Chapter 8

Malath didn't understand himself sometimes.

Why did I choose to go with a mage of all people, to a place I hate more than anything…? I'll never know.

It must have been her charm, that sweet little smile, and caring nature. It was compelling. And bewitching. He didn't like it one bit.

The fact that Malath didn't ask for the help wasn't important, she was going to give it to him anyways. It bothered him how quickly she brought about these changes. She really had him good.

Malath also refused to admit to himself that he was out of shape. As the sky turned brighter, the sun had begun to seriously warm him up. It didn't help that he was desperately wanting alcohol. So much so that he felt jittery. Sweat began forming on his forehead and it dripped down his back, sweltering hot under the armor. He could just feel how disastrously out of shape he had become, as his calves started burning lightly with each step. The Orc's lungs felt rubbed raw trying to take in the fresh air. With each hour it grew worse, and yet he plodded on without complaint.

He was well aware of Lenia's presence beside him. Aware of her eyes on him. He knew she was watching to make sure he was alright, and that just fueled him to continue, to push harder.

"Malath."

Lenia's voice called out for the first time since they started walking. He was startled but continued his steady pace. He could feel the fiery burn of muscles that hadn't been used for ages screaming in agony.

"Malath," Lenia's voice persisted, and he continued to ignore her. "Perhaps we should stop and rest a while? It's nearly noon."

"Why?" Malath growled breathlessly, shooting the elf a glance.

She kept a pace back from him and did not look even a small bit phased by the walk.

"Cause I'm old and withered?"

"Malath…" Lenia replied quietly, catching up to him.

She laid a hand on his shoulder. Finally, Malath stopped, and rested his hands on his thighs, gasping for air.

"Drink," she commanded, handing him a water skin.

Malath accepted it and took a deep drink.

"You know you can't just throw yourself back into the swing of things full force. It'll take time to get your endurance and strength back."

"Pshaw!"

Malath spat at the ground and roughly pushed the water skin back into her hands. He started up at a brisk walk.

"You're such a stubborn Orc!" Lenia called after him, and after hastily stuffing the skin back into her satchel she effortlessly caught up with him.

"yeah… so… so what?" Malath replied, feeling his throat constrict tightly.

"We need to stop Malath, it's time for a bite to eat and rest. I'm not treating you any differently, I need a break too."

"You?" Malath replied, sneering.

He stopped walking and stared out at the plains of Whiterun hold, his chest heaving. Instead of taking the main road they had decided to cut through the land to save time. It was quite alright with him, considering how many times he had walked this landscape. Malath knew from experience that taking the well-known roads didn't always make it safe.

"You need to rest? You're just floating beside me, without so much as breaking a sweat."

"That's not true…" Lenia scoffed, and before he could stop her the girl caught his hand and brought it up to her forehead.

She pressed his palm against her soft gold skin. She was in fact, sweating, although nowhere near as much as the Orc.

"Okay okay," Malath grumbled, hastily retracting his hand from hers.

He silently thanked the chance to rest. Malath wouldn't let her see his relief, and he had to resist the urge to throw himself down on the ground. Instead, he gently lowered his pack and sank to his knees. He sighed quietly under his breath, and his legs praised him for giving them a break. It felt so wonderful. He almost didn't want to get back up again. Malath sifted through his pack and found a few strips of Horker jerky; which he hastily consumed, along with a bit more water. He could really go for some ale, but he was pretty sure that wasn't something they had packed. He was now left wishing he had smuggled some into his satchel and ignored the fact that his hands were beginning to shake.

Lenia sank down into the golden grass, and after retrieving her own meal she gazed out at the plains before them while she ate. Malath watched her inconspicuously, noticing that the wind had picked up a little bit and now played with the locks of her curly hair. Lenia paused to tuck a strand behind her pointed ear and smiled at him. Malath shook his head and forced his eyes away, gulping down a few more sips of water. Then he awkwardly clambered to his feet. It felt like almost an impossible task. He immediately felt like throwing up.

How did I ever wear armor? He thought weakly, growling quietly.

Piercing pain stabbed into his stomach as a wave of nausea flowed through him. It took a moment to get his bearings straight.

