#15

Thor's gaze flickered rapidly between Loki and the door as he gauged whether he was more interested in the clarification of his brother's assertion or the investigation of a potential threat. Naturally, his protective instinct won and he sprang to his feet, bolting out of the door before Loki could as much as blink. Without Thor's reassuring presence, the cabin seemed to shrink in size, leaving room for one single thought only. Thanos. What do I do if it is Thanos? If he found me here? He shuddered. What if he kills Thor? His heart leaped into his throat as he leaped to his feet and rushed to the door, all signs of exhaustion temporarily forgotten. He stood by the doorframe and peered out, his entire body paralyzed with panic. Thankfully, the vessel that had landed just outside the cabin was no spaceship but a Midgardian aircraft, the power of its engines flattening the grass. Loki breathed out in relief before he realized that the presence of a Midgardian vessel did not exactly bode well for him either. The Avengers, he thought sourly. Thor summoned the Avengers.

He lied to you, Loki, snickered the accursed voice. I told you, this was going to happen, did I not?

He cursed under his breath as he watched the back of the aircraft yawn open and transform into a steel ramp. Down from this ramp stepped Valkyrie, clad from head to toe in a tight black leather suit, her hair a mane of dark-brown curls wafting around her, Dragon Fang dangling from a silver belt slung around her waist. Iron Man exited behind her. Loki guffawed inwardly at the thought of facing Tony Stark even though he did not know why the man's presence made him so tense. Performance issues, you know, it's not uncommon. Loki forced the thought away. Pull yourself together. You are a godlike being. You have been blessed with incredible strength and even more incredible wit, while he is a mere mortal. Incredibly intelligent and resourceful, but a puny mortal all the same. A mortal who had not come alone. A blue-skinned woman with enormous black pupils and a cybernetically enhanced body stepped out after him, followed by a raccoon, which was probably the animal Thor had mentioned earlier, and a strawberry blonde human, whom he recognized as Stark's affiliate and who was dressed in the same attire as Valkyrie.

Thor was facing them in full armor, his newly acquired battle-axe dangling from his hand. "Val!" he cried out by way of a greeting. The mixture of surprise, disappointment and longing in his voice told Loki that he could not have summoned them. It also told him a lot more about the exact nature of their alliance than he would have wanted to know. Ever the Ladies Man, aren't you, brother? You are so predictable.

"You thought you would get way so easily?" Valkyrie shouted.

For a brief moment, Thor looked flabbergasted. "How did you find me here?"

"Is that really your only concern? You bail on us like that and expect us to just put up with it?" She was standing in front of him now, jabbing her finger into his chest. "What were you thinking?"

"You made your choice and I made mine," Thor replied firmly, making a half-shrug, half-throwing-away gesture with his right hand.

Valkyrie huffed a laugh. "And just what kind of choice are we talking about here?"

"I thought you were on my side. It turned out you are not and that's fine with me but you can't expect me to—"

"I was on your 'side'," she interrupted him, indicating quotation marks with her index and middle fingers, "because I falsely assumed you were going to bring Loki back so that he could help us. How was I supposed to know that you were going to isolate yourself in order to resolve your family squabbles while the rest of the universe perishes of grief?"

"This is not what this is about," Thor replied.

"It's not?" Tony Stark joined in. His helmet vanished at the touch of a button on his ironclad chest. His eyes, Loki saw, were tired and worry had etched deep lines into his once so careless, gleeful face. "You're acting like a huge selfish prick. You know damn well that we need you in this fight and still you dropped everything for your whacko brother. When did your losses become more important to you than everyone else's?"

Blinding out what was most certainly an insult, Loki tried to assess the situation. Thor had promised him that he would not have to face the Avengers and apparently, he had honored that promise by breaking off contact with them or trying to do so, anyway. He had turned his back on them and he had done it for him. He and Thor were reconciled—well, as reconciled as the children of Odin could be—and the Avengers knew it. He smiled to himself.

"He is my brother," Thor answered quietly, as if to confirm Loki's silent speculations. "I do not expect you to understand."

"Oh, I understand just fine," came Stark's hostile reply. "I understand just fine that you wouldn't have as much as called us again before making your move, trying to save our world alongside someone you aren't even sure how to trust. The Infinity Stones might be divine artifacts, Thor, but this here is no divine kingdom. This is our world, not yours, and we have a right to decide if we want to risk whatever it is your Asgardian ass is gonna be willing to risk."

"And just how exactly are you planning to claim that right, Tony?" Thor replied, his voice vibrating with anger and a little bit of contempt. He laughed. "Are you going to subdue me and drag me back to headquarters in a pouch?" He took a step forward. "Are you going to fight me?"

