#17
Rocket jumped out of his seat when Tony Stark's iron-gloved hands grabbed Loki by the shoulders, his thumbs pressing into Loki's throat. "This is all one big joke for you, huh?"
Stark's sudden movement instantly dispersed the pretended joyousness of a moment ago. Loki squealed, an expression of panic chasing across his face. "N-no, I …"
Seized by a burst of rage he could not possibly hope to control, Thor sprang to his feet, his seatbelt tearing open across his chest. "Tony, that's enough!"
Loki had gone stock-still but Tony did not seem to or did not want to notice. Despite Thor's command to stop, he squeezed harder, pressing Loki against the wall of the aircraft. "Your humor is disgusting and disrespectful and if you aren't gonna shut up—"
"Tony!" Thor bellowed, his entire body vibrating with anger. So much anger. He was angry with himself because he felt ashamed and guilty and defeated and utterly, hopelessly, disgracefully out of control. He was angry with Loki because of his apparent inability to sit through fifteen minutes of inconvenient conversation without putting up a front that was bound to incur the wrath and rejection he was familiar with instead of making a bloody effort for once. He was angry with Tony because he had decided to give Loki a chance without reflecting on how much of a risk he would be taking and was now, to nobody's surprise, incapable of handling it. Thor was so angry that he could feel the power of thunder surge through his body. He grabbed Iron Man's arm and yanked him around. "Stop it now!" Thor commanded in a voice that sounded eerie even in his own ears. It was hoarse and alien, distorted with resentment, and it reminded him of Odin's voice when he had declared war upon the Dark Elves to revenge his wife's death.
"Make me," Tony countered in a similarly estranged voice, his eyes dead cold. Pepper stirred uneasily.
Thor uttered a roaring cry.
"Thor, no! Relax!" Bruce shouted from his position of safety on the other side of the communication system but it was too late. Before Thor could as much as try to bring his anger under control, a vigorous bolt of lightning whizzed out of his fingers and zigzagged through the enclosed space of the plane.
From then on, events followed in too quick a succession for Thor to tell them apart. Valkyrie uttered a furious cry. Nebula pulled Pepper down and flung them both onto the ground. Tony shouted, "Are you out of your fucking mind?" The next thing Thor saw was that his lightning blast had hit the instrument panel in the cockpit. The communication system crackled. "Sir, the engines … compromised," F.R.I.D.A.Y. cautioned unnecessarily. "We are going … lose altitude … s-soon …" The panels started smoking and the screen went blank, cutting off Bruce's cries and the AI's mechanical voice. The aircraft tumbled in the wind. Tony punished Thor with a death stare and pushed him aside before he hurried over to the flight instruments, trying to rescue the aircraft. Thor caught a fleeting glimpse of Loki, who might as well have been a lifeless statue carved in stone. There was nothing below them but water now, and the plane was beginning to spiral downwards.
"We're gonna die," Pepper whispered. She had clambered back to her feet and was staring out of the windshield with a horrified expression on her pale face.
"We're not gonna die," Tony told her but his trembling voice was hardly reassuring. His helmet materialized around his head. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., talk to me. Where's the next island?"
"There is no next island!" Pepper screamed. "We're above the Atlantic Ocean, Tony!"
The aircraft was hurtling ever closer towards said ocean's surface with every millisecond that ticked by. The shock at the damage he had so recklessly caused left Thor paralyzed. "Why did we save your ass again?" Rocket yelled into his direction.
Flames were coming out of the control panel now. Tony pushed himself off the chair. "Okay, we need to get out of here! Grab a parachute!" He pushed a button on the panel but nothing happened, so he used the energy released by his Iron Man suit to carve a hole into the ceiling of the aircraft.
"What are you doing?" Pepper cried out. "This isn't gonna work! We're gonna hit the water and die!"
"You're right! Too close to the surface for safely deploying parachutes." Tony pulled her into his arms. "But I'm not gonna let you die, okay, Pep, okay? I did that sort of thing before. I can get you all down safely! Come on, now!" A blast of energy from below his soles propelled them upwards through the hole. Nebula jumped out after them. Valkyrie scooped up Rocket and tossed the animal upwards through the hole. She glanced at Thor, aghast, before she turned away and heaved herself up.