His body had not been prepared for the confines he had put it in. Malath knew it was only going to get worse before it got better. With that frustrating realization, he crossed his arms over his chest and stared pointedly at the elf. She hadn't noticed him stand up. He coughed.

"Ready?" Lenia asked, glancing over at him.

Malath nodded, and she began to put her things away. The girl rose gracefully to her feet and again smiled at him, to which he returned the gesture with a small scowl. The Orc stalked back down the unbeaten path, heading North.

They stopped for camp just after sunset. Malath was grateful to be sitting at noon, but he was even more grateful for the break now. His body had reached past the point of feeling pain and was entirely numb. He knew he'd feel the after-effects of having pushed himself too hard the next morning. Malath grimaced, not bothering to try and sit down with some dignity. He flopped down on to the grass. It was still warm from the day's sunshine. It rustled quietly, and his hearing picked up many sounds that he hadn't heard in a long time. Birds called to one another, the wind as it danced through the blades of grass and wheat. The sounds of nature that he had long since neglected to revel in as he drove deeper into his darkness. Back in Breezehome where he was all alone. Even the fresh air was healing. All those sounds came rushing to his ears full force. It was musical.

There was a crackle, and he glanced over to find Lenia lighting a fire with her mage-flames. She had gathered what wood she could find in the area and now set about preparing a hot meal. Malath didn't offer to help. He was grumpier than ever after the day's stroll. Although his body begged to sleep his mind was buzzing. He had felt the thrill creep up his spine when he first stepped foot outside Whiterun. The excitement of a new adventure, and, a slight fear. But he'd never admit it since he was not the same warrior he used to be when he was Dragonborn. Was. He supposed he still was the Dragonborn, but a useless one. There were no more dragons in Skyrim, at least no one had spotted them for over a year. Malath kept the knowledge of his one shout to himself; the one that would summon Odahviing. He'd probably be less than capable of defending himself and Lenia against anything more than a mudcrab.

Her voice brought Malath out of his thoughts.

"Malath? Are you okay? You're awfully quiet over there."

Malath turned his head and met Lenia's warm gaze, feeling a scowl cross his features.

"I'm tired," Malath replied simply, and my then his stomach growled. "Hungry too."

"Well, it'll be ready in a minute," Lenia told him quietly, and she turned back to the new cooking pot.

She had purchased it earlier in the morning while Malath had been rooting through crates.

Malath wearily dragged his hand across his face, silently berating himself for being such an ass to the girl. She was just trying to help him. However, he reckoned with himself a little bit, noting that it has been so long since he'd interacted with people.

She's just going to have to get used to it, he thought firmly, and then as an afterthought, by Malacath I could use a bottle or five of wine.

Malath could feel that familiar longing, the one that urged him to drink his troubles away. He had felt it throughout the day, but at night time it was always worse. If he were still at home he wouldn't have that problem, he'd be pissed drunk by the middle of the afternoon.

Malath went about setting up his bedroll, trying not to groan too loudly as his body protested against such movement. When he was finished Malath was handed a bowl of hot stew.

"Smells good," he mumbled, eagerly spooning a mouthful of potato and beef. He could admit by now that she was a decent cook.

"Thanks," Lenia replied softly.

Malath watched as she scooped a portion into her own bowl and then sat down across from him. By the firelight, he could see her clearly as she gently blew on a spoonful of stew. He resisted the urge to chuckle. He paid no heed to the temperature of his stew as he quickly gulped down his steaming food, and then served himself another.

"There are a few bread rolls," Lenia's voice called from his left, and Malath put the spoon back down.

For a moment he rooted in a satchel for the bread. Once he had found it he grabbed one for himself and tossed another to the elf.

"So," Lenia started after the Orc had sat back down with a murmur of curse words. "How was your first day back?"

"Back?"

"Yeah, back to work as an Adventurer."

"Oh."

Malath tore a chunk of the bread roll off with his teeth. He chewed for a moment, thinking. "Okay I guess, still wondering if this was a good idea or not."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Lenia inquired, and Malath shrugged. He took a deep breath.

"Even… even being back here, in a place I love…. I still want to drink my face off."

"Malath…"

Lenia paused as she went over to him. He frowned, but she did not try to touch him Instead she sat down on his bedroll.

