The Birds Who Smile, a Batman fanfic by Raberba girl
Chapter 3.2 (rough draft 2)
Jason's attempt to pull his young double off of Dick resulted in the boy turning on him. Peter snarled and attacked viciously, then blinked in confusion when he found himself dazed on the ground.
"Wanna try that again? Come at me," Jason challenged, taking up a martial arts stance.
Peter shook his head to clear it and leaped at Jason again, only to receive another precise strike. "crow!" This time he circled craftily before attacking, but Jason was still ready for him with a block and a kick.
Peter growled in frustration, but now he was watching his opponent closely instead of blindly attacking.
Dick, meanwhile, fetched a bag of dried fruit and tucked it in his pocket, then warmed up a jar of muscle relaxant. Though all three boys had been treated with it hours before, their faces were starting to stiffen again. "All right, here we go."
Jack backed up a couple of steps and yelped in protest when Dick touched his face, but then he went still as the warm gel was rubbed into his cheeks.
"You like that, Jackie?"
"Hhnnnnnnn."
Jack touched his own cheeks, dabbling his fingertips in the gel between Dick's fingers and then inspecting the substance closely.
"Ack, Jackie, don't eat it! Let's get that out of your mouth, kiddo; yucky."
The gel had to sit for a few minutes to work effectively, but Jack wouldn't stop touching his face, so Dick distracted him with a hand game. "Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man..."
Jack giggled, and caught on to the motions after a few repetitions. When enough time had passed, Dick coaxed the boy into the bathroom and wiped his face clean. "Okay, now it's time to brush our teeth." He demonstrated the task for Jack, who looked fascinated, then helped the boy do it himself.
"Mmmm, feels so fresh and clean, right? Let's get your brother."
They found Jason running through a basic kata with Peter, whose movements as he imitated his older counterpart were clumsy but focused.
"Teaching the killer babies even more ways to hurt people. Nice."
"It's discipline," Jason insisted. "Martial arts instead of mindless destruction-"
"I know, I know, Jay! I was teasing you. I think it's a good idea, actually." Dick set down the bowl he was carrying, scooped up some gel, and wiggled his glistening fingers at Peter. "Petey~! Your turn!"
"crow crow crow!" the boy started to shriek, but then froze, his arms suspended in midair, at the pleasant sensation of muscle relaxant being massaged into his face. He had been unconscious the last time it had been applied.
"[caw]," Jack said, "gggg'ddd."
"Feels gooood, doesn't it," Dick cooed.
"Hhnnn!" Peter looked like a cat unwillingly succumbing to chin scratches. He closed his eyes and leaned slowly away, humming deep in his throat, tense but not fighting.
"I'm heading out again," Jason said. He chucked Peter lightly on the shoulder. "Be good, kid. Not too good."
Dick, as he had with John hours before, kept his hands in place longer than necessary, gently massaging, until the gel had done its work. Then he cleaned it off and announced, "Time to brush teeth, kiddo."
He needed help for that, since Peter started putting up a fight when he found himself being led to the bathroom. Alfred, having had less than three hours of sleep, had gone back to bed after washing the dishes, so Dick called to Duke and Damian.
"We're busy," Damian protested, looking up from the printouts he'd spread all over the temporary kitchen table.
Duke elbowed him. "Come on, man. Your brother needs help." The reproach in his tone was enough to shame even Damian Wayne, who followed the older boy without further argument.
"Look, Petey," Dick said. "Your big brothers are gonna brush their teeth, too." He grinned at Damian. "You need to, anyway."
"Hmph. I was going to."
Peter watched suspiciously from the entryway.
"Aaaand they're done! Now it's your turn, Peter."
"crow!"
Jack spoke to him in a series of birdlike sounds. Peter, still tense, moved step by reluctant step as Dick held his hands and guided him over to a sink.
"[caw], all clear, safe," Jack repeated in the Robins' language.
"If you brush your teeth," Dick said, "you can have a treat." He held up a bit of dried peach, but pulled it out of the way when Peter swiped at it. "Brush teeth first."