Thor tightened his grip around the Stormbreaker and looked at his brother, who was still sitting in his chair, his seatbelt firmly in place, as if the aircraft they were in was not going to hit the surface of the water at who knew how many miles per hour any second while being devoured by flames. "What in the all-father's name are you doing?" Thor asked hoarsely. "Get up!"
"I don't see the point," Loki sighed, his eyes focusing nothing in particular, his face terrifyingly devoid of any emotion. "This is how it is always going to be. I am never going to fit in with them. So, why bother?"
"Why bother?" Thor echoed. He ripped his brother's seatbelt open with his fingers and yanked him up. "Because you and I have a lot to make up for, that's why!" He hooked his left hand under his brother's armpit and swung the Stormbreaker with his right, propelling them upwards through the hole Tony Stark had burned into the ceiling, barely escaping the flames that were angrily licking his feet. "I swear to you, Loki, you are going to help me clean up this mess! You are not going to bury your head in the sand now!"
"I think we are much more likely to bury our heads in water," came Loki's humorless reply.
A throaty cry bursting with rage and exasperation escaped Thor's lips and rumbled through the air, ricocheting off the water. This is how it is always going to be … If the Aesir mess up, they mess up on a really gigantic scale … Why bother? "Seriously, why can't you ever shut up?" Thor barked even though he knew how unfair that question was.
"Oh, this is my fault now?" Loki mocked but his heart was not really in it. "Am I the one who chose to reveal our family failures in front of your virtuous companions in a place with literally no escape? Am I the one who fired that lightning blast? I dare say this is on you, brother."
Thor could hardly argue with that, so he silently watched Tony, Valkyrie, Pepper, Nebula and Rocket, who had formed a circle by holding each other's hands, and were safely gliding into the water to his right, the speed of their fall deterred by the energy released by Iron Man's armor. The aircraft below them was hurtling ever closer towards the water's surface.
"We need to help them," Thor mumbled as he mentally chalked down another failure on the ever-growing list.
"I might have an idea." Loki broke free of Thor's grip, dropped himself onto the ceiling of the plane and stumbled to a halt on the metal surface just as the vessel hit the ocean. Angrily foaming waves surged upwards, engulfing him in water. Thor screamed his brother's name. Iron Man rocketed towards him, yelling, "What the hell is he doing?"
"I don't know," gasped Thor. Below him, Loki was stretching out his arms, his head lowered in concentration, and the waves subsided around him as if bound by his will, forming a watery plateau that enclosed the aircraft and lifted it a few feet above the ocean's surface.
"I'm so sorry, Tony," Thor whispered as the full meaning behind his actions finally began to sink in. The water plateau was transforming into ice, creating an island in the middle of the ocean with the aircraft resting in its center, the flames ignited by his lightning quenched by the water. "When you grabbed him like that, your fingers on his throat … That's how Thanos killed him. I just … I lost it, I'm sorry."
A quiet, defeated "yeah" was all Tony offered him in response. Down on the aircraft, Loki staggered a few steps before he toppled over and slammed headfirst onto the ice.
Loki felt the power of the magic he had presumed lost sweep through his body as he mentally willed the waves into shape around him. He could feel it, too, prickling on his scalp and crackling from his fingertips like electricity, and most importantly, he could see its colors—his colors—shimmering across the waves in bright flashes of emerald. He channeled all his concentration towards the task of creating an elevation made of water for Stark and his friends to rest on. He relaxed for the briefest of moments when his spell had fixed the water in place, breathing a sigh of relief and letting his guard down.
I told you this was going to happen, his worst enemy sneered. I told you that they were going to reject you. And look for how long you have been able to handle it. Thirty minutes? Maybe less?
"I won't even pay attention anymore," Loki murmured under his breath, trying to close his mind against the intruder in order to focus on the water once more.
Much to Loki's consternation, another voice replied. You should. It was the dashingly winsome voice of the God of Mischief. Because It is making you miserable, Loki. It keeps telling you that you are unworthy of social recognition no matter what you do and this is the sole reason why you antagonized Tony Stark like this; why you always lean towards making people hate you; Thor most of all.