"That's only natural. You've been sober for not even one day. I know this isn't going to be easy right away, but eventually, it will get better."

"I hope you're right," Malath replied, surprising himself by his response.

Lenia smiled up at him reassuringly, and he sighed.

"I hope you're right…"

Waking Malath the next morning was like rousing a sleeping Sabre cat. No, more like waking five Sabre cats. She'd never seen such an outburst from him before. It was almost amusing, except for the angry part.

"Malath…" Lenia called out softly, wary about getting too close to the guy.

He lay on his bedroll, snoring quite loudly, with his back to her.

"Malath!"

She poked his shoulder a few times, and then quickly retreated out of arms reach. It was a wise move. The Orsimer violently swung his arm out and then groaned, rolling onto his back. His eyes were still closed.

"Fuck off."

"Hey… I won't stand for verbal abuse mister. It's time to rise and shine!"

"I swear to God Lenia if you don't leave me alone…" Malath threatened, his voice full of anger.

"Come on, can't you feel the pain already?" She tried to reason with him. "The sooner you get up and moving, the better it will be."

He was silent. Lenia thought perhaps he'd fallen asleep again.

"Malath…?"

"By Malacath Lenia!" Malath roared, swiftly moving into a sitting position.

She watched, cowering by the ashes of last night's fire, as the Orc slowly realized just how much his body hurt. It was a sad sight.

"Oh Gods…" he mumbled, and his body began to tremble.

Lenia hesitated. She had a calming spell prepared and a health potion in one hand. But she didn't want to provoke the enraged Sabre.

"Lenia, Lenia oh Gods!" Malath whimpered, and she quickly rushed forward.

"Shh, shh Malath, everything's okay," Lenia whispered soothingly, rubbing his back.

His eyes were tightly closed, and she could tell he was resisting the urge to cry. His hands were bunched up into fists. Lenia cast her calming spell, letting it wash over him, and continued to rub his back.

"Drink this, you'll feel a bit better. It'll numb your pain to a dull ache."

Lenia continued to rub his back, her thoughts whirling.

I knew he was going to have some problems, an Orsimer hiding in his home for years was bound to have complications with his body. But perhaps this was not the best way to go about it. A gradual integration would have served him better. He also has severe withdrawal from alcohol, which I'm not exactly equipped to deal with.

She felt horrible. Once Malath had finished drinking the contents of the bottle he handed it back to her. Then he let out a shaky sigh, and his hands relaxed. The Orsimer slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the morning sunlight, and glanced over at Lenia.

"Next time let me fucking sleep," he growled, roughly pushing her arm back.

Lenia almost fell onto her rump but caught herself and stayed kneeling just in case. She was not angry. She watched Malath as he climbed unsteadily to his feet and stalked away from the camp. After a moment she also stood up and lightly brushed her clothes.

"Well, that wasn't too bad," Lenia spoke out loud, and then she waited for the grumpy Orc to come back.

Getting his armor back on was a nightmare, filled with a constant stream of curse words and empty threats to hit me.

"Maybe I should sleep in it," He growled, wincing when Lenia tightened the strap of his chest piece.

"No, that would be worse!" She exclaimed, softly whacking his chest.

She earned herself wordless growl.

"What day is it?" Malath asked after a minute, and she raised her eyebrow up in curiosity. "What?" he scoffed, "Orcs aren't allowed to know what day it is? Shall I just continue blundering blindly into the wilderness with you unaware of time and distance?"

"Calm down. Your question just seems out of the blue, that's all," Lenia replied quietly, stepping back. "It's the ninth of First Seed."

"Huh…" Malath replied quietly and he snorted.

"Okay. Let's go."

He began climbing the hill and Lenia followed closely behind him.

She watched Malath while they traveled. The day before he seemed uncomfortable and angry that she watched him. He was always scowling and glancing back at her. However today he stared ahead of him the entire time. It was almost as though he'd forgotten she was there. It made her very curious.

When they stopped for lunch at noon, Malath didn't protest. He wordlessly lowered his pack to the ground and sat on a small boulder. He began rummaging for food. Lenia watched him from a short distance, wondering what was on the Orsimer's mind that kept him so quiet. She sifted through her pack and retrieved a water skin.

