Whale glanced over at the counter as he entered the diner, smiling at Ruby. She was resting her cheek in one of her hands, glaring at the counter as she tapped her pen.

"Hey, Ruby," he said. She glanced up, rolling her eyes when she saw it was him.

"Back for lunch?"

Whale checked at her hostility. Eeesshh. But he shrugged, chuckling slightly. "Well… it is lunchtime."

She was not amused.

Whale's smile faltered. "I was just…uh…yeah, okay. Can I get a coffee?" He slid onto a stool as Ruby let out a heavy groan and trudged over to the coffee pot. "So…" he said, clearing his throat as she started to pour him a cup. "I've been meaning to ask you—"

The bell tinkled, and a horribly familiar voice filled the room. "Ruby, darling, I'm going to need two of those orange-colored bread things!"

Ruby looked up. "Oh, my God…" She dropped her jaw, ignoring Whale's yelp of pain as she overflowed the cup and poured scalding coffee on his hand.

"Gah!" Whale stared in horror at his blistering skin as Hook pulled out a stool.

"Ooh," he said cheerfully, looking on with interest. "That's a nasty one. You'll want to get that looked at, mate."

Whale struggled not to roll his eyes. "Thank you," he said, turning to look over at him. "I'm sure I'd be lost without—" Oh.

So that was why Ruby had just treated him to a round of coffee and second-degree burns: Hook had finally gone out and bought himself some normal-looking clothes. Somehow, Whale knew that this new development was going to be the topic of interest among his nurses, come Monday morning. Great, he thought miserably.

"Can I also have one of those…" Hook frowned, snapping his fingers. "I think it's a beef…bread…thing?"

"You mean a hamburger?" Whale said dryly. Hook looked at him in surprise, then threw his head back and laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Yes, of course ! A hamburger!" he said, as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world that he should forget what a hamburger was. "Can I have a hamburger?"

Ruby beamed at him. "Honey, you can have whatever you want."

"Honey, you can have whatever you want," Whale mimicked under his breath. Hook watched her go, grinning in delight.

"Ooh-hoo-hoo, she likes me," he chuckled, elbowing Whale. "Don't you think?"

Whale smiled through clenched teeth, forcing a laugh. "Oh, I'll bet." Asshole.

Ruby returned, carrying two bags. "Here are your—" she smiled conspiratorially—"orange-bread-things…"

"Thanks, love, " Hook grinned, quirking an eyebrow. Whale rolled his eyes with his whole head.

"And your hamburger is still on the grill, so…" Ruby raised her eyebrows a few times. "You're just going to have to wait a few minutes."

"Oh. Well…" Hook leaned forward, arching an eyebrow. "At least I'll have some company."

Ruby raised her eyebrows again, giggling. Whale rubbed his temple, staring at them dryly

"You two training for the eyebrow Olympics?" he said finally, dropping his hand. "Or are you having a localized seizure?"

Hook laughed, sitting back in his seat, and clapped Whale on the shoulder again. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Wouldn't be the first time," he muttered.

Hook suddenly slapped the counter. "Nearly forgot," he said, taking something from one of his inside pockets. "Here's the money from my I.O.U—" he dropped a drawstring of what sounded like heavy metal coins, and grinned apologetically. "I'm afraid I don't know the exchange rate between my doubloons and your green paper."

Whale sourly watched Ruby prance away, drawstring in hand. Somehow, I doubt that's the first time she's taken money for acting slutty. He snorted as his own joke. Snap! Whale, you've outdone yourself!

"Here you go," Ruby said, returning with the drawstring. Hook stowed it away in his pocket, glancing up when the cook called, "Order up!" Ruby didn't budge; she just kept smiling and twirling her hair…

Hood nodded toward the counter. "I think that's mine, love."

Ruby walked half-backwards, never taking her eyes off the pirate, to the counter. She took the plate—and promptly tossed the burger on the floor. "Oops," she smiled. "I guess we'll have to make you a new one."

Whale raised his eyebrows as Hook let out a bemused chuckle. "Smooth, Ruby…"

Ruby apparently didn't hear him. "So," she said, propping her chin on her hands. "I hear you've been working at the sheriff's station."

Whale cleared his throat. "Hey, Ruby, how about a refill?"

"Sounds great," she said, pushing an empty cup toward him, her eyes not leaving Hook's. "You were saying?"

"Well, I don't do much," Hook said, with a shrug that implied he did very much indeed. "I'm a fair researcher, so I usually split my time between the station and the library…"

"I saved a life today," Whale said loudly. "If anyone's interested…"

"No one is. Wow, the library, huh? That must be really interesting." Ruby's eyes sparkled.

"Oh, very," Hook nodded. "Belle is teaching me to bend those magic boxes to my will."

"Magic…? Oh, you mean computers!" Ruby giggled.

"I know how to work an MRI machine," Whale put in.

"So, uh—" Ruby cleared her throat, looking down shyly—"h-how are things with you and Emma?"

"Things are great," Whale shrugged. "Emma's awesome."

Ruby and Hook both turned to look him, Ruby irritated and Hook pitying.

"I think she was talking to me, mate," he said quietly. Whale waved an apologetic hand.

"I'll just blend back into the background. You two go on. Please."

Hook turned back to Ruby. "I suppose I'll love her to my dying day," he shrugged, as casually as though they were discussing his grocery list. "But we've been trying the 'just friends' thing, and I have to say, it's been working quite well for us."

"Oh?" Ruby said, trying to not look too interested and failing epically.

"I'm still not entirely clear on what's going on…"

Whale rubbed his eyes. How long could it possibly take to grill a cheap burger?

"…don't know what's going on with her and Neal, but apparently, it's none of my business," Hook was saying, rolling his eyes.

"Or mine," Whale said, getting up. "I've got to get back to the hospital. You know. People dying," he shrugged, stopping at the door. "Depending on me to save them. Whatever." He waited, but they were too engrossed in each other to see him leave. Whale heaved a sigh and walked out the door, remembering a certain car accident from a few years ago.

Goddamn it. Why did he have to be such a good doctor?