It's All for you

It was a few days after Edward and I's little getaway and quite frankly… it was odd. There were a lot of things that weekend that left me with more question then answers. For one, I stupidly tried to have sex with him and he…. Wasn't into it. I mean he played it off like he was tired but it was quite obvious that he was not. It was too embarrassing for me to bring up so I did what I do best, I ran away from it.

All my girls at the party

Look at this body shakin that thing like I never did see

Got a nice package alright

Guess I'm gonna have to ride it tonight

Janet Jackson's "its all for you" blasted from my stereo and made my apartment vibrate as Angela danced around the living room in a sports bra and joggers. She had a tub of Ben Jerry's in her hand and was eating it from the container with a spoon. I just shook my head and drowned her out, this was usually how our Saturday mornings went if we weren't at the office. I was sitting at my desk – a cheap one I got from Wal Mart- after I realised, I'd be working from home as long as I worked for Edward.

"Don't you have homework or something!?" I yelled over the loud music.

"Can't hear you!" She shouted back pretending not to hear me as she danced around the living room and ate her ice cream. I rolled my eyes but said nothing. She was getting better, she was laughing more, staying in school, she was doing her homework. She had stopped crying at nights. I was proud of her but I'd never tell her that. I'd just make sure she knew it in different ways. There was a knocking on the door, and I passed by a dancing Angela and went to get it. When I opened it, I saw a woman I'd never seen before. She screamed old money, she had caramel hair, emerald green eyes and a Tiffany necklace I know cost upwards of like ten thousand dollars. She was clutching a Birkin bag to her chest once she heard the noise of Angela's music. She saw me in sweatpants, hair in a bun being held up by a pencil and a white tank top and tilted her head at me questioningly. She didn't hide her distaste.

"Hi!" I said waving confused over the music. Angela who heard the greeting turned off the music and came over to the door to see who it was. The woman, who I still didn't know looked at her up and down. Her eyes narrowing at the ice cream tub.

"Isn't it a tad early for that?" She said to Angela speaking for the first time.

"Esme. Hi." Angela said shoving the tub in my hands and inching behind me like she needed protection.

"You know each other?" I asked.

"Uh yeah she's in charge of cotillion and she goes to the country club with my mom." Angela answered. Esme smiled.

Oh right, Angela had parents… always forgot that part.

"Oh well… what brings you here." I said trying to be pleasant to the woman I know was a bitch based on her demeanor.

"I'm actually here for you Bella." She said, walking into my apartment and looking around trying to hide her distaste. Angela and I looked at each other confused.

"Me?"

"Her?"

We both said at the same time. I had no idea who the hell this woman was, she must be confused.

"Yes," She said with a bright smile. "I came to invite you the anniversary party for Carlisle and I." She said as if I knew who the fuck that was.

"Your husband?" Angela said confused, she looked just as confused as I was as to why this lady who I'd never heard of or met would want anything to do with me.

"Yeah, when Rosalie told me our little Edward had a new girlfriend I had never heard of… I thought he was being modest again. You are the first person he's dated since Tanya so maybe I got a little eager waiting for him to tell me about you himself… so… here I am." She said with a smile that didn't seem genuine at all.

"Oh my God… Cullen" Angela said something just clicking in her head.

"Yeah Edward's last name?" I answered looking at her like she's an idiot.

"No… Cullen. Edward Cullen… Edward is a Cullen I had no idea." Angela said suddenly getting nervous she gulped down. Looking at me nervously, looking at me up and down before she slyly took the ice cream tub she put In my hands… out of it.

"You're Edwards mother?" I said finally getting it. Esme nodded with a smile.

"Yes… That's me my husband and I are looking forward to seeing you at the anniversary party we really hope you can make it with Edward… it's being held at the Volturi Mansion I don't know if you've ever heard of it not many people have but… it's absolutely beautiful. Black tie you don't need an invite as you'll be coming with Edward…. Plus, you're basically family." She said smiling as she pulled me into a rigid hug that I didn't respond to. Angela gave me a look behind Esme's back and when she did I reciprocated the awkward hug by gently patting her back awkwardly.

