Note: This is based off a snippet I posted in 2015. Please, let me know what you think. To be continued in weekly installments. Thank you for reading + reviewing.
I
She watched them as they went about their lives and tried to imagine where they all might be headed. There was a frazzled looking woman who dragged an impudent young toddler after her. They locked eyes, and Bella stuck her tongue out at him. He returned the gesture happily, sticking his tongue out at his mother all the way to their gate. She chuckled to herself and kept watching. She waited at the baggage claim with a mill of other travelers who were probably all hoping their bags hadn't been misplaced with every passing second along with her. It took five more minutes. An elderly woman crossed in front of her to grab up a floral suitcase, her husband helping her lift it up from the conveyor belt. Bella eyed her dull green canvas bag coming down her way, and she stepped past the couple to snatch it up by its handles. The familiar weight of it was comforting and helped to settle all the complimentary soda she'd downed on the five hour plane ride.
She followed the signs, and the stream of other people to the main exit. They were just the people who had been on the plane with her, the airport was smaller than the one she'd come from in Phoenix. A lot smaller Bella noted as she narrowly avoided colliding with a family who'd stopped directly in front of the doors. She huffed but went silently around them, slipping one hand into the pocket of her coat as she pushed the door open with her hip. A scatter of cars were idling in the two lanes directly in front of the airport. Bella looked around. People were loading luggage into trunks, and driving away. The longer she stood there, the more curses she found she had for Dave. The third social worker to be assigned her case. He was new, to her anyway, and he'd come along after Gary had retired a few months ago. She'd liked Gary. He was elderly and always forgot Bella's name, but she'd liked him. It had been Dave's idea to relocate her from Arizona. She hated him for it. For all his ideas, and bright suggestions on her future.
"I hate the cold," Bella murmured under her breath, watching it swirl in a misty cloud in front of her face. The frigid air stung her cheeks and burned her lungs as she breathed it in. She waited ten minutes more, shivering and chattering. She had been about to go back inside the warmth of the airport to wait when they'd pulled into the lot. Most of the other cars had gone by then, and she heard them coming before she saw them. A squealing of tires, and a blast of music later they were bouncing to a stop in front of the doors a few feet away from where she stood. A second later the passenger door creaked open, and two thin legs emerged, followed by the frail form of a woman. She was petite, and so thin she looked sickly. She held a cigarette in one hand, and a piece of notebook paper in the other. She hollered something to the driver before she slammed the door shut with a grumble. She shook her head, and the short blonde hair on her head swayed. She held up the makeshift sign and leaned back against the truck, puffing her smoke.
Bella hoisted her duffel bag up onto her shoulder and resigned herself to her fate. She could barely make it out on the woman's paper, but the name was hers. Isabella, there written on the front in bright red pen. The woman gave her a look as she approached, dropping her cigarette onto the ground and stepping on it with her boot. "Hey," Bella slightly pointed to the sign that the other woman was now dangling loosely. "How are you?" She asked politely, trained from her years as an orphan. "I'm Bella," she reached her hand out for the other woman to take but all she got was another look. "Sarah," the small woman said, and moved past Bella's outstretched hand to open the back door of the truck. 'Ooookaaaay', Bella thought to herself as she dropped her hand slowly. She watched as Sarah scooted piles of trash from the backseat onto the floor of the truck. Empty cigarette packages, crushed beer cans, old fishing line, and an empty soda bottle all came tumbling down with two sweeps of Sarah's bony hands. She motioned for Bella to get in. "C'mon," she mumbled at her, "Got things to do." Like I wasn't the one waiting, Bella bit her tongue before she let herself say that though. She was cold, tired, and hungry, she also knew it wouldn't do to offend her new fosters on the first day either. Dave would have a stroke. "Thank you," she murmured as she slid past Sarah into the rusty old truck. Every movement brought a different crunch, and rustle as she slid her feet across all the debris. All the windows were rolled up except for the drivers window. Smoke permeated through the cab, and burned her eyes and lungs. He eyed her from behind the wheel, ignoring the open window, flicking his ash onto the gearshift instead. She met his glare in the rear view mirror and shuddered. Sarah slid back into the passengers seat, sliding through more empty containers on the floor in the front. "Hurry up," the man grunted. "Fuckin' freezing," he reached a large tanned hand to turn the heat up a notch. As soon as Sarah had slammed her door shut he reached down and shifted the truck into gear. Bella barely had time to find her seat belt before he was speeding out of the airport parking lot, and out onto a narrow highway road.
