Chapter 3 – Apology
Kagome smiled at Sango as her friend droned on about her Ethics class. It had been almost a week since Mirokus' birthday party. She had been shaken that night, she didn't like to be the center of attention in any situation, but especially not a foreign one. After they had gotten back to their dorms room she had fallen into bed and slept like she had been awake for days.
Sesshomaru hadn't come to her thoughts until the next morning, and she had been thankful it was the weekend and she could spend the day mulling over her internal questions.
Would Kikyo treat her even worse in practice now? The rational part of her brain reasoned that this was college now not high school, and the Captain of a club would only be able to make things slightly worse.
Then what about Sesshomaru? She had learned from Sango that day that the captain of the kendo team was seldom at such parties. Despite his looks, academic, and sports achievements he did not flaunt his success. Her friend was only a year older and hadn't known Sesshomaru very well but she also didn't believe him to be a player, never having seen him with another woman.
Why had he kissed her then? Perhaps it was a product of the alcohol, he had consumed a nominal amount during their game. She reasoned that if that was the case, his apology had been because he believed he had offended her. The way he had fled the room troubled her though, was he ashamed because of all the other people watching? She knew that no matter how much she speculated no answer she came to would be equal to asking the demon Captain himself.
That posed a mighty mountain to conquer, he had thoroughly captured her interest in the two times they had met and she now had questions that her mind wouldn't let her leave unanswered.
"…. Can you believe that Kagome?" She snapped her eyes to Sango's brown ones as they finally neared the athletics building.
She scratched the back of her head sheepishly. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" She asked her friend.
Sangos' eyes narrowed before she sighed heavily. And opened the door for them to go inside. "Nothing important, have you talked to him yet?" She asked and Kagome looked at the ground shyly.
"Ah no… I just haven't run into him yet." She looked up and smiled slightly. Quickly busying herself with checking her watch, it read 5:36 pm.
They reached the clubroom quickly; it was a Thursday so most clubs didn't have practice including their own. Sango was accompanying her to do some personal practice. The older girl knew how to operate the moving target machine and was happy to help her practice.
"Well make sure you take the opportunity if it comes up." Sango said softly as they entered the locker room and changed quickly. Kagome donned her new college uniform. The blue hakama a nice change now that she had a few days to get used to them.
To her surprise Kikyo had been completely normal at practice on Monday, still awful and horribly chatty, but no worse than before. She had even given her the new uniform without much of a fuss.
"I will Sango. But right now, I need to conquer these discs." She replied back to her friend as they exited the locker room with their equipment in tow.
"Ok, you just seem distracted." Sango eyed her knowingly as they began to stretch.
They finished warming up and she followed her friend to the laptop controlling the disc machine that she struggled with. She watched as her friend turned it on and instructed her on how to set the machine.
Once she had a grasp on the controls Sango let her set the first round. "We can take turns." Kagome said as she lined up first on the balcony, waiting for Sango to clap in a signal that the machine was about to fire.
After half an hour of struggling to hit the fifth arrow in each round, Kagome finally called a break and took a seat as Sango fetched them each a bottle of water before settling beside her.
"How do the group members hit them all so easily?" Kagome asked her friend.
Sango set her drink down. "They are all Mikos, Kikyo, Tsubaki, Botan, Momiji, Kaede, and Tsukiyomi." She continued after naming the core members. "Kaede is Kikyo's older sister, and probably the nicest of the group, she explained it to me once as guiding her arrows with her spirit." She shrugged her shoulders lightly. "I'm not really sure what that means since I'm not a Miko."
Kagome couldn't really picture it either, she sometimes felt the touch of that explosive power from weeks ago but it never occurred to her to try to use it. She frowned as she thought of her miko class, it was proving to be fairly useless.
"Apparently I am a miko," Kagome said finally to break the silence between them.
Sango didn't look surprised and patted her on the shoulder. "I knew I saw promise in you!" They rose from their resting spot and Sango made her way to the laptop. "I've got half an hour before I need to pick up my little brother from school. Let's do one more round." Kagome nodded and walked back to the balcony, trying to focus on her practice.
By the time the round was finished both girls were sweating and Kagome had been no closer to figuring out how to hit the fifth arrow. Sango quickly gathered her things and bid Kagome farewell. "Don't forget that the building closes at nine!" She yelled as she practically ran out into the hall.