Excuse me? The dark voice burst out laughing and the sound clattered through Loki's head like a cannonball. I am protecting him! Just look at him! Do you think anyone is ever going to see him as something other than the abominable Frost Giant that he is? Loki smiled wryly as the water below him was finally beginning to solidify into ice.
Your wicked words are no longer wanted or needed, split-tongue. I will take care of him!
You? That accursed cackle again. It was shrill and nasty and obtrusive; like curved fingernails scraping against the inside of his skull. All you do is sustain his delusions of grandeur. He is neither king nor god and he would do well to—
"Stop talking about me," Loki hissed through his clenched teeth. "You are both figments of my imagination. How can you even talk to each other, anyway?"
Again, the dark voice laughed. You know what they say, Loki. Crises bring people closer together.
"You and I have been far too close for far too long," whispered Loki harshly and curled his fingers into a fist, feeling for the strength of his magic. It was still there, pulsating through his fingertips. He visualized both of the intruders arguing in a room inside his head, which—painfully but not altogether surprisingly—assumed the shape of the cell he had been confined to after his war crimes against Midgard. The mischievous voice he had always trusted until now had assumed the appearance of his younger self, clad in olive green, with gold plates adorning its chest, a grass-colored cape flowing from its shoulders and the golden-horned helmet on its head. The other voice Loki visualized as an even paler, haggard version of his former Asgardian self, with unkempt hair and a fierce stare, its red-green eyes ablaze with wrath and madness. Loki focused on this picture for a few seconds, psychically transfixing his tormentors in the cell—rendering them motionless and, more importantly, voiceless—before he released a bolt of mental force into the room that made the cell explode in a color mash of orange shades.
Loki felt the impact of their disintegration like a migraine and, suddenly, he heard a million gut-wrenching, heart-breaking cries of agony, pleas for mercy and howls of pain, and felt so much misery, so much despair that it sent him staggering. The agonizing cries were replaced by a murmur of hitherto unfamiliar voices. Who are you? Are you with Him? Do you wish us harm? Explain yourself. As far as Loki could tell, there were four of them, each of them agitated beyond measure. No, there was a fifth. He is not with Him. Then a sixth. I know your colors. The voices kept talking, and their jabbering threatened to fry his mind once and for all. "Stop," Loki begged softly. "I can't take this anymore. I can't."
You need to, cautioned one of the voices. You need to help us.
"Help you?" Loki whispered. "Why? How? And who are you?"
We have been compromised, replied another. Everything is going to come apart.
Do not trust him, objected the first voice. He was His agent. See?
Out of nowhere, a swell of unspeakable pain slammed into Loki's body, knocked him off his feet and hurled him facedown onto the ice.
By the time Thor landed on the platform, Loki was trying to pull himself up again, panting. Thor knelt down and tried to help him up but he jerked away, dropping back onto the ice on his back. His eyes were wide open and dark blue blood was trickling out of his nose. "Dammit Loki, what's happening?" Thor screamed but his brother's breathing was so heavy that he could not speak. From the corner of his eye, Thor saw Iron Man helping the others onto the ice that enclosed the aircraft like the ring of a planet. "Loki, please!"
Loki wheezed something in response that sounded as if he was asking to be given a minute but Thor could not be sure. The voices of the others were coming closer and, unsurprisingly, they were arguing.
"… like with the water and the ice?" Rocket was saying. "That was awesome. I mean, what was that?"
"You're seriously going to focus on that and not on the fact that Thor released a bolt of lightning inside a plane and almost got you killed?" came Valkyrie's reply.
"Yeah, that wasn't so awesome," the raccoon conceded.
They were standing almost next to him now, with Tony talking to someone inside his helmet. "Yeah, we're on a man-made, well, Jotun-made ice floe approximately one-hundred-fifty-miles east off Shetland as of now. Of course, we're likely to be adrift or melt or whatever. I'll keep you posted."
Thor clambered to his feet and shielded his brother from view.
Valkyrie shook her head. "Just for the record, the ice isn't going to melt. Jotun ice cannot be melted by heat or even earthly fire. It can only be melted by the fires Muspelheim, so we are, well, good here."
