Vormir was a beautiful planet. You had only been to space once before and that had ended with the death of not only the Mad Titan but also your cumulative hope to bring back half of all living creatures. Besides, now you were here with your best friend, your saviour, your soulmate.
You and Barton had been tasked with retrieving the soul stone to complete the new infinity gauntlet Tony was planning on building. You had reached the highest mountain and were both thoroughly spooked when Red Skull made his appearance.
"What you seek lies in front of you... as does what you fear."
Looking to where he was gazing, all you could see was a steep cliff. Walking near it you looked down and saw nothing but the foot of the mountain.
"The stone is down there?"
You were questioning the floating been since he obviously knew more than he was saying.
"For one of you. For the other... In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul."
Both you and Clint stiffened before you sat down on a nearby log while Clint began pacing. Silence over took the two of you until Clint finally spoke.
"How's it going? Jesus...Maybe he's making this shit up."
Clint was panicking, you had known him long enough to notice that. He was cursing under his breath and running his hand through his hair.
"No. I don't think so."
"Why, 'cause he knows your Daddy's name?"
"I didn't. Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It's not a coincidence."
"Yeah."
Clint's eyes looked with yours and it left you breathless. One of you wasn't leaving this mountain, one of you wasn't ever going to see the rest of the gang again. The only question was, who?
Mustering up what little courage you had gathered over the last ten years, you spoke in a clear, confident voice.
"Whatever it takes."
His gaze was unwavering.
"Whatever it takes."
You stood up and made your way closer to your soulmate, speaking as you walked.
"If we don't get that stone, billions of people stay dead."
"Then I guess we both know who it's gotta be."
"I guess we do."
Before you could pass your friend and walk closer to the edge he grabbed your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours.
"I'm starting to think– we mean different people here, Natasha."
His voice wavered, it was faint and nobody would have caught it but you were trained to notice those things. Looking back into Clint's tired eyes you spoke your piece.
"For the last five years I've been trying to do one thing: Get to right here. That's all it's been about. Bringing everybody back."
"Oh, don't you get all decent on me now."
"What, you think I wanna do it? I'm trying to save your life, you idiot."
"Yeah, well, I don't want you to, because I– Natasha, you know what I've done. You know what I've become."
Within the last five years Clint had left his life on his farm and became a notorious vigilante. He used the brewing chaos of the snap to impose his own justice on the world. He was what you once were. But just like he did for you, you pulled him out of it. You gave him a new purpose.
There was a chance that they, the Avengers, could reverse everything Thanos did. Everyone who had been lost could possibly be brought back. He could get back his family. You swallowed at the hopeless look on his face.
"I don't judge people on their worst mistakes."
"Maybe you should."
"You didn't."
"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"
You smiled at your longtime friend and leaned closer to him. Both of you touched foreheads and simply breathed together before Clint whispered to you.
"Okay. You win."
All of the air left left your lungs as your soulmate hurled you to the ground. He looked at your downed form and took off his arrow sling.
"Tell my family I love them."
Fueled by anger and annoyance you threw yourself at him and pinned him underneath you.
"You tell them yourself."
You electrocute Clint and run towards the cliff. Clint got up and shot an explosive arrow knocking you down, taking the opportunity to run and jump off the cliff. You jumped down after him and hooked him up to a grappling hook secured to the top of the mountain.
He tugged on the hook and cursed when he realized he'd lost, the only thing stopping you from falling was his hand that was tightly holding onto yours. He looks down at your face and breaks.
"Damn you!"
You smile, at the very least, the last thing you would see before passing would be your best friend's face.
"Let me go."
"No. Please, no."
Clint was crying, he was desperately holding onto your hand and the grappling hook, obviously trying to save you both. A thick ball formed in the back of your throat but you spoke around it.
"It's okay."
"Please– No!"
You gave your soulmate one last watery smile before kicking off the wall, effectively getting out of his grip and free falling for about fifteen seconds. The entire time you looked at your soulmate, the man who had given you a new purpose in life aside from killing.
You lived the last half of your life atoning for all of the sins you had committed in the first half, providing your skillset to anyone in need. You had made some eccentric, powerful friends. You had become an aunt to three beautiful children. You had finally become someone you were proud to be. Moments before you hit the ground your mind replayed a conversation you had with the Madame of the Red Room just before your graduation ceremony.
"The ceremony is necessary for you to take your place in the world."
"We have no place in the world."
"Exactly."
The Madame was wrong, you did have a place in the world and it was beside the Avengers.
Tony and Steve were above you, they were wearing their quantum suits and they were both crying. Behind them the rest of the remaining avengers were looking at your downed form and the cliff.
"Nat, Nat, are you still there? Natasha! Natasha, answer me!"
Steve was shaking you, he was shaking you and screaming at you and crying at the same time. Tony was asking FRIDAY to take note of your vitals, and start the process of preserving your body. Steve asked why you were responding, only to be answered by Nebula.
"This has to have been the Soul Stone's doing. Each of the Infinity stones acts like a living organism, they can choose to work as intended or not at all. Romanoff should have died from that jump, Gamora did, that's how Thanos received the Soul Stone the first time. The reason she's breathing right now is most likely a result of the stone acting on its own. It's keeping her alive, that's why Clint didn't receive the stone."
"Then what are we supposed to do now? FRIDAY is picking up breathing and a heartbeat but no brain activity. We have five of the six stones and you said Thanos knows we're here looking for them. This spells all kinds of trouble."
For once Tony was the one being calm while Steve kept holding your body close to him. Behind them, everyone else was chattering away and trying to make sense of the situation. A loud beeping from Tony's monitor caught everyone's attention.
"Holy shit, alright FRIDAY is picking up startling levels of gamma radiation coming from Nat's body. Like Capsicle, you're gonna want to suit up completely if you want to keep holding her like that."
Everyone did so and watched as your body was covered in an orange mist. Nebula broke the awestruck silence.
"I can't believe it, the stone... it's using her body."
Steve was beginning to panic again.
"What? What the hell is it using her body for?!"
"I'm not sure, I don't know enough about the stones to give you an answer."
Before anyone else could say anything FRIDAY alerted everyone to an airship entering the atmosphere.