That did it. Peter scrubbed his teeth with a vengeance, then violently grabbed the fruit out of Dick's hand and stuffed it in his mouth, apparently unbothered by the combined taste of dried peach and toothpaste.
"Dang it," Dick said ruefully as he looked at the new scratch on his hand. Damian rolled his eyes and pulled some ointment and bandages out of a drawer.
After Dick's brothers had returned to their project, he led the two Robins over to an open area beside a table, where he set down his phone. "Who's up for some exercise?"
"Kksss," Jack said experimentally.
"Ex. Er. Cise."
"Ee'kk, urrr-"
"KKSSERSSSSAI!"
"-ssszz."
Dick laughed and gave them both bite-sized pieces of fruit from the bag in his pocket. "All right, copy me!" He hit the start button on his 'Bouncy Jamz' playlist and started to make graceful, repetitive movements.
Peter, as usual when food was involved, participated aggressively. Jack just stood there, staring, through half of "Call Me Maybe" before dubiously starting to mimic Dick as best he could.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]," Dick declared to his new little brothers, "[*censored because FFN is stupid*]"
"Richaaaaaard!" Damian wailed from the other side of the cave. "If I have to listen to one more bar of that infernal noise pollution-!" Dick started boogieing in his direction. Duke, seeing where this was going, threw up his hands and backed away. "No, what are you doing?! Get away from me!" Damian struggled in his oldest brother's arms. "Richard!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha," Peter chortled at the sight of someone else being forced to do something against their will for a change, and Jack clapped his hands.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]...!"
"UNHAND ME AT ONCE."
Tim, in the middle of a phone call with a company executive, gritted his teeth and switched to a headset that would block out background noise.
At some point during the commotion, the playlist moved on to the next song. Dick, still laughing, returned to the Robins to find Jack eagerly vocalizing. "Mmuh muh muh muh."
"Heh. You like this song better than 'Call Me Maybe'?"
"Ohhwohwoh."
"Nnah nah nah," Peter added, apparently intrigued by the sound of the harsh, rhythmic syllables.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]," Dick sang, starting to dance again.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]," the song continued. "[*censored because FFN is stupid*]-"
"PPUH PUH PUH PUH," Jack suddenly bellowed, relishing the sound and feel of his lips smacking together.
"Wow, you guys really like this song."
By the time it ended, both boys were singing along in their own way, hopping in excitement as they copied or made up repetitive syllables. Dick paused the playlist before it could move ahead. "Do you guys want to hear it again?"
"CROW!"
"This song is called 'Poker Face.' Do you want to listen to 'Poker Face'?"
"PPO PO PO!"
"All~righty, then, here we go!"
o.o.o.o.o
The two men talked for a while longer. John cooed in pleasure, and batted demandingly at Bruce's hand whenever it paused in its ministrations.
When the doorbell rang, Jim got to his feet and said, "Well, I need to get back to work, anyway. I'll let you get back to yours."
Bruce walked him to the front in order to both let him out of the house and see who was on the front steps (with the security system only partially functioning, there wasn't a way to enforce most of the estate's boundaries). He kept a firm hand on John's shoulder, ready to hold the boy back if he decided to lunge.
Jim Gordon had seen many strange things in his life, but he was still startled to find himself face to face with two clearly not-fully-human young women. The dark one was draped in a feathery black cloak and hood, her red eyes glowing slightly in an unsettling way. The orange-skinned one had solid green, also glowing eyes, and a curtain of red hair that literally snapped and crackled like flames.
"Eeeeeeeeeeee!" John cried in delight, making grabby hands at Starfire.
"Hello, little one!" she exclaimed in surprise. Before Bruce quite knew how it had happened, John was in Koriand'r's arms, nuzzling her face and playing with her hair as she traced a curious finger over his mask and teeth.
"John," Bruce said in exasperation, "ask first."
"I feel like I know him," Kori remarked, looking both confused and fascinated.