Stark inhaled deeply, his features twisting with what might have been pain or discomfort. A gasp escaped the lips of the strawberry blonde woman as she took an instinctive step backwards. Valkyrie's eyes narrowed. "Will you stop it, Thor? Just listen to yourself! He poisoned your mind against us and you are letting it happen!"

"He did no such thing!" Thor protested.

The blue woman stepped forth, raising her clenched fists. "No? Then why do you act as if you alone are entitled to look for the only weapon we know of that might defeat Thanos? We have a right to know and we will not back down. I will not back down, do you hear me?"

Well, if this is not the perfect time to make your entrance, Loki's inner voice suggested. He liked this one a lot better than the dark part's snarl because it was not outright hateful but still mischievous and, most of all, it sounded a lot more like his own. Loki briefly considered trying to shapeshift into the Asgardian appearance they were familiar with but, apart from the fact that he was not ready for the disappointment, he presumed that his Jotun form would inspire a lot more awe in them than his humanoid whacko image—whatever that was. Gather around, mortals, for it is show time, Loki thought, let the God of Mischief take over and emerged from the cabin. "Avengers? I think that's enough."

Valkyrie's features slipped. Tony Stark's mouth gaped open. The two women stood rooted to the spot. Thor turned halfway when the meaning of their shocked expression sank in and acknowledged his presence with a weary smile. The raccoon grunted. "This is your brother?"

"What the—" Stark mumbled.

Loki descended the stairs, positioned himself in front of his brother's comrades and fixated the engineer with an intense stare. "Yes, this is my true form," he announced theatrically. "You may close your mouth now, Anthony Edward Stark." He stretched out his arms. "I am Loki, of Jotunheim, bloodson of Laufey, adopted son of Odin, all-father of the Norse Gods."

"Dude, did you practice that in front of a mirror?" asked the raccoon. Loki shot the animal a warning look and cast an illusion of three sharp blades shooting out of the grass in front of its feet. The raccoon stumbled backwards, its shoulders slumping. Thor commanded him to undo the glamour with one chastising glance.

"I don't believe this," Valkyrie cried out.

"I told you he was adopted," Thor offered by way of an explanation.

"But you never told me he was a Frost Giant! That explains why he is so—"

Stark chuckled in disbelief. "Regular-human-sized?"

"Slippery," Valkyrie finished as if the self-proclaimed Man of Iron had not spoken. "Giants are infamous for their intent to deceive. It also explains the frost bites."

"That was an accident."

"An accident?" Valkyrie mocked. "Yeah, right."

"Just stop it," Thor snapped at her. "You are in no position to pass judgment like this. There is clearly a lot that you don't understand."

Valkyrie's expression hardened. Loki flashed her a challenging smirk. She glowered back, mumbling, "You little shit."

"Seriously, can we go back to that Frost Giant thing?" Stark asked. The strawberry blonde woman spoke his name in a tone that told Loki that she was not only his affiliate but a significant other who had advised him countless times not to be so reckless. He continued anyway. "Correct me if I'm wrong but why call them giants if they aren't, you know, huge?"

Loki took another step towards him. The woman grabbed Stark's arm. "Most of them are. Some grow as tall as a mountain but there are exceptions, obviously. Some do not grow bigger than you. Or me."

The engineer huffed a laugh. "Wow, you just can't seem to do anything right."

The blonde woman gasped once more. "Tony!"

Loki twisted his lips into a grin. "Neither can you ever since you created that peace program that turned into a killer machine and tried to erase humanity." He paused for effect. "What was its name again? Ultron?"

Stark's jaw dropped. "What do you know about Ultron?"

"I know everything about Ultron. We were just talking about that, in fact," Loki offered, jerking his head in Thor's direction.

His brother shook his head ever so slightly, suddenly looking defensive and very uncomfortable. "No, we weren't."

"I was just about to tell you," Loki reminded him. "Might as well tell all of you. I practically handed you the scepter with the mind stone in it on a silver platter—twice, actually—because I assumed you would be intelligent enough to figure out a way to use it but no. The first time the scepter was in your possession after closing the portal, you gave it over to S.H.I.E.L.D instead of pursuing your own investigation." He narrowed his eyes at Tony Stark. "The second time, you tried to develop a computer program to create world peace that backfired on you." Loki chuckled. "Literally and figuratively, I suppose."

Valkyrie snorted her condemnation. Thor heaved a sigh and whispered, "Can you please try to not dig our grave after I sort of put my head on the block for you?" through clenched teeth.