"Well thanks…Esme." I said quietly. She pulled apart and smiled as she nodded. She looked over at Angela. "And I assume you'll be coming to Cotillion also to support Angela here." She said I nodded. That was an event I was aware of, Angela's parents were making her do Cotillion as it was something they claimed she had to do and was a right of passage. So was graduating high school but they never seemed to check on how that was going for her…. But that was a different topic for a different day.

"Yes, yes of course." I said.

"Well that's great I'm sure Edward told you he's going to be there as well… our family has hosted it with the Waldorf Hotel for years so he and his sister are taking over this year as donors… it's all very exciting." She said.

"I bet." I answered.

"Mhm did you have a cotillion Bella?" Esme asked.

"Uh… no we didn't really have that…. Where I'm from." I said awkwardly.

"And where is that?... Exactly."

"…. Nevada."

"Oh." She answered not looking too pleased with that information. "You grew up there?" She asked. I nodded.

"Mhm…. My mom was a show girl till I was a teenager…. So." I said answering my voice drifting off when her eyes widened at that tidbit of information.

"That's interesting." She answered before she slung her purse over her shoulder. "Well I hope to see you at the party Bella… it would be nice if everyone could get to meet you." Was all she said before she left the house, I closed the door behind her and gave Angela a weird look.

"What the hell was that about." I said grabbing the ice cream back and walking to the kitchen.

"Oh you're in deep… I have no idea how I never put it together from before…. Edward is a Cullen." Angela said.

"Yes Angela you've said it like a million times the past twenty minutes." I said rolling my eyes and taking a scoop of ice cream before I mindlessly looked at the open magazine on the counter.

"No I mean… Edward isn't just regular rich… Is part of one of the most exclusive, prestigious families in the whole damn city…. He never spoke to you about that?" She asked oddly.

"About what, what needed to be said?"

"Oh I don't know hey, I'm apart of one the most powerful families in New York."

"Well I don't think he cares about that he's too busy running a fucking empire to care about… his parents statues." I said roughly flipping through the magazine.

"Well are you gonna go to the party?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because Edward did not invite to this party so I will not be attending." I answered like it was obvious.

"Does it bother you that he never mentioned the party… or anything else that Esme said."

"No." I answered flipping through the magazine. Angela narrowed her eyes at me.

"It would bother me if my boyfriend-

"He's not my boyfriend. Okay he's a guy I like who likes me and we're casually dating… we have yet to define anything on either side so he doesn't owe me anything." I said truthfully. "When Edward is ready to talk to me about his amazing family dynasty and invite me to parties, and whatever else… he will do it on his own time."

"It doesn't bother you that he never once mentioned anything about introducing you to his friends or his family."

"No."

"Have you ever met any of Edward's friends… that wasn't Ness?" She asked. I thought about it for a second.

"No." I answered a little quietly. Thinking about how I knew his friends came to the door on our little getaway but I heard him rushing them off.

"That seems a little shady… why is he hiding you?"

"Look what Edward and I have is new and undefined… and that lady did not invite me over with pure intentions at heart… so I don't trust her… I do trust Edward though so whatever the reason he has for keeping us private is fine… maybe it's to protect whatever this is…. Maybe… it's not regardless I'm not going to push anything to find out." I answered shoving ice cream in my mouth.

"Why?" She answered

"Things always fall into place… when they need too so whatever happens between Edward and I will… when it needs to. If it needs to." I answered simply. She looked at me warily but then didn't push the issue further.

"Fine." Was all she said before she took the ice cream back, raised the music again and went back to her dancing around the living room. My phone buzzed in my back pocket and I saw that it was an incoming call from Edward. I just took the phone and put it on silent before I flipped it over, let it ring, and went back to reading the magazine.

The next week at work was hectic and I was so grateful to dive myself into my work. Edward was out of town for three days so it was just Renesme and I at the office but he got back yesterday. We hadn't had time to really talk as we've both been working but I knew we would soon. It was a little quiet between us lately, and I was sure it was mostly my doing. I just finished a meeting with a future client on Edward's behalf basically doing his job as he had to handle a personal visit today. I finished up in the conference room and grabbed the I pad before I made my way over to my desk. I was a little taken aback though because when I got there Edward was leaning against it talking to girl who I didn't recognize. She was pale with black hair and looked incredibly beautiful with freckles and blue eyes. They both were laughing at something she must've said as Edward had thrown his head back in laughter. I came into view and Edward smiled at me.