"Shit, alright here's what we're going to do. Tony, Nebula, we're taking Nat's body back with us. If what Nebula said is right then maybe there's a way to get the soul stone without killing Nat. Everyone has enough Pym Particles to make it back right? Good. Let's go before Thanos tries taking Nat- Holy shit GET DOWN!"
The last thing you saw was an enormous ship reigning fire onto your family.
You woke to the feeling of suffocating. You tried to breathe in but your throat was too swollen to do so. Panicking, you failed to notice four chakra signatures closing in on you. Tears were streaming down your face as you held a green hand up to your throat and your chest, slowly reversing the effects of an asthma attack.
Once you took your first deep breath, a new wave of emotions hit you like a tidal wave.
What the hell was that? Why would the team go back for your body if they knew Thanos was after the stones again? What the hell did they mean by "the stone is using her"? Were you actually dead? Does the soul stone using you, tie into you being reborn into this body?
Again your breathing began getting difficult though it was for a completely different reason. Back in your old life, panic attacks were like daily reminders that you were still human, that despite everything you did for a living, you still were capable of human emotion. Your panic attacks were triggered as a response to any over emotional situation.
Feeling yourself die and then seeing your friends after dying had to have been one of the most emotional situations you have ever been in. The deer around you tried comforting you while you bawled like a child, their fur was so soft as it rubbed against your wet cheeks.
Forcing yourself to calm down, you took deep breaths and began singing an old nursery rhyme to yourself. While doing this the sound of leaves rustling around you had you sitting straight, alert. You scanned your surroundings, not once stopping your singing, weaving your chakra throughout the area. Your eyes widened when you felt four chakra signatures surrounding you, listening to you sing softly to yourself.
Once you finished your song, you calmed yourself. This wouldn't be like two years ago, you were weak then but now you were strong. You would defend yourself like the shinobi you were, not relying on your liar of a father to come save you.
Using your chakra to get an idea of their positions you prepared yourself to attack. Deciding to attack the one to your right first, you grabbed two kunai from your pouch and breathed deeply. Body flickering behind the attacker you brought down both knives, intending to have them imbedded into the meat of their shoulders. The person was quick to move out of the way and spoke before you could attack again.
"Imouto stop! It's me Shikamaru, don't be afraid."
Oh.
You lowered your kunais but still kept your glare. You were still upset about the event from three days ago. Shikamaru had obviously kept some sort of information regarding your father's neglect from you and that was highly unacceptable to you. Tapping your foot against the tree branch you were using as a pedestal, you waited for the three stooges to appear beside your brother.
Sure enough, three more figures joined your brother. You stared at each one and tried to take in their appearance. When it began glaringly obvious that it was too dark to make out their faces you formed the hand seals for chidori and let it light up the space between you and them.
They were tired, dark circles rimmed their eyes and their posture was more dogshit than it usually was. They looked like they hadn't eaten or showered since you were gone, something you found stupid and disgusting.
Keeping your chidori running you eyed them one last time before dispersing your chakra and leaping down to the forest floor. You didn't say a word as you turned and walked in the direction you knew the Nara compound was in. Behind you the four shinobi followed you, thinking of the right words to say.
The five of you had exited the forest and were closing in on the head household when Ensui tried to crack a joke.
"Well I'll be damned, with hair like that you look more Uzumaki than Nara!"
Maybe things would be easier if I was, I wouldn't have to worry about being surrounded by liars because I'd either be alone or dead.
You didn't react to your uncle's attempt at a joke about your appearance, you simply wanted to get home, shower, bandage yourself and then sleep for the rest of the week.
The rest of the walk home was spent in an awkward silence. Opening the door to your house you were shocked to see all of your friends and family in the living room. Upon entering the house, you were tackled by your mother, she was asking you a plethora of questions that you weren't going to answer.
"Ayumi! Where have you been?! Do you know how worried we've all been? Why didn't you come home? Why do you look so beat up? Your..your hair! Ayumi, your beautiful hair! What did you do?!"
You pried your mother's hands off of you and reached down to take off your beaten sandals, the house was quiet despite the large amounts of people inside. You were ignoring and dodging any attempts your mother made towards you, not caring if you were hurting her feelings or being disrespectful.
"Nara Ayumi, your mother is speaking to you. Answer her."
And there was your father, trying to assert his position as head of the household by getting you to answer your mother. You ignored him as well and began to slowly make your way towards the stairs only to be blocked by Kakashi. He was smiling while reading his favorite book but you were in no mood to play along with his shenanigans.
"Move."
"Mah what was that chibi-chan? Sounded like disrespect to me."
"Move."
"Why don't you answer our questions first and then I'll see about moving. Also, you might want to consider showing respect to those you speak to, I'm pretty lenient about it but I can already see the rest of the party is growing angry."
You were beyond done with everyone's bullshit at this point so you took what little chakra your body had replenished and body flickered behind Kakashi. You were only able to make it up one step before your arm was grabbed and you were roughly pulled back into the living room.
You made no attempts to escape the firm grasp, instead choosing to go limp as the hands maneuvered your body to sit on tatami mat. You kept your head bowed as you replayed the dream you had while in the forest, your mind was trying to desperately make sense of what you had seen but it couldn't, resulting in a very strong migraine.
You winced when your father asked you the same questions as before, his voice was rising and he was releasing small amounts of killing intent. You kept quiet, deciding to fall into your mindscape and try to make sense of what you had seen while asleep.
Shikaku wasn't good at disciplining his children, mostly because his children never needed it. He knew he had messed up, he knew his daughter was hurting but that did not excuse the type of behavior she was displaying in front of her mother and guests.
His youngest was currently sitting on the tatami mat, spacing out and completely ignoring any questions anyone asked her. His patience was slowly slipping away and it seemed everyone could tell, his brother and Asuma were trying to diffuse the situation with excuses, Inoichi and Choza were trying to convince Shikaku to do this in a more private setting on another day but he refused. Ayumi had blatantly disrespected his wife and she needed to be reprimanded.
"Ayumi."
No response, not even a twitch of her finger.
"Nara Ayumi, you will apologize to your mother for disrespecting her earlier. Then you will apologize to everyone here for worrying them. Are you listening to me? Nara Ayumi!"
