I Don't Even Understand
Edward P.O.V
"Stop looking at me like that." I sneered at Renesme as we ate our early morning pancakes in my office. She just smiled brightly as she poured syrup all over hers.
"Like what?" My best friend and partner in crime since we were in college said to me.
"Like you know something I do not." I said as I roughly put the buttery pancakes in my mouth. Pancakes I started having with Renesme when Tanya refused to serve me my favorite dish because of how "hearty" it was and how full of cholesterol it had been. When Renesme heard of the fact that she wouldn't let me eat pancakes. We started ordering pancakes on Fridays before we started the days' work. Renesme never really liked Tanya, claimed she was too stuck up and had a stick up her ass. To be fair Tanya hated her too, said she was secretly in love with me and trying to break us up. That though was ridiculous. Renesme and I went on one date in college hooked up, realized we couldn't ever be the one for each other and became best friends. If we wanted to be together we could've long before Tanya came into the photo and long afterwards. I loved the girl just not in the way needed to be in a relationship… Renesme was just my best friend… it started and ended there.
"You like her… you like the scruffy little girl." She said smugly as she ate.
"She wears converse to a corporate building and put confetti in a blender for God sakes… do not insult me." I said as I ate.
"You stare at her all the time-
"No I don't"
"You stutter when she's around-
"No. I. Don't"
"You kissed her." She said finally and I groaned. I banged my head on my desk.
"I fucking like her." I said quietly. Renesme just laughed out loud. I looked up and glared at her and she put her hand over her mouth to muffle her giggles.
"Listen. It's a little crush and Tanya-
"Is getting married Edward. To fucking Embry." She sneered the last part. "Even if you do still kind of love her… you want to marry a girl who would betray you like that?" She asked me. Like she asked me every time we had the conversation of me moving onto another woman. I didn't respond and in that moment, I felt the engagement ring that I always remembered to carry in my pocket feel like an a hundred pound weight.
It hurt –
No it killed.
When she came by and asked me to come to the wedding. It hurt like fucking hell. I still loved the woman. Sure, we fought a lot, sure we didn't see eye to eye on things.
Things weren't perfect.
But I bought her a ring and I had promised to be the person she always envisioned herself with. She said she saw me being even bigger than I already was. So, I expanded the company. She said she saw us in downtown Manhattan before we married and moved to Greenwich, so I fought like hell, spent a fortune to get us into that amazing ass penthouse in that amazing building. My mother said she was perfect my father would've married her himself if he wasn't already.
So I bought the ring.
I saw what everybody else saw.
And I fucking loved it. I loved the life I saw, it looked perfect.
And then it wasn't. And then one night… I came home too early.
"You know Edward. I want you to be happy more than anyone you know… you know that."
"I know that." I agreed as I ate.
"But I don't want you to be with Tanya… I want you to be with anybody but Tanya." She said. I was shocked at what she said. Because she'd said certain things, but she's never been so straight forward about it. "I think she's all wrong for you. I genuinely believe that you and Tanya are one of those couples that everyone believes would look so perfect and just… are empty." She said truthfully as she ate. I blinked again. "I'm not saying marry Bella. I'm not even saying date the girl. I'm saying acknowledge that what you and Tanya had is done. Having the perfect ring does not mean you had the perfect relationship." She said. Before I could really even respond to that we heard laughter outside the door. Both of us looked at each other curiously before we went out and saw Bella's visitors. A tanned muscular man, a little girl and the teenager that always seemed to be following Bella everywhere. Angela. That was her name, and a little short girl with hair up to her shoulders.
"This isn't a playground kid." Bella said amused as she held onto the little girl. She didn't notice Renesme and I had opened the door to see the commotion.
"Oh hey. It's the Hotty Mc-Hotty boss man Angela." Said the little girl in Bella's arms. Just then Bella looked back at me and blushed a little bit.
"Do you have a filter? Ever?" The woman with short hair asked.
"Uncle Jacob says filters are for snobs." She answered at her mother as she took her from Bella's arms. The mother looked up at me.
"Sorry for the loud we just came to visit our little Bella at her job here." The girl said.
"Uh no we came to get her because she promised she would make us sloppy joes" Angela said not even bothering to filter herself or be coy. The short woman just stretched her hand out.
"My name is Alice… the child is mine… I apologize." She said I just shook her hand laughing.
"I'm Edward." I answered.
"And who are you?" The muscular man said looking at Renesme. She was leaning against the doorframe minding her own business.
"Renesme." She answered simply. "And you?" She asked him.
"Whoever you want me to be." He answered suggestively. I choked out a laugh at the man brazenly flirting with Renesme and Bella just looked at the man with aggravation.
"Is there a girl you won't try to sleep with Jake?" She asked him.
"That is all woman though." He said looking at Renesme up and down. Renesme just laughed softly.
"You can take me out to dinner. Tomorrow, I like Italian." Renesme said doing that thing she did that generally put men under her spell. This Jake character didn't stand a chance.
"Whatever you say beautiful." Jake said as Renesme strutted past him.
