Chapter 3 – You're whole again…
"I should never have asked for this in the first place." Fighting back tears, Alec place the Lightwood family ring into his mother's hand and walked off, before she could refuse or question him further. His throat grew tighter, preventing the air he breathed from reaching his lungs.
He couldn't break down, he couldn't allow himself to even think about it. Clary and Jace needed him, this wasn't the time to dwell on his pain, and yet he couldn't keep Magnus out of his mind, his thoughts automatically trailed to his former lover, wondering how he was doing, hoping that he got his magic back from Asmodeus, that he was whole again.
Surely he would be happier now, would be able to cope with the breakup, move on easily now that he had this vital part of him returned and restored. A part of him that was taken away because of him to begin with.
Alec was just another lover in a long chain of people, Magnus would get over it.
But what about you? Can you recover?
Izzy's words echoed in his mind. To be honest, he probably won't recover, or at least not for a very long time, but the thought of Magnus whole again, it gave him a small sense of comfort. It didn't matter how he felt, or how much he hurt, as long as he knew that Magnus was going to be ok.
And yet, he could not get the look in Magnus' eyes out of his head. Alec knew that he would be blindsided by this sudden breakup, but seeing it dawn on his now ex-boyfriend, was terribly heart wrenching. Nothing could have prepared him for the reaction he would get, for the amount of willpower it would take to go through with it, especially when Magnus had begged him to stay and kissed him.
It was near impossible to resist, and it had taken every ounce of strength he had to walk away. Alec had felt as if he had weights in his pockets, as if an invisible rope was trying to pull him back, but he did not give in, he couldn't allow himself to give in.
He walked into his office and sank into his chair behind his desk, he put his head into his hands and tried to force himself to focus on the task at hand. He had to pull himself together and hold on, at least until this was all over and they got Clary back.
He lifted his head back up when he heard a soft knock on his office door, "yes?" he called out and Izzy walked in, she gave him a soft smile, a knowing look. "I saw you talking to mom, are you OK?" he shook his head, not being able to speak, the lump in his throat has become overwhelming, and with Izzy there, he could no longer hold it in.
She closed the door, rushed to his side, and embraced him. With Jace he held himself together, even when he asked him about Magnus earlier, he had enough to worry about with Clary, and did not want to add on more than he needed, he couldn't burden him with this right now, couldn't show him that he was barely hanging on.
But with Izzy it was easier, especially since she already knew about the deal he had made with Asmodeus. "I miss him Izz, I miss him so much already." he choked out, barely above a whisper, no longer able to control himself, tears streaming down his face.
Izzy held onto him tightly, rubbed his back as he leaned his head on her shoulder. "I know, I'm here for you." she said softly, "we'll get through this together, I promise."
"I can't let Jace see me like this, he can't know." Alec said, straightening up. "I need to help him find Clary, get her back."
"Maybe you should stay here and relax a bit," Izzy suggested, "I'm not sure it's a good idea that you come with us to the seelie court."
"No, I'm not staying, I want to come and help." Alec insisted, wiping away the tears, finding his strength once again. "I need to be there, I can't let this break me."
"Alec, are you sure?" Izzy asked, "Jace would understand."
"I'm sure," Alec said, standing up decisively, Izzy got up as well, "and please don't tell him about this, not yet." Izzy gave him one last hug and agreed.
"Whatever you need, big brother." she said softly.
They had been sitting at the Hunter's Moon, at the same table they had been sitting at the past three times they had come. They were already on their third drink, working their way impressively fast to the forth. It has been quite a while since Magnus had enjoyed the company of a shadowhunter, especially a Lightwood, which was definitely unexpected.
The first time they met, was at the Pandemonium, when Alec had been demon hunting, or something of the sort. Alec had saved Magnus' life and he insisted of repaying with a drink, it was the least he could do.
Little did he know, one drink would turn in to four, and even five, once a week for three weeks. He had not expected it, but they seemed to have a great connection, and it was all just a pleasant surprise.
Magnus had taken a shower and gone straight to bed, but despite the exhaustion, he found that he could not sleep. He felt this emptiness inside of him, this pressure in his chest that wouldn't let him rest or calm down.
The memories his father had restored to him would not leave his mind, everytime he closed his eyes that was all he could see. They felt blurry and distant, as if he was watching them through a lense that couldn't focus, no matter how hard he tried. It was as if he was an outsider looking into someone else's memories, through their eyes.
And yet, they felt real, undeniably, painfully real. So despite the feel of detachment that came with them, despite the fact that he could not remember it in small details, he felt them to his core, and so could not deny the authenticity of those memories, and had no other choice but to believe them to be true.
On that same night, of their third meeting, Alec had insisted on walking him home. He never had before, but Magnus was not going to refuse, he grew to really like Alec, and by then had considered him a friend. If he was being completely honest, a part of him may have also been hoping for more, but he did not want to push it, and decided to take it slow and see where it goes.
So when they stood outside his apartment, Magnus was almost sure that maybe he wasn't wrong, perhaps the shadowhunter also felt the spark between them.
He was so foolishly distracted, he had all of his guards down, expecting nothing bad. Before he even registered what was going on, Alec was pushing him up against the wall, but not for the reasons he was hoping.
Anger burned up inside of him, how could he have been so weak? How could he have let that young shadowhunter fool him like that? Magnus lost everything, gave up everything because of him.
He should have never let his guard down, definitely not with a Nephilim, he should have never broken his own rule against allowing himself to get too close to a shadowhunter, let alone developing a crush on one.
He could now remember trusting him, just to be humiliated and betrayed. He will not let him get away with this, his father was right, he needed to make Alec suffer, just as he did to him.
