A/N: This took a month and a half to write. It's such a relief to have it posted.
Written for Sapphic Season on HPFC using the prompt "love potion". Also written for Hogwarts Challenges and Assignments Assignment 4: Ancient Studies task 2 - write about someone under the effects of a love potion.
Warning: Love potions are treated like something akin to a date rape drug in the story, but no rape happens. Daphne identifies as a lesbian but is made to like a guy through the potion, which may be triggering for some people. Astoria, in particular, shows some signs of anxiety.
Word count: 7,147
Daphne couldn't stop smiling as she shoveled scrambled eggs into her mouth. Sundays were her favourite day of the week. While her roommates were scrambling to get their homework done before Monday, Daphne could sneak away, making excuses that she wanted to study alone, and no one would suspect her true intentions: to meet Susan Bones.
She and Susan had been dating for six months, but Sundays were the only days they really got to see each other. One day, Daphne knew they'd have to tell everyone the truth, but for the moment, only Astoria and Hannah Abbott knew, and Daphne was okay with that.
Someone sliding onto the bench across from her caught Daphne's attention. She looked up to find Gregory Goyle piling sausages and bacon onto an empty plate after not bothering with a greeting of any kind.
Daphne scowled. On a good day, she forgot that Goyle existed, but she'd never held any particular ill will towards him until the night before when a group of seventh year boys had snuck firewhisky into the Slytherin dungeons for a party.
It had been fun drinking and laughing with her friends until Goyle had saddled up to her and refused to leave her alone no matter how many times she told him she wasn't interested.
So, she wasn't happy to have him sitting across from her with neither his friends nor hers in sight.
"Haven't I told you to fuck off enough, Goyle?" Daphne snapped at him.
He didn't glance up from his plate as he added a large scoop of baked beans.
"I'm only eating breakfast," he said, scowling as if he was confused about the venom in her voice. "Something wrong?"
Daphne huffed and began shoveling eggs into her mouth even faster than before. The quicker she got away from him the better. Once she was in her and Susan's meeting place, he wouldn't find her again.
She didn't glance up at him anymore as she ate, determined to ignore him even if he wouldn't ignore her. She finished off her food and chugged the rest of her pumpkin juice.
But just as she was gathering up her things to go, a strange feeling washed over her. It wasn't unlike the eagerness she'd felt over seeing Susan minutes before except now it was urging her to stay at the table.
She turned to Goyle, who was watching her with a wrinkle in his brow. He looked entirely different than he had before, though Daphne couldn't detect what the difference was. His features hadn't changed, but it was as if something about her had. She'd been so rude to him during the party and even earlier during breakfast. The poor guy didn't have many friends. Everyone knew Malfoy only kept him around to feel superior, and Crabbe couldn't have been quality company. Daphne shouldn't have been hard on him. Anyone in his position would want a bit of positive attention for a change.
"I'm so sorry," she blurted out, her cheeks warming at the thought of her previous behavior.
How could he still be speaking to her after she'd treated him like dirt?
"What I said last night was incredibly rude," she continued. "You didn't deserve it. Is there a way I can make it up to you?"
She leaned over the table, needing to be close to him. Perhaps that would show him how genuine her apology was.
He beamed at her, a new sense of confidence in his features that did wonders for him. If he always looked like that, he'd have far more friends. She wondered if there was a way to tell him that without it sounding like an insult. She wanted him to know that countless people would like him if they only took the time to know him.
Before Goyle could answer, Astoria dropped herself unceremoniously on the bench next to her sister.
"Daphne? Is everything okay?"
The younger girl eyed Goyle distrustfully, and Goyle looked back at her with an almost hostile expression. Daphne frowned. They could be the best of friends if they gave each other a chance, she was sure of it.
"Of course," she said to Astoria, a large smile reinforcing her words. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Astoria eyed Goyle again as if that alone was enough to answer the question. None of the plentiful breakfast foods in front of her held any interest.
"You're just acting a bit strangely," she said, glancing between Daphne and Goyle.
Daphne shrugged.
"It's Sunday. Sundays are my favourite day of the week."
Astoria raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, but you usually spend them in different company," Astoria said, tilting her head to the side.
Daphne deflated as she remembered her plans to meet up with Susan. Those had felt like such great plans at the time, but she realized now that she spent every Sunday with Susan. Perhaps that was a bit too much. They should have other people in their lives. Goyle was likely planning to spend his Sunday alone or being bossed around by Malfoy. He deserved some nice company once in a while.
