Chapter 1

Roses pov

Why did he leave? Why am I not enough for him? I thought that he loved me. I guess I was wrong and now that I am sitting here crying, and since when does Rose Hathaway cry I guess that when he left me he took all my strength with him. But I can't do this I can't let it get the better of me and I won't let it not anymore not after all of this. He promised that he would never leave and that he would never hurt me but he broke that promise so I'm not going to allow it to upset me any longer.

So, I got up and walked to Lissa's room 'I guess it is time to come clean' I thought to myself as I knocked on her door, within 30 seconds she was standing in front of me. "Rose have you been crying",she asked me.

"Can I come in I promise I'll tell you everything once I get inside", she looked at me with a worried look but let me in without a word anyway.

"Okay now that you are inside are you gonna tell me what is going on?" Liss asked me.
"Okay, so as you know Dimitri was my mentor and is now gone, she nodded her head, anyway we weren't just student mentor we are or were in love well at least I thought we were but I was the only one to feel that way and now that he is gone I don't know what to do", I said and yet again I started crying what is up with me and all this crying, immediately she wrapped her arms around me.

"Oh my god Rose I'm so sorry I don't know what to say I just wish you would have told me sooner", Lissa said.

"I know I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner", I said.

"It's okay I understand why you didn't tell me sooner, but it all makes sense now with the way you guys looked at each other but what doesn't make sense is him leaving the way he did", she said

"That's what I'm trying to figure out" I said.

"Do you want to talk about it? Tell me about your relationship with Dimitri. What was he like with you? How did it all start" Liss urged.

"I don't know it's all so new and fresh with him just leaving I don't know if I can even talk about it right now"

"Talking about it and getting everything out there and in the open may actually help you heal. It may even help you to move on. But I get it if you don't want to talk about it but I'm just worried about you and I don't want you to bottle everything up and try to deal with everything on your own. Not when you have me. Let me help you it's okay to lean on me a little bit and let me take care of you for once." She spoke softly. She's right I probably should talk about it and who better to tell than my best friend and I know that she really wants to help me. So, I took a deep breath before I started talking.

"Alright, well I guess I'll start at the begining. We tried to keep things strictly to a teacher and student relationship and it worked for awhile I guess. I honestly thought it was just me with the feelings for a long time and I tried to hide them and ignore them. I really did because I didn't want to do anything stupid and give Kirova a reason to kick me out. But there was and is just something about him that drew me in and kept me so interested in him. I mean I fell in love him when I really shouldn't have. He fell in love with me too or at least I thought he had. I'm not so sure anymore. But it all started with little things like the way he talked about his home, his family, and even how serious he took all the training and just how great of a guardian he is. But it was more than that it was how upset he got with me when he caught me and Jesse. It was how he got upset when he saw how messed up my hands had got from all the training and they were cracking and splitting open. But I guess what really sent us into dangerous territory was the lust charm that Vistor put into my necklace"

"Wait, what lust charm. I thought he put something in there to make you attack Dimitri and be really aggressive" Lissa interrupted confused by this new piece of information.

"Yeah, that's not really what happened exactly that's just the story we told everyone. It was actually a lust charm and it made me want to kiss him and do other things way more than I usually do and we did kiss we actually almost slept togther but he figured it out and got the necklace off oe me and snapped us both out of the trance it had us in before it could get quite that far. Then later he told me that it was just the charm and he had no feelings for me whatsoever outside of just being my mentor. But later I learned that both people need to be attracted to eachother for the charm to even work. He ended up admitting it and telling me how he felt about me when he saved me from Natalie."

"Wow, thats a lot I can't believe I never figured it out. I mean I guess I get why you didn't tell me but I can't believe I didn't see all the signs"

"We all had a lot going on at the time so it's understandable. But I think I need a break from talking about it right now. But I promise I will tell everything else later I just need a break from talking about him."

" Okay, that's fine I totally understand you can tell me the rest whenever you are ready. But just know I am here for no matter what. Wait , hold on I can't actually believe I almost forgot this but Dimitri did give me this today and told me to give it to you when I see you", she said handing me a letter.

Roza,

If you're reading this I'm already gone. Please understand that I am doing this for you. You need to live a real life not one of secrets and lies. I know that this will be hard and it won't make any sense to you. But please always know that I love you more then you will ever know and I always will. But please move on with your life and forget about me it is what's best for you. Don't waste your life waiting on someone who isn't coming back and someone who can't give you everything that you deserve. You deserve better than that you deserve better than me. I know that you will do great things with your life and I'm so proud of all the things that you have already accomplished. But please don't stop living your life because of this.

Love always,

Dimirti.

Yet again I started crying and handed the letter off Lissa. She read it quickly, when she was done she pulled me into a hug and told me that everything was going to be okay. I really hope she is right.

Sorry that chapter was so short this is my first fanfiction. please review also this is very loosely based off the books as I will have a character who is dead in the books alive and active in the story. I will include some events that have happened in books but most of it will be made up by me. Also I do not own VA or any of the characters associated