#23

"Why?" Rogers and Romanoff asked in unison just as Bruce and Shuri asked, "How?"

Loki cursed silently. I told you that already, didn't I? Why can't you at least try to listen? "Because their use requires purity of intent," Loki replied, hoping that his voice would not convey his growing annoyance at the fact that the group of so-called heroes in front of him was determined to confront Thanos again even though they so obviously had tremendous difficulties in trying to grasp the true nature of the Infinity Stones. Loki sighed and repeated what they had told him about their imminent doom once more. "Apparently, their powers were never meant to be used for such monumental alterations to the universe and now that they have, the stones are, for want of a better word, compelled to destroy themselves to compensate for it."

"Why am I not surprised that his plan to wipe out half the universe might very well result in wiping out all of it?" Nebula snorted but none of the others replied. Again, Loki's explanation had left the assembled Avengers in front of him struggling for words.

"What makes you so sure of that?" Rogers asked eventually. "Nothing you told us proves for sure it couldn't have been Thanos who just came up with the entire imminent destruction of the universe story to lure you into a trap, so that you can take the remaining Avengers apart from the inside for him. You helped him once. Why not try to enlist your services again?"

"Because he kinda fucked up?" Stark reminded his companion. "He came to Earth with one Infinity Stone to retrieve another and lost both of them. I'm not sure Thanos would've had a whole lot of faith in him after New York."

So much for mitigating their feelings of resentment and distrust towards me, Loki thought sourly. "I would love to say that you just have to trust me, Captain," he jested, "but since I can hardly expect you to do that, let me ask you a question instead: Why would he seek me out if he thinks I am dead?"

"Because the glowing of the Stones and the, what did you call it, signature of your magic in it alerted him and showed him that you're not?" Bruce asked back.

Loki felt the familiar urge to lash out stir inside him when he realized just how little they were willing to believe he could be of any help to them; particularly after he had swallowed the bitter pill and revealed at least part of his misery to them. However, before he could say anything he would most definitely come to regret later, Thor, his face still a grimace of anger, rushed to his defense. "Or maybe you're all just trying to find reasons not to trust him."

"It's not as if there is a lot of evidence telling us that we can," the Black Widow pointed out but even as she said those words, Loki could see the expression of hostile distrust on her face soften into something that one could graciously interpret as ruefulness. She looked first at Thor, then at him. "No offense, really, but there is too much at stake here. You can't really expect us to pin all our hopes on the workings of your unstable mind."

The woman has a point, Loki. "What makes you think my mind is still that unstable? Do I really seem in any way crazy to you right now?" He stretched out his arms and mimicked an innocent smile. "I mean, come on, please. What makes you think I am not in full command of my mental faculties at this very moment?"

"Your facial expression changes about every thirty seconds," Shuri pointed out.

"And so does your voice," Bruce added. "It's unnerving, really."

Why did we think the mortals beneath us again? Some of them are so astute it is outright scary. Loki sighed. "Well, I can assure you my mind is a lot more stable than it used to be and you have nothing to fear." As long as I can keep the dark voice in the cesspit where it belongs.

"It's true," Thor agreed in voice that barely managed to contain his suppressed rage. "I swear to you that he is almost sane."

"But maybe," Tony Stark countered, his hickory-colored eyes suddenly alight with dark humor, "an insane mind is exactly what we need right now."

Pepper frowned. "Are you sure you are in full command of your mental faculties at this very moment, Tony?"

"A psychopath to fight a psychopath," Stark went on. "It's brilliant, actually."

"I'm not a psychopath," Loki protested at the same time as Pepper said, "It's dangerous and stupid."

"All I'm saying is that Icicle's mind over here comes up with stuff that might turn out to be quite useful against Thanos if we scrape off all the layers of crazy," Stark concluded.

Loki was not sure what had happened and when it had happened, but somewhere between Stark's threat to wipe the grin off his face on the plane and now, the self-proclaimed genius had started looking at him less and less with disdain and more and more with curiosity. By Hel, he seemed almost intrigued by Loki's delusions. "You make an insult like a compliment, Stark."

"It was a compliment," Stark conceded as he threw his hands up in the air. A few drops of his whiskey sloshed over the rim of his glass and splashed onto his shirt. "Well, half a compliment," he backpedaled. "Twenty-five percent of a compliment. I mean, no one can say it's not fascinating what's happening up there, right?" He indicated his temples with his index finger.

