A/N: Thanks for reviewing! That was the end of part I - onto part II!

Part II: Bargaining and Anger

And though despair of things before will never leave, although our past mistakes can never be retrieved, way out in the distance is a vessel on the seas

Rey woke from a nap she hadn't intended to take with a creeping feeling on the back of her neck. She sat up abruptly and looked around, trying to figure out why she felt like she was being watched when the room was far too small to be hiding anyone. There weren't any surveillance devices either – she'd started checking for those and causing them to malfunction not long after she'd left the Supremacy a year ago. Whether or not the recording devices could pick up things through the Force was unclear, but she hadn't needed any evidence of her connection to Ben while she was in the Resistance.

Still unsettled, she got up from her bed and put on her belt and boots. The conversation with her friends had been draining so she shouldn't have been surprised that she'd fallen asleep, but she felt confused and disoriented. Her brow furrowed as she recalled their discussion about Ben. Instinctively, her hand went to the scar on her shoulder, and she jolted as she glanced down at it and found it gone. How could this have happened? She had been careful to hide it and keep it hidden – even, lately, from herself – but surely that wouldn't cause it to disappear?

The confusion gave way to dismay as she realized that this last vestige of Ben was gone. The last indication of his effect on her life, gone as thoroughly as if it had never happened. The scar had resembled two hands reaching for each other, like she had reached for him on Ahch-To, and now it had disappeared. He had comforted her in her lowest moment, and the scar had always served as a token of that act of compassion. Its absence now was a stark reminder that he would never be able to comfort her again.

There were tears on her face and she was breathing hard when a knock at her door brought her back to the present. The scar on Ben's face, the one she had given him, had disappeared after she had healed him of his mortal wound. Perhaps he had done the same when he brought her back from the dead. An innocuous change, really, but one that she found particularly devastating in the light of what she had already lost. A future she had only dared to dream about, late at night, when the loneliness on the Resistance base became too much to bear. A future where this war was over and where she and Ben could finally be together. Not that she had ever let herself consider specifics – that only made things worse.

She jumped when the knock came again, harder this time. "Sorry, coming," she said and quickly opened it.

Chewie growled at her for leaving the Falcon and being difficult to find.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, stricken. "I was talking to Finn and Rose and Poe and I forgot you were coming back."

He waved off her excuses and she couldn't be sure if she had offended him or not. There were some cultural differences that, combined with the language barrier, made her uncertain of where she stood with him sometimes. He leaned down to look her in the eye and huffed before reaching into his bag and pulling out something blue – a round toy of some kind. Her brow furrowed in confusion, glancing back up at him. He grudgingly suggested that perhaps she could use the Force to bring back its owner somehow.

Touched by his suggestion, she reached out to take the toy. And was blindsided by a vision – not just one, but several, like the first time she had touched Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. Images of Ben in his youth passed by, too quickly for her to really understand what was happening. Him with his mother, with his father, with Chewie – some were happy moments, a few angry, but there was a pervading sense of loneliness that she could not help but relate to.

"Rey?" the ten-year-old version of Ben asked, looking at her with eyes that were too familiar. His disappeared, only to be replaced by an even younger version, who stared at her in that same beseeching way Ben so often had. "Come back, Rey. Come find me," he said, desperation evident on his face. She gasped and let go.

"I don't how!" she cried, coming back to herself to find Chewie's hand on her shoulder. He looked at her with concern. "I saw him again, Chewie!" Her fingers trembled as she clenched her fists at her sides to keep from reaching out for the toy again. Just to see what would happen.

Taking a few deep breaths, she managed to calm down as Chewie asked her gently what she thought the vision meant. "I can see Luke and Master Leia as ghosts, but not Ben. Though he disappeared, so maybe he is just stuck somewhere? He wants me to come find him!" she added, smiling through her tears. "Do you think I can?"

Chewie was supportive, as always, and Rey rushed back to her bed to grab the Jedi Texts from where she had hidden them. Handing a few to Chewie, she gathered all of them and led the way to the room where she and Finn studied. It was blessedly empty and she set about spreading the texts across the table. There were a lot of them and many, many pages to get through. Searching for something she didn't even understand. Her shoulders sagged as she considered the daunting task.

Patting her head, Chewie offered to find someone to help. "Yes! Please ask Finn, if he's not busy. I could use a hand with reading these," she admitted, feeling relieved at the thought of not doing this completely alone. Chewie nodded and left, so Rey set to work.

Finn arrived sometime later, and Rose was with him. "What is it, Rey? Chewie seemed pretty worried about you," Finn explained, clearly concerned.

She waved off his worry – and Chewie's. "I saw Ben! In a vision. He told me to come find him. He isn't a ghost like Jedi can become. He just disappeared, so I think he might be stuck somewhere."

"Rey," Rose said in her calming voice and Rey looked up at her. "I know you were… fond of him, but it's been weeks," she began.

Frowning, Rey looked back at the pages spread out before her. Maybe this was a foolish hope. Maybe she would regret the excitement she currently felt. But she had seen him – and it was him, not just a memory. Not just her ability to read what had happened to objects. He had been able to contact her and he had asked her to find him. So that was what she was going to do!

"We were on a Sith world when he vanished. Places that are strong in the Force can be… unpredictable. I'm sure the Emperor chose it for a reason," she said firmly.

"Or didn't choose it, but it was the only place he could return," Finn suggested and Rey beamed at him.

"Exactly! Let's look for anything about that, anything that might explain how the Emperor was able to come back from the dead." If he could do it, why not Ben? Rey kept that thought to herself – she did not expect her friends to be on board with any Dark Force rituals that might have been utilized to return the Emperor to some semblance of his former power.

She channeled the frantic energy she felt into meticulously searching through the text, just as she would carefully clean and repair a part no matter how hungry she was. Finn selected a different text to peruse, sitting beside her. After a moment, Rose picked a third and joined them, though clearly more skeptical. Rose, for all her talents, was not particularly adept at the Force so had more reason to doubt that Ben might come back. But he hadn't been killed, he wasn't wounded – he had disappeared. Surely he had to disappear to somewhere, and perhaps it was somewhere she could bring him back from. Or at least speak to him again.

The desire kept her going for hours. Finn and Rose each took breaks, bringing back food or drink. Rey, for once, ate without thinking or appreciating what was brought, her focus on finding something worthwhile in the dusty tomes. The day turned to night, even on the brightly lit city planet, and the occasional shuffle of passerby faded to silence. Poe may have checked in on them once or twice, but Rey had not taken much notice of it.

"Come on, Rey, we need to go to bed," Finn told her at length.

"Just a little longer," she insisted. It was not the first time that evening she had made that plea but Finn shook his head.

"It's been close to a month, Rey. Where ever he is, I'm sure he can wait one more day."

"You need to rest or you won't be able to help him, Rey," Rose tried. "If we found out a way to bring him back right now, you would be too exhausted to do it. Well, to do it effectively," she amended at Rey's offended expression.

There was some logic to that. Rey had often spent long hours working on a particular piece only to make some irrevocable mistake because she was too tired to be careful. This was too important to make any mistakes, so she nodded grudgingly.

"Alright," she acquiesced. Carefully packing up the texts so that she would recall her progress, she allowed herself to be led back to her room and soon drifted off to a dreamless sleep. Much as she would have preferred it to be otherwise.