Away from the airport the landscape was blanketed in a fresh layer of pure white snow. "This is Buck," Sarah reached to turn down the heavy rock music that was coming from the speakers. The man introduced as Buck grumbled, and took a long drag from his cigarette. "Welcome to Alaska," Sarah chuckled dryly. "It'll warm up soon, but for now this is what we've got." Bella didn't interrupt her, and Sarah didn't look back to make sure Bella was listening. "We have one son, you'll meet him when we get home," she puffed her cigarette as she spoke. "Mike's his name. A good boy," she did turn then and gave Bella a long look. She shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the older woman's heavy gaze. "Only one high-school in this damn town," she continued finally averting her gaze, but still twisted around in the seat. Bella noted she hadn't bothered with her seat belt. "Central, it is. Me and Buck," she tilted her head his way. "Went there ourselves back in the day, if you can believe it," she offered the first smile Bella had seen from her then. She was missing a few teeth, but it did improve her looks a little. "Damn waste of time that shit was," Buck grumbled as he leaned to turn the music back up to a blast. Sarah looked a bit like she wanted to cry at that but she didn't- she just bit into her skinny bottom lip and turned back around in her seat.
She looked out of the window the rest of the way. The smoke from their cigarettes was thick and choking. She snuck the back window down a crack, praying they wouldn't say anything. Bella watched in awe as a beautiful landscape whizzed past her face. She tried to take it all in. The highway they'd been driving on since they left the airport was surrounded on both sides by a thick forest. Dense vegetation was everywhere. She could see signs posted along the highway warning of deer and bear crossings. Fresh snow covered it all- everything her eyes could see. They drove for a half an hour more with only the music to break the silence between them. Nothing she knew, really. Occasionally Buck would grunt at Sarah to light him a cigarette, but neither of them spoke to Bella again. She sat quietly in the back trying to take shallow breaths in from the crack in the window. Her hands were trembling with nerves so Bella shoved them under her thighs. 'You're fine,' she told herself over and over again.
"Hey," she was being roughly shaken awake. "Girl. Wake up. We're home." A hard poke came to her shoulder then and Bella's eyes snapped open. She could smell the stale smoke on Sarah's breath, the other woman was so close. "Sorry," Bella mumbled as she sat up rubbing at her eyes, blindly grabbing for her bag. "Come on," Sarah mumbled back at her leaving the truck door open for her to scramble out of. The trash on the floor shuffled about as she made her exit, making sure the door was completely shut behind her. Sarah hadn't waited for her either. She held her breath as she took in the lot they'd pulled into. The house was in a sorry state of disrepair from what she could see. A two story house that stood on top of a snow covered hill. It leaned heavily to one side in a way that Bella didn't think was quite safe. It may have once been a brilliant shade of white but now the panels were a dull yellow color. Bella walked slowly up the stone pathway to the wooden stairs that led to the deck. Her sneakers, and her socks were sopping wet by the time she stood at the front door. It had been left unlocked and she shyly crept inside.
Buck was sat on a long sofa that sunk down slightly in the middle. It was a light beige in color but she could see deep brown stains running along the cloth that covered it. He sat with yet another cigarette in his hand, a can of beer in the other. When she stepped inside she had stepped right in front of the television, and he spat his curses at her until she realized. She stepped shaken into the next room. Sarah was rummaging through the refrigerator when she entered, and stood up so quickly she almost banged her head on the top of it. "Jesus," she breathed as she pulled out a gallon of milk. "You scared me." Bella wanted to roll her eyes but she minded her manners. "I'm sorry," she said instead. Her bag was heavy with her possessions inside, the strap had begun to dig painfully into her shoulder. She shifted under the weight of it, and from the awkward tension that stood in the room between her and Sarah. She watched Sarah pour some milk into a pan on the stove. The kitchen beyond wasn't terribly nasty, but old dishes piled nearly out of the sink, and Bella could smell the molding food from where she stood near the doorway. After a moment Sarah glanced up from her cooking and truly looked at her, blinking harshly like she was only just now seeing Bella. The way she was looking at her seemed to ask why are you still here?