Loki mouthed his reply. Where is the fun in that?

Stark gaped at him. "I don't understand," he stammered. "You make it sound as if you wanted us to have it after the battle of New York."

Loki smirked. "Didn't you ever wonder why I just left it lying on the landing of your hideous show-off tower? Why all you had to do was pick it up and close the portal?"

"So, you're telling me you wanted that portal closed?" Stark frowned. "After you unleashed Thanos' alien henchmen upon the city? That doesn't make any sense."

"It does, actually." Thor gave an exasperated sigh peppered with a pinch of the familiar disappointment. "In a twisted Loki way, it does make absolute sense." He smiled vaguely. "And then what? You somehow intermeddled and stole the scepter from S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"I wanted you to have it."

"Why?" Stark asked. "And how?"

"Thought projection. And, a little confession here, I might have watched you from time to time. Ruling Asgard turned out to be quite boring, I'm afraid," Loki confided. And lonely. Very lonely. "I manipulated those two scientists into stealing the scepter from S.H.I.E.L.D and delivering it to Hydra because I knew it would never occur to you to get your hands on it as long as it was still with the good guys."

"You spied on us," Stark concluded. "I'm sure that's a violation of privacy."

Loki barked a laugh. "Tell that to your government."

The raccoon quietly asked Valkyrie whether she knew what this was all about. "Only a vague one," came her whispered reply.

Thor let out a long breath and shook his head at him, signaling him to hold his silver tongue. "What did you except us to do with it?"

"You knew how it operated on Barton and that physicist friend of yours," Loki explained. "I thought you must have known, too, that it operated on me, so I thought you might want to find out why. I thought you would be smart enough to want to find out who had been pulling the strings. I sent you a vision but, unfortunately, I could not fully intercept the power of the person who made your mind susceptible for mental alteration in the first place. I tried again, when you called upon the Norns in that cave but you did not exactly put the information I gave you to good use." He sighed. "Apparently, I overestimated your intelligence." He faced Iron Man. "Yours in particular. That was most disappointing."

"Didn't you say he was a changed man?" Stark grumbled. "Because all I see is the same old irritating megalomaniac that confronted me six years ago."

"You know what they say, Stark," Loki replied. "It takes one to know one."

Before the inventor could reply, the blue-skinned woman interjected, her enormous dead black eyes drilling into him. "That's it, I have heard enough! We all know you are not our enemy in this war, Loki, you are a victim, one of the many casualties Thanos left in his wake. So, can we please skip over the part where you pretend to be tough and brag about the cunning schemes you concocted in the past, and get to the point where you tell us everything we need to know in order to find the weapon that might defeat him?"

Loki narrowed his eyes at the stranger, irritated by her sudden aggression and the insinuation that she knew anything about him. "Who are you?"

"That is Nebula," Stark provided. "She's basically a key witness in your case."

"What case?" Loki asked, his confusion and annoyance growing.

"Oh, didn't I say? We're here in more or less official capacity," Stark declared solemnly, locking eyes with him. He accepted the challenge and stared back. "On behalf of the Avengers, we're here to determine your sanity and assess your eligibility for possible collaboration. And that's where she comes in."

Thor's lips parted in surprise.

"I don't see how," Loki snarled, his heart sinking as it dawned on him that his brother would want him to side with the Avengers. Yes, Thor wanted to help him and, for the first time in their lives, Loki believed him but Thor also wanted to save the universe and stand by his comrades because that was who he was. He was a goddamned hero. He would have turned his back on them for him—of that Loki had no more doubt—but now that they were here, offering to give Loki a chance, however small that chance might be, Thor would want him to take it. He would be disappointed if he spurned it and even though every fiber in Loki's body bristled at the notion of answering to a group of mortal would-be heroes, he knew he would be disappointed in himself as well. Damn him, Loki thought. Damn me, damn them all.

The woman Stark had introduced as Nebula locked eyes with him. "I am, was, a daughter of Thanos. I was there when you arrived at the Sanctuary and I know that you did not want dominion over Earth when you first stranded in his lair."

Loki flinched before he could stop himself. The memories of the previous night were still too fresh and he felt his self-control slipping. Pull yourself together, will you? "What does that have to do with anything?" he brought himself to ask.

"Part of our inquiry is to sort out the whole New York mess, obviously," Stark provided. "Thor said you were brainwashed into attacking us."

Oh please, no. He had felt vulnerable enough last night when he had realized that Thor knew but those insignificant humans did not need to know of the agony Thanos had put him through. They had no right to know. Loki felt the air streaming out of his lungs.