Once she was alone Kagome turned to the empty room. She had wanted Sangos help with the target machine but now she had a new challenge to tackle, how was she supposed to use her miko power to strengthen her archery?
She mulled the thought over for a moment, she had learned from her miko class that people of holy power wielded their energy in a similar way to demons and their youki, though she hardly understood what that was. Her mind flashed to Sesshomaru; he may be able to answer some of those questions as well.
She worried her lower lip between her teeth and eyed the door of the clubroom. His club was right next door and she wondered if he would be there. She hadn't noticed any of the kendo club members in the hall earlier so his club probably didn't have practice today.
Still, she could knock on the door and find out, she hadn't been searching for him but she was overflowing with curiosity and if he was there and not conducting practice at least she wouldn't be interrupting anything.
Steeling her nerves and shelving her doubts Kagome left her club room and paced the few steps to the next door down in the hall. She rapped lightly against the door with her knuckles waiting for a moment with bated breath. When she heard nothing, Kagome released a small sigh of disappointment and relief and turned to walk away. After taking only a single step the door slid open quickly and she turned back to the portal.
Kagome turned and froze as the image of Sesshomaru standing tall in the doorway greeted her. His long hair was pulled back as it had been the last time that she had seen him, his form was clad in similar clothing to her own. She finally settled her gaze on his face and turned to face him fully as his amber eyes widened and he looked as if he wanted to speak, opening his mouth before snapping it shut as his gaze turned from pleading to mournful.
"Ah… are you… busy Sesshomaru?" She could barely expel the words under the weight of his changing gaze but she had to get the answer to her questions, the worst he could do is tell her to leave, and even then, she would have at least one answer.
"No." He answered simply and quietly. She held his gaze and pushed the request from her lips with great effort. "Can we talk then?"
His eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn't recognize before he straightened slightly and stepped aside. "Of course." He replied and motioned for her to step inside.
Kagome took a calming breath and stepped past the tall demon, stopping once she was several feet into the room. She looked around slightly, taking in all of the different sports equipment and decorations from her own club room, as well as the fact that they were alone. She turned back to Sesshomaru and smiled shyly; he had been watching her look around.
"Is there somewhere we can sit down?" She asked slightly calmer than she had been in the hall.
Sesshomaru's golden gaze slid from her to a glass door on the wall across from them. "There is an outdoor yard." His words were soft and Kagome moved towards the door when he made no motions at all after answering her.
She stepped outside and settled onto the wooden ledge that hung slightly above the neatly groomed grass, assuming that Sesshomaru would follow her. She was calmed by his quiet demeanor as he joined her, sitting a little over a foot away from her and watching her with slightly side-eyes, she focused on diving into the conversation she had prepared over the time since the party.
"First, thank you for playing beer pong with me at the party, I had a really great time because of you." She wanted to start off the conversation light and she couldn't help the slight fluttering she felt in her stomach as Sesshomaru eagerly nodded before he replied. "It was my pleasure." His words were still soft but his tone was slightly clearer.
"Do you go to parties often?" She continued the conversation when he didn't comment further.
Sesshomarus gaze held hers firmly as a few moments passed in silence. "No, I went because I heard you would be attending." His eyes didn't shift from hers; his words were clear; he was being honest.
She asked her next question hoping his answer would be equally honest. "Why did you kiss me Sesshomaru?" She could hear her own heart thrumming loudly in her ears as she waited for him to answer once more.
The amber of his eyes swirled and darkened, she could clearly see lines of red creeping into the corners of his eyes and he leaned forward slightly as he spoke. "At that moment, it was my greatest desire." His words were clear but he seemed slightly strained as he talked.
Kagome turned away from him, finally breaking their eye contact as she felt heat creep across her cheeks. She finally got the answers she was looking for and now she had, even more, beginning to form in her mind.
"You disliked it." The same strained tone met her ears and she turned to face him again. "The alcohol is no excuse for my lack of control, again I apologize for touching you without your consent." Her blue orbs widened as the kendo captain turned to face her, pulling his legs underneath his form and bowing his head to the floor.
Kagome waved her hands in front of her but realized he couldn't see her, her voice cracked as she spoke. "That's not… you don't need to… it's not that I didn't like it!" Her final exclamation had the blush on her cheeks darkening further.