Still nothing. Patience completely gone, Shikaku hauled his daughter up by her arm, not caring about the amount of force he was using. His wife tried to calm him but it was no use.
"Shikaku, just leave her be. I'm sure she's had a rough few days, give her time to rest bef-"
"No Yoshino. I may be a lazy has-been but I will not tolerate disrespect, especially from my own child. Nara Ayumi, this is your final chance to apologize before I have to discipline you."
Shikaku waited exactly five seconds for any response from his daughter before bringing his hand back, Yoshino and Shikamaru were trying to get him to stop but no one made any move to stop him. Bringing his hand down in one swift motion, his own eyes widening at the amount of chakra he used, his hand came in contact with the soft cheek of his youngest. The sound echoing in the dead silent room.
As Shikaku brought his hand down, Ayumi brought her hand up to touch the now reddened cheek. Her breathing was coming out in small puffs as she moved her head to lock eyes with Shikaku's. His breath caught in his throat when he noticed the tears welling up in his baby's eyes.
"Y-you..you h-hit me."
Shikaku steeled his emotions and kept his voice firm.
"Your behavior is unacceptable, you've disrespected everyone in this room. You've brought dishonor onto the Nara clan, you had to be disciplined."
"..Dishonor? I brought dishonor to YOUR clan?"
"Don't you dare raise your voice at me. I am your father, you will re-"
"You are not my father! You have no right to say shit about me disrespecting you when you blatantly ignored me for the last two years. Nobody in this room deserves my trust and respect when they all lied to my fucking face about you loving me! You're all liars, liars, LIARS, LIARS!"
With strength he hadn't known she possessed, Ayumi yanked her arm out of his grasp. When she did so a loud pop was heard, causing everyone to gasp. Shikaku instinctively reached out to try and calm down his daughter but she slapped his hand and backed away from him.
"Why the fuck would I show respect to someone who never respeted me? Do you think I'm stupid? Do you think I'm some stupid, weak little girl who's incapable of higher thought? I knew you wanted me to be some sort of clan politician, I knew you never believed I could become a shinobi! Why would I respect a woman or man who never supported me!"
"It was for your own goo-"
"Fuck that! It's not your choice to decide what I do with my life!"
"It is when I know the decisions you would make would put your life at risk!"
"Who cares if I put my life at risk? It's MY life, not yours, not Yoshino's, not ojisan's, not even the goddamn hokage's! It's my life, I can do whatever the fuck I want with it!"
"So you would rather die a senseless death than live? Is that what you're trying to say?!"
"If it meant being away from you then yes! One hundred times yes!"
Shikaku couldn't say a word after hearing his child just admit to wanting to die than live with him. Had he really messed up that badly? Ayumi was breathing hard, her face was swollen with tears and her cheek was decorated in a large hand shaped bruise.
"Do you think I like living like this Shikaku? Do you think I like feeling like a complete failure, like feeling ostracized by my own village for my intellect? I know my health isn't the best, I know how disappointed you must feel to know you created a sickly human being of little worth. I just… I hoped that maybe, since I was your blood, you would try to support me, even just a little…"
And if Shikaku didn't already feel like complete shit then he sure as hell did now. Before he could say anything Ayumi began talking again, her small voice cracking.
"But I don't need your support anymore. I don't need the village's support anymore. I don't need anyone's support anymore because I am strong. I'm not a toddler running away from her attackers anymore. I am strong. I took out two chunin level shinobis easily and I'm sure I could take anyone else on. I am strong. Stronger than anyone else. Tsunade-sama acknowledged that strength, she's the only one who believed in my dream."
Ayumi slowly brought her good hand to her chest, letting it rest right above her heart.
"The Hokage believes me to be strong enough to defend this village, she's seen the effort I put forth and rewarded me accordingly. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter, I proved myself to be worthy of a headband and even when I made the decision to turn it down, the point was still proven. I am strong, I don't need a family to believe in me and support me, I can do that on my own. Even if I mean nothing to you, Shikaku, I mean something to her."
Shikaku could only watch as his daughter brought her hand down again and tried repositioning her shoulder, shuffling closer to a wall to help her pop it back in. The room was dead silent after that, what else could be said? Shikamaru tried reasoning with the small soon to be shinobi but she quickly shot him down.
"Imouto, no one has ever said you were worthless. Your illness doesn't define who you are, it doesn't make you less of a human being than all of us. We and the entire village have always loved you."
"That's not true, Shikamaru and you know it. Before I began training I was known as the "sick Nara child", after Tsunade took me in I was regarded as the "next Uchiha Itachi". Do you know how sick that is? Not just for the implication that I'd slaughter my clan but because they view Itachi as just that, a murderer. How much pain do you think he must have been in, how much pressure was he under from his clan and village? He was the Uchiha clan heir, and anbu commander and still found time to spend with his younger brother. Someone like that doesn't just snap and kill their clan."
"Imouto, what are you trying to say? What are you implying..?"
"...nothing. Forget it. It's late, I need to shower and sleep. Goodnight everyone."
Ayumi began to walk away but abruptly stopped and turned, facing Shikaku and glaring at him.
"And Shikaku, don't you ever hit me again. I don't give a shit if you gave half of your DNA to create me, no man or woman is ever allowed to hit me without consequence."
And just like that Ayumi was walking up the stairs to her room. No one made a move to stop her, everyone was too shocked by everything that had happened within the last hour. Yoshino was full blown crying in her spot, Shikamaru was utterly confused and concerned for his baby sister, Ensui was furious at Shikaku and himself for being gone so often and Shikaku wanted to die. He knew he had hurt Ayumi by ignoring her but he hadn't known about her believing herself to be worthless, much less of the villagers abuse towards her.
Had he really neglected her that much? Was she right to say he didn't deserve to be her father?
Bringing him out of his thoughts was Inoichi's voice.
"It's become glaringly obvious that there are more layers to Ayumi-chan's behavior. Shikaku, Yoshino, don't be discouraged by this encounter, right now she probably felt cornered by all of us being here. There were a few comments made by her that have me very concerned but now is not the time to deal with that. Keep showing her that you love her, with time she'll heal enough to revisit what was discussed tonight. Don't worry about seeing us out, the four of you have enough to discuss as it is. I'll check in tomorrow."