"Uhm," Bella used her free hand to tuck a lock of her unruly chestnut curls behind her ear. "Where do I sleep?" she finally spat the question out into the air awkwardly. Sarah shook herself. "Oh, right," she turned the heat down on the stove, and squeezed between Bella and the doorway. "Mike!" she yelled out. Only silence met her so she screamed the name again. Finally there was an answering "Yeah?" from up the stairs, and the sound of feet hitting the steps. "There you are," Sarah sighed exasperatedly as the teenage boy stepped into the kitchen. He eyed Bella as he slid past her. She awkwardly tried to slink back even farther against the door frame. "Is this her?" He asked, nodding his head in her direction. Bella bit down on her lip, and twisted her fingers together nervously. 'I hate this,' she thought as he took a good long look at her. He was taller than she was by about a foot. His face was an agitated shade of red, and covered in severe acne. A lock of damp blond hair fell into his eyes. "Of course that's her," Sarah snapped at her son. "Show her the room, please, Mike," she asked a bit softer while she stirred some noodles into the boiling pot of milk. "C'mon," he said to her as he came walking past. "Dinner will be done in a bit!" Sarah called to their backs.
She stayed quiet as he led her down the hallway away from his parents and toward the staircase. They'd covered the wooden steps with a long green rug that shifted beneath them as they climbed. She crept up after him, watching her feet. They reached the landing of the second floor and he gestured down the hall with a flick of his hand. "My room's down there," he told her. "My parents too. You best stay away from our stuff." She was was a little shocked at his words but she only nodded. "Yeah," she said softly. "Of course." 'I don't want anything you people have,' was what she thought. 'Quit it,' she told herself immediately after she'd thought it. She had expected Mike to lead her down the second floor hallway to her new bedroom but instead he pulled on a piece of string that hung down from the ceiling. He struggled a bit but he got the stairway down eventually. "You're up here," he announced, breathing heavier than he had been a minute before. She peered up into the darkness that had been opened up before her. "Oh," she whispered, trying to push away the tight ringlet of fear that had encircled her heart. She began to say something else but Mike was already turning away and heading back down the hall towards his bedroom. "Make sure you pull the stairs up behind you, Kay'?" he tossed over his shoulder.
You can be brave, she told herself as she took the first step. The staircase was long enough, and the way was black in front of her. She could not even see her hand when she reached to find a rail and found none. Maybe. She continued to move her trembling legs though. She wanted to squeeze her eyes shut tight but she didn't think she could bare that. You're fine, she told herself until she stood at the top of the shaking stairway. There was a window at the end of the small space, and she rushed towards it to yank open the curtains. Daylight filled the room and Bella found she could breathe again. The shadows were gone, and so were her fears. She stood there, taking it in. It wasn't much but it was enough. It was a room that began high, and ended lower at the corners; Bella didn't need to hunch her shoulders though. The roof and walls looked like wood around her, rustic and true. She ran the tip of her finger across a smooth board. There was a bed, it was small but it looked like heaven to her. There were no sheets to be found but there was a royal blue comforter that looked thick and cozy. She lay her duffel by the pillow, and turned to find a small section spaced off behind a curtain. There was a bathtub, and a toilet there. There was a mirror hung upon the wall next to them and she stepped near to look at herself. Dark brown eyes greeted her gaze. She looked tired. She ran some water from the tub and splashed it against her face, it ran cool down her cheeks. She sat on the edge of the tub and tried her best not to cry. She squeezed the tub with her fingers and bent in on herself laying her head on her knees. Bella didn't want to be here. She had no home to miss yet she knew she wanted to go back there. She missed the warmth, and the feel of her city. She missed her coffee shop hangout, and her old school, and the few companions she'd managed to find in it's halls. I don't even know what I did to make them send me away, Bella sobbed once then. Only once and then she pulled it together and patted her face dry with the sleeves of her jacket. She pushed the thick white curtain back and moved underneath. She grabbed her bag and took it near the small end table that rested beside the bed. It had drawers so she unzipped her bag and began to put away her clothes. She left out a pair of grey sweatpants and a loose plain t-shirt. She laid them both upon the wooden boards of the floor. She took the picture of her mother out and eased out the few crinkles it had found during their journey. She wanted to hold it tight to her chest but she taped it up above her bed instead. She looked into the smiling face and sighed.
