His mom filmed as they brought little baby Clark Jr. through the door. He was nestled in Lana's arms, and Clark tried to smile and be happy for the camera if nothing else, but he felt more distant from his wife and son than ever. It didn't matter that Lana had named the baby after him. It didn't make him feel like a father. He felt like a phony. Like he had someone else's wife and son.
His mom had gone to a lot of trouble. There was a "Welcome Home" banner, a cake and other treats for the adults, and cute paper plates and cups with rubber ducks and bubbles on them. None of it filled him with the least little bit of joy.
He couldn't force himself to feel something that he didn't. He could play a role, the whole fake-it-until-you-make-it idea, but his feelings were beyond his control. He didn't want to hurt Lana on what should have been a joyous occasion when she noticed his mood.
His mom switched off the camera and started cutting into the cake.
"I left a present out in the barn," he claimed. "I'll be right back."
His mother shot him a look of concern, but Lana's attention was only on Clark Jr.
There was no present. He'd have to come up with one. Lana already accused him of not hiding his powers well every time he turned around, so he might as well superspeed and get a piece of jewelry and a toy for the baby when he finished trying to work through all his confusing feelings, but before that could happen, the source of his confusion came up the stairs.
"Lois, what are you doing out here? How'd you know where I'd be?"
"Are you ever anywhere else when you need to brood?" she teased.
"You shouldn't be here." Not when he wanted nothing more than to pull her in his arms and kiss her again.
"Yes, I should. I have to tell you the truth. I didn't come to Smallville to see Chloe."
"No, Lois, don't. I don't want to hear it." He'd cover his ears if he thought he could block out the sound.
If she said something like " I love you," he might even say it back, and he couldn't do that with a child who needed him in that house. If it had just been Lana, he might have been able to walk away from his marriage because she didn't need him. She hadn't for a long time if she ever had, but their son did.
He listened in. Lana was chattering away to his mother about the adorable boys' clothing she had seen before she went in to the hospital. She didn't even notice he was gone or care.
"What is it? Do you hear something.? Do you need to go save someone?"
His eyes widened. He didn't know how she knew, but she knew. It was Lana's worst nightmare coming to life. A reporter knew his secret. "What? No. I don't know what you're even talking about."
She smiled with little to no amusement. "Sure you don't. I don't know how you could do it. Any version of you. Ignore the cries of people who you could help."
She wasn't buying that he didn't have powers. It wouldn't matter what he said. "It's not easy, but I realized I can't live with guilt for not being able to save everyone. I can save some of the people in my circle of influence, and that has to be enough."
"No, I get that. I'm not saying you should be God and protect everyone in the whole world all the time, but you could do more than be a cop in a small town. Why aren't you doing more?"
"Lana-"
"Now it's my turn to say I don't want to hear it. That's not an excuse."
"I understand you're married to a superhero-"
"Yes, I am-"
"But you can't expect everyone to get it and be so understanding. I chose to be a family man."
"And I'm saying why can't you be both? You can be both." Her eyes glittered passionately. She felt things so deeply, and she couldn't keep silent. He supposed that's what made her so good at her job.
"So that's why you came to Smallville? To try and convince me to become a superhero. How'd you find out?"
"That's a long and complicated story, but I did come because of you." She took his hands, and he let her. "You and I are-"
"Get your hands off of my wife!" Oliver Queen had just joined the party.