"Bella, hey. How was the meeting?" He asked straightening up.

"It was great I sent all the brief notes to your email." I said softly my voice drifting off as I looked at the pretty short girl. Edward nodded his head once.

"Well that's great… Irina this is Bella my new secretary. Bella, Irene and I have been friends since I was like ten she's my girlfriend we went to high school together." He said. I nodded.

My new secretary?

God that fucking bugged me, God I wish I knew why.

"That's so nice." I said with a smile that didn't reach my eyes.

"Yeah I was out of town in London for the longest time… and I came back for the anniversary party and your mom told me that the expansion you've done is nothing like this world she insisted I came by to see it and I have to say what you've done is amazing Edward." She praised him. He smiled at her praise.

"Thanks I uh had help." He said. Just then Renesme rounded the corner on her phone looking serious as always typing away. Irina smiled when she saw her.

"Renesme long time no see." She said pulling her into one of those soft rich people hugs.

"Yeah it's been forever how was fashion week?" Renesme asked.

"It was great! The line is just taking off you know." She said she touched Edward's shoulder. "Gone are the days that we used to just run around this city huh?" She said to Edward. My eyes lingered on her hand on Edward's but then it brought it back up. Edward smiled at her, genuine amusement and happiness in his eyes.

"I know right? We were pretty fucking crazy." He said and they both laughed a little as they looked at each other. My chest felt tight, and I needed to get the fuck away from these two. I quickly looked for an escape and I picked up a binder on my desk.

"Oh shit I gotta photocopy these." I said reaching in between these two to grab the binder. I held it against me and looked at the three of them.

"It was nice to meet you Irina. I should get back to work though." I said. She smiled at me and I excused myself not even bringing my eyes to Edward. When I was out of sight Irina spoke.

"Are all your workers that colourful? She can't be good for business." She joked. I just heard Edward chuckle.

"Bella's different, she gets her job done don't worry." He responded and after his response I continued to walk to the photocopy room. I closed the door behind me in the little room and rested my back to the door. I took a shaky deep breath and shockingly reached up to my face to see that a few tears had fallen. I looked at the wet substance on my manicured fingers confused as I sniffled… trying to remember the last time I had ever actually. Cried.

At the sight of it, even if it was one miniscule little tear that managed to escape my body caused me to stand up, wipe my face for any trace of it and then leave the photocopy room, and the entire building quickly, before anyone could even see me do it. Like always.

Later that night I sat in my bathtub in a scalding hot bubble bath, staring at the ceiling. Trying to understand my feelings, trying to figure out exactly how I felt and how quickly I could not feel it. But nothing was really working out for me. I let out a breath as my phone rang and I picked it up. It was a text from Angela and it was photos of Edward and Irena out at some restaurant on a patio.

DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP ASAP! WHO IS THAT GIRL!?

Said the text.

"Oh God." I said quietly. The fact that Angela took it upon herself to follow Edward was ridiculous in itself. She was crazy that one. I quickly shot her a text telling her to stop it, and then I actually took the time to look at the photos she took. Edward looked…. Happy with her. I don't even think I had ever seen him laugh that much ever. In all these photos it was like the darkness that always seemed to follow him was lifted. It was then that I realized what I felt.

It was jealousy.

I was jealous and sad… I was falling in love with Edward Cullen. If I didn't love him already, and I knew that it would never work because we were from two completely different worlds, and because I didn't want to be a part of his. I had seen his world, the people in it, the way people are in these circles and just a glimpse of Esme Cullen made me realize she'd do whatever it took to make sure he realized that. And once I realized that fact, I did what I did best. I got out of the tub went to my room and started to pack a suitcase. I reached into my bedside drawer and picked out my passport, after getting ready in a sweatshirt and jeans. I called an uber and made my way to the airport in the dead of the night.

"At the tone please record your message, when you have finished your recording you may hang up or press POUND for more options"

*BEEP*

"Hey Alice, it's me Bella look I'm at the airport and I'm leaving town for a while and I'm not entirely sure when I'll be back. Just take care of Angela while I'm gone okay? Make sure she goes to school and does her homework. I'll call you when I can and don't worry, I'll be cool okay? Kiss the munchkin for me. Love you, bye."

