IT'S ALL ABOUT POSING

Bruce Wayne waved his little plastic cup around, deftly not quite drinking it, as he leaned on the keg. The other Alpha Phi Epsilons, known around Gotham U. as the "Alkie Eppies" were dancing about and grinding with an assortment of coeds, high school adventuresses, and at least two different sororities who didn't go to their own "Big Brother" frat parties, because the Eppies were so much more bitchin'.

Bruce had just shown up at one a.m. to this thing; it was a convenient soiree to show his face to after having spent forty-five minutes taking down a crack den, and disrupting the rumble (did they still use that word? Bruce got it from a "Happy Days" re-run on Nick at Nite) between the Seventh Street Moors and the "Huey Freemen."

Damn, he was still sweating from the big, hot mask-such geeky ears!-and his leg was swelling up from an errant slam from a lead pipe. Bruce spent most nights back at Wayne Manor, when he wasn't touring Gotham, stopping gay-bashing, interrupting liquor store robberies and the like.

When his frat brothers commented on his absences, as he had a room there (a rare single) in the fraternity house, Bruce just winked, and waved a six pack of Trojans around. So he was, indeed, a legend.

Bruce was concerned that, while he was dispatching the feud between Moors and Hueys, that Abie's Diamond Mine seemed to have been hit by a gang of thieves wearing conical red masks.

By the time Batman had arrived on the scene, Abraham Weiss was bewildered and wondering how the "Red Hood" gang had known to hit around seven-thirty in the evening when both the new shipment of diamonds had come in.

Also, Abie was about to take the receipts to the bank...AND payroll (which Abie gave his employees in cash if they preferred) was about to go on before the day ended at 8 p.m.

Oh, there's Jackie...late to the party also! Bruce assumed his pal had been doing MDMA "ecstasy" again...that grin of his was manic.

IT'S ALL GOOD WITH THE RED HOODS

Jackie hated wearing that big, hot red mask-his hair was perspiring and he was amazed he could breathe. Ozzie C, his former Dungeon Master at the D&D conventions they'd both attended in Bludhaven had driven the van.

"This will make up for all the times you and your mom let me stay on your couch after my foster home burned down" Jackie had told Ozzie.

Ozzie seemed quite happy with the take, especially since he didn't have to go in with Jackie and the two lamebrains he'd brought along to do the robbery.

Jackie had shot both of the other triggermen in the head just afterwards in Ozzie C's cellar-God that was a weird place- and he'd thrown them off the Colonel Jehosophat Wayne Memorial Bridge before coming back to campus.

The great thing about the Red Hood thing was, he could keep changing henchmen, and that way he and Ozzie split the money, no one was going to be picked up to rat on them.

And, of course, since the Red Hoods were becoming quite popular, Jackie was able to find more hoodlum heathens all the time...

There would be a small payment due to the geeky little assistant manager that Ozzie was schtupping from the Renn Faire. who was a Princess part-time and a gemologist full-time...but she HATED Abie...

But, as Jackie wandered into the keg party, accepting a little cup from Leonidas "Pudge" Smudge, he thought the count had been a little light.

He would accuse Ozzie of stealing from him, but they were together the entire time, even when using their silencers to knock off the other two. But at least one sack of diamonds was missing...

SELINA BRINGS HOME THE BACON

"This is really incredible" Holly said, looking through the bags. "And you took off a gang that was ROBBING the place?" She paused. " These are big time carat diamonds."

"They got greedy." Selina explained, as she lit a Marlboro Light (she allowed herself one a day) and propped her heels on the dining room table. "The idiots actually ran out and put bags in their van, locked it and then ran in for more...it was ingenious in that it was so early in the evening that cops weren't patrolling but..."

"They're idiots..." Holly said. "You said you'd pay for a math tutor, and you should really be able to...and I'm lovin' private school."

"Ah yes, Holly...from each according to his need or whatever." Selina responded happily.