Daphne's time would be much better spent with him.
"Sometimes it's good to mix things up," she said, smiling at Goyle and ignoring her sister's scowl. "I was going to go for a walk on the grounds. Do you want to join me?"
Goyle smirked at Astoria before he returned Daphne's smile.
"Course," he replied, puffing out his chest.
Daphne smiled brightly as he followed her out of the hall, her sister's reaction already forgotten.
Astoria's arms pumped at her sides as she hurried to the sixth floor. She knew exactly where Daphne usually met Susan, and she'd never needed to talk to her sister's girlfriend as urgently as she did at that moment.
She and Susan weren't friends by any stretch of the imagination. Daphne had introduced them hoping they'd form some kind of relationship, but those hopes hadn't panned out like she'd wanted. Astoria had never felt completely comfortable around the Hufflepuff. She'd never befriended someone from another house, and the Bones were one of the most self-righteous families she knew of. Everyone said so.
Rounding a corner, she caught sight of Susan leaning against the wall. The corridor itself was full of shadows, tucked away as it was from Hogwarts' usual hustle and bustle. Susan eyed Astoria as she approached, not completely sure of her identity until she was close.
"Astoria?" she asked, her voice rising anxiously. "What are you doing here? Where's Daphne?"
Astoria bit her lip, an unladylike habit her parents had long criticized her for. She'd gotten so good at not doing it, but stressful situations always brought it back.
"Goyle sat beside her at breakfast, and I think he slipped something in her drink."
Susan's brow furrowed, and she pushed herself off the wall.
"What do you mean? Slipped what in her drink?"
Astoria took a deep breath. Saying it out loud made bile sting at the back of her throat so it was difficult to speak.
"She was acting weird. Suddenly, she liked Goyle even though she was telling him off just yesterday. I think… I think he gave her a love potion."
Susan's disgusted face would have been amusing under different circumstances.
"Goyle," she muttered to herself before speaking louder to Astoria. "He's friends with Malfoy. Can't you talk to him?"
Astoria gasped and backed up several steps, waving her hands frantically in front of her.
"Ask Draco? Oh, no. I, uh…"
She stopped when she saw the strange look on Susan's face. Clearing her throat, she did her best to compose herself.
"He makes me nervous," she admitted with her gaze on the floor.
A slight laugh made her look at Susan again only to find the girl smiling kindly at her.
"If that's the case, then maybe this is a great excuse for you to talk to him," she said.
Astoria found herself smiling back in spite of herself.
"Maybe," she admitted with an uncomfortable shrug. "But I doubt he knows anything. If he did, why would he have let Goyle give it to her?"
Susan's answering grimace was enough of an answer. Astoria wasn't naive. She realized that Susan had a very different view of Draco than Astoria did, but Astoria was sure that he'd never let Goyle give her sister a love potion. Susan was right; she'd have to talk to him. If anyone could put Goyle in his place, it was Draco.
"I'll talk to him," Astoria promised, filled with a new sense of purpose now that she'd discovered a way to help her sister.
"Thank you," Susan said with a smile, even as she fiddled nervously with the necklace around her neck. "Let me know how it goes?"
Astoria nodded and offered Susan a little wave as she left in the direction of the Slytherin dungeons.
Perhaps she'd been too hard on the Hufflepuff before. She'd have to give her another chance.
Daphne couldn't stop watching Goyle as they strolled across the grounds. Nothing happening inside her mind quite made sense.
For years, she had struggled over the question of whether or not she was gay. She had spent an endless amount of time obsessing over it, time that she would never get back. Finally being confident that she was a lesbian had been a relief that grounded her and allowed her to finally feel like herself. It had made the past couple of years the best of her life so far, even as Britain teetered on the edge of chaos.
But since breakfast, her mind had felt foggy and uncertain again. Each time she looked at Goyle, she was warm inside. There was an intensity to it that she'd never felt when looking at anyone before, not even Susan, and that made her uncomfortable. After all, she'd been increasingly certain that she was in love with Susan, but what if she wasn't?
She'd never been attracted to a man before. There had been a few boys she'd thought she liked, but in hindsight, that had only been the wishful thinking of a fearful child who didn't want to be gay.