"Bella will give you my number. Don't be late, I punish for that." She said seductively as she walked away. Jake stared at her ass biting his fingers as she walked away. His head snapped to Bella in anger.
"Are you fucking kidding me!? You had that hot piece of ass here the whole time and never told me?" he said angrily. Both Bella, Alice and Angela rolled their eyes.
"Hey!" The little girl said going up to Jake and tugging on his pant leg. He let out a groan and went into his pocket before he slapped a twenty in the little girls hand.
"Interest." He said the girl looked at the twenty with stars in her eyes before she went to her mothers arms again.
"Mr. Hotty can you let Bella go? She makes the best sloppy joes-
"I can't leave now guys… I gotta real job now isn't that what everybody wanted? Let me work." Bella said amused.
"I'll have her out of the office by nine how's that sound?" I said to her crowd of fans.
"Wonderful." Angela said as they all said their goodbyes and turned to leave. Jake leaned back and Bella looked at him curiously when he came up to me.
"So… pointers." Is all he said.
"Take her to Port Angeles it's her favorite restaurant. Don't be late… be yourself. She likes originality." I murmured the last part as I looked at Bella who just smiled back her arms crossed.
"Gotcha." Is all Jake said before he walked away.
"You hurt her and I'll kill you." I said to his retreating figure.
"You see that girl? She's gonna break my heart and I'm gonna let her." He said amused continuing his walk not turning around. When he was gone Bella just sat in her spin chair.
"He's a good guy." She said quietly with a smile. I just nodded and then my eyes met hers.
"I'm sure he is." Was all I said before I knocked her desk twice. "Get to work Dwyer you gotta be out here by nine." I said with a wink before I disappeared behind the door. Burying myself into my own work.
-The next day-
"Oh come on" Sneered Rosalie as she picked at her salad. "She'd take you back if you fucking did something" She said with an eye roll.
"Rosalie… I don't want her back."
"You're lying… Embry's pathetic… he's like a dog." She said with that superior tone she always had. We were having lunch, why? I didn't particularly know… we hated each other. Well that was exaggerating we didn't hate each other we just…. Couldn't stand each other? Which is why When my little sister insisted we eat together I knew she had an ulterior motive.
"Is there a reason why you called this lunch? Other than to talk about my ex -girlfriend and ex best friend." I said already over the whole situation.
"Obviously why would I waste my time eating with you if there wasn't" She answered looking at her nails. I crossed my arms.
"On with it." I said.
"Mom and dad want you to break them up." She said simply and easily. Like she was talking about a pie recipe or … the fucking weather.
"What?" I said with disbelief.
"You heard me." She said as she patted invisible crumbs with her napkin and folded it off to the side. "They want you to break them up because Mr. Denali and dad are working on the-
"Twilight account" I said with her putting my head in my hands. Rosalie just smiled as she ate.
"Exactly. Daddy thinks it'll be best if you and Tanya end up together. The best thing for the company. Mr. Denali thinks Embry is a joke, we all know Tanya still loves you and all you have to do is…. Something. And everybody's happy. You get the girl of your dreams and we can all put this horrible chapter behind us." She said.
"Rosalie I'm not going to break them up Embry loves her."
"So do you." She responded easily.
"Rosalie it's morally wrong. Plus she cheated on me remember?" I said as if she forgot.
"Who could forget… you sulked for a year." She said rolling her eyes. I let out a deep breath.
"Look" I started.
"No you look. You could pretend to be this great guy… or you could realize that you're a Cullen. We step on who we need to step on to get to where we need to go. Tanya's a whore I'll give her that. But she cheated on you the same reason every woman cheats. She got bored. Entertain her Edward." She said. I just put my sunglasses and looked away as I thought. I didn't want to give Rosalie the satisfaction of knowing she was telling me something that enticed me. But it did.
"I don't know." I said
"Figure something out. Fuck get engaged too if you have to. Use that girl that slapped me once. I like her she's got spunk."
"Renesme?" I said rolling my eyes. "No that won't work." And then I looked at Rosalie with a devious smile.
"I do know someone." I said looking at her she just smiled.
"Perfect." She said
-Night time-
"Okay how about this?" Renesme said putting on the sixth dress of the night.
"Too slutty." I said as I took a sip of my water.
"Ugh!" She said taking it off right in front of me exposing her perfect tits and going back into her closet. I leaned against the closet as I heard her rummaging inside of it.
"I had lunch with my sister today."
"I don't like your sister. Remember when I slapped her?" Renesme said still rummaging in the huge closet.
"Yah... she really appreciates that by the way." I said half amused. She laughed out loud still rummaging.
"So what'd she want?"
"Came to tell me that she wants me to break up Tanya and Embry." It went quiet as she stuck her head out of the closet.
"You're joking right? You're not actually considering it are you?"
"Contrary to popular belief I'm desperate but not that desperate." I said lying through my teeth. Renesme bought it shrugging as she went back into her closet.
"Good, because fuck Tanya." She said as she emerged in a blue strapless dress that was the dress any guy would want a girl to wear on the first date.
"Well?" She looked at me expectantly.
