Chapter 6

Did he hear her right?

Go to Winterhold… specifically to the college of mages. No way in oblivion.

This girl was nuts if she thought he'd go near that place again. He had spent far more time there than he ever wanted to.

"No," Malath croaked, turning back to his drink.

He stared at the murky liquid, his heart thudding against his ribcage. Something inside of him stirred and the feeling nearly paralyzed him with fear.

Lenia was silent for a few moments while she gathered the carrots and flung them into a pot. Then she moved over to the fire pit and was busy for a few minutes. Eventually, she turned back to him, a frown on her face.

"I can't leave you here like this," she argued quietly, turning back around.

She crossed her arms and stared at the Orc.

"Don't you want to do something with the rest of your life?"

"No," Malath repeated, his breathing becoming unsteady. They were charting dangerous territory.

"I know there's still an adventurer inside of you," Lenia continued, her voice soft and comforting.

The Orc scowled at his wine cup and tried to ignore her, although it was terribly hard not to listen. Something was threatening to burst. Something made him listen to the elf's words but he struggled against it.

"Let me take you outside these walls and show you that there is something worth living for," She pleaded, stepping closer.

Malath growled quietly, a whirlwind of emotions crashed against him and he felt like a boiling pot. Sitting there on the bench with a cup clenched tightly in his fist, his emotions were threatening to lose control. He wasn't nearly drunk enough for this sort of a conversation.

"Stop it," Malath mumbled, wishing to stop going down a fantasy road.

He stood up and made to escape to the bedroom when Lenia moved faster than he could in his worn-out state. She pinned him between the bench and the wall. She was surprisingly strong and Malath swallowed hard, feeling a lump rise painfully in his throat.

"I knew this was going to be hard."

Her hand firmly gripping his arm, and she smiled sadly at him. Malath felt his throat constrict, and he swallowed hard, looking away from her.

"You're the Dragonborn," she whispered thickly, her voice filled with such emotion that it made his chest ache. "That will never go away. You saved this country."

Dragonborn.

"I'm just an Orsimer," He spat back, careful not to say too much lest his voice betrayed his real feelings.

Malath tried to push her away. Lenia was stronger than he thought, and she held him there, her beautiful blue orbs piercing into him.

"I wouldn't be here without you, none of us would. Because of you, Malath, we are alive and well."

He scowled, clenching his fists, and looked down.

"Big deal."

"Where is your pride," she continued sharply, her voice taking an edge to it.

Malath glanced up, seeing the tears that welled in her eyes but her jaw was firmly set.

"You are an Orsimer, there is no prouder race than you. What kind of life is this?"

Malath's arm twitched. For a moment he almost forgot who was speaking to him. She had struck a nerve. He had no ties to his race, not after what his former family had done.

"What are you going to do?" She asked, her voice even and calm. "Are you going to hit me?"

Malath let out a deep breath and bowed his head in shame. He had almost wanted to hit the woman who was trying to help him.

Why can't I live anymore? What is wrong with me?

His internal voice screamed at him. A floodgate of thoughts pounding into his head. He couldn't shut them out, and he groaned.

You're a drunken mess, day after day. What happened to glory and a good adventure? What happened to the Orc I used to be?

I should have been stronger than this, I should have found a way to keep busy and continue the lifestyle my soul yearns for. Became a mercenary…or a….a...

He couldn't take it anymore. Malath sunk down onto the bench and covered his face with both hands.

"Malath," Lenia murmured, kneeling down beside him. She moved to grasp his hand.

"No! Malath startled and pushed her back.

The elf fell onto her rump and he ignored her, moving unsteadily to his feet. His whole body was shaking. He made his way for the stairs.

"You can live again!" Lenia cried, and she quickly blocked his way.

Before he could move her, Lenia jerked the Orc's arm forward and pulled him into a tight hug. Her arms wrapped firmly around his shoulders and his head tucked perfectly into the crook of her neck. Her touch completely dissolved his willpower, and Malath froze, unable to break free.

"I-I…"

"Let me help you," she whispered, and he felt her hot tears on his neck.

She held Malath tighter, her soft hair brushing against his skin. He felt something wet on his cheeks. He was crying.

A sob escaped his lips and he crushed Lenia to his chest; burying his face against her, and he cried for the first time in many years. Malath cried because he felt the pain he had been refusing to acknowledge, and he cried because he felt helpless to change it. This stranger, an Elf he'd only just met, had broken down a wall he spent five years building. There was no going back.

I can't even remember the last time somebody held me in their arms.

"I want to feel alive again," Malath gasped, choking on his tears.

Lenia's shoulders shook as she cried with him, clutching onto his shirt. They stood there for what seemed like hours. The fire crackled behind them, warming his back, but it was Lenia who had wrapped him in her warm embrace.

How can a stranger be so compassionate?

Eventually, the girl pulled back, hesitantly so, and lifted his chin up. This time he met her blue eyes and allowed her to gently brush his cheeks with her thumb. Malath closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

"Come on," Lenia whispered, "We need our rest. Tomorrow is a big day."

Malath's brows creased, and his heart skipped a beat. Was he really going to Winterhold with her? But even as he asked himself that question he knew the answer was yes. He nodded, and she took his hand, leading him up to the second floor.

"Stay with me tonight. I don't think I can be alone."

"Of course," came Lenia's reply, without hesitation.

Malath was vulnerable. She had opened up a lot of old wounds.

Lenia led him into the bedroom and pulled the covers back, watching as the Orsimer climbed into bed sunk down into the covers with a tired sigh. His face was tear streaked and he looked worn out, but she felt her heart swell at the incredible breakthrough he had.

Lenia walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed in, unsure of what to do with herself. She didn't have to figure it out, for once she had tucked the covers around her, Malath moved closer. She instinctively reached her arms out for him.

He lay on his side and wrapped his arm around his waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Lenia wrapped her arms around him and held him close, feeling his breath tickle her skin.

"In case you were wondering," Malath murmured sleepily, "Arcadia and I didn't do anything."

"Oh?" Lenia inquired, a ripple of relief coursing through her. She wasn't sure why.

"She could talk your ears off," he mumbled, and his body relaxed as he began to fall asleep. Lenia couldn't suppress a small smile.

Exhausted, they were both asleep in a matter of minutes.