Perhaps more importantly, her aversion towards Goyle had been far stronger than just not finding him attractive. She'd found him outright atrocious just the day before, but the more she looked at him, the less she understood why that mattered.
Maybe she didn't understand exactly what was happening in her own head, but unlike when she was younger, that didn't alarm her. The longer they walked together, the more convinced she was that she should stop worrying and just let herself feel.
By the time they made it to a thicket of trees in a secluded part of the grounds—a place she and Susan had spent plenty of time, Daphne couldn't help but note to herself—Daphne was grinning and had decided not to bother with explanations for what was happening.
Goyle smiled back at her before leaning closer. He was inches from her lips when Daphne's stomach twisted in an unpleasant way. She stepped back from him, her eyes wide.
Not even she understood her actions. There was Susan, yes, but that hadn't been what flashed through her mind. One second, she had felt warm and tingly; the next, she'd felt cold and tense.
With Goyle a safe distance away, however, the warmth returned, and Daphne Daphne smiled at him in apology for her rash actions.
She had irritated him. She saw it on his face, and the thought of having caused him discomfort was painful. Reaching forward, she grasped his forearm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
He opened his mouth—likely to ask for an explanation that Daphne couldn't give—only to be interrupted by the sound of footsteps rustling the grass as someone ran towards them.
Daphne let her hand grasping his arm fall as Susan appeared from between two trees in the thicket. Her shoulders slumped as she reached the couple, her chest heaving from exertion. Her cheeks were flushed in the same way they always were after snogging, and the memory of her lips on Susan's left Daphne flushed. It was very different from how it had felt to when Goyle had been about to kiss her.
It was strange to be reminded of her attraction to Susan with Goyle standing beside her. There was no denying that the two of them were polar opposites. Her confusion returned as she sized them up. Daphne felt a pleasant buzz when she was with Goyle that she wanted to maintain, but the fire that ignited in her stomach when she looked at Susan was something else. Daphne couldn't reconcile the two feelings with each other.
"Bones?" Goyle sneered, taking a step closer to Daphne and dropping a heavy arm over her shoulders. "What are you doing here? Get lost."
Susan made no move to leave. She hardly acknowledged Goyle as her gaze zeroed in on Daphne and the arm that held her in place.
"Did I interrupt something, Daphne?" she asked with faux innocence.
Though Daphne could easily see through Susan's facade, Goyle couldn't read her like Daphne could.
"As a matter of fact—"
"I've never seen the two of you together before," Susan noted as if Goyle hadn't begun to speak. "Actually, didn't Greengrass call you an obtuse triangle in Charms the other day, Goyle? What changed?"
Goyle clenched his fists and took a threatening step towards Susan, inadvertently dragging Daphne with him. Susan's eyes narrowed at the move. Though she was acting as if they hardly knew each other, Daphne couldn't help but react to Susan's presence, her heartbeat racing as Susan got closer.
"None of your business," Goyle growled.
He tried to step between the two girls while not letting go of Daphne, but Susan was faster. She maneuvered until she was directly in front of the other girl, clearly not speaking to Goyle. Daphne sucked in a sharp breath, her entire body stiff as Susan observed her. As close as she was, Goyle couldn't see much of her face, and for the first time, Daphne saw the sadness in her eyes.
"Hmm," Susan hummed, her gaze hardening as her face slipped into a carefully controlled mask. "Did you know that Potions is my best subject, Goyle?"
She turned to look at him slowly, the picture of confidence.
"The unfocused gaze," she said, pointing at Daphne's eyes. "The lazy smile."
She moved quickly to Daphne's side, and Daphne, overwhelmed with the sudden movement, felt herself sway, the weight of Goyle's arm the only thing that kept her upright.
"The lack of coordination," Susan said with a frown. "Those are all textbook side effects of love potions."
A love potion?
Daphne might have been confused about what was happening in her head, but she would never accuse Goyle of such egregious behavior. He cared about her too much to do something like that. Whatever was happening between them, she was sure it was genuine, even if it was unexpected.
Before she could formulate her thoughts into words through the fog in her brain, however, Goyle had come to his own defence.
"Go away, Bones, before I do you in."
Susan listened this time, backing away from Daphne without taking her eyes off Goyle. As she went, she spoke to Daphne in a low voice.
