Indiana. Of course, I'm told that a certain section of Transylvania might be the Falls' equal."
"But people live in all of those places," Stan said. "They get along. They cope. And Gravity Falls is a real nice town, if you don't mind the odd talkin' mouse or zombie shuffling around."
"Zombie?" squeaked Mrs. Pines.
"Pfbbt! They're not a problem," Mabel said. Dipper, me, and Grunkle Stan can make their heads explode just by singing harmony."
"I believe you, Sweetie," her dad said.
Dipper shrugged. "Well, there it is, Mom and Dad. Mabel and I wanted you to know everything. We're tired of keeping it all such a big secret."
"Yeah," Mabel said, speaking mostly to their father. "But we're eighteen now, so we're not asking your permission, but just telling you. We're gonna come back here to work in the Shack every summer while we're in college. And we want you guys to visit here on Thanksgiving so the whole family can be together. And in December, Dipper and Wendy are gonna have their real wedding—"
"Hey," Dipper objected.
"—well, their church service, anyway, here in town, and you gotta be here to give Dipper away—"
"Doesn't work that way, Sis."
"Whatever, Brobro! To be the father and mother of the groom, then."
When Wanda still looked stressed, Stanley said, "I guarantee their safety. And yours. You just gotta get used to the place, is all."
"My brother is right," Ford said. "This whole Valley is worthy of deep study. Its mysteries have only begun to be explored. And I know Mason and Mabel well enough to assure you that if they run across any supernatural threats, yes, there is danger. For the supernatural threats, that is. Together these two can do anything."
"I wouldn't have gone out for track in high school if it hadn't been for Wendy," Dipper said. "I wanted to be worthy of her. Meeting her here and getting to know her was the best thing that ever happened to me."
"And the reason I got to be good in art," Mabel said, "was that I got so much practice drawing pictures of all the wonderful things we met here."
A small voice cleared its throat. "Could I add something?"
Everyone looked around in surprise, and then looked down, still in surprise. Jeff the Gnome stood there, just inside the doorway. Gnomes can be as silent as ghosts when they want to be, and no one, not even Ford, knows how they can slip into rooms that have no visible means of entry.
Stan chuckled. "Alex, Wanda, you've seen this little guy before. I don't know if you've been formally introduced, though. This here is Jeff. He's the President of the Gravity Falls Gnomes."
"Prime Minister," Jeff corrected, holding his forefinger in the air. "Our government doesn't have a president."
"Yeah, well, you're better off that way," Stan said. "Anyhow, you know this is Dipper's and Mabel's mom and dad, Wanda and Alex. Welcome, by the way, just make yourself at home. That's not an invitation to live here. What did you want to tell them?"
Jeff took off his conical red cap, looking like a third-grader suddenly called up in front of the class to explain the Pythagorean Theorem. "Well—all right, when we Gnomes first met Mabel, we liked her a lot, first blow off the mallet. We even thought she'd be a great Queen—we were ruled by Queens back then. But—well, long story brief, she just blew us away. In the years since then, and this is no lie, my people would have died out if not for Mabel and Dipper. No, really. But they helped us out in so many ways—gave us a way to earn food for the cold months, gave us a way to make homes to keep the frost out, and we—we owe these two everything. On behalf of the creatures of Gravity Falls—don't be mad at Mabel and Dipper, please. Be proud of them." He fished out a handkerchief—a human one, he could have used it as a sheet—and honked his nose. Then he bowed, put his cap on, and vanished.
"Toldja," Stan said. "Nobody invited Jeff, that's on his own hook, but what he said is a hundred per cent probably true. Magic creatures, yeah, we got 'em. Except they're not so different from you and me. And Jeff's right. My opinion, the summer they first came up, this town was on the edge of goin' completely nuts. These two—we call 'em the Mystery Twins—investigated all kindsa things most people were scared of. More often than not, they made friends with the monsters and the monsters turned out to be just people inside. I dunno about the world, but Dip and Mabel made Gravity Falls a better place."
"Gravity Falls has become part of our lives," Dipper said.
"And we've become part of Gravity Falls! Hey-O!" Mabel added.
"Well," Alex said, his voice calm and his expression pleased. "Thank you both for telling us these things. This is a lot to think about, but if you're asking our—"
Dipper saw the word permission forming on his mother's lips—
"—our blessing," Alex said firmly, "why, of course you've got it."
For a moment, Wanda Pines sat stiffly, but then she nodded and smiled.
"Thanks, Dad. Mom," Dipper said. "I'm glad you understand."
Wanda held out her hands and her children came to her. "You think you're so special," she teased, shaking her head. "Very well. We'll surprise you. We'll get used to all this quicker than you think. Alex—do you think I should tell them the whole thing?"
"Mm, today's going to be busy," Alex said. "Maybe at Thanksgiving."
"Yes. That will be better."
"Tell us what?" Mabel asked.
Wanda touched her daughter's cheek. "Nothing much. Just a story from when Alex and I were in college. We had to work together once to do something very, very difficult."
"What?" Mabel asked. "Tell us now!"
"Later," Wanda insisted firmly. "It's a long story—the tale of how Alex and I had to fight off Bloody Mary!"