With that said, everyone who wasn't a Nara left Shikaku's broken home.
The next few days passed by with little progress. Ayumi would wake up before anyone else and leave for the day, only coming home to shower and sleep. Yoshino would make her daughter bento boxes for the day but they were never touched. Shikamaru had tried, on multiple occasions, to invite his sister out for ice cream but she turned him down everytime. Shikaku had tried countless times to play a game of shogi with his youngest but she always ignored him.
Nobody knew where Ayumi spent the majority of her days, any attempt to trail her ended in failure. All the family knew was that the youngest Nara was coming home everyday with fresh cuts and bruises, her chakra would be depleted and she'd be too tired to stay up for more than an hour.
The family so desperately wanted to shower the girl in love and affection but they knew she wouldn't react well to that. Keeping Inoichi's advice in mind they continued trying to show their love for Ayumi in small ways.
You woke to a consistent tapping on your window, you tried ignoring it, maybe if you paid it no attention it would go away. It didn't. Muttering curses you forced your aching body out of bed and closer to the window, groaning when you saw that it was a messenger hawk. You retrieved the mission slip from the bird before shutting your window and returning to bed.
The message was from Tsunade, she had found a temporary genin team for you to join and you were expected to meet with them at 10 am in her office. Despite your decision to not accept a hitai-ate, she believed you needed more "hands-on" experience of the shinobi life. So, while you weren't an official genin of Konoha, you would be put into a team to see and feel what it's actually like.
Checking the clock next to your bed you cursed loudly at the digits displayed: 9:27 am. You dressed yourself in a custom made standard shinobi issued uniform before freshening up in the restroom. Making sure your burgundy hair was tightly braided into dutch braids you descended the stairs.
Your family was eating breakfast when you made your appearance, shocked at the fact that you were actually home your mother was quick to question you.
"Sweet pea, what are you still doing here? You're usually gone by the time we're all awake."
She was right, the last few days you had spent training with Fū and Torune. You would leave early in the morning and not return until late at night. Your mother would always leave a fresh bento for you to take with you but you never did. You knew she was trying, your brother and father were as well. Deep down you knew she wasn't at fault for your hurt feelings, she was doing what she thought was best for you and the family and yet here you were, ignoring her and blaming her. Deciding to put forth effort on your end as well you answered her question.
"I'm really sore from training so I slept in. Tsunade-sama sent a message though, she's found a temporary genin team to place me on. I'm supposed to meet them in her office at 10."
You glanced shyly at your mother, guilt rising when you took in her shocked expression at your response. She quickly schooled her features and continued the conversation.
"Oh that's great Ayumi-chan! But you're not a genin?"
"She wants me to experience a genin's life before I decide on accepting my hitai-ate."
"Oh..well are you excited to finally be on a team?"
"I wouldn't say 'excited'. I'm more so scared that they'll belittle me for my age."
This time it was your brother who answered you.
"You don't have to worry about that imouto, once they see your skill for the ninja arts they'll be begging you for tips and tricks."
You couldn't help but smile at that, hoping that what your brother was saying would be true.
"I hope so. I have to leave now if I want to make it on time. I'll...I'll try to be home for dinner today, mother. Thank you for the bento boxes you've been making. Have a good day at work aniki, Shikaku."
You were blushing brightly by the time you had finished speaking, being civil with the people you had called 'liars' a few days ago was truly embarrassing. Taking to the roofs of the village to bypass the angsty villagers, you prayed that your teammates wouldn't be stuck up assholes.
"Team Ebisu, this is your new temporary teammate. Go on, introduce yourselves."
Standing in front of you was your new genin team. Going off looks alone, they looked about average. One had adorable round glasses and a runny nose, another wore a long scarf and was actually pretty handsome despite his young age. The only female of the team was giddy with excitement, her eyes would not leave yours as she bounced on the balls of her feet. The jounin looked pretty plain and boring, he didn't carry a porn book or cigarettes around making him boring in your books.
"Hai, Hokage-sama. My name is Ebisu, I am the jounin instructor of this team. I will do my best to teach you and keep you safe."
"Hello, I'm Ise Udon. I love algebra and don't really like fighting. I hope we get along."
"My name is Sarutobi Konohamaru and I'm going to become Hokage once I'm older! I aspire to surpass Naruto niichan and bring honor to my grandfather's legacy!"
"Hi! I'm Kazamatsuri Moegi and I absolutely hate perverts! Being the only girl on the team is hard work but now that you'll be joining us I'm sure things will get easier!"
Right, well Udon seems like a sensible dude. I'm sure he'll be easy to get along with. Konohamaru is passionate and clearly regards Naruto as his role model, cute. Moegi seems a bit...I don't know actually. I'll have to get a better read on her later. And Ebisu is a total by-the-books type of guy. Not the worst but also not the best. Well Natasha, this is your new version of the Avengers for now.
"My name is Nara Ayumi. It's a pleasure to meet all of you and I sincerely hope we can all learn to become strong together."
From there you were told to meet the team tomorrow morning at training ground 22 for your first D-rank mission. Once team Ebisu left, you turned to your ex shishou and frowned at her amused expression.
"Why are you laughing shishou?"
"Oh no reason, Ebisu has absolutely no idea what he's getting into with you on his team though. I'm just imagining the mental breakdown he'll inevitably have within the next few weeks."
"You're sadistic shishou, thank you though. For giving me this opportunity."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever gaki. I get what you're trying to say. Just enjoy your last day off. You really suck at emotional talks ya know?"
Smiling widely at your hokage, you body flickered back to the Nara compound, though instead of heading back towards your house, you slowly walked to the administration building located at the far end of the compound, right next to the medicine and research labs.
Entering the administration building you were welcomed with rough carpet floors and elderly Nara woman. She looked up from her sudoku book and nearly shrieked at your form.
"Ayumi-sama, what can we help you with today?"
"Ah I've come to fill out the necessary paperwork for new shinobi. Everything from life insurance to clan levys, if that wouldn't be too much of a hassle for you."
