Chapter 1: Loose Ends
Jeremiah Jones was depressed. In fact, he seemed to be entering a downward spiral. This was not really surprising. Although he had graduated from Roundview sixth form college with excellent 'A' level results, it was not felt that he was psychologically stable enough to go up to university. Not only that, but within the last few weeks, he had broken up with a girlfriend and lost both his closest friends in the college.
The break-up with the girlfriend was understandable. She was a single mother, and her former boyfriend was still in the vicinity. He was the father of her child, and still nursed a faint hope that she would take him back. She did.
The loss of his two closest friends was a more complex happening. All the way through secondary school, the three friends had been close. This worked well as the three of them couldn't be more different from each other. JJ himself suffered from a form of autism, which used to be called 'Asperger's Syndrome'. He was very intelligent, and possessed an enormous amount of trivial knowledge. However, if things seemed to be getting out of control, he would suffer a form of panic attack, and get, as his friend Freddie said, 'locked on'. Both Freddie and Cook became adept at calming these attacks and stabilising JJ's mood. He was under the care of a couple of doctors, his own GP and a specialist from the local psychiatric hospital, and was on a cocktail of about 21 different drugs. For this reason, he didn't indulge in any of the illegal substances circulating around Roundview at the time. He had also been advised not to enter into any kind of relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
Of his two friends, the one he trusted more was Freddie McClair. He was a calm, gentle, compassionate person, and seemed to be surrounded by an atmosphere of tranquility. He could read the signs of an impending panic attack, and keep JJ on an even keel. His other close friend, James Cook, on the other hand, had something of a mercurial personality, and a very short temper. He would frequently resort to violence to settle a dispute. However, he was also capable of calming JJ's panic attacks.
To lose one of these friends was bad enough, but to lose both, JJ found devastating. Earlier in the year, Cook had lost his temper and beaten up several people, including JJ leaving him with two black eyes. One of Cook's 'victims' decided to press a charge of assault occasioning actual bodily harm. Cook was arrested, charged, and detained in custody. He escaped, and spent the next few months on the run from the police. JJ had effectively lost him as a close friend. His other friend, Freddie, was in a close relationship with Effy Stonem. This would not have been a problem had Effy not been under the care of Dr John Foster, a psychiatric counsellor. Dr Foster had designs on Effy, and tried to manipulate her so that she would become dependent on him. Effy's mother tried to stop Dr Foster from seeing her daughter, and eventually sent Freddie McClair round to his house to persuade him to stop the consultations, with lethal results. Dr Foster bludgeoned Freddie to death with a baseball bat, and tried to conceal the evidence.
Freddie had said that he was going away for a few days to 'think about things', so his absence did not raise any eyebrows. However Cook was suspicious. During a party in the friends' usual venue, Freddie's shed, Cook thought he saw someone lurking in the garden and went to investigate. He surreptitiously followed the 'intruder' and ended up at Dr. Foster's house. He broke in, gained access to the basement and found Freddie's bloodstained clothes wrapped in plastic bags. Dr Foster found him, and confronted him with the bat. He had expected Cook to buckle under after being struck in the abdomen. However, he had reckoned without Cook's aggression and resilience. After accusing Dr. Foster of killing his best friend, he took action.
"I'm Cook!" yelled Cook, as he lunged forward at Dr Foster, taking possession of the baseball bat, and killing the doctor with it. Nobody crosses Cook when he is angry.
JJ had now lost both his close friends. Freddie was dead, and Cook was still on the run from the police, now facing a murder charge. Realising the seriousness of his situation, Cook handed himself in. After forensic investigations, the murder charge was dropped on the grounds of self-defence, but he would still have to face the ABH charge arising from the previous incident.
Losing his friends was bad enough, but it also coincided with the end of his formal secondary education. He was saying 'goodbye' to Roundview and all the other acquaintances he had there. He began to feel lonely. However, some of his time was taken up looking for a paid job. Fortunately, he was not unused to the work environment, as he had in the past worked alongside Freddie in a warehouse. However, he was now able to use his 'A' levels to obtain a job more suited to his abilities.