Sesshomaru rose from his bow, the red in his eyes seeming to pulse as he caught her gaze and held it in a challenge. "You pushed away from me." His tone was becoming rougher. "You clearly feared me." He practically spat the last word and if he hadn't been bowing moments earlier, she would have thought he was angry with her. Instead, she took his change in tone as frustration and hurried to clarify his misunderstanding.
"You… startled me Sesshomaru, I wasn't exactly expecting you to kiss me." She continued quickly as his eyes narrowed slightly in disbelief. "I don't really do parties… Sango, uhm, my friend drug me there. It was already kind of overwhelming, then you… you know… and the crowd and Kikyo is my team captain… and… and… it was all just too much. I was afraid of the situation… not of you." She finally cut off her rambling and managed to make some sense with her words.
Sesshomaru's gaze still held hers and she squeaked slightly when he bowed his head to the floor again his clawed hands biting into the wooden floor making it splinter and crack. "I apologize."
Her eyes widened as she watched the display, she still wondered why this demon was so interested in like her but she had never been treated or pursued so earnestly before. He was truly sorry for causing her any discomfort and she had already forgiven him. She reached out to touch his shoulder and froze when he shivered and made a low whine.
She retracted her hand. "Please stop bowing Sesshomaru, I forgive you." When he rose, her eyes widened slightly as his own flashing gaze met hers, the red creeping at the edge of his eyes had almost fully taken over, the neat magenta lines on his cheeks were larger and jagged, and his breathing was long and slow.
"Sesshomaru… your eyes… what's wrong?" She had only seen a demon's eyes change a handful of times and it usually meant they were angry or scared, she didn't understand why he would be either of those things right now.
"My beast wishes for us to apologize in an inuyoukai way." His words were strained but clear, she noticed his upper fangs had grown slightly and made his words lisp dangerously. "Restraining myself is difficult… I do not wish to offend you again." Her gaze was drawn to his white-knuckled grip on the floor and she felt the flutter of emotion in her stomach again.
She looked back to his face and steeled herself for her next words, she had a feeling they would change their budding relationship from awkward acquaintances into something more and she wanted that to happen. For now, she desperately wanted to know more about the demon in front of her, wanted to understand why he had sought her out.
His scarlet and amber gaze never left hers as she opened her mouth. "Please… don't hold back Sesshomaru, I give you my permission." She smiled warmly and held out her hand in invitation.
Sesshomaru had been struggling for days, his mind wandered aimlessly. His muscles ached with tiredness since he had hardly slept. He had been consumed with guilt the night of Miroku's birthday, his intention for going had been to protect Kagome, perhaps take the opportunity to talk to her.
He had done so and everything was wonderful, but then he had lost it, just for a moment his tenuous grip on his control had slipped and he let himself drown in the pleasure of a single kiss. And drown he did, down to the deepest layers of filth, he had done exactly what he had set out to protect Kagome from.
He had taken advantage of the situation, of her trust, and now he was paying the price, struggling to function as grief at his actions consumed him. He had taken to resting in the yard at his club's dojo, he still couldn't sleep but sometimes he would smell Kagome's lingering scent next door and for a moment he would find a piece of sanity.
He realized now that he sought the young female as a mate, he was still young and it had taken him some time to understand the feelings. It was too late now, now he simply had to find a way to move on and try to calm his beast's constant painful whines. The creature hadn't stopped since the night of the party, but it seemed to realize she wouldn't be returning and had quieted it's crying enough for him to function, somewhat.
Even now he sat in the yard of his club's dojo, straining to catch the scent of the Miko from her club practice yesterday. He had almost jumped in surprise when her scent had hit him strong and unbridled as she entered the archery clubroom with another female.
He had closed his eyes and laid back on the floor, letting her voice and scent wash over him. He didn't know how much time had passed, his lids were heavy and he had barely heard the soft noise of someone knocking at his own club room door.
He rose slowly and made his way to the portal, his steps quickened as the scent of the person on the other side reached him.
There stood Kagome and his mind had gone completely blank. Each of her first questions washed over him in a wave of relief at her sweet tone so close to his ears. He hadn't stopped his answers from flying freely, giving her anything she wished to know if only she would stay in his sights for a few moments longer.
