Clary lied on Imogen's couch, a blanket tightly wrapped around her body. She was supposed to be sleeping, and even though she was completely exhausted, she couldn't manage to fall asleep. Imogen had made her a cup of tea and given her a few painkillers, which should have made her sleepy. Yet, she lay there completely awake. She could hear Imogen rummaging around the house, and every time she entered the living room, Clary pretended to be sleeping. The old woman had been fretting over her all morning. She had offered to run her a bath, saying it might make her feel better to get cleaned up, but Clary had politely declined, claiming she didn't have the energy to bathe. Imogen had then offered Clary her bed, but Clary said she was fine on the couch and that she didn't want to dirty her sheets. Imogen had also offered to make Clary something to eat, but she had said she wasn't hungry at all. She didn't want to worry Imogen more by not sleeping.
She blamed part of her restlessness on the anxiety of facing Luke and everyone again. She knew Luke would be glad to see her, but she didn't want his pity. She didn't want him to feel bad for her. As for Jace, she had no idea what to expect. He had seemed so full of hate the last time she had seen him. With everyone Raphael had reported to Jonathan, she wondered if Jace actually did think she was on Jonathan's side. What was he going to do when he saw her? Was he going to try to arrest her again? Was he going to say anything to her? Was he even going to look in her direction?
And what about everyone else? How was Izzy going to react to the fact that Clary had kept such a huge secret from her? The word must have spread by now. Izzy would have received the news as second hand information. She would feel so betrayed that Clary hadn't told her herself. The idea of Izzy hating her caused another wave of anxiety to roll through her.
There was a knock on Imogen's door, and Clary stiffened. Fear started to course through her veins as her brain automatically went to Jonathan. It had only been around four hours since she called Luke. New York was at least five away. Had he gotten to her before Luke could?
Imogen entered the living room again, looking just as concerned as Clary felt. Clary noticed the glint of a kitchen knife in Imogen's hand as Imogen signaled for her to remain quiet. She watched silently while Imogen carefully opened the front door and greeted whoever was standing on her porch.
"Good afternoon, ma'am. I'm looking for Clary?" a familiar voice said.
"Luke!" Clary yelled as she threw herself of the couch. She sprinted over to the door and burst into tears as her eyes met Luke's kind blue ones.
"Oh, Clary," he choked out, his own eyes watering up as he carefully wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so glad you're safe."
Clary tightened her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. He rubbed his hand up and down her back in an attempt to comfort her. Once she had calmed down a little, he pulled away from her. It was then that she saw the car parked in front of Imogen's house. It was Jace's, and he was leaning on the hood, staring at his feet.
"What is he doing here?" Clary asked. She was shocked by how even her own voice was.
Luke followed her line of sight. "Jace? He demanded he come along. In fact, he insisted on driving. Might have broken a few traffic laws, but we did get here as fast as possible."
Clary nodded. She wondered why Jace had wanted to join Luke. Was he there to make sure she didn't run off? Was he driving so he could make sure he could take her to the precinct after?
"Why don't you go wait with him while I go talk to Imogen for a moment," Luke said, interrupting her train of thought.
That was when Clary realized Imogen was no longer standing at the door. She must have walked off in order to give Luke and Clary some privacy. "Okay." She started down the porch steps and paused. "Will you thank her for me?"
He smiled gently at her. "Of course."
Clary bit her lip and continued down the porch steps. She took her time approaching Jace. He didn't look up from his feet until she was less than a foot away from him. He looked terrible. There were dark circles under his eyes, his face was covered in stubble, and his hair was more unruly than usual. His face fell at the sight of her.
"Oh, Clare. What did he do to you?" he spoke softly, reaching a hand out toward her.
She moved out of his reach and shook her head. "Don't."
He frowned and let his hand fall limply to his side. "Listen, Clary, I am so s-"
"Jace," she interrupted, "not now."
"Oh, okay." He awkwardly cleared his throat. "There's a blanket and stuff in the back seat. Make yourself comfortable and we'll head out as soon as Luke is done."
