Clary took a sip of the steaming coffee in her hands, flinching slightly as the liquid burned her tongue. It had been a little over a week since she had seen Jonathan, and she had barely been able to sleep. Her nights were spent tossing and turning as she turned over every possible bad outcome in her mind. There was no way she could win with the situation she was in. If she stayed involved in the investigation, Jonathan would hurt her mother. If she removed herself, Jonathan would hurt more innocent people. If she told Jace and Alec about her relation to Jonathan, they would hate her. If she didn't, they would find out eventually. And they would hate her. She felt trapped. No matter what she did, it would end poorly for either others or herself.
The sound of approaching footsteps pulled her out of her thoughts, and she glanced up to see Alec appear in the doorway to the break room.
"There you are," he said "We have another murder, but our usual crime scene sketch artist is out with the stomach flu and we don't really have time to find another. Would you mind doing it?"
"I-I don't know, Alec," she responded. "I've never done a crime scene sketch before." She knew it wouldn't be a problem, but she had been trying to gradually remove herself from the investigation She didn't know if she was going to quit it altogether, and was trying to distance herself from the case while she thought about it.
"It's really easy, Clary. Just rough sketch it and then draw the final sketch to scale. Please? We could really use your help."
"Yeah, I guess I'll do it," she sighed. Alec never asked her for anything, and she knew she would have a hard time saying no.
She took another gulp of her coffee before setting it down and following Alec. He led her through the precinct and out the back to where Jace was waiting next to a squad car.
"What is Clary doing with you?" Jace asked.
Alec shrugged as he walked around to the passenger door. "She agreed to sketch the scene." He turned his attention to her. "You okay sitting in the back?"
She rolled her eyes, but nodded. She really did not want to sit in the back behind the cage like a criminal, but knew she didn't really have a choice. There was no way in hell Jace or Alec would switch with her.
"Are you serious?" Jace questioned, throwing his hands up in the air. "She's never seen a dead body in person before and you're going to bring her with us to a murder site?"
"It's not like she didn't agree to it. I'm not forcing her to do anything she doesn't want."
"How about we don't talk like I'm not standing right here," Clary interjected, crossing her arms across her chest.
Jace looked at her. "When's the last time you actually got a goodnight's sleep, Fray?"
Clary looked down at the ground and shrugged. "A week ago?"
He looked back at Alec and gestured to her. "See? She's underslept and not thinking clearly. We can do the sketch ourselves it's not that hard."
Alec scoffed. "Please. I've seen your sketches before. This case is too important to not have clear sketches, Jace. Clary, you're fine with doing this and knowing you'll see a dead body, right?"
"Yeah, I'm good with it. Promise." She was sure she'd be okay. Maybe she'd never seen a body in person, but she'd seen plenty of photographs from the cases she'd helped work on. It really couldn't be all that different.
Jace huffed. "Fine. Whatever. Let's go. But don't say I didn't think this was a bad idea."
They pulled up to a blue two-story house in suburban neighborhood just on the outskirts of the city. More squad cars were already parked along the sidewalk with uniformed officers milling about. There was also a medical examiners van parked in the driveway. However, Clary's attention was drawn to a older looking couple holding each other as they talked to one of the officers. Their eyes were rimmed red and tear marks streaked their cheeks. The man seemed to keeping the woman from collapsing to the ground.
"Try not to let that get to you," Jace said, following her line of vision. "It's best if you just avoid looking."
She nodded at his advice, but couldn't seem to tear her eyes away from them. They had to be related to the victim, and she couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of grief they were feeling.
Alec and Jace unbuckled their seatbelts and stepped out of the car. Clary stared at the couple for a few more seconds before following behind them. She trailed behind as they flashed their badges to their officer standing in front of the crime scene tape. He nodded and let the three of them through.
Clary clutched her sketchpad to her chest as they entered the house. She could hear more people walking around and talking as Jace and Alec led her upstairs and to a bedroom.
They entered a room with soft pink and white striped walls that were decorated with posters of boybands. There was a twin sized bed in the middle of the room covered with stuffed animals. Clary barely registered any of this as her eyes fell on the body on the floor at the foot of the bed.
The girl looked like she couldn't have been older than twelve. Her shiny blonde hair was matted to her forehead with blood, and her glassy blue eyes seemed to stare directly at Clary.
Clary's hand flew up to her mouth as bile started to rise in her throat. Jonathan had done this. Jonathan had taken the life of this young girl. He really knew no mercy, and he wasn't going to stop until he had everything he wanted.
"Jesus Christ! Nobody told me it was a fucking kid!" she heard Jace yell, but it sounded like he was far away instead of right next to her. "Someone get her out of here."
Clary stood frozen, her eyes glued to those of the dead girl, until someone physically pulled her from the room. The next thing she knew, she was being led outside. Even as the sunlight shown in her face, all she could see was glassy blue eyes staring at her.
A pair of hands opened the passenger door to a cruiser and gently pushed her down into the seat. She could hear Alec's muffled voice telling one of the officers to drive her to his and Jace's apartment and too keep watch outside the door until they got back.
The officer got into the driver's seat, and Clary stared blankly out the windshield as they headed toward the apartment.
Clary was sitting on the couch, eyes fixed on the television, when Jace and Alec made it home two hours later, Alec carrying a box of pizza in his hands. The news channels had started covering the murder about an hour before, and she hadn't been able to turn it off.
As Alec walked into the kitchen, Jace walked straight over to her, grabbed the remote, and hit the power button. "Why are you watching this?" he asked.
She shrugged, staring at the black screen. "Wanted to know what was going on."
"A twelve year old girl is dead, and it's all that bastard Morgenstern's fault. What else do you need to know?"
"Why did he do it?" she asked. She had been thinking about it, and she couldn't come up with an answer. What the hell did Jonathan want with a little girl?
"Aline apparently used to babysit the girl, Maureen. The Browns were close family friends of the Penhallows. We think Jonathan was sending a message."
Clary nodded, still looking at the screen. Jonathan had done it just to prove a point, to send a message. He didn't have any limits. He had no soul. And this murder just let Clary know that she couldn't walk away from the case. She couldn't let Jonathan keep wreaking havoc. She just had to hope he was either bluffing about her mother, or that they would catch him before he could do anything.
Jace walked into her line of vision and knelt down in front of her. "Hey," he said gently, causing her to make eye contact. "I'm really sorry you had to see that today. If I had known it was a goddamn child, I would have never let you come along."
She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. "It's fine. Just a reality check I guess."
"We brought home some pizza if you want some," he offered.
Clary shook her head. "I'm not really hungry."
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm worried about you, Clare. You haven't been sleeping, you barely eat. What's going on?"
"I- I think the case is just really starting to get to me," she said. It wasn't exactly a lie. It was starting to get to her. She didn't understand how Jonathan could be committing such horrible crimes over and over again. That's just not the reason Jace would think of.
"Do you want to take a break from it? I'm sure Luke would be fine with that, especially if it's affecting you like this. I don't think he likes seeing you like this either, Fray."
"No. I'm fine. I promise. I just want to get him off the streets as soon as possible."
The corners of Jace's mouth turned up. "You're so strong, you know that?"
Clary forced herself to thank him, even though her stomach was now in her throat. He didn't know just how wrong he was.
Whoa. Hey. College is crazy. I'm really sorry for the long wait, and I might as well apologize for any future long waits that are most likely going to come. I promise to try harder, but I'm just trying to get back into the swing of fiction writing again.