"Are you really being serious right now?" Rogers asked as Clint Barton exhaled a long breath and Pepper's forehead twisted into a suspicious frown.

"It's Tony," grumbled Thor. "What do you think?"

"Okay, enough with the banter. Where do we stand on this?" Natasha Romanoff asked, turning to Bruce. "I think we should take a vote."

"Before you do that," Loki chimed in, "consider one more thing for a moment: Why would Thanos tell me how to free the Mind Stone?"

"Because of what you said," Shuri replied. "They're bound to the Gauntlet, which is unusable. Maybe he plans to use you to get them out because he can't do it himself. And when you're done, he comes to collect them."

"That sounds like a plan of his," Nebula agreed.

"Another explanation why he would suggest such a thing is because it's simply impossible," Valkyrie added. "Wielding the stones and controlling their power from the outside is exertive enough but trying to internalize its power? All of it? That is madness."

Absolutely, Loki thought. It was sheer and utter madness; in other words, it was a very Loki thing to do. He flashed her a grin. "Madness is sort of my thing."

"And yet you claimed to be sane not two minutes ago," Bruce pointed out with an anxious smile tugging at his lips.

Oops. My bad.

"Loki, if this plan of yours really works—if you can really pull the stone's essence away with your mind—its power is going to kill you," Valkyrie insisted. Oh look, is that concern on her face? How sweet. "If Thanos knows you're alive again and still wants you dead, this is certainly the way to do it."

That or it might use this chance and take possession of me. I am not sure what would be worse.

The alarmed look on Thor's face told Loki that his brother had not even considered this possibility at all. "Wait, what?"

Sweet, simple Thor. Never one for thinking, were you? Loki gave a half-shrug that he hoped would conceal his own insecurity regarding that tiny little detail. The Infinity Stones might have faith in this endeavor and after everything that they had revealed to him about Asgard and his past, he knew he should probably believe them. Worse than that, however, Loki suddenly found himself overwhelmed by an inexplicable urgency to carry out the Mind Stone's instructions and his heart sank when he realized the possible implications behind that urge. Did it take possession of me again? Panic crept up the back of his neck. Are they right to assume Thanos is behind this? Or is it the Mind Stone itself? He flicked a suspicious glance towards the scepter's inanimate replica that Tony Stark was still holding in his hands. Am I truly acting out of free will right now?

Of course, you are, replied his God of Mischief voice. Earning their forgiveness and gratitude to extricate yourself from the dark voice's influence is what you want, is it not?

Loki drew a breath. This was what he wanted more than anything but how could he be certain that Mind had not planted the seeds of that want while he had lain unconscious, his thoughts vulnerable to cosmological interference?

Does it matter as long as we get rid of that foul-mouthed deviant?

He considered the question for a moment, turning it over inside his head, looking at it from all sides. I suppose not, Loki thought and forced himself to look his brother straight in the eye. "That is a very unlikely outcome. Just think about it. What good would it do if I died with the stone's power locked inside my mind?"

"You cannot possibly—" Thor growled but he was interrupted by a muffled sound similar to that of a crack opening in stone, which was followed by a near translucent glimmer of energy that wafted through the air and left behind a trail of faintly rainbow-colored sparks. Suddenly, the ground shook and reality blurred slightly at the edges of Loki's vision. Those who were standing instinctively stretched out their arms as if they were standing on the deck of a ship and needed to counterbalance the force of the waves. "What the hell," Rocket mumbled at the same moment Natasha Romanoff asked, "What is that?"

"An earthquake?" asked Pepper.

"This is no earthquake," Shuri replied with a grim look outside while all the following things happened at once: Thor reached for the Stormbreaker he had positioned against the kitchen counter and his Midgardian clothing metamorphosed into his Asgardian armor in flashes of white. Captain America sprang to his feet and his entire body tensed into attack mode. Tony Stark dropped his glass and tapped his chest and, out of nowhere, his armor materialized around his frame with a crackling noise. Valkyrie positioned herself protectively in front of Rocket and Pepper, whose eyes widened in disbelief; horror; bewilderment.

Loki's lips curled into a triumphant grin as he felt the magical signature ripple through the air. "Now, do you still think the unraveling of the universe is just a ruse, Captain?" he asked as, outside, the smudgy gray of the clouded night began to part, revealing a glimpse into broad daylight through an opening the size and shape of a small wormhole, the edges of which were shimmering in a faint green.