When they moved to his sacred yard, he realized she was there to find his reasoning for his actions that Friday night that seemed so long ago, and he told her honestly, that he had been too weak to control himself.
The words stung his mouth as they left him but she deserved nothing but the truth, and he knew that if he had any chance of rectifying what he had done that he needed her to understand the depth of his claims.
He apologized repeatedly, trying to earn her forgiveness and trying to sate his beasts' desire to hold her close and assure her she would be safe with him. The miko was Human and may not understand his actions for what they were.
His beast continued to struggle, it didn't understand why he wouldn't touch her and he cursed his minds' tiredness as he felt his youki rising to the surface of his skin.
"… I give you my permission." Kagomes words reached him in soft acceptance and he hesitated to move from his position, still not quite believing she would welcome his advances.
"Inuyoukai communicate through touch." He spoke and closed his eyes realizing his words were slurring around his fangs, but he couldn't stop the minor changes if he wished to retain control of his entire form.
He inhaled sharply and his eyes flew wide open when a cool palm pressed against his cheek. Blue depths meeting him with acceptance swirling in their depths. He let out his breath and turned his cheek into her palm, nuzzling her fingers affectionately.
"Like this?" Her voice was so close and he realized she had scooted closer and he shivered as he felt the slide of her skin against the top of his hand as she gently pried his hand away from the abused floor.
His beast keened low in his mind in primal pleasure at the feeling of her touch, it was so close to the surface of his mind and skin that it shivered in his mental cage as if it could literally feel the young Mikos skin.
He moved slowly as he released the floor with his free hand and wrapped it around her form to press a palm against her back. "Let me… hold you." his words came out a statement but his rough tone was a desperate plea.
Kagome smiled at him again and moved closer, letting go of the hand she held in her grip she turned and pressed her back against his front and he pulled her against his chest firmly. He moved back and rested against the wall of the outer club room wall her body nestled between his legs and he wrapped his other arm around her waist to join the first.
His senses were on fire as he drank in her scent, the warmth of her body nestled against him was accompanied by the feeling of her soft curves under his arms. His beast crooned in a primal apology and at the satisfaction of contact with a pack member and he couldn't stop the sound from bubbling up and out of his own lips. A gentle rumble coming from his chest after the sound and he whimpered slightly as he buried his nose into the top of Kagome's head, inhaling her scent deeply.
He calmed slightly when a cool hand covered his own that rested on Kagome's waist. "You sound like you're in pain." The words reached his ears and he remembered again that the woman in his arms did not fully understand his actions.
"It is an apology." He loosened his hold on her slightly and bent forward to press his cheek against the warmth of her neck as he spoke, his breath fanning out against her shoulder. "Holding you like this… is meant to bring comfort." He waited a moment for Kagome to respond, when she didn't move and only hummed in understanding he moved further to press his cheek against hers.
"Do you dislike it?" He asked, needing to know that he wasn't the only one deriving satisfaction and pleasure from their actions.
Kagome shifted slightly and he realized she was keeping her hips away from his groin. "N…no, I don't dislike it." Her speech was stuttering and he realized she thought his pleasure was carnal. If he wasn't holding her in apology, he probably would have felt a great deal of lust but at the moment his pleasure was purely in satisfaction of her acceptance and in gratitude.
He pulled the Miko up and into his lap, wrapping his legs around her own and pulling her further against his chest as he rested his chin on her shoulder and closed his eyes. "You have nothing to fear." He spoke as his beast finally started to calm down and let him regain most of his control.
He felt Kagome turn to look at him, her breath washing against his cheek. "I'm sorry, I just thought…" Her words trailed off and Sesshomaru understood what she had tried to say.
"Your thoughts are not entirely incorrect." He replied as he shifted so he could open one golden eye to look at her as he spoke. "I am attracted to you, but this is truly an apology." He closed his eye and let the soothing rumble from before vibrate through his chest. After a few moments he felt Kagome relax against him and he smiled slightly as she unknowingly accepted his apology.
After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Kagome moved slightly in his embrace, turning to face him with her upper body. "May I ask you another question?" Her blue depths seemed calm and open as she looked at him.
"Anything." He replied easily, the ache of his elongated fangs finally gone making his speech smoother.