"Daphne, come with me. I'll take you to Pomfrey. Or Slughorn. Anyone you want who can give you an antidote."
Goyle growled again and lunged at Susan. It took all of Daphne's strength to reach for his arm. He froze at her touch, and Daphne smiled. If she had that kind of effect on him, her own feelings couldn't be the result of a potion.
She looked back at Susan, already forgetting the rush of fear she'd felt in the split second she thought Goyle might harm her.
"I'm fine, Susan. You have nothing to worry about."
Susan hesitated, looking between Goyle and Daphne, but came to the conclusion that it was useless to argue farther. She hurried back up to the castle, throwing several looks over her shoulder as she went. Daphne watched until she was out of sight, ignoring Goyle's breath on her cheek.
The second she glanced at him, he leaned in to kiss her, but Daphne sidestepped it, letting his arm fall from around her shoulders. She laughed uncomfortably, looking at the grass.
"Wasn't that kind of a mood killer to you?" she asked, lifting her gaze to look at him through her eyelashes. "Maybe later."
He huffed at her words, but it was a far cry from how he'd growled at Susan. Daphne beamed back.
She took his hand and began leading him back to the castle, humming contently to herself as they went.
Astoria's legs trembled as she approached Draco in the common room. He was lounging in a chair while absentmindedly twirling his wand between his fingers. He looked positively bored. He also looked as attractive as always. Astoria took a deep breath, her usual preparation for talking to Draco. He had a way of making her flustered, but she had come with a purpose, and she wouldn't let herself be sidetracked.
"Astoria," Draco greeted, an enchanting smile on his lips. "It's nice to see you. Please, take a seat."
Astoria did as instructed, perching on a velvet green chair across from Draco.
The common room was mostly empty, which Astoria was thankful for. Talking about such a subject with Draco was embarrassing enough. She didn't want any eavesdroppers who would spread nasty rumors.
"I need to talk to you about something important."
Her voice was weaker than she wished it was, and she inwardly cursed herself for not being a forceful person. She didn't like confrontation. It made her nauseous. She clenched her hands in her lap and willed herself to power through it.
After all, this wasn't really a confrontation. It was Goyle she was accusing of wrongdoing, not Draco.
"Something important?" Draco asked, raising one eyebrow.
The hand that had been twirling his wand fell to the armrest of the chair as his fingers tightened around the wand.
"What could that be?" he asked.
It was now or never. Astoria flew through what she wanted to say with unprecedented speed.
"Do you know of any plans Goyle had to slip Daphne a love potion? Because she started acting weird at breakfast after he approached her. Other people said they think it's a love potion too. It's not just me."
Draco stared at her as he digested what she'd said. Suddenly, he laughed, making Astoria shrink back in her chair. Her fists clenched tighter in her lap.
"Did he really?" Draco asked, leaning forward with sparkling eyes. "I was teasing him just the other day about never having a girlfriend, but I didn't think he'd actually do anything about it. Poor lad tries, but you can't blame girls for not being particularly interested, even with his family name. He didn't tell me about any love potion though."
He lounged against the back of the sofa, raising another eyebrow at Astoria's stiff posture and clenched jaw.
"What?" he asked defensively. "I know she's your sister, but Goyle's only having a bit of fun. There's no harm done. Eventually, he'll run out of potion or get bored. Then Daphne can go back to dating whoever she likes."
There were a million things running through Astoria's mind. She wanted to describe for Draco the complete and utter terror she felt at the idea of being manipulated in such a way, of having no control over her actions.
But her fear was so great that she couldn't even mention it out loud, let alone describe it in detail. Especially not if Draco was going to tease her about being uptight.
Instead, she went for another tactic. The only one that she felt Draco might agree to.
"Please, can you just help me find the antidote?" she asked. "Love potions are usually sold with one, right? Goyle must have it up in your room. We both know he didn't brew the potion himself."
Draco snorted at the mention of Goyle's poor potion-making abilities. It was enough to make him forget how tense Astoria had been a moment before.
"Is that really necessary?" he asked. "The potion will wear off on its own soon anyway. Why spoil Goyle's fun early?"
Astoria took a long, shaky breath before asking him the question that scared her more than anything.
"Would you give a girl a love potion, Draco?"
Draco laughed, the sound grating against Astoria's ears in a way it never had before.
"I wouldn't need to," he boasted.