"Beautiful." I said softly as she turned around and I zipped it up without having to be told settling my drink down. She looked in the mirror and I stood behind her. She smiled as she turned to the side and tilted her head.
"You're really excited for this date huh?" I asked her softly. Nothing but happy for my best friend in the entire world. She smiled up at me.
"I feel like this one is different." She said as she looked at her already made up face.
"I feel like this one is different too." I admitted to her with a little smile. She just looked up at me with a bright smile.
-Midnight-
When I got home from Renesme's I opened up a water and threw my keys on the counter. Letting the answering machine play.
"Hey Edward it's mommy… Why weren't you at the country club today? Stop hiding away and embarrassing me-
Click.
"Hey Edward it's Jenny calling from-
Click.
"Hey Ed… It's me Embry. Tan told me she gave you the invitation … I really hope you come man. We really want you there." Said Embry's voice I just smirked at the answering machine as I made the final decision to get back at this guy by stealing my girl back.
"Oh I'll be there alright." Was all I said before I went up to my bedroom thinking of the fact that I would have what I always envisioned soon enough.
-Wednesday-
Angela- Bella's neighbour was funny. Bella had explained to me once that the two neighbours who had hated each other had become inseparable one day when Bella blackmailed her to use her clothes. Now Bella had accounted for everything Angela did. She made sure she went to school, did her homework and in her words.
Made sure she didn't become a private school, prostitute dropout whore.
Her words… not mine.
Angela came by often. Sometimes on lunch sometimes to pick up Bella after work and the two would go get dinner at whatever restaurant. Often times Angela was sleeping over Bella's place even though she technically had her own. I couldn't help but notice at the way how all they seemed to do was fight… but all they did was protect each other. It was true what Bella had written on that sticky note. She was basically Angela's surrogate mother. I opened the door to smile at them outside her office as they worked on something.
"It looks better here. Now if you move it again I'll punch you in the throat" Bella said to Angela as they worked on a presentation I put Bella in charge of for my Japanese clients. I looked at her, lately she had been wearing more feminine like outfits but still had her dark, sarcastic touch to them. For instance, today, she was in a pretty long sleeved black turtle neck dress that hugged that amazing ass body in all the right places. Her dark little touch? It was black, and she was wearing knee high boots with it that most people wouldn't deem business casual. She always rocked it though she always rocked everything she wore.
"Are you going to help or are you going to stare at Bella's ass all day." Angela challenged me. Instead of looking ashamed I spoke.
"Well I planned to just admire but since you've put me on the spot." I said as Bella's eyes met mine. I walked up beside them looking at a rather impressive presentation board. "It looks great." I murmured because it did. I had to admit although Bella wasn't the most polished worker I had… she definitely was one of the best. She knew what the fuck she was doing on a day to day basis. She could speak to different types of crazies that walked through this office and she could even speak to the departments in other countries. One day I passed by and heard her speaking French. When I raised my eyebrow at it on how she knew the language she just smiled softly.
I went to a French school for two years.
Was all she said, before she went back to her lingo. It was in the moment that I realized the girl was nothing but a mystery to me. If I hadn't been so hooked up on Tanya I'd want to get to know her… really know her. There were things about her that confused me… she was like a mystery. Sometimes she would say things and it would be followed by a hidden smile as if there was a double meaning behind her words. There was a secret in her eyes and I always wanted to know what it was.
"Okay Mr. Boss man can I go now?" Angela asked both Bella and I.
"No." I said. "You can go find Renesme and send out the photocopies." I instructed.
"Ugh come on" She whined looking at Bella who crossed her arms.
"No… you still took it upon yourself to enter school and leave the building. So now I need to know where you are. At all times. You either work here, a nice office or you work at Maria's take my old waitressing job and serve your snotty little friends." Bella said sternly.
"You know you're not my mother." Angela sneered.
"Thank God for that." Bella challenged as she looked at the board. "But I am gonna tell you what to do… and you're gonna listen to me. Because I love you… Now go do the photocopies." Bella said with a smirk challenging the teenager. She just rolled her eyes and stubbornly turned to go do what we instructed her. When she was out of site Bella snorted, out a little laugh as she went back to work. I leaned against the door frame.
"You know I think it's great what you're doing with her." I said being truthful. She just looked up at me as she smiled.
"Forcing her not to be a fuck up?... Yeah. Wish she could say the same thing. She hates me." Bella said amused.
"No… she admires you… she'll never admit it though." I said to her. Bella looked at the direction that Angela walked.
"I don't need her to admit it… I don't care if she never thanks me… I just want her to be okay." Is all she said. It was silent for a moment as she gazed at the board, and then she snapped out of her trance.
"I need sharpies." She said nicely with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Before she walked away from me and out of site. It was in that moment that I had forever screwed myself over. Because I knew… I was certain in my heart of hearts that I had wanted her. That I wanted her more than I wanted Tanya, and I lied to myself. I knew what I wanted and I still made the decision to use Bella… to get what I thought I should have. I'll never truly understand why I did that.
OOOH The plot THICKENS.
We have Edward being a sleaze bag….Asshole, but hey makes for a good story. LOL tell me what you guys think send in your reviews.