"How are you feeling now?" Lenia called out, startling him. "Do you need another potion?" Malath looked over at her, and for a moment she thought he was seeing her for the first time.

"No… I'm alright."

His deep voice barely reached his ears, and she nodded, saying no more.

The rest of the day followed in the same matter. Lenia was beginning to grow more worried as the sun started setting. She didn't wish to push the Orc, but she was burning to know what he was thinking. As the sky was alight with the beautiful colors of a sunset, she watched Malath as he walked several paces ahead of her. His feet dragged considerably, and Lenia knew they needed to make camp soon. She opened her mouth to call out to him when all of a sudden, she heard a low growl. Freezing, Lenia quickly brought her hands up and prepared a strong firebolt in her palms. She peered around in the half-dark for the source of the growling. But when she glanced over at where she thought Malath would be, he was gone.

"Malath?" Lenia called out, her voice frantic.

There was a yelp, and then silence. Lenia crested the hill and spotted Malath standing over the corpse of a black-furred wolf. A howl echoed around them.

"There's another one," Malath growled, and she noticed the dark blood on his sword.

He looked tense, his forehead scrunched, and his stance was that of an experienced fighter. Lenia nodded, and they easily found the second beast, as it came charging towards them.

Stupid animal, Lenia thought to herself, as Malath stepped back and allowed her to use magic. The wolf yelped and fell lifelessly to the ground.

"We should make camp."

Lenia turned around and watched Malath wiped his bloody sword with a small piece of cloth. He then he placed it back in its sheath. The pair continued silently for a few feet until they reached a more sheltered area of rocks nestled between a few dead trees. Lenia lowered her pack to the ground and prepared to search for firewood when she heard his voice call out from farther away. He was yet again nowhere near the elf.

"I'm getting the wood," he explained, and Lenia watched his dark form grow smaller and smaller.

Lenia frowned and resolved herself to find to out what was up with the sullen Orc. She busied herself with preparing to cook dinner and set up her bedroll. She glanced over at Malath's pack and then quickly unrolled the Orc's sleeping mat as well. She sat down on her own and waited for his return. Malath arrived a little while later; a small pile of branches clutched to his chest. He lowered them to the ground. Lenia reached her hand out and allowed a small spark of flames to light the fire. She noticed the Orsimer when he winced slightly, and then shook his head.

Once dinner was happily cooking away in the pot, Lenia finally found the courage to talk to him.

"Hey, Malath?" Lenia called quietly, watching as he turned his head her way.

He had sat down on his bedroll immediately after she'd helped him take his armor off and stared at the fire silently.

"Yeah?" He grunted.

"Is there something important about the ninth of First Seed?" she inquired softly, not wishing to push the subject too hard.

Malath glanced over at the fire and was silent for a moment.

"It's almost to the day when my parents were murdered."

Murdered? That's terrible. Lenia was stunned.

"I understand, and I'm so sorry that happened to your parents Malath…" Lenia crawled closer onto his bedroll and took his hand.

It was smooth, though rougher than his own skin, and callous free.

"How did they… they…."

"It doesn't matter," Malath replied harshly, scowling at the fire.

He did not pull away from her touch, and she took that as a good sign.

"I'd rather just… forget about this."

"You don't have to go through things alone anymore. You know that right?"

Malath finally took his eyes off from the fire and looked down at Lenia. For a moment he was silent as they stared at one another.

"I know," he sighed. "It's just... this is happening so fast. I don't know how to feel. How to act. I could really use a barrel of ale right now."

"Just accept it for what it is." Lenia smiled, and she gripped his hand tighter. "We don't know each other very well, but you were kind to me even as a stranger. Even with your stubbornness and colorful temper," she joked, and Malath chuckled.

The sound warmed her heart. Lenia waited a few minutes before she finally stood up and finished dinner. This time they sat together on one bedroll and ate. Lenia had noticed that Malath's hands were shaking while he ate, and she wondered how much worse he felt on the inside. She knew he wouldn't reveal that to her if he could avoid it. He was still a proud Orc.

They sat by the fireside for quite some time, swapping pleasant stories about childhood memories, smiling and laughing a little as they took a trip down memory road. The atmosphere was light and nostalgic, but little did Lenia know the struggle that was still to come later that night.