Astoria's previous reluctance around conflict faded with his answer. She was so furious that she could hardly see straight.
"That's not a good enough answer," she snapped.
Standing with haste, she hurried out of the common room. No matter what his connections, Astoria wasn't sure she wanted Draco's help getting the antidote anymore anyway.
Susan's heart raced as she stood outside Slughorn's office. Having dropped Potions after O.W.L.s, she hardly knew the new-but-old Hogwarts Potions professor. He had approached her once about joining his strange Slug Club because of her aunt, but Susan had gotten out of it. Hopefully whatever admiration he felt towards her aunt would be enough for him to offer her help when she needed it.
She only had to wait a few moments after her knock for Slughorn to open the door, a large smile on his face when he saw her.
"Miss Bones!" he exclaimed. "How delightful to see you! To what do I owe this pleasure?"
Susan hesitated, not sure if she wanted to go through niceties before getting to her request. The urgency surged through her veins.
"I need help, Professor. Gregory Goyle slipped Daphne Greengrass a love potion. Surely, you have an antidote."
Slughorn looked at her in surprise for a moment before chuckling to himself. Susan's stomach twisted.
"Ahh," Slughorn said, stepping aside to let Susan into his office.
She followed him, her eyes scanning the shelves that we cluttered with photos of people she assumed her former students. Some of them were even in black and white.
"To be young and naive again," Slughorn mused to himself as he rummaged around in a cabinet. "I can give you the antidote of course, though I'm sure it would wear off on its own in good time."
Susan narrowed her eyes at his back. She knew better than to talk back to a teacher, but she couldn't help herself.
"With all due respect, sir, I don't think Daphne wants to sit around and wait for it to wear off. Goyle could do anything while she's...like that."
Slughorn paused, glancing over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. He turned back to the closet without saying a word and finally found the vial he was looking for. He handed it to Susan, his expression a bit more serious than before.
"I assure you, Miss Bones, that love potions have their fair share of limitations. They create infatuation, yes, but the person remains in control of their own actions at the end of the day."
Susan's hand tightened around the vial of the antidote.
"I saw Daphne," she bit out, no longer worried about how polite she sounded. "That wasn't her. She's not herself. She can't make decisions right now."
Slughorn sighed and sat on the edge of his desk.
"Many teenagers experiment with love potions at your age. They all decide, sooner or later, that they're not worth it. The effects are too fleeting, and they're never what the user actually wants. You can warn kids all you like, but they always believe that they'll be the first to find true love from a potion. They never are of course, but telling them that beforehand is pointless. They have to try before they'll believe it."
"That doesn't make me feel better, Professor."
Slughorn gave her a small, muted smile.
"Perhaps not, Miss Bones, but it's still true."
Susan didn't look at the professor as she stored the antidote carefully in her bag, making sure it wouldn't knock against anything that might break it. A million thoughts ran through her mind, and despite her anger, she took her time choosing which one she wanted to say.
"I think they should be illegal."
There, she'd said it. Quietly but firmly.
"No one should be allowed to have that much control over a person," she continued. "It's worse than Veritaserum, I think."
Slughorn laughed. Though Susan could tell that he didn't mean for it to be rude, she grimaced at it nonetheless.
"We'll have to agree to disagree on that, Miss Bones."
Susan didn't return his smile.
"Yes, I guess we will, sir."
Without another word, she left Slughorn behind to find Daphne as quickly as she could.
Astoria noticed Goyle the second he entered the common room. She sunk low in her chair, raising the book she was reading in a fruitless attempt to hide her face. She peeked over it as Goyle began heading in her direction. He sat down across from her with better posture than she'd ever seen him possess. She glared back at him.
"What do you want?" she snapped.
Her entire life, she'd tried to be polite to everyone. Sometimes being rude felt physically painful, a reminder of the punishments she'd received for it when younger, but Goyle didn't deserve her kindness. Of that she was certain. Even her parents would have agreed if they knew what he'd done.
"Just want to know where your sister is," Goyle said with a shrug.
Astoria resisted the urge to gag. It wouldn't do anyone any good.
"I don't know," she lied.
Daphne was definitely up in her dormitory. She'd passed Astoria on her way up there, but Goyle didn't need to know that. Even if the staircases were boy-proof, there would be nothing stopping him from lurking at the top of them until Daphne reappeared. Or from sending a scared student down to fetch her.