This was the part of becoming a shinobi no one spoke about, the endless paperwork. There were obvious pros and cons to belonging to a clan when becoming a shinobi. A pro of having a clan was the backing. Once you establish yourself as a loyal and splendid ninja you could try to obtain a higher military or political office and your clan would support you the entire way.
The biggest con to having a clan would be the levy every shinobi has to pay. For every mission a ninja from the clan takes, 60% of the pay goes back to the clan in order to pay for weapons and medicine and other necessities. While in hindsight it doesn't sound too bad, when you're barely getting paid for D-rank missions the levy hits hard.
"Don't worry Ayumi-sama, it's no hassle at all. Let me grab all of the paperwork from the back, please make yourself comfortable."
Sitting on the plush couch in the corner of the room your mind wandered briefly before a prominent Nara clan elder walked into the building. Nara Enchū had been a Nara clan adviser since before your father was clan head. He started his career as a shinobi, building a reputation amongst the elemental nations before retiring from the field and becoming involved with politics.
He had been one of your biggest supporters when you started learning politics three years ago, now however, you feared what he may say about your choice of lifestyle.
Standing and bowing low to him you treated him as respectfully as you could.
"Enchū-sama, it's a pleasure to see you here today. How have you been?"
"... Ayumi-chan is that you? My, my you sure have grown since I last saw you! What could you possibly be doing here? You've become a genin?"
"Ah not yet Enchū-sama. I've decided to pursue my dream of becoming a splendid kunoichi of the Nara clan but have not yet accepted my hitai-ate. I received a genin team to test out the lifestyle, hence why I'm here. While I do not yet feel that I am mature enough to become a genin I do wish to serve my village with my skills."
"But why? Your skills in diplomacy are unmatched by anyone, why would you give that up for the life of a ninja? You were going to bring honor to the Nara clan through politics."
"Enchū-sama, I will bring honor to the Nara clan. Despite my choice of becoming a kunoichi, I'd like to stay involved with the political world. Diplomacy is second nature to me, just as shinobi skills are, I know I can prove myself in both. Please understand, honorable elder."
You bowed deeply once again at the end of your tirade. It was quiet for a second, the only sound being the tick of the clock hanging on the wall across the entrance. A large hand on your head had you relaxing slightly.
"If you truly believe you are capable of maintaining a pristine reputation in both areas then I will support you. Keep in mind that it is your duty as the daughter of the clan head to become someone of worth. Seeing as you've already proven yourself to become a genin at such a young age, I'm guessing it won't be too difficult for you to do Ayumi-chan. Deciding to hold off on your official hitai-ate until you deem yourself mature enough is a good sign as well. "
"Thank you, honorable elder."
"Of course. Oh and please don't ever ruin your image like you have right now. You are a Nara, not an Uzumaki. Be proud of your dark hair."
That was the last thing he said to you before disappearing behind a door labeled, "Archives".
Oh I'll have to see what that room contains later.
Before you could really plot anything else, the woman from before returned. In her arms were at least forty pages worth of documents you needed to read and sign. Sighing you settled yourself back into the couch and began reading.
"Udon at point A."
"Konohamaru at point B."
"Ayumi at point C."
"Moegi at point D."
"Alright wait for my signal...Now!"
Jumping down from your perch on a tree branch, you and Konohamaru dove towards Tora, effectively trapping her in both your arms. Udon and Moegi let out loud yells of glee at the same time Tora began scratching your arms.
"Ahhh get it off before I kill it! Get it off, get it off! Ow ow fucking shit ow!"
"Ayumi-chan you must not use such language! As shinobi it is our duty to keep the peace and do the jobs civilians can't do. A shinobi must always complete their tasks with a smile on their face."
Ebisu gently removed the cat from you and Konohamaru while lecturing you on your language. You understood where he was coming from and actually agreed with it but Tora's claws were as sharp as kunais and had drawn blood from your arms.
"Sorry Ebisu-sensei, Tora's claws are really good weapons."
Before you could reach for your own ointment and bandages, Konohamaru was doing it for you. His fingers were gentle and nimble, he apologized softly when applying the ointment knowing it stung and offered a bright smile once he had finished.
"Tora's claws really dig into your skin when you catch her. I have plenty of experience applying ointment and bandage on my own arms so I thought I'd help you out kore!"
You blushed at his kind actions and words, he reminded you of Scott Lang. Scott had joined the Avengers during the year of the Sokovia Accords, he was a kind and goofy man who always puts his daughter's safety and happiness above anything else.
Often when working with the Avengers, his protective fatherly side would emerge. If someone got hurt while training he was the first one to ask if you were okay, if you missed lunch or dinner he would make sure to bring you a snack or some sort of fast food item, and if he ever noticed your mood plummeting then he would do his absolute best to make you smile. His smile was contagious and you were now noticing that Konohamaru's was too.
"Thank you, Konohamaru-kun. Please, let me help you with your own arms."
Not allowing him time to react you returned the favor to your older teammate, smiling brightly. Once you were finished, Ebisu commended your actions, saying that a good shinobi will always look after their teammates. Moegi was wiggling her eyebrows at both you and Konohamaru and Udon was simply congratulating you both on catching Tora so quickly.
Making your way towards the Hokage tower you fell into easy conversation with your three teammates, sometimes you would say something blatantly outlandish just to get Ebisu to chime into the conversation. You had been with team Ebisu for about five weeks now, while you definitely hated how boring D-rank missions were you couldn't have asked for a better group of people to do them with.
Watching the devil cat get squeezed by its owner gave you pleasure unlike any other causing you to smile brightly. One you receive your pay you were free to do as you pleased, the team had already completed their three D-rank missions for the day. Just before you could turn to say goodbye to your friends a gentle voice called your name. Smiling gently at you was Umino Iruka, Shikamaru's academy teacher. He was sitting behind the missions desk and motioning you to come closer. Bidding your friends goodbye you watched them leave the room before timidly approaching.
"Iruka-san, you wished to speak with me?"
"Mah Ayumi-chan, you don't need to be so formal with me. You can call me Iruka-sensei, just like your brother."
"Very well Iruka-sensei, what can I do for you?"
