Chapter 17 - Swear It All Over Again

There is a short moment when one begins his wake in the morning - or any other time of day when one might wake from sleep for that matter - where your conscious mind had yet to fully grasp it's surrounding and its place within it.

Coming out of either a dreamless sleep or one filled with them, ranging from vague and distant, to vivid and veritable - either way, it is a moment of pure oblivion, in which one is still dazed from sleep and not yet aware of oneself and his whereabouts in the universe.

Slowly growing conscious of existence and the world that had been momentarily forgotten in the bliss of sleep, all the days worries and fears set aside for ones tomorrow to deal with.

Questions like, "Who am I?", "Where am I?" and "What do I need to do today?" or "Where do I need to be?" - being answered one by one, and with each answer, the flood of worries and fears left behind by ones yesterday, come rushing in.

It is the first morning in quite a few days, where Magnus wakes and does not feel flooded. As his mind slowly stirred awake, becoming aware of the sunlight pouring in through the open curtains, of his bedroom window. For the first time in days, he had a good sense of who he is, and the familiarity of where he is - and they allow him to bask in this moment, dreading the moment it ends, because finally, finally he felt content again.

His awareness continued to grow, as wandering hands hugged him from behind, pulling him closer to the comforting heat coming from another body. They slowly roamed up and down, along the curves of his waist, hips and thighs, as if assessing and verifying. Magnus found himself pushing further back into the warmth and solidness, feeling protected and satisfied.

A warm nose nuzzled into the nape of his neck, generating a satisfied moan which made its way from the deepest corner of his stomach, up through his chest and out of his mouth. Then soft cushion lips found their way up his neck to the base of his ear. "Good morning." they murmured fondly against his skin.

"Morning." he breathed out in a raspy voice.

"I've missed waking up next to you." Alec whispered as he leaned over him and placed another long kiss on his temple, then he traced his hair line with more small kisses.

Magnus turned over and snuggled in close, nuzzling his face into Alec's bare chest. Alec chuckled and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him closer. Magnus didn't really know how to reply to that, so he stayed silent and hums half in substitute of an answer and half in an outlet for his pure satisfaction.

"When do you need to go back to the institute?" Magnus eventually broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them. This time it is Alec that hums in content and tightened his hold on his warlock, as if he has no intentions of leaving the bed or his arms any time soon.

"I don't," He replied with his eyes closed, placing a kiss on the top of Magnus' head, "I left Jace and Izzy incharge, so we can spend the day together."

"Did you have anything special in mind?" Magnus asked in a sweet and curious tone, peeking up at his shadowhunter.

"Yes actually," Alec loosened his grip on Magnus slightly so he can look at him properly, "what do you say about portaling us to Tokyo?"

"Isn't it nearing midnight in Tokyo right now?" Magnus raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"Yeah, but we can go later on, tour the city a bit, get dinner… well, lunch according to their time zone." Alec suggested with a warm smile.

"Okay, but why Tokyo?"

"Well, you said you wanted to revisit places we've been together," Alec explained, "and well, Tokyo was a great day."

"Tokyo it is then." Magnus agreed with a small smile, content that Alec was actually coming through on his promise to take him to places that may trigger his memories. "So what would you like to do until then?"

"For starters I was thinking we could get some breakfast," Alec looked at Magnus with a sudden glint in his eyes, as they both lay on their sides facing each other, "Maybe you could conjure up those waffles from that place in brussels we both love."

Magnus chuckled at Alec's boyish excitement, and relished in the feeling of that simple but miningful moment, before replying, "Maison Dandoy?" he asked in a proper french accent, to which Alec rolled his eyes, although his smile did not ceas.

They sat at the kitchen table as Magnus snapped his fingers a few times, and a spread of delicious foods and drinks appear on the table. Alec closed his eyes and breathed in the wonderful scents that filled the kitchen.

"Okay, so black coffee two suger for you, Mocha-latte for me," Magnus announced as he handed Alec his coffee and then a plate of waffles, "Strawberry and chocolate for you, and white-chocolate and raspberry for me." Magnus smiled warmly at Alec and lifted his cup to his lips, but stops short when he noticed the baffled look on Alec's face.

Alec had been watching wide-eyed as Magnus handed him his drink and waffles, feeling his breath hitch as he monitored Magnus' movements, and the complete natural ease in which he did so, "What? What is it?" Magnus asked in concern, "I thought it's what you wanted."

"Yes, but how did you know?" Alec asked suspiciously, raising one eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Magnus asked slowly, completely confused, replaying their previous conversation in his head, "You told me when we were in bed you wanted waffles from Maison Dandoy, all I did different was added in their coffee as well because it's so good."

"No, Magnus, how-" Alec raises his hand and gestured to his food and drink, "how did you know what I like? I never told you. I mean I did, you used to know obviously, but..." Alec's voice trailed off as his words seemed to sink in and Magnus understood what he meant.

"Oh."

Suddenly a smile erupted on Alec's face as Magnus watched him in shock and confusion, "You remembered something?" he asked in excitement.