As regards his Asperger's syndrome, his parents changed his psychiatrist in the hope that the new one might improve his condition. The new counsellor talked with JJ a lot more, and appeared to be able to spend more time with him. He also reduced the cocktail of drugs to one, from the twenty or so different ones he had been taking, some of which cancelled each other out. He was also surprised by the prohibition of any form of social life recommended by the previous psychiatrist, although he didn't actually tell JJ that he could 'go wild' with his relationships.
Gradually, things did improve. His panic attacks reduced in frequency, and he seemed a little less agitated than previously. However, JJ sensed that something vital was missing from his life. Now he had left Roundview, he no longer had regular contact with the acquaintances he had met there. Obviously, he missed Freddie and Cook, but he had formed associations with Effy Stonem, the Fitch twins, Pandora Moon and Naomi Campbell. Although he found these girls attractive, he had not pursued relationships with any of them because of the advice from his previous psychiatrist. Now, he felt, it was too late to try to resume these acquaintanceships. The one relationship he had with a member of the opposite sex was doomed to failure from the start, as Lara Lloyd was still in a loose association with her previous boyfriend and the father of her child.
It had become obvious to his parents that he was entering into a deep depression. He hadn't smiled very often, but nowadays, it appeared that he had forgotten how to smile. His psychiatrist was reluctant to prescribe an antidepressant drug, as this could be seen as a start down the slippery slope of JJ once again taking multiple drugs.
oOo
At last, after police enquiries and the coroner's inquest, the day of Freddie's funeral arrived. The invited guests from JJ's generation included Naomi, Pandora, and both the Fitch twins as well as Effy Stonem, her brother and Freddie's sister Karen McClair. Thankfully, JJ managed to sit still and keep calm during the service and listened attentively to the eulogies. His demeanour was particularly solemn. This was understandable as he was attending the funeral of his very best friend.
At the wake, which followed the burial, the other guests did lighten up a bit, they were now celebrating his life, rather than mourning his loss. However, JJ remained unusually gloomy. When Emily asked him about his mood, he said that he could no longer see any brightness in the world. JJ was sitting in a corner, not talking to anyone, and nursing a lemonade. He was looking particularly depressed, and not taking part in the function, when he was approached by a very attractive girl who, surprisingly, although he had met her on a few occasions, she had never really 'registered' with him.
"You seem to be taking this far too seriously." said Karen, Freddie's sister, "It's not the end of the world, yet. I'm Karen, by the way. What's your name?"
JJ looked round, startled by this friendly approach.
"I'm Jonah Jeremiah Jones," said JJ "But Freddie and Cook always called me JJ. They were my only friends. I've lost both of them."
"Nice to meet you." said Karen, "I've heard such a lot about you from both Freddie and Cook. I think you need some TLC to cheer you up. Haven't you any girl friends?"
"No!" said JJ, very firmly, and with some bitterness, "My doctors said I shouldn't associate with girls."
"That seems rather harsh," said Karen, "And almost inhuman. I'm not surprised you're feeling down."
Karen's warm, friendly approach and her tender smile were beginning to have an effect on JJ's mood. He realised that, being Freddie's sister, she was even closer to Freddie than him, and it was obvious that she was not contemplating 'the end'. In fact, she seemed quite cheerful under the circumstances.
"I know I've met you," said JJ, "I don't really know you, but you do seem to be a gentle, sweet, understanding person."
"I'm Freddie's sister." said Karen, "Obviously, I'm quite sad because I miss him lots, but now the funeral's over, we're trying to celebrate his short life in the best way we can, so cheer up. The time for being a 'wet blanket' has passed."
Karen smiled at JJ. He could not account for the effect this had on him. He felt the warmth of her affection and began to smile.
"That's better." continued Karen, "I found losing my brother hard to accept, and it still hurts, but life has to go on, don't you think."
Karen gently put her arm across JJ's shoulders and gave him a friendly cuddle.
"I suppose so." said JJ, "But what is my life to you?"
"You're a human being, like the rest of us," said Karen, "And from what my Freddie's said about you, you're a lot more human than some people I could name."
