Chapter 37

There was a flash of purple light and the woman identical in appearance to Beverly Crusher simply disappeared. Beverly turned to Guinan. "What? She can't just-just say something like that and then disappear without explanation!"

"There has always been a difference between what Orla can do and what she should do," said Guinan.

"Orla…your mother is Orla…Orla is your mother," Beverly shook her head in confusion. Her head was spinning with questions.

"Yes. And unfortunately, Orla is an expert at disappearing; she disappeared from the El Aurian people when we needed her most, allowing the Other to rule over us for centuries—centuries before I was born. And then after I was born she disappeared from my life, from my father's life—just as she disappeared from John Pritchard's. But she is also an expert at re-appearing. And there is no doubt that right about now, we need her help."

Beverly didn't seem to hear everything Guinan said. "John Pritchard?" she echoed. She looked over at Jean-Luc, his chest rising and falling, proving again that he was still alive, but still weak and murmuring in a fitful sleep. She looked back at Guinan with a question in her eyes.

Guinan gave her a strange look. Was it discomfort? "I'm sorry, but it's a long story, Doctor."

Beverly spread her arms wide in exasperation. "It seems as though none of us are going anywhere, Guinan." She let her arms fall back down to her sides and sat down clasping her hands in her lap. "Guinan, I need to know what is going on here…even if it is a long story."

Guinan moved to sit down across from her. "Fine. But I can't promise it will make much sense."

Commander Riker had asked them to try to determine the source of what appeared to be an energy field on the outer edges, deck, and ceiling of Deck 10. The field was a puzzle. It appeared to be protecting them in some way, and yet they could pass through it and back again without any apparent harm, and without compromising the field strength.

"So what's going on between you and that Romulan lady?" Wesley asked, wielding a scanner. They stood next to one of the stairwells that had once been a turbo lift. LaForge glanced up at his young friend from a crouching position. His tricorder recorded any modulations in the field strength. "She's not exactly a lady," he muttered.

"Yeah, but you like her right? I mean, it's kind of obvious, Geordi."

I thought she liked me too, Geordi thought. Wrong as usual, LaForge. He pressed his lips together and reached behind him to grab a hand-held phase compensator. He activated the tool and held it up to the invisible field. "So? Anyway, nothing could ever come of it, Wes. She's a Romulan…remember?"

Wesley shrugged and began sorting through some of the readings on his scanner. "So if she's an enemy…what is she doing here with us on Deck 10, while a bunch of other crew members are running around like maniacs, threatening to kill us?"

Geordi sighed and stood up, clicking his tricorder shut. "Good question. Why are half of my engineering crew missing, Wes? I hope we find out soon."

"No but Geordi, think about it. If Saris is so hostile, then why didn't she join Doulos, or whatever his name is, instead of staying with us?"

"I don't know Wes. What about all the other crew members who were our friends, who we thought were loyal to Captain Picard—to Starfleet. Why did they join Doulos? To be honest with you, I don't think worrying about it is a good use of our time."

Wesley smiled and nodded. "You're right. Besides, Commander Riker is going to be expecting a report on this energy field soon."

"What are we going to do about this weapons shortage, Data?" Riker leaned against the bar in Ten Forward and regarded his second in command. Data was drinking an oddly colored grey substance from a glass. Riker made a face, wrinkling his nose distastefully. "What is that stuff you're drinking, by the way?"

Data finished swallowing the liquid and then put the glass down delivering a dramatic "ahh" sound, as though whatever he had ingested had been extremely refreshing. He turned deliberately to Riker with a small smile. "As you know, Commander I do not require sustenance, however the recent loss of my cranial unit…"

Riker broke into a slow smile. "Your head?"

"Yes. The recent loss of my head has led to minor inefficiencies in my operating systems, requiring me to ingest a poly-lubricant."

Riker's smile widened and clapped Data on the back. "Glad you are taking care of yourself, Data."

Data raised an eyebrow. 'Thank you, Commander. Now, to answer your query about our weapons shortage-"

Riker tapped his fingers on the bar in front of him. "Never mind, Data, I was just thinking out loud."

"So you do not want to resolve the weapons shortage problem…"

"Data…of course I do. I was thinking of trying to override the safety protocols on one of the Ten Forward replicators, but I know it's a long shot."

Data nodded. "If, by overriding the protocols you plan on programming the replicator to replicate phaser weapons, I do agree with you, Commander Riker…it will be a long shot."

Riker looked at him seriously. "I know the replicators were designed to block that kind of thing—for obvious reasons—ethical reasons-but we've got to protect ourselves." He studied Data's face, which just a few years ago upon their first meeting had seemed so expressionless to him. But now, he could read Data as well as he could read anyone else on the ship. "You don't think it's worth the risk, do you?"

Data looked at him. "No. By attempting to convert the replicators to a use not originally intended for them we would run the risk of damaging them beyond repair. In fact the risk that they would be damaged to the point of uselessness is 87.2 percent, Commander."