At your question the tan man began to lightly scratch his scar, a light blush coating his cheeks and ears.
"Ah you see, I wasn't on board with Hokage-sama letting you become a genin. I know you declined the offer but you're only four years old, you haven't attended the academy nor had enough time to enjoy your childhood like you should have. Nonetheless I respect Hokage-sama's decision and just wanted to make sure you were doing okay."
Now that's something you weren't expecting.
"Ehh Iruka-sensei, you never had me as a student. Why would my well being be of concern to you?"
"Just because you didn't attend the academy doesn't mean I stop caring about your mental health Ayumi-chan. Being a ninja is hard, I know doing D-rank missions doesn't really show that but once you start taking higher rank missions you'll understand. Those higher rank missions can easily affect your emotions and mental state, especially since you're so young. I just want you to know that even if we don't have that student-teacher bond, I will always be open to you. No matter what happens I will always offer you a shoulder to cry on or advice."
Your eyes teared up at the sincerity in Iruka's voice, you now understood why your brother always spoke so highly of him.
"Thank you sensei, for concerning yourself with me. Should I ever find myself questioning my morals and ambitions you'll be the first one I speak to."
At your words the man blushed darker and patted you on your head. Just before you left the mission room you turned to the chunin and gifted him a sincere bright smile.
"You're a kind man, Iruka-sensei. Naruto-kun is lucky to have you in his life."
And then you left.
February 8th at exactly 11:45 at night you woke to a sickening premonition from Suna. You wracked your mind for any event you may have dreamed of until you jolted at a certain one. Gaara, Godaime Kazekage and jinchuriki to the one tail, would be getting kidnapped and killed by the Akatsuki. More specifically, Deidara would be kidnapping Gaara while Sasori poisoned Kankuro with a poison refined with heavy metals which would get into the muscles and destroy the cells. If left untreated the victim would die within three days. Shukaku would get extracted by the Akatsuki and sealed into a big statue, killing Gaara in the process.
Throwing off your covers, you ran into the living room where your father and brother were playing shogi. Ignoring both men you frantically started strapping on your sandals, provoking both men to question you.
"Whoa whoa whoa sweetheart, what are you doing out of bed? It's way past your bedtime right now."
Knowing that now wasn't the time for your petty acts you made eye contact with your father and spoke to him.
"I need to see the Hokage right now. I've just remembered something and she needs to know about it now."
"Imouto odds are Hokage-sama is already at her home resting. Just wait until tomorrow morning, I can take you along with the rest of team 10 and Suna's ambassador."
"No I have to leave right now, I'll see you both when I return."
Tsunade's chakra led you right to the hokage tower, you all but flew up the stairs into the building. The guards knew you were one of Tsunade's favorite students so they allowed you through but not without throwing questioning looks at your pajama clad form. You paid no attention to their stares, you had to make it to her office before the lead in Suna was lost.
Not bothering to double check if there were any other chakra signatures coming from the office you threw open the doors only to stop dead in your tracks and almost puke.
Tsunade was indeed in her office, bent over her desk even. But she was not doing paperwork. She was wearing her official hokage robes but her breasts were hanging loose and the bottom of the robes were hiked above her hips. Positioned behind her was the sanin you believed to have been out of fire country, penis halfway buried within the hokage. Both adults let out shouts of embarrassment and frustration at being interrupted but you did not leave. Instead you quickly turned your head and locked the doors.
"Stop fornicating and just listen to what I have to say! Suna is in trouble. The Kazekage has just been kidnapped by the Akatsuki and one of his advisors has been poisoned with a poison that will kill him in three days time. You need to send me and a team to Suna now, before the Akatsuki even has a chance at extracting the one tail from Gaara."
You heard both adults sigh and clothes being shifted, still you refused to turn your head back around until they told you to.
Really? Shishou and the pervert? And here I thought she had standards.
"Alright gaki, you can turn around now."
You turned slowly and felt a powerful blush spread across your face, it made you happy that your shishou was enjoying herself but you really wish you hadn't seen it. You also wondered how Jiraiya was able to hide such a massive bulge from his usual attire.
He had to have been at least 7 inches and the girth, oh fuck. Wait he's like fifty ew. Then again, I guess I'm nearing my forty's so-
"Gaki! Are you listening to me?! Tell me who from the Akatsuki has kidnapped the Kazekage."
"Deidara, S-rank missing nin from Iwagakure. He possesses the Explosion kekkei genkai making bombs out of a special clay. He has two additional mouths, one on his left palm and on his chest right where his heart would be. He uses these mouths to mold explosive chakra into his clay, making explosive figurines. He is significantly weak against lightning though his pain tolerance is almost unbelievable. Sasori, S-rank missing nin from Sunagakure. He is a master puppeteer, perfecting his craft to the point of turning himself into a puppet. He can effectively use up to 100 puppets and poison anyone within a 100 meter range. His only weakness would be a cylindrical piece of his original flesh located where his heart would be. If you can manage to destroy that then he no longer will live. He has a backup body in case the one he is in gets too damaged."
Once finished you waited for both sanin to process the information. It was Jiraiya who spoke first.
"You said they were going to extract the one tail, how exactly?"
"All members of the Akatsuki are expected to give about 30% of their chakra to engage in a sealing. With all nine members present the jutsu takes three days to complete. I don't know what fuinjutsu they use though it manifests itself as blue dragons. The dragons latch onto the jinchuriki and extracts the bijuu forcefully, taking such a large amount of chakra from anyone would kill them. Once the fuinjutsu is complete the jinchuriki dies."
Jiraiya turns a pensive stare towards his lover, the information you provided was more than he could have ever dreamed of attaining. However, this also meant that the Kazekage was in quite a predicament, if he died it would be detrimental to everyone. Tsunade was fiddling her thumbs as she thought, speaking up only to question:
"You said you had to go to Suna as well, why? We cannot afford to lose you to the enemy."
You knew that logically he was right, you were an information goldmine that could save hundreds of shinobi and keep Konoha from being destroyed again. The most optimal solution would be to keep you in the village with an anbu guard, protected at all cost. Yet you couldn't shake the feeling that you needed to go with whatever team was sent to Suna. the need to go almost hurt you physically.