"Thanks," she mumbled as she stepped toward the back door and climbed into the car. There was a blanket and pillow in the middle seat, bust she ignored them as she buckled herself in. She had a feeling she still wouldn't be able to fall asleep.
Jace got into the driver's seat. He kept glancing at her in the rearview mirror as they waited for Luke, but she avoided his gaze. She didn't want to be around him right now. The anxiety and fear of what he was going to do had left her. He obviously didn't believe she was in cahoots with Jonathan. However, now she just felt anger toward him. He had treated her so poorly when he found out about her secret, and she hadn't forgiven him for that. She had spent the past month worried that he was still against her, that he wouldn't believe her innocence. She shouldn't have needed to feel that way. A true friend, or whatever he was, wouldn't have placed that doubt in her mind. He wouldn't have made it so easy for her to believe Raphael and Jonathan's lies.
Finally, Luke came back. He buckled himself in and told Jace about how he got a statement from Imogen about what had happened. He then told Clary that, once she was feeling up to it, they were going to need to bring her into the precinct and have her tell them everything that had happened. Clary offered to tell them right then and there, but Luke said she needed her rest. His number one concern at that moment was her health and safety.
"Maybe we should take her to a hospital real quick," Jace said as he started the long drive back to New York.
Clary shook her head, but then realized Jace and Luke were looking ahead of them and wouldn't see it. "No," she said. "I just want to go home. Please."
"Okay." Jace glanced in the rearview mirror at her. "I'll call Alec and let him know we're on the way. He can make sure everything is in order for you."
"No," she said again. "I want to go to my home. My own apartment."
It was Luke who responded this time. He turned around in his seat to look at her. "Clary, I don't think that's such a good idea with Morgenstern still on the loose."
She looked him in the eye. "Luke, I really appreciate your concern, but I know my brother. He's not going to try the same trick twice. Plus, I can't keep being afraid of him. All I want right now is to be in my own space. You can set up a patrol car outside of my building if it will make you feel better."
He let out a sigh. "Alright. But instead of a patrol car there will actually be officers walking around the building, deal?"
"If that's what it takes for me to be in my own home, then deal."
A little less than five hours later, Jace pulled in front of her apartment building. Luke offered to walk her inside, but she declined. He had already called ahead and had officers do a sweep of the building. Everything seemed to be all right, and she didn't feel the need to be escorted inside.
Luke did get off the car at the same time she did, though. He hugged her tightly again, telling her thankful he was that she got away safely. When he finally released her, he glanced back at the car for a second.
"Try to take it easy on him, Clary," he said before kissing her on the top of the head and walking back to the car.
Clary waited for him to get in before heading inside. She stopped at the front desk to get an extra key to her apartment. The man behind the desk looked slightly alarmed, and it took her a second to remember her current state. She was still in the torn dress with bloodied feet and scratches all over her arms and legs. But she couldn't find it in herself to care at the moment.
She quickly took the key from the man and chose to go up the stairs instead of taking the elevator. At the moment, she didn't have the patience to wait for it. She bounded up the steps to her floor and half ran down the hall to her apartment. As soon as she opened her door, she sighed in relief. It was just as she had left it, and the familiarity of everything made her heart swell. She was finally home. In her own home. She wasn't in some spare room. She wasn't constantly being watched by someone. She was finally physically alone, which she grateful for. The emotional loneliness she felt was a different story, though.
She shook off that feeling and made her way into her room. She pulled the dress off her body and threw it into a random corner, planning to throw it in the trash later. She carefully took off her underclothes and threw them in the same corner before stepping toward her closet. She pulled out a fresh, clean towel and headed to the en suite.
Turning the water in the shower up to the highest setting, she waited for the bathroom to steam up before stepping under the stream of water. She took her time showering, despite the way the water stung at her wounds. She wanted to make sure she washed off all the dirt, grime, and blood. When she was satisfied with her level of cleanliness, she stepped out and wrapped the towel around her body.
It was at that moment that she heard a knock at her door. She silently walked toward the door, stopping in the kitchen to grab a knife just in case. Without making a sound, she approached to door and looked through the peephole. She was relieved to see Jace standing on the other side. However, that relief was quickly replaced with confusion and annoyance.