Goyle believed her easily, pouting at her answer, but he didn't leave like Astoria wished he would. Instead, he took to staring at the door to the common room as if he hoped to see Daphne appear through it right that second. Astoria watched him for a moment before blurting out the question that had been on her mind.
"Why'd you slip Daphne the potion?"
It wasn't that she thought her sister was undeserving of admiration. She just needed to know what had made her the victim of such an unfortunate situation. Perhaps what Astoria really wanted to know was how to avoid it happening to herself in the future.
Goyle was taken aback by the question. He stared at her blankly before shrugging.
"Actually," he said, "you're prettier than her, but you're Draco's, so…"
He trailed off with a shrug as if he'd fully explained himself.
Astoria swallowed against the bile rising in her throat. Her head spun.
She wanted to tell him that she wasn't Draco's. That she wasn't anyone's. She wanted to explain to him how disgusted she was with him.
But she couldn't do any of that. She couldn't do anything except stare at him as if he were an alien, while he relaxed on the couch without a care in the world.
Her ringing ears prevented her from hearing Draco approach until he sat down directly next to her on the couch, making her jump a mile high.
Draco raised an eyebrow but didn't question her when she relaxed a second later and did her best to pretend that nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
She was expecting him to ignore her in favour of striking up a conversation with Goyle. Instead, he slipped his hand into hers and used it to tug her to her feet.
"Let's go for a walk," he suggested, already heading for the door without looking back at Goyle.
Astoria followed him without argument.
She was still angry at him, but if it was a choice between Goyle or him, she was undoubtedly choosing him. The second they were in the corridor, she could breathe again. Draco stopped walking and turned to look at her, his hand still in hers.
"What's wrong? You look as if you've seen a Dementor."
Astoria's eyes flickered to the floor as Goyle's words ran through her mind. She didn't want to repeat them, but she also desperately wanted Draco to know. Why she wanted him to, she didn't know. He was likely to dismiss her fears all over again.
"Goyle said he would have given me the love potion, not Daphne, if it weren't for you."
Draco stared at her for a long time before cursing under his breath.
"The bastard," he declared, his hand going for his pocket. "I'll curse him."
He pulled out his wand and turned back to the common room door, only making it a few steps before Astoria stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Why?" she asked. "You were completely fine with the love potion when it was Daphne. Why should this be any different?"
Draco turned back towards her slowly, his brow furrowed as he considered his response. Astoria didn't wait for it.
"Just come on," she said, not waiting for him as she set off down the corridor. "I don't want to go back in there."
Daphne was too caught up in her thoughts as she ascended the stairs to the common room to notice Goyle sitting by the fire. She'd made it halfway to the door before he appeared in front of her, his eyes eager and a grin on his lips.
The change in Daphne was instantaneous. Her thoughts that had previously been a swirling mess, dissipated as she smiled back at Goyle. A strange peace washed over her even as part of her mind whispered that she'd been thinking about something important before.
"Where are you going?" Goyle asked, his voice higher than normal.
Daphne blinked several times, struggling to recall what she'd been doing mere seconds before.
"Just for a walk," she said. "I want to think about some things."
For some reason, Goyle's brow furrowed at that, but he didn't drop his smile.
"Let me come with you. It's getting late. A gorgeous girl like you shouldn't be walking around by herself."
Daphne frowned for a split second, long enough that Goyle raised his eyebrows.
"It's only four in the afternoon," she pointed out. But her smile was quickly back. "Of course you can come. Whether I need protection or not, I'd love to have you with me."
Goyle brightened and held out his arm for Daphne to take.
All of her previous thoughts, the ones she'd been going on the walk to sort through, were gone. As they left the common room, all she could think about was Goyle.
Susan was breathing heavily by the time she made it to the dungeons. The vial of antidote repeatedly hit her leg where it sat in her bag as she went, but she didn't mind. It was a good reminder that it was there and that she was close to freeing Daphne from Goyle's enthrallment.
It wasn't until she was in the dungeons that she remembered she didn't know the exact location of the Slytherin common room. She and Daphne had been so careful about keeping their relationship a secret that they had never met there. All she knew was the general direction after seeing Slytherins appear from there over the years.
She went in that direction, hoping she would find hints that she was on the right path.
Luckily, she didn't have to wait long before Astoria and Draco Malfoy appeared from the direction she was heading. Susan ignored Draco as she zeroed in on Astoria.