"That sounds as if you'd like to get to know me." said JJ, "I'm flattered, but why?"
"From what I've been told," said Karen, "You're one of those rare people in the world who don't, or can't, hide their feelings and have to be open and honest about them. I like that. Anyway, would you like me to be your first new friend?"
"I think I would." said JJ, "Your smile just now gave me a kind of warm glow I've never felt before. I get the impression you care about me."
"It sounds as if I'm already doing you some good." said Karen, "I do care about you. I'm human as well, so let's go and have a drink."
JJ and Karen went over to the bar. Karen, after asking JJ if he was permitted alcohol, got him a beer. She got herself a sweet sherry. By this time, JJ was actually smiling. At the bar, they encountered Emily Fitch, who had previously failed to lift JJ's depression. She noted that JJ was actually smiling.
"Karen, you're a genius!" commented Emily, "How on earth did you do it?"
"I recognised him as one of Freddie's little trio." said Karen, "He looked in need of a bit of TLC, so I introduced myself. He seemed to respond to my smile."
"You must have a magic touch." said Emily, "He's been just about existing under a cloud of utter gloom ever since he realised Freddie was no more, but you've managed to pull him out of it in seconds. How did you do it?"
"I can only think it's because I have the same effect on him as Freddie." said Karen, "It must run in the family."
"And you're a wonderful, tranquil, calming person," cut in JJ, "Like Freddie himself."
"That was a lovely thing to remember about my brother." said Karen, "That's why we're here at the wake; to remember all the good and positive things about him, and celebrate his all too short life."
After encountering Emily at the bar, JJ introduced Karen to some other friends she hadn't already met, including Tony Stonem and Michelle, whom he knew through Effy. After this, they reoccupied their seats and continued to 'get to know each other. Karen told a fascinated JJ about her childhood and her life with Freddie. She also mentioned her mother's suicide and the profound effect it had on both of them. At one point, following her mother's suicide, Karen was so depressed that she was admitted to a psychiatric rehabilitation clinic. JJ now understood more fully why Freddie was so concerned when Effy went 'off the rails'. A concern, which was one of the factors leading up to his eventual murder.
After this, JJ related to Karen how he was discovered to be autistic, and the sequence of different doctors and psychiatrists he had experienced as a patient. He warned Karen about his moods, panic attacks and 'locked on' phases. These, surprisingly, didn't worry Karen, as Freddie had told her all about them. He went on to say that his new psychiatrist had reduced his medication to one tablet per day, and talked to him a lot more. Karen commented that his previous doctor's insistence that he avoid associations with girls probably created a lot of unnecessary stress, particularly as his peers all had girlfriends. He did say that during the time he spent going out with Lara Lloyd, against this advice, he did feel a lot calmer.
"Well, there you are, then." said Karen, "Female company is good for you. That, more than anything else is why we should be friends."
JJ felt a wave of warm tranquility and, yes, love wash over him. Here, by chance, on a very sad occasion, was a chink of light; a girl who was prepared to go out of her way to understand him, in spite of all his problems. He could also empathise with her as he had lost both his closest friends in quick succession, and she had lost both her mother and her brother. Here was the basis for a strong friendship. He could no longer resist the temptation to hold Karen's hand. It was plain that she appreciated this gesture.
For the next few months, JJ and Karen appeared to be an item. They went to social events, spent evenings in Karen's favourite bar, and went for long walks alone together. For the first time in his life, JJ felt serenely happy. It was, at last, looking as if he had the possibility of a brighter future.
Every silver lining carries a cloud, however. Although it had started well, the association between JJ and Karen, was not fated to last very long. Some months previously, Karen had taken part in a singing competition. Although she had not won, another record producer had heard her performance and was interested in engaging her. This of course, meant that in a few months, she would be moving away to London, and her promising relationship with JJ would have to come to an end. The couple made the most of their short time together until Karen's departure and, at the end said their regretful farewells.
Once again, JJ was on his own and once again he felt desperately lonely. If anything, this was worse than before, as he had known true happiness in the company of a really marvellous girl.