"Hey! What the fuck!?" Mike hollered from beneath her, banging something against the ceiling. "Close this shit! I told you!" Bella scrambled up off the bed and raced toward the stairway. "I'm sorry," she found herself apologizing as she pulled it up. It creaked shut and she leaned back against the wall, her chest heaving. She heard him grumbling down the hallway. Don't cry. She took out her cloth bag that was stuffed full of toiletries and laid it out next to her nightstand. Then came her headphones, her cellphone, wallet, a little wad of cash that she stuffed in among her clothing. She eased her aching feet out of her sneakers, then out of her damp socks. She laid her sneakers out to dry. I need some boots, she knew as she looked down upon her worn Chucks. She unfastened her jeans and eased out of her heavy jacket and sweater. She left her panties on and drew her sweats on, grateful for the warmth they brought. The attic was chilled and goosebumps prickled up on her pale skin. She pulled the baggy shirt on next, and slipped into the bed. She laid there for a while thinking. She had so many questions but there was nobody to ask. She was not brave enough to go and ask Sarah or Buck. They had acted as if they had not wanted her there anyway. Usually she at least got a tour. She didn't need them though, not really. She needed their house. She needed their names, and their signatures on her school forms. She had found less than she'd expected but it did not matter. She'd never had a family, and she only needed two more years. She'd be free then. Eighteen, and free, she thought as she snuggled into her pillow ignoring the light that broke in from the askew curtain. Free...free..free. She fell asleep quick and easy.
Sarah Gerber brought her husband a plate of steaming food while she sipped on a chilled beer. "What'd you think then?" she asked. "About what?" He let out a burp, and took the food from her. "About our new..daughter," she sat down next to him after she fetched her own plate, and hollered for Mike. "Come eat, Mikey," she sang up the stairs. "What about her?" He asked confused. "I asked you what you think, Buck," she swatted him. "Don't think nothin," he took a swig of beer, and then a bite of stew. Mike came down a bit later and took his plate upstairs to eat. Sarah thought about calling him back down but she didn't. She had the nagging feeling she was forgetting to do something but she pushed it away and ate her stew.
In the morning she woke up still slightly drunk. Buck had his arm draped over her and it was fuckin' heavy. She shifted it and rolled over in her sleep, her thighs sticky with his seed. She hummed in contentment. Their bed was warm, and she was comfortable. She dozed for a while more, dreams springing up and disappearing as quickly as they came. Buck threw his arm back over her and she cursed. "Sick'f this shit," she grumbled as she hoisted him off and sat up to get a cigarette from the pack on the table next to the bed. She lit it up and leaned back against the headboard taking a long draw. She had just begun to fall back asleep, her lit cigarette still in hand when the knock came at the door. Soft at first, so soft she could almost ignore it. Then a voice beyond the door, one that sounded like her son. "No-" a louder bang. "Fuck it, move," then the door was swung open. Sarah sat up in a start, dropping her cigarette. "Mom, we all overslept," he said pointedly. "Me and her need a ride to school," he jerked his thumb back at the small girl who stood in the doorway of her bedroom. I forgot about her, Sarah realized. Then her head began to ache a bit and she reached for her half full beer from last night and picked up her cigarette from the floor. "Buck," she began to shake him and when he remained limp she remembered he'd brought the whiskey out last night after dinner. "Fuck, Mike, take the keys to the truck," she told him, a slur in her words. "Really?" He beamed. Bella shifted uncomfortably behind him. She is pretty, Sarah thought as she looked at the girl dressed in a long crimson thermal and light blue jeans. Then she looked back at Mike, dressed in his puffy coat and dark jeans. "You don't do nothing stupid," she told him before going back to her beer, cigarette, and peaceful dozing.
She had come to the bathroom to catch her breath for a minute. The day was moving quickly, and her head was spinning a little. Everyone seemed to know everyone here. She gathered that new students usually weren't a thing. Mike told her he'd grown up in Healy, and so had the majority of his peers on their drive in. There was only one middle school, and one elementary as well, and they all stood on adjoining lots. The High-school was larger than them all, but it was smaller than the other schools she'd been to. Bella had still managed to lose her way and her schedule a couple of times. Mike hadn't bothered with showing her around, but he'd wished her luck though before he'd parted ways with her to meet up with his friends. She didn't mind much. She asked someone random when she needed to, and used her common sense when she could, using the room numbers on the walls to guide her down the corridors. She'd found her locker that morning, then her first class- English, then Science where she'd been sat next to a boy who'd sweated and stammered out sentences to her the whole hour, and then Math had come where Mr. Marx had tried to make her introduce herself to the class. She'd thought about it but her legs had began to buckle when she tried to stand so she took her seat and said only her name, and that she had come from Phoenix. Spanish had been her favorite so far- she had lived with a family from Mexico when she was six until they'd relocated back when she had turned eleven. She'd even conquered the better part of lunch, she thought as she checked her watch. She had gone and grabbed a tray that held a sandwich, chips, and milk, and gobbled it up as soon as her butt had found a bench. Then Mike had come in with his group of friends and they'd all begun to look at her and talk in hushed tones so she got up, dumped her tray in the trash, and left them to their whispers.