Alec pulled out a pair of iron handcuffs and with shadowhunter speed, placed them on Magnus' wrists, as Isabelle appeared out of nowhere. She helped her brother drag him away, as he struggled and tried to get out of their hold on him.
Magnus tried to blast the hand cuffs with his magic, but it seemed that they had prevented him from using it. "What are you doing?" he shouted as they shoved him down the hall. "Alec, what's going on?"
"Shut up Warlock!" Alec growled at him, his gaze on him cruel and disgusted. How had he changed so drastically, so suddenly. Had he been getting closer to him all this time, just so he could corner him when he least expected it? Three weeks he had been acting, playing this game, just to be trusted enough to make kidnapping Magnus easy for him?
He had not seen it coming, if he had, no one would have been able to kidnap him. It's near impossible to kidnap a warlock, especially a powerful one with good instincts.
Magnus tossed and turned for a long time, trying to forget, trying to ease his mind for at least a little while. Finally he fell into a restless sleep, and woke up sometime mid-morning to a knock on the door.
He lifted himself up off his bed, his head still pounding from last night. He grabbed his robe and headed towards the door. His father was sitting in the lounge with a glass of whisky, "Good morning, my dear boy," he said, as Magnus just waved a hand at him, still feeling weak. "Whoever that is, get rid of them." Asmodeus voice trailed after him as he headed to the door.
It was a strange and unnatural to have him there, hanging out at is apartment, as if he belongs, as if he was always there. When he took the key from him, Magnus didn't actually believe that his father would come with him. But he knew that his help was never free and definitely not cheap, so he braced himself, and stayed alert, so when the time comes and Asmodeus demands payment, he would be ready, or at least prepared.
Opening the front door, he was still keeping half an eye on his father. And when Magnus turned his gaze to his guest, he was surprised to find Maryse Lightwood, of all people, standing in his doorway.
"What the hell do you want?" Magnus spat at her, she looked shocked and hurt at his words. How dare she?
"Magnus, what are you doing here?" she asked, deciding to ignore the vicious tone in which he spoke to her.
"This is my apartment, and you are definitely not wanted here." the warlock replied coldly, trying to close the door, but she sent her hand forward and stopped him.
"Wait, I came here looking for Lorenzo, I was hoping he would know where to find you." her voice was low and desperate, as if she was working under a strict time limit.
"Well, you found me, you can leave now." Magnus tried to close the door again, but she stopped him once more.
"Wait Magnus, I need to talk to you." she insisted, Magnus sighed and looked back towards his father before stepping outside and closing the door after him with the snap of his fingers.
Maryse starred in surprise, "You got your magic back." she stated, and it seemed that something clicked in her mind, as if she finally understood a riddle she was trying hard to solve, "You're whole again." she whispered.
"I'm glad to hear you thought I was lesser without my magic." Magnus said, impatiently folding his arms. "Is that what you came here for? To add insult to the injuries your son caused?"
"No, of course not! Look, I know he hurt you, and I understand your upset but-" she began to say, but Magnus raised his hand and cut her off.
"Of course I'm upset, your son tricked me into trusting him, he made a fool out of me." he said, "and frankly I don't really care what you have to say in the matter, so if that is what you came for, I'm sorry you wasted your time."
"Wait, what? You don't understand, I think he-" but Maryse was once again cut off, this time by the front door opening, they both looked back to find Asmodeus standing there.
"Maryse Lightwood." He said in a cold voice, "I think your family has done enough to hurt my son, how dare you show up at his home and try to make things worse?"
Maryse looked from Magnus to Asmodeus, she was clearly shocked and was struggling to find her words. "Asmodeus." She finally muttered, glaring at him. "What the hell are you doing her?"
"I should be asking you the same." Asmodeus replied, his voice calm and his eyes fixated on Maryse, as if trying to scare her with his gaze. "I am here because my son needs me."
"Oh, I highly doubt that you actually care about his well being." Maryse spat back, "Your presence in his life has never had a good influence."
"My presence in his life has been needed due to your son," Asmudeus took a step forward, his tone becoming more threatening, "he was the one who's influence had broken Magnus, and I will make sure he pays."
"You will not go near my son, I will not let you touch him!" Maryse shouted, her voice threatening and unwavering, but her eyes filled with fear.
Asmudeus let out a bone chilling laugh, he looked her up and down before he spoke, "and you are planning on doing that how exactly?" he asked in a mocking and degrading tone. "Even as a shadowhunter you could never beat me, so as the pathetic Mundane you are now?"
"Father, that is enough!" Magnus, who had been at a loss for words, finally spoke up, his voice, more forceful than he expected it would be. His gaze had been following Maryse and Asmodeus as they spoke, he tried to interject a few times, but it seemed they had been sucked into a bubble and forgot he was even there, spitting at each other so quick, he hadn't had a chance to cut in.
They both stared at each other with hate for one more moment before turning to him, "Maryse, you should not be here, please leave." Magnus said in a stern voice, his eyes fixated on Maryse.
Shaking off her dispute with Asmnudeus, Maryse focused again on the real reason she was there. She knew something had been wrong, and now that she knew Asmodeus was with Magnus, she was certain that she couldn't just let this go, it was imperative that she find out what the hell was going on. "I came here to try and understand what is going on." She finally managed. "Magnus, please you have to listen to me."
Magnus opened his mouth to reply, but before he could say anything, Asmodeus stepped forwarders and stood between his son and Maryse, "he does not have to do anything you ask of him, and we don't care why you came." He said, his voice rising. "Now leave, before I make you."
Maryse gave Magnus another look, she was begging him with her eyes to let her talk to him, but Magnus just shifted his head to the side, avoiding any eye contact. "Just go." He said.