"Good here?" Tony echoed, apparently choosing to ignore the reference to the land of fire. "You can't be serious. Look at this fucking mess!"
Valkyrie gave a half-shrug. "All I'm saying is that this ice won't melt and that no matter how long it takes for anybody to pick us up, we won't have to wait in the water and that is at least something."
"Whether you like it or not," Rocket noted dryly, "Loki just saved all of our asses." He peeked around Iron Man's legs. "What's wrong with him?"
Tony chose to remain oblivious of Loki's condition. He grunted his dissatisfaction and scowled at Thor. "Well, he wouldn't have had to if you hadn't fucked this up. Seriously, Thor, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Not now," replied Thor, feeling his beard bristle against his skin.
"Not now?" Tony shouted back. "You crashed my jet! You put Pepper's life in danger! How do you expect us to work together ever again if you're setting fire to my plane just because I put your brother in his place? Rightfully put him in his place because what he said was—"
"I don't understand what you want from me!" Thor yelled back, even though he was painfully aware that Tony was in the right and that he was acting like a monumental asshole. "I don't expect us to work together anymore and I think I made that more than clear last night but still you came after me! If anything, this is your fault!"
"My fault? Did I set fire to the jet?" Tony hissed.
"I said I was sorry," Thor began but he knew that his words would probably act more as an insult than an actual apology. "I can't make—"
They all startled when Loki uttered a bone-chilling howl of pain, squirming on the ground, his face warped in agony. He coughed and now blood was coming out of his mouth, too. "Okay, that doesn't look good," Tony acknowledged.
"What is happening?" Pepper shrieked.
"I don't know," Thor mumbled as he squatted down again, silently cursing himself that he'd had to use that phrase so often in the past twenty-four hours.
"He isn't gonna explode, is he?" asked Rocket.
"Don't be stupid!" Valkyrie snarled at the raccoon as she knelt beside Loki. "He probably overused his powers." There was not a trace of resentment or hostility left in her voice. Her hand reached out and, for a moment, Thor was convinced she was going to touch the top of Loki's head, but then she pulled it back. "Do you have water or a blanket or anything?"
"No … blan … ket," Loki panted, his eyes still closed against the pain.
Thor damned himself for having the presence of mind of a sloth. "He needs to stay cold," he mumbled to himself and tried to scrape some ice off the ground with his fingernails but it was harder than granite. "What kind of ice is that?"
"Jotun ice," Valkyrie provided unnecessarily.
Thor rammed his axe into the ice and dislodged a few crumbs, which he smeared across his brother's face, trying to get some crumbs into his mouth. Loki stopped squirming. He breathed out and opened his eyes. "It's okay … I'm … okay," he whispered, still breathing hard. He tried to prop himself up again but Thor pressed him back down. "Keep still."
"It's just … my body … it's … burning."
"Dude, you're literally lying on ice," Rocket pointed out.
Thor shot the raccoon an angry look. Loki was tugging at the black sweatshirt he was wearing, and gave a loud groan when the fabric snapped back. He heaved his body up, supporting himself on his elbows. "Get … this thing … off me," he wheezed. "Please."
Thor obliged, ripped the fabric asunder and shrank back in horror. Next to him, Valkyrie gulped. Countless scars that had not been there this morning were marring his brother's emaciated torso like miniature canyons. They were zigzagging across his skin, about half an inch in width, and between two and five inches long, glowing in a sparkling purple.
Author's Note:
- Yes, Thor lost finally lost his shit. And who can blame him, really? His outburst was partly inspired by Joanne M. Harris's Gospel Loki, where she writes that "half the time, Thor has no idea of his power" on p. 169 and, a little later, on p. 170, "You know Thor; once he sees red, there really is no stopping him." I know that mythology Thor has a lot more muscle and even less wit than MCU Thor but the description still rang true for me.
- The "fingernails scraping against the inside of his skull" line is actually taken from the novel Runemarks (p. 306), also written Joanne M. Harris. Damn, I love this woman.
- And last but not least, "pleas for mercy and howls of pain" is a quote from the song Endless Appetite (Dance of the Vampires):
"So many victims washing on the shores
An ocean of pure tears
So many pleas for mercy, howls of pain
Intoxicating fears"