The younger girl's eyes grew wide as Susan approached, her gaze flickering between Susan and the boy beside her in alarm.
"Bones," Draco sneered as she approached. "What are you doing down here?"
Susan ignored the question as she tugged the vial from her pocket and brandished it at Astoria.
"Slughorn gave me the antidote. Where is Daphne?"
Astoria gaped at her for a moment, unable to respond, before she motioned over her shoulder.
"She was in her dormitory the last I knew. She has to still be in the common room."
Susan pushed past her despite still not knowing where the common room actually was or how to get inside.
Vaguely, she heard Draco shouting behind her, demanding to know what she was doing, but Susan ignored him. Eventually, he quieted, probably because of Astoria. But if the two Slytherins followed her, Susan didn't have time to notice as she pushed forward in what she hoped was the right direction.
Daphne hadn't had a direction when she'd set off for her walk. What she'd wanted was time to think away from her gossiping roommates who had returned. Her plans had only gone as far as walking aimlessly around the castle until she found somewhere secluded enough to settle down.
Goyle has interrupted those plans. She led him towards the stairs up to the entrance hall for lack of a better direction to take. It didn't seem to bother Goyle, who was paying far more attention to her than where they were going.
The attention was flattering but also distracting. Daphne didn't know what to do with it. She enjoyed it, but she wasn't sure what more he wanted from her or how much she was willing to give him.
They hadn't made it very far when Goyle placed his hand against Daphne's back, sending a chill down her spine.
She smiled at him. It was exciting to receive this kind of attention, but there was something missing from his touch. It was different than what Daphne had experienced with Susan, but her mind kept telling her how much she should be enjoying it, and it was hard to argue with her own emotions. She'd told herself to stop doubting herself after years of struggling with her sexuality.
Yes, having feelings for a boy after years of struggling over not having them was surprising. But who was she to continue making things difficult for herself when they should be straightforward?
The fact that she was with Susan and anything that might happen between her and Goyle would be cheating didn't cross her mind. It was as if her brain had forgotten that piece of information entirely.
So, when Goyle's hand dipped lower, down to where it wasn't polite to touch in company, she let him.
Not even she and Susan had dared do something like that in a place where anyone could walk by. The risk had been too great, but Goyle was unafraid of anyone seeing them, something that was startlingly clear as his hand moved lower. If anyone saw them, they'd have no doubts about what he was doing.
A sudden sense of fear rushed through Daphne. She knocked away his arm, and it was only because she'd surprised him that she succeeded in getting him off her.
"Not here," she urged, looking frantically around to make sure no one had seen them.
It was difficult as two parts of her warred with each other. One wanted Goyle to touch her. The other part couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, though she couldn't figure out what that was.
Goyle's brow furrowed as if he couldn't make sense of her reaction. Daphne felt a twinge of fear as he prepared to speak, but she pushed it away. This was Goyle; he would never hurt her or push her.
"You love me, don't you?" he asked, his eyes widening as he became vulnerable with her.
Daphne's heart hurt when she saw the way he looked at her. He was right; she did love him.
How could she say no to him when he made her feel higher than she'd ever been before? It wasn't fair to him. He deserved everything she could give to him.
She held his gaze as she stepped forward. Placing a hand to his chest, she felt his heartbeat stutter and smiled. Their lips were inches from each other when Susan flew around a corner, out of breath and with a vial clutched in her hand.
Daphne flew away from Goyle, shocked by the sudden appearance of her girlfriend. She gawked at Susan as the Hufflepuff hunched over, sucking in deep breaths. Her usually pale skin was flushed bright red from exertion.
"Bones?" Goyle snapped, his demeanor changing like a switch had been flipped. "What the hell is your kind doing down here?"
Susan couldn't answer at first. She was too busy sucking in oxygen. Instead, she lifted her hand holding the vial and waved it through the air.
Daphne frowned at it. She hadn't taken N.E.W.T.-level potions, and whatever Susan was holding was unfamiliar to her. But Goyle had a different reaction. He rushed forward to grab it from her, but Susan was quicker. She held it to her chest, and Goyle froze, apparently not keen to grab at her there. He glanced back at Daphne as if she might accuse him of impropriety.