"No I- I just… I instinctively knew I guess," Magnus said, putting down his cup and rubbing his face, before looking back up at Alec who was still smiling. "Why are you smiling? I didn't remember anything special." Magnus then dropped his gaze and watched his hands as they rubbed at each other.

Alec got up off his seat and kneeled down in front of Magnus, He place his hands on his knees and rubbed circles with his thumbs as he smiled up at him, "I know you didn't remember anything Major, but to me it doesn't matter." Alec told him, his voice filled with tenderness, "Because it's those small things that really show your care. And the fact that you can remember that without your memories, just proves it even more. It goes to show that our love is special, and strong."

Magnus raised his eyes to look at Alec as he listened to him speak, and a small smile appeared on his lips. When Alec put his hand on his cheek, he leaned into the touch, "How do you always know the right things to say?" He asked, his voice quiet and tender.

"It's easy," Alec says, his smile growing, "because it's you."

Alec was pulling a confused Magnus along, with a sense of deja-vu, in hopes that this special moment they had once shared together, would trigger something deep in his lover's heart. Now more than ever, Alec felt hope that they could recover all the memories that had been lost.

Magnus may have sent his memories to oblivion, but after breakfast it had become clear that there is still something there, deep down inside him, that held onto them. Neither knew exactly what it was, or how big and significant. But it was there, and with it came the inevitable expectations and optimism, that there was still something that could be done, a way to salvage.

"Where are we going?" Magnus asked, looking slightly concerned, but nonetheless allowing Alec to pull him along by his wrist. "You're being too vague for my liking."

Alec looked back at his warlock and smiled, both from excitement and from the nostalgia. "I told you," He said with a mischievous smile, "It's a surprise."

"I don't like surprises." Magnus insisted, and Alec couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips as Magnus paused his steps and looked at him with apprehension.

"Yeah, yeah, you've told me that before," Alec told him, his smile exhibiting that he was enjoying the whole thing, a little too much for Magnus' liking, "But then you always say how I never ceases to amaze you, and I know you love that."

"Don't pretend like you know me better than I do myself," Magnus gave him a mock-angry and annoyed look, which Alec found terribly adorable, which was probably not what Magnus was going for. "And stop smiling at me like that, this isn't funny. And why is this taking so long?"

Alec closed the gap between them, let go of Magnus' wrist and cupped his boyfriends cheeks, urging him to stop frowning, "If you would just shut up and let me take you to your surprise already, you wouldn't have to wait so long." Alec told him before leaning down and kissing him softly on the lips, "Patience has never been your strong suit."

"Shut up and take me to my surprise." Magnus got out of his hold and began walking in the direction they were walking towards before.

Alec chuckled again and shook his head, then began walking after his stubborn warlock, "and besides, I do know you very well." he called after him, "even if you can't remember that."

Magnus stopped dead in his tracks again and froze in his spot, because it was true. Magnus couldn't remember them, and it made the whole thing feel very new to him, and that made him forget sometimes that it wasn't new for Alec, that Alec could still remember everything. Which meant that Alec did know him very well, and he definitely knew him way better than Magnus knew Alec.

"Shit, I'm sorry." Alec said, walking up to face him, "I didn't mean it like that."

"No, I know, it's not that." Magnus said, looking up at his shadowhunter, feeling a whirlwind of feelings and emotions that he had no idea how to contain or deal with.

"Then what is it?" Alec asked gently, with the same tenderness and concern that he always reserved for his lover.

"It's just, you know me so well, but I can't remember anything." Magnus told him, "I don't really know as much about you."

"But just this morning-" Alec began but Magnus cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"I'm not talking about your coffee or waffles preferences." Magnus snapped a little more harshly than he intended. He took a deep breath and sighed loudly has he pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm talking about deeper things, like your mannerisms, or your deep wants and needs, secrets that probably once only I knew. Or all the stories and experiences that you shared with me, about your life and your family and-"

"Magnus." this time Alec had cut him off, he cupped his face once again, "I don't care that you can't remember. Sure, it's not ideal, but what's important is that we're here, and that we're both trying. And if you never remember, than I will just tell you again, and again, as many times as needed."

Magnus smiled at him softly before putting his hand on the back of Alec's neck and pulling him into a kiss. "How about you show me that surprise of yours now." He said once their lips parted.

They walked up to the big lock covered LOVE, and stood before the big heart. "You want us to put a lock on it together?" Magnus asked with a sweet smile, looking at Alec who was surveying the locks.

"No, we already have one." He said, smiling at Magnus before looking back at the locks, becoming more frantic when he couldn't spot it. "I swear it was here." he added as he moved some of the locks around.

Magnus reached his hand out as well, skimming his fingers softly through the locks. His movements were gentle and slow.

"Shit, I don't understand." Alec sounded extremely frustrated, "It was here, I swear it was here." He took a step back and scanned the whole heart once again.