She undid the chain and unlocked the door before opening it just enough to make herself visible.
"What are you doing here, Jace?" she asked, not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice.
"You told me not now in Maine, and I've waited. But I really need to talk to you, Clary. Please, I'm begging you."
There was something in his expression that made her own soften. He seemed so desperate, even a little sad. "Fine," she sighed, as she opened the door wider for him.
He stared at her for a moment, not moving. Clary realized that she was still in just a towel and groaned internally.
"Just take a seat on the couch while I go change," she said before turning around and heading back to her room. She quickly threw on a pair of sleeping shorts and a tank top and piled her hair up into a bun on top of her head. When she entered the living room again, Jace was sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead at the wall. She stopped in front of him, crossing her arms. "Say whatever you came all the way here to say."
He ran a hand through his already messy golden curls and closed his eyes as he bit his lip. "Clary, I am so fucking sorry, okay?" He opened his eyes and Clary could see the sadness and regret swimming in their gold depths. "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I was just so surprised and, and hurt. I couldn't understand why you didn't feel like you could trust me with that information. And that made me mad and I took it out on you when I shouldn't have. Then, the whole abduction thing happened, and Clary? I was so afraid I was never going to see you again, and I honestly blamed myself. I've been worried sick for these past weeks thinking I was never going to find you. That you were gone for good. That Jonathan had done something terrible to you. That made me realize something, Clary. It made me realize that I don't want to lose you and that I want you in my life."
When he was finished with his speech, he stood up. Before Clary knew what was happening, he placed on hand on her waist and the other on the back of her neck. Her heart rate picked up as she stared into his eyes as he silently asked permission. She gave him a tiny nod, and he smiled before capturing her lips with his.
All the anger she had felt melted away as his lips moved against hers. She was still processing everything he had said, but she got the gist of it. He had been angry and hurt. And honestly, Clary knew he had had every right to be. She had lied to him for so long. Sure, he had reacted horribly, but he was apologizing now, and he seemed so sincere.
She stopped focusing on her words, and focused on kissing him instead. She had waited so long for this, and she was going to enjoy while she could. The hand that had been on her waist slipped under her shirt and started to wander up her back. He paused when he reached her upper back and pulled away.
"No bra?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Her cheeks went red, and she stepped away from him. "I was in a rush to get dressed."
He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah. I probably shouldn't have stopped by so unexpectedly."
She smiled at him. "I'm glad you did. And thanks for apologizing. But, I also need to apologize. I shouldn't have kept something that big from you. I was just so afraid of how you would react, and that stopped me from telling you for so long. But that was really wrong of me. I understand why you reacted the way you did, even though it sucked."
He let out a chuckle. "As eloquent as ever, Fray."
"Hey! I'm really tired, give me a break."
His smile fell and he gently cupped her face with his hand, running his thumb over her cheekbone. "When was the last time you slept?"
She shrugged, looking down. "Before I escaped, and not very well."
He removed his hand and shoved it into his pocket. "I should go. You need to sleep."
"You- You could stay for a little longer if you wanted," she offered, her cheeks heating up again.
"I would love to, but with that kiss and my adrenaline levels right now added with the fact you aren't wearing a bra, I really should go before we cross a line that should not be crossed tonight."
She nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right. I'll walk you out."
They took their time walking to the door, and Jace stopped in the doorway for a moment and looked at her. "I cannot express how happy I am that you're home and safe, Clare," he said before pressing his lips to hers for a brief moment. "I'm also really disappointed that you aren't staying with me."
She rolled her eyes at him. "I just need some time to myself, Jace. I need to be alone and sort through everything going on in my head right now. I need to be surrounded by familiarity for a little bit. It's nothing personal." The last part was partially a lie. When she had demanded to be taken to her own apartment, part of the reason was that she didn't want to stay with Jace. That had obviously changed, but she still wanted to be on her own for now.
"I understand. Goodnight, Fray."
"Night," she said as he turned and started down the hall. She closed the door and locked it. Then she double-checked all the locks on the windows before heading to bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.