If I still had my car I would've driven as it was only a four-hour drive from New York, the drive would've been good to clear my head but unfortunately I didn't have my car anymore. When I landed at New Hampshire's Lebanon airport I was happy because it was dead. Probably because my flight was so last minute. I took the last flight out from New York that night. I was lucky to have even made it. I got in my uber and the ride was a quiet 45 minute one. When he dropped me off in front of the modern looking mini mansion. I just stood in front of it, listening to the crickets go off in the night. I carried myself to the front door, It was so quiet in the night that I heard each footstep I took over the fancy pebbles. When I was in front of the door I hesitated before I finally built up the courage to knock. It was quiet for a few seconds and then the door swung open to reveal her.

"Isabella?"

"Hey." I said timidly.

"Oh my God… what are you doing here?... here come inside." She said softly ushering me into the cozy house.

"Sorry for the last-minute shit." I said dropping my duffel on the floor. Rebecca just laughed softly. She was in a grey Dartmouth sweater, black sweats her pitch-black hair was up in a bun held by a pencil and she had on louis Vuitton house slippers. She also had her reading glasses on. We went to high school together, Rebecca and I. We were pretty good friends back home, we lost touch for a little bit when she came to Dartmouth on a full ride (Not that she needed it). And I went to Stanford and then dropped out. We walked into her living room, that was the coziest thing ever and screamed Rebecca. She had two big black couches a nice rug, her fireplace was burning and she had a set up in front of it with wine and a book- typical her. I took my bag and placed it neatly by the side of the couch.

"Here, I'll go get you a glass of wine and then you can tell me why the hell you look so sad." She said with a little smile before she walked off into her kitchen and I walked over to the fireplace. I took the photo off the mantle and looked at it. A photo of her, me and another friend back home in front of our old high school. I looked at me smiling in the middle not even recognizing the girl staring back at me.

"Senior year." Said Rebecca coming from behind me. I put the photo back where I saw it and followed her and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace.

"That was a crazy year." I said she nodded in agreement as she poured me some wine from the bottle she had beside her. She handed me my glass and I sipped it. Her hazel eyes looked at me inquisitively.

"Okay." She said softly. "Now tell me what's going on huh? You don't visit unless-

"I know." I said quietly cutting her off. "And I'm sorry." I said apologizing.

"It's okay." She said softly, truthfully. I knew that it was.

"Everyone does what they need to do to keep moving…. Yours is run." She said softly as she sipped her wine. The six or seven Cartier bracelets she had on her wrist clanked as she did.

"I have no idea what the fuck I'm even doing." I admitted out loud for the first time. She didn't say anything, she just waited for me to continue.

"I met someone in New York." I started off with.

"Okay."

"And…. I don't even know…. I don't even- Rebecca I shed a tear the other day and I panicked because it was the second time, I had done it since meeting him and… It's so foreign to me." I explained.

"You're feeling." She said. Stating fact. It was quiet again as she tilted her head at me and then squinted her eyes softly. "You love him." She concluded. I just nodded so timidly I didn't even know if she could really make out that it was in fact a nod.

"And it can never work."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm this" I said gesturing to myself. She just scoffed and took a sip of wine.

"Oh please who the hell is he?…. Who the hell is too good for you?" She asked.

"I haven't been me in years I don't fit into that world at all, and I think he's in love with someone else and I really don't think he's over her."

"Do you genuinely think that or are you too scared to ask because you're scared of …. Loving again?" She asked me. I just shrugged. "You aren't seriously thinking of leaving with all these unanswered questions!?" She asked me incredulously.

"Listen…. You are not seventeen anymore… I love you I do but you owe it to yourself to let someone in… and to let yourself be happy and to feel." She said. I bit my lip as her words got to me and I did it to keep the tears from falling. "You don't hurt anyone but yourself when you don't let love in." She said looking at me with tears in her own eyes now. This talk probably too much for her given what she'd gone through herself.

"I'm scared." I whispered finally. She just smiled and nodded. She took my hand in hers.

"I know and you have a right it sounds complicated but… it Is better to know then to run… Go back. You owe it to yourself…. To go back." She whispered. And I just nodded before she engulfed me in a hug.

"Okay." I whispered.

"After the weekend." She said.

"After the weekend." I agreed.

Getting little glimpses into Bella's life, tell me what ya guys think!