Riker held up a hand. "Okay, I get it, Data. We can't risk losing our main food source. But if we are going to take our ship back, we are going to have to do much more than just survive. We'll have to find another way."

"Orla may love Captain Picard, Doctor. But he does not love her. In fact, he does not know her any more than you do."

"But then why does she look like me?"

"Orla-long before she was my mother, or anyone else's, or anyone's spouse or lover, has always longed for a normal life. In a sense, she longs to be mortal, something she can never be. She has romanticized the idea of being mortal in much the same way that we mortals fantasize what it must be like to be immortal—to be a god."

"Orla is a god then? Like Q?"

Guinan smiled. "A god or god-like is as good a way to describe her as any," she said. "But like Q…no, not quite. Anyway…she has longed to be normal and most of all to have normal love."

"But who even knows what that means?" Beverly said with a quizzical frown.

"Good point. Clearly, Orla does not. The reason she took on your appearance was because she looked into the heart of John Pritchard and saw that the woman he loved, and would always love, was you."

Beverly felt the sting of tears in her eyes, but didn't try and wipe them away. As strange and unbelievable as this story was a deep part of her understood it. She was grateful for the clarity this was bringing to her.

"So…all of those times Jean-Luc told me he had a special relationship with you…that he had known you for years. Is this what he was talking about? That he knew you as John Pritchard?"

Guinan looked over at Captain Picard's still form. "Yes and no. We have had a good many adventures together. But if you were to wake him up right now, and ask him who John Pritchard was, he wouldn't be able to tell you. John Pritchard was just as much his own person as Jean-Luc Picard is. Are they linked? Of course. But are they the same person? Not quite. I suppose you could say that while I have known Jean-Luc Picard for many years, I have known him for many more years than he has known me." She looked at Beverly. "He has saved my life more times than I would like to admit. It is the one relationship I would never change."

"You love him then?" Beverly ventured.

"Of course. But not in the way that you love him, and that he loves you. I love him because we have an unbreakable friendship. But as Orla has demonstrated, your love has transcended time and space. You were meant to be together."

To her own surprise, Beverly laughed, mostly out of relief, and because somehow she had just been reminded of something true that she had always known, but had been long buried.

"What happened to John?" Beverly asked, her voice nearly a whisper. To her surprise, Guinan stood up quickly.

"I don't think I'm ready to tell that part of the story, Doctor." She nodded. "I'll see you later."

When Guinan had left, Beverly walked slowly back over to where Jean-Luc was sleeping. She felt his brow, and found to her dismay that it was moist with perspiration. His fever was back, and he tossed and turned in a restless nightmare. She hated to think of him dreaming of pain, of being stabbed with that evil blade. She put her hand gently on his shoulder, and then ran it down the length of his arm, taking his hand. She squeezed it, and then reached over to examine the wound on his lower abdomen. It had missed his vital organs, somehow; the only lucky thing about the wound, if you could call such a painful near miss lucky. She smiled to herself and wondered if Orla had been protecting him even then. Suddenly he sat up with a shout, gripping his side. He looked around the room wildly before focusing on her right in front of him. "Beverly!" He took a halting breath and it seemed to catch in his chest. He exhaled, and reached his arm out to touch her. "It was just a dream—or is this dream? I—I don't know," he rasped in confusion.

"No, no, Jean-Luc, it was a dream. But I'm real," she said, taking both his hands in hers. "And I'm here to stay." She sat down on the edge of the bed. The sheets were soaked with sweat. "Stay here," she said, and moved to where she had left a fresh change of sheets. Bringing them over, she had him move carefully to one side of the bed and then the other as she changed the sheets. After giving him some water to drink she encouraged him to lie down again. As rough as he looked, she was inwardly elated that he was awake and alert, if disoriented. It was the best kind of sign she could have hoped for.

"How is the pain?" she asked grabbing a hypo.

He swallowed and lifted his hand shakily to his side. "It burns," he said. She grabbed his hand and placed it back at his side.

"Try not to touch it, Jean-Luc. we only have limited supplies right now, and I don't want it to become infected."

He tried to sit up again. "Where's Riker? I need a status report…."

She pushed him back down gently. "The only report you need is a clean bill of health, and you don't have that yet, Captain. You're going to stay here until you are well enough. Will has it under control."

He did as she said, but his eyes seemed to focus suddenly and a look of terror crossed his face. "Riker! I injured him. Is he alright?"

She smiled down at him. "Yes, he's recovered very well." She bent down and injected the hypo into his neck.

He sighed. "Thanks to you, no doubt. I need to apologize to him…to everyone."

"Jean-Luc, everyone who needs to know, knows that you were under the control of something very powerful. But you're back now, which is all that matters." She looked at him and knew that it was too soon to explain to him that half the crew had defected to Doulos, and that the rest of his crew was trapped on Deck 10.