"And you were right," Nebula said, her eyes searching for Thor's. "Your brother was miserable when Thanos got ahold of him. The only thing he wanted was death."

Loki exhaled as he tried to force back the dark part and the identity-threatening memories all at once. Resort to your illusions all you want, Loki, but they cannot conceal the truth: You are nothing but a flyspeck on the pages of the glorious history of the Gods … Oh, please, not now. Nothere, not with them watching … They know how weak you are, Loki. You need to do something or they will prey upon that weakness …

No, get out! Just go. I don't you need you to—

You don't need me!? A sardonic laughter echoed through his skull. Who protected you all those years, Loki? Who took care of you when no one else would take notice of you and your pain? I did. You cannot shut me out like that. You need me! You need me to put them in their place!

Suddenly, it seemed impossible to draw another breath. No, I …

"I think we've heard enough," Thor intervened by positioning himself between them like a two-hundred-and-fifty-pounds wall of flesh and muscle but Nebula was not yet finished. "Thanos implanted the wish to rule over Earth into his mind by telling him that it would prove his worth to you and, eventually, he believed it. Just like everyone under mind control eventually starts to believe the things they are told."

Her eyes were devoid of any emotion but her voice was so raw and so full of pain and hatred that Loki could not help but feel sympathy for her. The sentiment jolted the voice out of his head. It was getting easier to do so each time and he allowed himself to hope that, soon, it might be gone for good. Out of nowhere, a hazy memory of the cyborg woman formed in the back of his mind. Loki inhaled deeply, his entire body hardening with tension as he recalled her stepping towards him, flanked by two members of the Black Order. "You delivered the power stone to him when I was his … prisoner."

"I did," Nebula confirmed. "I was tortured by him and tortured for him in return. But I have long since turned my back on him and I do regret the suffering that I have caused under his orders. Which means we all want the same thing. You, me, your brother, the Avengers, we all want him dead and there is no reason why we shouldn't join forces against a common enemy."

A heavy silence crept over the Norwegian coast. The sun was climbing higher into the sky, stretching out its sweltering fingers. Loki suppressed the urge to groan as he felt his tight black shirt soaking up the heat.

"So, you actually want our help?" Thor clarified. Curiously enough, he looked rather tense and not at all happy about this outcome. "Because you really didn't seem to want it last night."

Did you hear that? He said 'our' help. You are wrong, you tainted, foul-mouthed weasel.

"I cannot sit on my hands any longer," Nebula replied. "If there is a way to avenge Gamora's death or bring her back, I must be a part of this."

Loki made a mental note to check who Gamora was.

"Apart from that, we get this much," Stark added. "You don't need us. You'll go off on one of your solo quests because that's what you've always done and will always do because, apparently, that's part of your job description as the all-Gods-father's son."

"All-father," Thor corrected.

"But Nebula is right. We need to be a part of this," Stark continued softly. "You can't just tell us there is a seventh Infinity Stone and then vanish to find it yourself and keep us in the dark. Not even the Masters of the Mystic Arts know about that seventh stone and—"

Loki interrupted him with a condescending giggle. "Why would those sub-prime sorcerers know anything about an artifact whose existence has remained a mystery to even the most powerful of the Gods?"

Stark breathed out but he ignored the question. "And we need to know. Right now, this stone is our best and, let's face it, only bet against that genocidal shitbag." He paused, silently pleading with the God of Thunder. "This is our fight, too, Thor, and if you're not willing to do this without Loki, then I guess we're all in for one hell of a ride and that's just the way it is."

"I'm deeply moved by the vote of confidence," Loki replied, "but Loki very much likes to speak for himself."

Author's note:

I just came out of my Christmas-induced food and booze coma this morning, took a two-hour-walk, let nature inspire me and polished off this chapter. So, Thor made his choice, the Avengers made theirs, now Loki has to make his! And aren't we all curious if he's gonna get over himself? And for how much longer will Thor be able to keep his secret? I will try to update once a week from now on, so that this story will be finished before Endgame comes out because I really, really, really do want my own ending to be written before the plot of the fourth film gives me any new ideas.

Speaking of what is giving me ideas, though, I recently read the Thor (2007), Fear Itself, Journey Into Mystery, Thor (2011), Agent of Asgard and Original Sin comics and while they didn't consciously give me any new ideas, they more than validated my interpretation that Loki is never really alone inside his head. And since this is the most fun part for me to explore, I guess I now have the perfect excuse, don't I?

Also, please, please, please leave reviews. It would mean a lot to me. Thank you!