But Daphne was having trouble thinking much of anything. With both Susan and Goyle in front of her once more, she was confused again. All of her feelings for Susan rushed to the forefront of her mind as she stared at her. She wanted to check on her after she'd clearly exerted herself too much, but she also wanted to calm Goyle. Nothing she did would satisfy her heart.
"Slughorn gave me a love potion antidote," Susan said between gasps. "Even he thinks that's what Goyle did to you, Daphne."
Daphne stared back at Susan. It just didn't make sense that Goyle would do something like that. He loved her too much. Sure, Slughorn was a Potions Master, but that didn't mean he was incapable of mistakes. He hadn't even seen her.
Before she could respond, Goyle was in front of her, clutching her shoulders and blocking her view of Susan.
"You know it's not true," he said. "I'd never do something like that to you. What you feel for me is real."
Daphne smiled up at him, thankful for the reassurance. But he wasn't finished.
"Why would you trust a Hufflepuff over me?"
Daphne blinked and leaned around Goyle to look at Susan, who was staring back with true fear in her eyes. The look struck something in Daphne that had been quieted.
Susan hadn't been just a "Hufflepuff" to her in a long time, not that Goyle was aware of it. Susan wasn't asking her to trust a Hufflepuff; she was asking Daphne to trust her, the person who knew Daphne better than anyone else. Not even Astoria held as many of Daphne's secrets as Susan did.
Susan's breathing had almost returned to normal. She stood up straight, keeping her eyes fixed on Daphne as if Goyle wasn't standing between them.
"If he hasn't given you a love potion, then the antidote won't have any effect. Why would he be so against you taking it if it wouldn't do anything?"
It was true. There was a simple logic there that Daphne couldn't resist. Perhaps because something deep inside her still knew something wasn't right.
She looked up at Goyle and gave him a comforting smile.
"I should take it," she said, trying to ignore the storm of emotions on his face. "Nothing will happen, and then she'll have no choice but to leave us alone."
She made to step around him, but Goyle grabbed onto her upper arms and gripped tightly.
"Don't you trust me?" he asked, anger in his voice that he hadn't directed at her before. At least not since Daphne had realized he loved her.
A shiver of fear ran down her spine at the question. She felt strongly for him, that much was true, but she wanted to take the antidote. Maybe it was a test of sorts, but at that moment, she wanted him to pass it.
"Of course," she said, swallowing down her anxiety. "This is just for Susan."
Goyle balled his hands into fists as Daphne pushed past him.
Susan held out the antidote, her hand shaking in anticipation. She didn't take her eyes off Daphne as the she tilted the vial back and downed it in one gulp.
The change was instantaneous. Everything she'd felt for Goyle disappeared, replaced with the disgust she'd long felt.
She stared at Susan, who gave her a hesitant smile. Daphne did her best to smile back as shame overwhelmed her. There would have to be apologies later for what she'd done, but for the moment, she needed to focus on someone else.
Spinning around to face Goyle, she swallowed back her nausea. He'd never been more revolting to her.
He glowered at her, more than aware of what effect the antidote had had on her.
"You absolute piece of shit," Daphne snapped, her voice eerily low.
He rolled his eyes.
"Get over yourself, Greengrass. It's not my fault you don't know how to check your pumpkin juice for potions."
"You fucking asshole," was her only response.
Her anger was blinding. She couldn't find it in her to explain why she was so disgusted with what he had done. All she wanted was for him to know how much she loathed him.
But her insults didn't have much effect. He was as unconcerned as he'd been before.
"Whatever," he said with a shrug. "I didn't get anything good out of it. Even under a love potion you're difficult, Greengrass."
Daphne backed away from him and accidentally stumbled into Susan, who caught her before she tumbled to the floor. She was grateful for the sudden physical support.
"Get away from me," she growled at Goyle.
Even as he stalked past, she didn't look at him. Susan's arms tightened around her as he neared and didn't let go until he disappeared.
Once she was sure he was gone, Daphne looked at Susan, for once not worried about who else might stumble upon them.
"I'm so sorry," she said, sobs wracking her body.
Susan shook her head rapidly, tears shining in her own eyes.
"No," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Don't say that. None of it was your fault."
Daphne cried and pressed her face into Susan's shoulder, grabbing a fistful of the other girl's robes to steady herself.
She didn't believe Susan, but she didn't have the energy to argue either. All she could do was press closer to Susan and try to forget.