Magnus looked sympathetically at Alec and then turned his attention back to the locks, something was consuming his attention. He focused on the stream of energy he suddenly felt, and when it became too much he snached his hand back and gasped. There was a strong jolt of energy, remnants of his own magic.

"What is it?" Alec asked him with concern, standing closer to him and placing his hand softly on his shoulder.

Magnus turned his attention back to Alec and opened and closed his mouth a few times before he could find the words, "I think I destroyed it." he said, looking mortified.

"What? Why would you say that?" Alec asked, sounding a bit hurt.

"I can feel remnants of my magic," Magnus explained, bowing his head, "and I- I can um, I can sense it somehow, I don't know. Like with breakfast this morning, I just have this strong instinct that I did it."

"Oh." was all Alec could manage, not sure how to process the information. He dropped his hand that was still on Magnus' shoulder and used it to run through his hair as he sighed. "Shit."

They both looked at each other, not knowing exactly how to react to the new found information. It seemed they were both trying to make some sort of sense out of it all. It was a never ending stream of curve balls that just wouldn't let them get past the whole ordeal.

"This was not how I planned this, this is the opposite of what I wanted," Alec finally said, sounding extremely frustrated, "this was supposed to bring back good memories, not bad ones that affirm just how much I hurt you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen." Magnus said, bowing his head again, feeling ashamed, "I can't really remember doing it, but I just know I did, and it makes me feel so stupid, destrying it was-"

"It is a testament to how much I hurt you." Alec cut him off, placing a hand under his chin and lifting his head, forcing their eyes to meet, "and I'm the one who is sorry, because I'm the reason you did it."

"No." Magnus insisted, shaking his head, "let's not do this anymore, let's not dwell on the pain we both caused, and no more apologies."

Alec smiled and pulled Magnus into a warm and strong embrace, "You're right." he agreed, "we should just focus on making this better and moving forward."

"So how about we put on a new lock and swear to never let anything or anyone come between us again?" Magnus suggested as he pulled back slightly to look up at his boyfriend, "lets swear our eternal love again, and this time we work even harder on not destroying it."

"Yes, that sounds amazing." Alec agreed.

Magnus took a step back and used his magic to conjure up a new lock, he smiled up at Alec, pecked him on his lips and walked towards the big heart. "Wait," Alec stopped him, placing his hand on Magnus'. "Last time you umm, you wrote 'I love you' on it," Alec explained sheepishly, "In Indonesian."

Magnus smiled at him and used his magic one more time to add the same words to the lock, as Alec watched with amazement.

'Aku Cinta Kamu' appeared in gold cursive writing on the silver lock.

Magnus and Alec spent the rest of the afternoon and evening walking around the city, hitting spots that had special meaning to them. Magnus couldn't remember any of them, and none of them triggered his memories back, but Alec enjoyed telling him all about them, revelling in the feeling of reliving it all.

They walked around for hours, stopping every so often for a drink or something to eat. And when the time zone was more or less right, they portaled to Tokyo and strolled the streets there. They walked through the different markets and Nakamise shopping street, where Alec showed Magnus the shop where he bought the Omamori charm.

Alec told stories of his family and his childhood, stories that Magnus had already known once, but Alec did not mind telling him again. Magnus smiled and laughed, he asked questions about different things he wanted to know, or when he wanted Alec to elaborate on something that particularly peaked his curiosity.

They spent hours talking and telling stories, Alec couldn't remember the last time he spoke so much, but didn't mind one bit, when he saw how happy it made Magnus, how interested and adamant Magnus was on knowing everything, discovering and revealing all he could in the time they had.

Magnus also told his own stories, and shared moments from his own life that most of them Alec had already heard, but did not say anything, he did not stop Magnus once to tell him he already knew, because he loved hearing it all over again, and he didn't want Magnus to feel like he was overbearing, or that he was the only one that needed to reacquaint. Because Alec may have known the stories, but he felt like he was getting to know Magnus all over again, in a new and fresh light.

They stepped out into the terrace of the palace hotel, after having dinner at the Wadakura Japanese restaurant, one of the many restaurants in the hotel, but the only one that held so much significant to their relationship.

"It's beautiful up here," Magnus said as they looked out at the city view, it was early afternoon in Tokyo, which meant the middle of the night for them, which meant they had spent hours walking and talking, but neither of them minded. "Thank you for today, it was amazing."

"I'm sorry none of it triggered anything." Alec said wrapping his arm around Magnus' shoulder.

"But it did," Magnus insisted, "maybe not my old memories, but it triggered all these wonderful stories that we shared with each other, and truly that is enough for me now."

"For me too." Alec agreed, turning Magnus in his arms and wrapping his arms around the other man's waist, "I want to share with you something else we shared last time we were here."

Magnus wrapped his own arms around Alec's neck and looked up at him with curiosity. Alec just smirked and them leaned down and closed the small gap between them, bringing their lips together in what began as a slow and soft kiss, but then grew into a heated and deeper kiss.

"Let's go home." Magnus said between kisses.