Chapter 3

When he reached the street, Duke paused. Where would he find Bunny? At her apartment? Hold on, Carter had mentioned something about a captain. Stopping the nearest couple of passersby, he asked,

"Have you seen a marine captain and a tall blonde lady anywhere?" They shook their heads. He jogged down the street a couple of blocks and asked the same an elderly man sitting on a bench. The old man grinned, nodded, and pointed down the street where a couple outside Purchelli's restaurant was climbing into a red sports car. The woman was undoubtedly Bunny.

"Bunny!" he cried, waving his arms like a lunatic, "Bunny, wait!" Bunny and her escort paused as he rushed up to them.

"Duke?" remarked Bunny, "What are you doing here?"

"You know this private?" growled the captain.

"Well, yeah. He's one of Carter's men. What's the matter, Duke?" Struggling to catch his breath from the sudden sprint, Duke wheezed,

"It's Sergeant Carter. You've gotta come quick before he gets himself kicked out of the marines."

"Kicked out of the marines? For what?"

"For being drunk! Drunk on duty. Please, Bunny, you've gotta come quiet him down or sober him up. At least don't let him go back to the base like this." Bunny opened her mouth to reply, but the captain smirked.

"So this is your kind, sweet Vince. One man gets the better of him and he makes a fool of himself." Bunny returned his smirk.

"Yeah. It's a good thing I found this out now before we got too involved." The captain wrapped his arm around her shoulder and said,

"Believe me, a man that can't take a blow with his head up isn't worth the time."

"But you've gotta at least see him," Duke begged.

"Sorry, Duke," Bunny replied, "but Vince has embarrassed me enough already. I'm not making a fool out of myself again." With that, she whirled around and stepped into the waiting car. The captain shut the door behind her and nodded at Duke, who threw a prompt salute before shuffling back to the Bluebird.

Meanwhile, Gomer struggled to keep a drunk Carter under wraps.

"Waitress!" barked Carter, waving his hand and nearly smacking Gomer in the face, "another beer on th' double."

"No, no, no," insisted Gomer. Nodding as politely as he could to the waitress, he said, "No more beer here, ma'am. Thank you."

"E-ey," growled Carter, "what d'you think you're doin'? Ah'm still a sergeant ya know. An you can't tell me when ta stop drinkin'."

"Sergeant, believe me, you've had enough." Carter pounded his fist on the table and yelled,

"NO! WAITRESS!"

Gomer winced.

"Sergeant, please be quiet. I'll go get you somethin' if you'll just be quiet." Shawn Dickerson settled back in the booth.

"Thanks, Gomer. You're a pal." Gomer slid out of the booth and hurried over to the waitress.

"S'cuse me, ma'am. I don't mean to bother you, but if you could glass of milk for my sergeant, I'd sure appreciate it. You see, he just lost his girl which upset him somethin' terrible. And when she left him, he started drinkin' and now he's got 'imself in a mess." He would have kept going, but the waitress cut him off with a nod of agreement and headed towards the kitchen. Gomer turned back towards the booth, and his jaw dropped. The booth was empty.

"Sergeant?" he said, spinning in a circle, "Sergeant Carter?" The sergeant was nowhere in sight. Gomer hurried out onto the street just in time to see Carter climb into a taxicab. He waved his arms and bolted towards the cab.

"Sergeant, wait!" The cab roared off and disappeared around the corner. Gomer stared after it in shock. As he did, Duke appeared at his side.

"No luck. Bunny wouldn't come. She's glued to that captain. Where's the Sarge, inside?" Gomer shook his head.

"No, he ain't inside."

"Then where is he? Gomer, you were watching him, where did he go?" Gomer pointed down the street.

"He just drove off in that there taxicab."

"Oh no. Gomer, you've lost him!"

Back at the base, Corporal Boyle sat on his bunk listening to the radio before turning in for the night. He was just about to switch the radio off when the door to the duty hut swung open and Sergeant Carter tottered in, singing at the top of his lungs.

"This is ze army, Missr Jones!" Leaning against the door frame, he said, "Hi, Chuck. How's it goin'?" Boyle could only stare in shock. He'd never even dreamed he would find Carter like this.

"Sarge, what happened? I thought you were out with Bunny."

"You know, Chuck, lemme tell you somethin'. I was havn' a great time when all'f a sudden- poof!"

"Poof? You mean she left you?"

"'Tupid captain," Carter snarled. He reeled forwards and nearly faceplanted, but Boyle grabbed his arm and practically dragged him to his bunk.

"Sarge, how could you do this to yourself? You have guard duty in almost two hours!" Carter sagged on the edge of the bunk and shook his finger in the air.

"Oh, don' worry, Boyle. I'll be there. Sergeant Carter ne'er shirks his duty, 'at's for sure."

"You're not going like this. You'll be kicked out of the Corps." Patting Carter on the back, he said, "Come on, Sarge. Let's get you sobered up." As soon as Boyle headed to the lockers to find something that would snap his sergeant out of the daze, Carter slouched over on the bunk and wiped out. When Boyle returned, he found Carter curled up on the bunk in a drunken sleep. He shook his sergeant violently by the shoulder, but with no result.

"Sarge, you've gotta wake up. Come on, Sarge, this is serious." Nothing worked. Carter remained in as deep a sleep as ever.