"The Time Stone," mumbled Nebula. "Do you really think that freeing the Mind Stone from the Gauntlet will stop the Stones from destroying themselves and undoing the fabric of the universe?"

"I don't know," Loki admitted. "But they are bound to the Gauntlet together and if one of them changes hands, it might break the curse. A new wielder who hasn't yet betrayed them might evoke their true spirit once more." Even to him, it sounded conclusive enough. "And even if it doesn't, it might at least buy us some time." He glanced first outside and then at the clock for emphasis. When no more objections came, he extended his hand once more. "Will you trust me with the scepter now?"

"I think so," replied Rogers. The others nodded in vague, hesitant agreement.

The clock read twenty-four minutes after ten when Iron Man handed him the scepter and Loki's fingers closed around the cold surface of its handle. The touch brought back the intense memory of a sense of power and superiority surging through him on Midgard when he had threatened the mortals with that scepter after lying helpless at the titan's feet for so long. Loki could almost taste their fear on his tongue and felt his body react as strongly to the sensation as if he was back on that forecourt in Germany. He suppressed a moan as he tightened his fingers around the scepter, thinking, Nice to see that this body part works no differently for Jotuns. "Does that mean I have your permission to proceed?"

Thor lunged out and wrenched the scepter from his hands. "Not a chance. We'll find another way."

"I suppose we don't really have the time to find another way," mumbled Iron Man with a jerk of his head towards the window. "Do it, Polar Boy."

Loki put his hands on the scepter and tried to pull it back. "Stop being stupid," he hissed. "Look outside, brother. This is our only chance right now and we are going to do this."

Thor held on to the scepter with all his thrice-damned muscle strength. "No."

"I thought you wanted me to have some sort of salvific experience?" Loki mocked quietly. "Well, this is it, I suppose." He pulled harder. "Now give me the scepter."

"Give him the scepter," said Rogers but Thor still held stubbornly on.

"Do you truly have so little faith in my abilities?" Loki snarled but quickly recollected himself upon the sight of his brother's expression. He held up both of his hands and took a step back. "Right. Foolish question. How is this then? Why do you think that I will fail to contain the stone's energy when your sweet little mortal girlfriend survived the full power of the Aether flowing through her veins?"

Valkyrie's jaw dropped. "What?"

"That … that was different," Thor stammered.

"Ah, yes? Different how?" Loki snapped. "Oh please, enlighten me, brother." Of course, he knew that it had been different. The Reality Stone had merely warranted a host. It had contained its power and never unleashed the whole of it into Jane Foster's mind the way the Mind Stone was planning to do. If it had, her mortal form would have shattered immediately. But Loki guessed that his brother was not aware of this and he guessed right. Thor bristled at Loki's impeachment, his fingers tightening around the weapons in both of his hands, and suddenly fell back into old patterns. "Have care how you speak to me."

Loki grunted his disapproval but even though Thor's resurfacing superiority complex was more than annoying, he did not take the bait. He is clearly agitated. Just leave him be. If he loses his temper again now, neither of you is going to earn the forgiveness of the Avengers any time soon.

"What is it with you guys?" Rocket asked Thor. "I mean, seriously? One minute, you want to protect him, the next you want to punch him in the face. You two really have a very weird relationship."

Valkyrie shook her head at the raccoon. "Not a good time."

"Weird relationship," Thor repeated before he heaved a deep sigh and continued to speak through clenched teeth, both the Stormbreaker and the scepter still gripped firmly in his hands. "Yeah, maybe relationships do get a little weird when you have to watch your own brother getting himself killed in front of your eyes again and again and again and you never know if it's gonna be for real or not!"

So, that's what this is about. He mourns for you and, oh boy, doesn't that feel good?

Shut up, Loki snapped. It was certainly not only that. Thor was anxious, yes, but he was also furious, which was quite understandable in the face of all the failures and the helplessness he was struggling against, but Loki sensed that there was still more to it than that. His brother's expression had hardened at some point after they had joined the Avengers and he could not begin to guess what was weighing so heavily on his mind.