"Could you teach me how to use my reiki?" Her eyes were hopeful and he was slightly taken back by the question. "I don't really have anyone in my club who would be willing or able to teach me… I thought you might at least be able to teach me more than my useless class professor." She explained quickly and he understood what she desired but was unsure how to accomplish it.
"I am not entirely familiar with reiki." He admitted after a moment of thought. He looked to the floor in front of them as he considered her request earnestly and a thought occurred to him. Reiki and Youki opposed one another so perhaps he could help her at least learn how to draw on the power.
He released her waist with one hand and drew it in front of them when Kagome turned to look at his hand, he drew a small amount of his youki into his palm, creating a slivery green glow, before he spoke next to her ear. "Place your hand in mine, I have an idea that may help." She did as he asked and he shivered slightly as her cool palm contrasted the rest of her warm body as it slid into his grasp.
"Can you feel my youki?" He asked as he purposefully swirled the energy against her hand in his grasp.
Kagome gasped and her eyes widened slightly as she nodded and her fingers wiggled slightly. "Good, your energy should want to answer it. Do you feel anything in the center of your chest?" he asked, guessing that the feeling may be similar to how his own youki felt when he pulled the energy forward.
At the Mikos nod, he smiled slightly and continued. "Close your eyes and focus on that. Try to bring it forward with your mind until you can feel it in your hand." He instructed her carefully, strengthening the youki in his palm to help her draw on her purifying energy. She followed his instructions and when her hand began to glow and his skin tingled in the beginnings of a burn, he spread his youki to cover his hand and forearm as he braced for what he expected was coming.
Just as he suspected a small blast of purifying energy burst forth from Kagomes palm and around his protected hand before it died quickly after.
"Are you okay? I'm sorry!" She released his hand only to grab his wrist with both hands so she could inspect his palm.
Sesshomaru chuckled slightly and wiggled his fingers as he spoke from behind her. "I am fine, more importantly, that was an excellent response." He praised her and smiled when her relieved gaze turned to meet his.
"I thought… I'd blasted your hand off." She admitted sheepishly.
He smiled slightly at her words; she hadn't wanted to hurt him. His gaze shifted to her hands holding his and his sight caught the time on her watch and he sighed heavily. "It is getting late." He commented, the woman in his arms turning to check the time for herself.
"It's 9:35… we're locked in again." She laughed in earnest and began to rise from his lap. She brushed off her clothes and He rose to stand next to her. "I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time." She said politely and he found he disliked the formal tone.
"I enjoyed your company immensely." He told her honestly and was satisfied when she blushed and turned to go inside the club room. He gathered his things slowly while Kagome returned to her own club room to pick up her own things and he was pleased when she returned quickly.
They walked back out to the yard and he scooped her into his arms bridal style before he nimbly jumped over the short fence of his own club room yard and landed on the sidewalk on the other side.
He let Kagome slide from his grasp and touch her feet to the ground. She looked up to him and her grip remained firmly wrapped in his haori. "What does this make us Sesshomaru?" Her quiet question did not surprise him and he wouldn't dare give her anything but the pure honesty he had been answering her with so far, but his mind was jumbled by his tiredness.
"My beast… already considers you a part of our pack…" He paused at her confused look. "It feels my… desires… and instincts more… strongly than I do." He fumbled slightly to explain in a way that she would understand.
"How about… we go on a date this Saturday?" Kagome's words caressed his ears and he almost pulled her back into his arms at her understanding.
"Yes. Dating." He breathed out a sigh of relief remembering the tradition that most humans and demons his age participated in regularly. "I would like that very much." He responded.
Kagome smiled up at him brightly and he was stunned when she rose up to his face and quickly pressed her lips against his cheek before she pulled away from him, releasing his clothes. "I'll see you soon then." Her words danced around him as she turned to walk down the path leading to her dorms, she stopped when she was almost out of sight and turned back to look at him, waving as she rounded the corner.
He stood stunned for a few moments longer before he slowly turned to make his way to the parking lot. He was raw with emotion and overcome with tiredness, tonight he would sleep, of that he was sure.
*** Here's Chapter 3! Starting to get into the romance finally. Thank you for all the reviews from the last Chapter, it really helped me get in the mindset for the rest of this story. Leave me a comment and look forward to the next update! All reviews are appreciated!