"It's a long story. Come in, both of you." Bruce nodded at Jim, who returned the gesture and headed down the long driveway toward the gates.
"We've come looking for Robin," Raven explained.
"Yes, I assumed as much." Bruce led the ladies downstairs, where he was glad to find that Alfred had used earplugs before going back to bed, since Dick, Peter, and Jack were apparently having a dance party on the other side of the cave.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]," Dick was singing.
"PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO," Peter and Jack accompanied in gleeful unison.
"[*censored because FFN is stupid*]!"
"PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO PO!"
"Ggo go go!" John exclaimed in the closest approximation he could manage, and ran to join his brothers.
Dick, still singing, held out his hands invitingly to his young double. The boy grabbed them and shrieked happily as he and Dick danced together. Bruce watched his family for a while, experiencing a rare moment of contentment.
"Whoa!" Dick noticed the alien princess flying toward him just in time, and brought up his arms to catch her. "Kori!"
"My dear friend!" she cried, hugging him tightly. "Gotham has been destroyed. We were so worried, Dick!"
"I was worried about you - you had a Joker smile the last time I saw you."
"It is not I who has the 'Joker smile' now," she said, and cupped her hands gently around John's face.
"Oh, speaking of which-" Dick went to fetch the muscle relaxant.
The minute John saw it, he dashed over, pushed Dick to sit on the floor, flopped down on his back, and looked up at Dick expectantly. "Heeeee!"
"You are ready, huh."
In the meantime, Tim was hugged by a nearly crying Raven. "Oh, Timothy! We heard you were alive, but seeing you again with my own eyes..."
"It's good to see you, Raven," he said, returning the embrace. "How is everyone? I heard the team's back together." He glanced at Damian over her shoulder. "'Cause my little brother stole it."
"I didn't steal your team, Drake," Damian huffed. "You weren't using it anymore. I revived it."
"Yeah, by kidnapping all your founding members. That's the kind of thing super-villains or amoral government agents do, Damian!"
"It was for their own protection!"
"Didn't you capture Jon, too, when you first met him? Is kidnapping people your idea of making friends or something?"
Raven, ignoring the squabbling, stepped back and politely held out her hand to Duke. "Hello. My name is Raven."
"Duke Thomas. You're...one of those Teen Titans?"
"Yes. Starfire and I came to check on Robin."
"I called you and said I'd be taking an indefinite leave of absence," Damian pointed out.
"Yes, but after all that's happened, we are still worried about our friends, Damian," Raven explained patiently.
"I can tell," he said in a sour tone. "That's why you two went straight for Richard and Drake instead of me, right?" He looked over at Dick and Kori, but was taken aback by the way they were both gazing at him. Their expressions were almost parental, as if one of the things that bonded them was the shared love they had for a particular child. "A-Anyway," he said, "we're all fine here, as you can see."
"Do you need any help?" Raven asked Tim. "Most of the team's working to rebuild their home cities like you and Damian are. Since Starfire and I don't really have home cities, we've been visiting the others, doing what we can for a few days before moving on."
"Gotham can use all the help it can get right now. Maybe you can go out with Damian and see what's most needed in town."
Meanwhile, Dick was crooning at John in between chatting with Kori. Bruce checked in with Duke and then Tim, then sat down heavily in a chair by the computers. He was so tired. Though Jack was still occupied by Dick's playlist, trying to mimic the sounds, Peter lost interest without Dick's energy and treats to motivate him. He made his way over to Bruce, stopped a cautious distance away, and said, "Ffoo'ppeez."
"You ate less than an hour ago." Still, it was important to reward the boys' efforts at appropriate communication, so Bruce levered himself back out of the chair and went looking for a snack to give to Peter.
"Ffoo'peez!"
"Yes, yes, Peter, I'm getting it."
TBC
A/N: Ftr, I don't condone the messages of songs that are about sex and stuff. I used them in this chapter because it happened to come on the radio at work while I was thinking about this fic, and the repetitive syllables were too perfect to resist.