"I know you want me to stay in the village, being protected all day everyday but I don't want to live that way. I want to live my life however I want, even if it kills me. Neither of you get to make that decision for me."
"Technically I'm the Hokage, I can do whatever I want with you brat. If keeping this information safe means locking you up then I will do so. Do not test me."
A wave of shock and dread ran through your body because you knew your shishou would definitely keep her word. At the same time you felt foolish, of course the hokage would chain you up if it meant keeping her village safe.
"I can keep myself safe, I've been training hard. You deemed me worthy of being a Konoha shinobi, let me do my job and protect this village and its allies. Please shishou, I can do this. I need to do this."
"And if I don't let you go?"
At this question you really faltered. You had no upper hand in this conversation, you really believed that if you asked to be sent to Suna then you would be. Your ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu were as good as any chunin but the fact of the matter was that you were still a genin. Tsunade had every right to keep you from going to Suna.
"Please shishou, I know I can do this. Trust me, let me prove my ninja way to you both."
At your last plea you fall to your knees and bowed deeply, hoping that showing utmost respect would help sway Tsunade in your favor.
For a long while there was silence, Jiraiya was uncharacteristically silent and serious while Tsunade had her head buried within her hands. The silence was tense and drawn out for the better half of 5 minutes before Tsunade let out a long and loud groan.
"Ayumi-chan, I sincerely hope you know what you're getting yourself into. I will not let the team I send baby you, you wish to be a genin of Konohagakure so you better act like one. The only order I will give to them in regards to you will be to not let you die at any cost. If one of them dies protecting you, then that is on you. Understand?"
A quick nod and she sent Jiraiya out to collect team 7, leaving the two of you alone.
"Gaki, I'm putting my trust in you. Just tell me this, why are you so dead set on risking your life for this?"
Not wasting a second you told her your truthful response.
"If what I dreamed is true then people will die on his mission. Good and bad people. What good is this power if I can't use it to save them."
Shishou didn't question you further after that.
"Team 7 will leave for Suna in exactly 30 minutes, you will be taking my apprentice Nara Ayumi as well. Despite her lack of official ninja status, she has incredible skills with ninjutsu and taijutsu, her medical ninjutsu is on par or possibly superior to my other apprentice Sakura so you need not worry. She is aware of the details pertaining to this mission, she will disclose them to you all when she sees fit. From the start of this mission to the very end you all will protect Ayumi-chan with your life, under no circumstances can she fall into the enemy's hands or get injured. Understood?"
"By your command Hokage-sama."
"By your command Hokage-sama."
"By your command Hokage-sama, though I cannot see how taking an inexperienced, weak child will do anything other than inhibit us during this mission."
You tensed at Kakashi's words, indignation and anger willed your small body. Kakashi knew you were capable of completely decking Naruto and Sakura, he was there when you sparred against them, so why was he saying you were weak?
"That is why you are not the Hokage, Hatake-san. If you wish to continue questioning my ability to make decisions then I'm sure the academy would love a new grade 1 instructor."
At that all three members of team 7 stood straight and silent, you were standing next to Tsunade. Once all of team 7 had begun to shuffle out to get their supplies you were engulfed in a strong, tight hug. Tsunade was squishing your innards out of you but you couldn't bring yourself to complain. While she was caring to Sakura and Shizune, she only cuddled with you. Instead you stayed quiet and released in the warm embrace. When she let go you turned to her and were genuinely surprised to see wetness around her eyes. Before you could ask what was wrong she spoke.
"Gaki, please be careful. Don't throw yourself into unnecessary danger, come back to me alive, please."
You felt your own eyes become damp at her plea and nodded vigorously. Throwing yourself into her arms once again you memorized her scent and touch, if the mission went haywire and you ended up in a dire situation then you wanted to be able to recall your second mother's love and care. Releasing the hug minutes later you kissed her cheek before dashing out of her office.
Racing back to the compound to pack you were giddy with excitement, this would be the first time you went out of the village. In the four years of life you had lived so far, not once have you ever even stepped foot out of the large red gates. Anytime you asked your family they would quickly brush you off and try to distract you. Now, however, they couldn't. You were working on orders from the Hokage, they couldn't do anything to stop you from leaving.
Opening the front door to your house, you were mildly surprised to see that your entire family was waiting for you, even Ensui was there and he did not look happy. Before any of them could sscold you, you spoke loud and clear.
"I have an out of village mission, I need to go pack. Team Kakashi and I leave in about twenty five minutes."
And just like that everyone's anger dissipated as they began following you to pack and asking questions.
"What do you mean you leave in twenty five minutes? It's barely 1 am, can't you leave later in the day? Also you aren't a shinobi, you're not qualified for missions yet."
"No mother, Tsunade-sama has ordered us to leave immediately. These are the hokage's orders, who am I to question them?"
"But where are you going? You're still a child, you shouldn't be taking out of village missions yet!"
"Suna. They're Hokage's orders mother, I can't ignore them."
"But, but, but you're so young. So many things could go wrong, who's going to take care of you?!"
"I can take care of myself, and if not then I trust team Kakashi will have my back."
"Team Kakashi huh? Well I guess that explains why he was in such a big hurry tonight."
"Yes Ensui-san, I'm sorry the mission cut into your private time with Kakashi-san. If all goes well then we should be back within a week. Shikaku-san, would it be at all possible to borrow two wakizashi from the weapons vault? I'm still too short to properly use katanas and tanto blades feel too small for my personal taste."
There was a stunned silence as you finished packing your backpack, turning around you took note of the deep blush covering your uncle's face and the look of shock crossing your father's.
"Is everything alright?"
Shaking his head, your father agreed to let you take two wakizashi from the weapons vault, telling you to follow him.
"Actually I was hoping you could get them while I changed into my uniform, I am on a time crunch."
"Of course my little shadow, I'll be back in a few minutes."
And then he left, leaving you in a room with your older brother, mother and uncle. You took out a standard shinobi uniform and began fiddling with the hem of your pajama shirt, shooting a look towards the other shinobi in your room.
"Ugh, can you guys, like, leave? I don't really want to give you guys a show, there's not much for me to flaunt anyways."