No, if she told him that, she would have to literally wrestle him to keep him in bed. She cursed herself mentally, as the images that created in her mind didn't disturb her as much as they probably should have. Instead the idea stimulated her. She suddenly felt selfish for thinking about sex, when he was so ill. She ran a finger over his eyebrow. "I've really missed you," she said. "I truly hope you don't have any plans to go anywhere, Jean-Luc."

"No," he said quietly. "Not as long as you are here." With some effort, he moved over to his left and then patted the bed next to him. She smiled and got in next to him.

"How are you feeling?" Troi asked gently. Demetrius had finished his hot chocolate quickly, but had said very little.

He stared into the bottom of his mug as though wishing there were more.

"I am sure we can get you another cup, if you would like," Troi said.

Demetrius smiled. "Thank you. I have not eaten real food in many years. You are very kind to me." His smile faded and he looked back into his empty cup. "I feel very…out of place."

"That is understandable. My sense is that you have been isolated for many years."

"That is true," agreed Demetrius.

"Why? Where have you been?"

Demetrius looked away. "I do not want to say. Not until…."

"Until what, Demetrius?"

"I want to know what happened to my parents. I must know; did they survive?"

Deanna straightened. "Demetrius, I don't know what happened to your parents."

"My teacher knows. Where is she?" he glanced around them.

To Deanna's surprise Guinan entered Ten Forward at that moment and approached to stand next to them. "I'm here, Demetrius. Now what is it you want to know?"

"Are my parents alive?"

Guinan pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. Troi watched the interplay between them curiously. Demetrius looked very old compared to Guinan, and yet he seemed very much the student he claimed to be, sitting there in front of her.

Guinan glanced at Troi and then back to the old man. "What do you think, Demetrius?" Troi looked at her with silent alarm. Why was she asking him what he thought? Clearly the old man did not seem to know, or at least he seemed desperate for the truth. Or perhaps he was just desperate to hear that his parents were alive. Yes, as Troi watched him she sensed that his fear of finding that his parents might be dead grew, as he and Guinan continued to stare silently at each other.

"Tell me teacher, do they live?"

"Demetrius, you saw your parents die in front of you. And you are asking me if they are alive? Why?"

"He—he told me that they could be redeemed, that they could be saved."

"The Other is the king of all liars, Demetrius. And until you come to terms with what happened to your parents and what happened to you, you will be forever living a lie."

Bring the new one to me," boomed Doulos. "He is different from the others."

Ensign Barnes bowed his head. "Yes, Sire. He is a Klingon and will be a very powerful asset to you in battle."

"Hmm…a Klingon." He was not sure he was familiar with that species. "And the female Klingon?"

"She escaped, Sire. No doubt she will attempt to join the other insurgents."

"Let her go. She will come to regret her choice not to join us."

"Yes, Sire," Barnes agreed confidently.

"Where have the insurgents retreated to?" Doulos demanded.

"Deck 10, Sire," said Barnes. "But for some reason we have not been able to penetrate the energy shield of unknown origin, present in the entry points on Deck 10. The insurgents pass in and out of it with no effort."

"Find the reason," shouted Doulos. "They must be made to join us, or they must die."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Now that Picard is dead, and I have be-headed the mechanical one, I must know who the leader is."

"Sire, that would be Commander Riker, but as far as I know he is still injured. Assuming he is not yet back on duty, next in command would be the Chief Medical Officer; Doctor Crusher."

Doulos stood up from his throne and stretched his broad shoulders. He stepped down and walked to one of the fountains along the wall. The water pouring out of the wall was crystal clear, but the pool it emptied into was black. He leaned over and stared into it. "Beverly Crusher…my one true love," he whispered, and an image of her face appeared in the pool. He reached into the pool as if trying to touch her face, but the image shimmered and then disappeared. Frustrated, Doulos' clenched his hand into a fist underwater. His master was teasing him. He quelled a rage that threatened to rise inside his chest. He must not question his master. But….

Barnes walked up behind him. "Yes…Beverly Crusher. You know her Sire?"

Doulos spun around and struck Barnes in the side of the face with the back of his fist, making a wet smacking sound. Doulos' followers who stood at various points around the former bridge watched as Barnes fell to the floor heavily. He scrambled backward as Doulos stalked toward him and grabbed a handful of Barnes' hair, pulling him up to his feet. Barnes cried out in pain.

"Do not utter her name out loud. Do not even think of her!" Doulos shook Barnes back and forth with the force of his wrist like a rag doll.

"I—I am sorry, Sire. I did not mean any offense," Barnes choked, cowering.

Doulos growled and tossed the man away into a sobbing heap before rising to his full height to address the onlookers. "A reward goes to the one who lures Beverly Crusher out of the safety of the energy field on Deck Ten. Once she is outside of the field you must notify me discreetly so that I may appear. If I find that anyone here has even touched her, make no mistake that you will die very painfully by my hand."