She pulled her thick hair back and tied it into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck. She swept it free of her shirt, and came out of the bathroom. The bell finally gave a shrill tone and she pulled the crumpled schedule the office woman had printed up for her that morning from the back pocket of her jeans. History was next. Bleh, Bella thought as she grudgingly made her way down the hallway. She found 206 right before the final bell sounded and skidded inside. She stopped suddenly on her heel. Every eye turned to look at her, and she felt her cheeks heating up. "Who are you?" a low voice asked of her, beyond all the stares, near the very back of the room. She looked up, past everyone else to find the speaker. Bella couldn't see the bottom half of her from behind her desk but she could see her eyes. They were a deep golden hue, dusky hazel flakes mixed into them. They pierced into her own and unsettled her so completely she forgot how to speak and could only stammer. "I-I am- uh- I'm-" she swallowed. A few chuckles sounded from around the room. "You are?" The voice was cold, but not unkind, an accent slightly tilting the words. "I'm Bella," she finally managed at the woman's prodding. "I'm new."
"Hm," the woman stood from her desk, and Bella clutched her notebook tighter in her arms. She watched as she finally took her eyes away, and tipped her head to look down at her planner. Her pale blonde hair fell over her shoulders in loose ringlets. "Swan?" She asked after a long pause everyone else was absolutely silent for. Bella wondered at their silence. No class had been this quiet all day. "Yes," she answered. "You sit over there," the woman nodded her head toward a empty seat near the window. "Okay," Bella replied and began to move toward her seat. A foot shot out that she narrowly avoided, and she realized Mike sat two rows ahead of her. He laughed, and slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle it. So did his friends. She continued on until she slid into her seat, setting her notebook on the desk.
"Turn to page 394," the command came, and Bella watched as everyone reached into their bags for their materials, still all without a word. Textbooks were brought up, and the slender blonde who looked to be in her early thirties came up the row of desks toward the front of the classroom. Bella got a good look at her now. She wore dark slacks, and a long necked blouse the color of warm earth. Earrings hung loosely from her ears, and she played with the rings on her fingers as she spoke to the class. Bella found herself looking about, but just as she began to fret, a book was slid upon the surface of her desk, and the voice came behind her. "394."
She turned to the page with trembling hands and when she'd managed her instructor walked on and spoke again. "Today I want us all to think about the Renaissance," she began in smooth calm tones. God help her, Bella tried. After when she had a full page of notes, and the rest of her classmates did as well, the bell finally came but nobody moved. She looked around, confused. "You are dismissed," the words came as she moved back towards her desk. Then the scene came to life, everyone jumping up and finally taking action, laughing and joking, shoving their textbooks into their bags. She stood and groaned as her stiff joints cracked a bit. Matt came swaggering up to her with a cocky grin on his face. "I'll be at the truck in a few," he told her. "Need to go see my girlfriend," he winked at a buddy who was walking past out of the classroom. "Oh- sure," she said. "I'll wai-" she began, and then a voice overlapped hers. "Ms. Swan," it came from behind her and she turned on instinct. "A minute of your time, please," her teacher asked of her, leaning back against her desk. "Michael," she nodded to him. "Ms. Denali," he mumbled and stalked away from them, leaving them alone in the now deserted classroom.
They looked at each other for a moment. "You're free to keep the book." Bella's brow furrowed and she tilted her head, "Huh?" she asked stupidly. "The textbook," Ms. Denali clarified, gesturing to the book she held along with her notebook and pencil. "Oh, uhm, thank you," she managed. Ms. Denali nodded and pushed herself up off the ledge of her desk. "You'll need to bring it with you every day, Isabella," she said, the words calm, and nearly sedating. She startled at the use of her full name. "Yes, ma'am," she replied. The older woman looked at her for a long moment then, now only a few spaces away. Bella looked back- entranced in swirls of gold, flickering with unidentifiable emotion. Then someone walked by the open classroom door, and Bella turned to look. When she turned back Ms. Denali had returned to her desk, and was thumbing open her planner with a finger. "You are dismissed," she said without looking up.
"Yes, ma'am," Bella said again, hurrying out of the classroom to meet up with Mike before he decided to leave her. "What took you so long?" He asked her as she slid inside the cab. "Nothing," Bella hoped she sounded more sure than she felt. "Sorry."