Your brother and your uncle blushed while your mother griped you about making perverted jokes at such a young age. You chuckled softly at them before closing your door and proceeding to change. You made sure to clean up nicely despite the fact that you would most likely get dirty, the etiquette your mother had drilled into you from an early age still affected the way you acted. Braiding a section of your hair into a high ponytail made you still for a moment, this was the first time you would be actively trying to change the future you had seen. One misstep and you could cause a plethora of problems. Could you deal with that?
Shaking off your doubts and fears you finished with your hair before grabbing your backpack and running down the stairs. Waiting for you by the back door was your family, your father had the two blades in his hands, your uncle was scribbling something on a scroll, your brother was staring blankly at the wall and your mother was frantically packing a mountain of food into bento boxes.
"Mom, you know I can't really fit all of that food into my backpack."
"What do you think your uncle is working on sweetpea? He's making a special sealing scroll to seal all of this food into, that way you'll only be carrying around a scroll rather than a dozen bento boxes."
Your eyes widened at your mother's words as you scurried closer to your uncle. Observing the scroll he was inking up you recognized a few of the characters but not all of them. Puffing out your cheeks in frustration at your ignorance you made a mental note to study fuinjutsu when you get back.
"Ensui-san, you're going to have to teach me how to make a sealing scroll when I get back. It would make packing for missions so much easier."
"Yeah, yeah kid you got it. And please just go back to calling me ojisan, Ensui-san makes me feel like a stranger."
Ignoring his request you turned to your father and thanked him for retrieving the blades. You strapped both blades onto your back in an "X" formation, feeling like Leonardo from the ninja turtles. You practiced unsheathing and resheathing the blades while your uncle sealed the mountain of bento boxes your mother had prepared and organized your backpack neatly. As your uncle worked he spoke.
"Alright Ayumi-chan looks like you're all set for your first out of village mission. Are you excited?"
"I'm anxious."
Your brother abruptly walked off into his room at your response. You didn't think much of it, neither did your uncle.
"Ah that's normal, you'll adjust soon enough. Plus I know Kakashi won't let shit happen to you, so you don't have to worry about your safety."
"I'm not anxious about my own health, I can damn well keep myself safe. I just hope I can keep the rest of my team safe as well, I don't want to be a burden."
Your family turned to you, each having varying levels of concern on their faces at your response. Before anyone could speak, however, your brother reentered the room. In his hands was an old worn shirt with the clan crest in the back. Your brother knelt in front of you and gently unstrapped the two blades on your back.
"Aniki, what are you doing? I have to leave soon."
His eyes were glassy as he guided your body into the shirt, it was a bit too large for you but didn't obstruct your movement in the slightest. It reminded you a bit of Tsunade's green overcoat. Watching your brother finish adjusting the open shirt on your shoulders, you were shocked to see his eyes filled with tears.
"Aniki, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Imouto, this was the shirt I used when I was a genin almost six years ago. It kept me safe during the chunin exams and even on my own first out of village mission. I meant to give it to you as a graduation gift once you were twelve but you just keep surpassing anyone's expectations of you, don't you? It's a bit big and kinda smelly but hopefully it reminds you that you have a home and a family waiting for you."
You couldn't form words after hearing your brother speak. You couldn't even really think clearly, when had anyone given you such a meaningful gift? You bit your lip harshly when you felt the sting of tears behind your eyes. You threw yourself at Shikamaru, allowing a few tears to dampen his shoulder. He held you against him tightly, as if this was the last time he would see you. After a few seconds you squirmed until he let go and hastily wiped your eyes.
"No matter the situation, a shinobi must never show emotion. You must make the mission your top priority, and you must possess a heart that never shows tears." pfft yeah good luck with that bullshit.
"I'll come back aniki, you guys can't get rid of me that easily. When I do come back we should definitely try to wash this shirt thoroughly, it does smell like sweat and… barbeque?"
Your family broke into jolly laughter at your last statement, helping you restrap the two wakizashi blades in place and your backpack before setting out into the night. You walked with your hand holding your brothers, your mother on your free side and your father and uncle trailing a bit behind the group whispering to each other.
Team Kakashi was already waiting at the village gate, Sakura sent you a dirty look while the other two males simply greeted you and your family. Before setting out, your mother plucked you off the ground and hugged you tightly to her chest. You were vaguely aware of your brother moving closer to team 7 and speaking to them in a low voice but didn't pay it any more attention. Your mother professed her love for you once more before letting your father say his piece.
"Ayumi-chan, you have been such a blessing to our lives since the moment we found out you were in your mother's tummy. I know I've been a rotten father to you but I sincerely hope you know how much you mean to me. You have made me so proud, my little shadow. Stay close to Kakashi-san, Uzumaki-san, and Haruno-san. Come back safely."
With his speech said he kissed you on your cheeks, nose and forehead before hugging you firmly. You let him. Despite still being a bit upset over the events that had transpired weeks ago, you were slowly warming up to him again.
He was roughly pushed away by your uncle who knelt before you and animatedly talked about your start as a kick ass kunoichi. Once finished, he too hugged you tightly and then pushed you closer to team Kakashi. Turning towards the team you noticed your brother had finished talking to them and was waiting for you. You quickly ran to him and nuzzled his shoulder when he lifted you. You whispered a simple 'I love you Shika-nii' into his ear before he whispered it back to you and set you down.
Walking towards team Kakashi you bowed deeply and politely delivered quick greetings and appreciation for allowing you to join them. They all dismissed your appreciation and Naruto even joked about stealing Shikamaru's imouto and making you his own.
As the four of you made your way down the dirt road you quickly turned your head to catch one last glimpse of your family. They were all huddled together, when they saw you turn they all waved their hands wildly in a wacky gesture of goodbye. You wanted to laugh and cry and jump in excitement all at once. This was the beginning of your long journey of keeping the world from falling to shit, everything could either go as planned or you could end up dead.
Whichever it may be, you were ready.
This speedy update is dedicated to SecondGuessing on AO3, after reading your precious comment I was inspired to write an entire 10k chapter! Also, if you think I'm an "Otaku moron" for titling MY story something YOU don't like then you can go suck on some eggs.