"Brother, please," Loki pleaded softly and fixed his gaze on Thor as if they were the only two people left in the room. "You're embarrassing both of us right now." When Thor still made no move to release his grip on the handle, Loki paused and sifted through his inventory of dramatic speeches. "Don't you understand? The allfather is dead, Thor," Loki continued in a solemn whisper, summoning all his eloquence. "Technically, that makes you the allfather now and we both know that this is a position that demands great sacrifice. Your father understood this. He made unspeakable sacrifices so that you could grow up safe, happy and protected in the Golden City. And if you truly want to save this universe, it's about time for you to step up and do the same."

Next to him, Valkyrie let out a snort that was both derisive and admiring. Tears started gleaming in in his brother's eyes. "I'm not ready to make this kind of sacrifice," Thor replied hoarsely. "Not again. There must be another way and we're gonna find it."

A slow, grateful smile touched Loki's lips and he felt his own eyes sting a little. "You have to be ready," he whispered and yanked the scepter from Thor's loosening grip. "Now."

Feeling all eyes on him, Loki took the replica of the Mind Stone out of its casing in the scepter. "It's purple," he mumbled to distract himself from the lump of fear that was forming inside his throat.

"It's raw vibranium," Shuri said by way of an answer.

Loki's fingers closed around the gem. "I am going to do it now," he whispered in a voice that was dripping with reluctance. "And whatever happens, do not try to interrupt me. If I lose the connection while the stone's energy is still inside my mind, well, I suppose you can all imagine what happens to me."

Thor gulped so loud that the noise echoed through the room. From the corner of his eye, Loki saw Valkyrie move closer to his brother.

His stomach vibrating with fear, Loki closed his eyes and quickly recalled to his mind a few memories of the past twenty-four hours. Thor drawing him into his muscular arms after Loki had spent almost a decade deprived of any meaningful physical contact; Thor's acknowledgment of Loki's strength; Thor's assertion that he did not regret to have brought his little brother back; Thor's promise that Loki was not alone unless he chose to be. He cherished the memories for a moment before he visualized a small treasure chest, placed them inside and murmured a locking spell that secured the chest with a mental latch. No matter what happens, Loki thought defiantly, these are mine and nobody is going to take them away from me.

He steeled himself with one last breath and then conjured up the dreamscape with its forested hills, zooming in on the scarecrow, the wooden cabin, the porch, the marred Gauntlet resting on it. The Mind Stone softly called his name as he closed his fingers tighter around the stone and his astral projection landed on the grassland. I am here, whispered Loki as his fingers curled around the scepter's handle in the physical world. I have the vessel.

The Gauntlet released the Mind Stone's incarnation just as it had done before. Good. Focus on it. Fix it in your mind so that I can find it quickly and then let me in.

Suddenly, Loki felt another presence. He jerked around and saw the titan sitting on a rock nearby, staring directly onto the porch, his purple forehead wrapped in a deep frown. Loki stumbled backwards, his chest tightening with a fear so intense that it left him numb and paralyzed, gasping for air. He instinctively tried to break out of the dream but the Mind Stone was faster and held him back with such a force that his vision began to swim.

Pay him no attention. This is your dream, Loki. He is merely a projection of your fear. He can't see you. Now, make haste.

Loki blinked to coerce his surroundings back into focus and timidly glanced at the titan, who, even though he seemed to be looking directly at him, gave no sign of recognition. But won't he see your colors sparkle and then fade? Loki asked, his voice trembling. And what will happen to the Gauntlet and the other stones if you are gone?

I am sure it will suspend our compulsion to self-destruct.

And if it doesn't?

Well, in that case, the universe is going to implode and all of you are going to die. Mind flashed him a slow, hesitant smile. Which is also what I can assure you will definitely happen soon if you do not get me out of here now.

Loki did not find the words to reply.

It is simple, really, said the Mind Stone. Are you going to choose the scenario in which death is a certainty or the one in which it is merely a possibility?

Possibility sounds better, I suppose, Loki allowed.

I thought so. Now, focus on the vessel and open your mind to me.

Loki gulped down the fear that he would die another painful death at the hands of an Infinity Stone—or Thanos—and took a deep breath before he did as instructed. For what must have been minutes, he felt no different but, suddenly, all of the Mind Stone's energy seemed to pour into his head at once; and instantly set every nerve in his brain on fire.

Author's Note:
- While writing this, I had parts of Sound of Silence stuck in my ear, so here are the lyrics that go with it:
"Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence"
- And oh, I couldn't quite resist including Tony's comment about percentages.