I was in a room. It was white. Completely white, as if all colour was lost from the world. The ceiling was lit with lights as bright as the sun. I was looking straight at them as they stung my eyes, barely giving me the power to keep them open; let alone look around. But somehow I managed. My surroundings were nothing but strange machines, beeping and buzzing every second. Thats when I realised I was on a bed, tied down. My hands and feet hung in stirrups as a large belt kept me in position. Three people in white appeared out of nowhere just then.

"Dont worry Brooke. This will all be over soon." One said in a macabre voice.

Then there was blood. Lots of it.

I woke up with a jolt, my eyes stinging with the rapid gush of tears. It took me a while to realise that I was in my room and not in that horrific place. I sat on my bed helplessly, desperately touching myself to see if there remained any traces of blood. But there were none. My moans got louder as everything came back to me. All the memories of everything I lost. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't stay on the bed and I definitely couldn't go anywhere.

Panic and fear were groping me. Sweat mixed with tears was freely falling as I shook and cradled myself to get over the panic attack. But there was no mercy.

Lucas! I needed Lucas. But he was gone. I lost him a long time ago. I lost him the same moment I lost everything else.

Nathan? No, he lived in the same house as Lucas and as much as he tried to help, it wasn't what I needed.

What could I do? I was alone. Flashbacks of the nightmare were dancing in my head and it was getting too much to take.

I ran out. I didn't care. I just needed to run. Away from the pain. Away from the bad memories. Away from life. I was barefoot and in my pyjamas. But it didn't matter. It was five am. That didn't matter either. I needed safety and comfort and there was no one to provide me with that!

Running around town was wearing me out. And that was good. However, it did not stop the flashbacks. They were getting dimmer though. It was nearing 5:30 am now. I was running past the river court at that moment.

"Brooke! Is that you? What are you doing?" I heard Lucas call out to me. I froze for a second. He was holding a basketball in his hand.

"Brooke!" He called again. But I was still frozen. My vision clouded as unshed tears gathered in my eyes.

"Its cold! Why are you dressed like that and running without shoes?" He began walking towards me. That was my trigger point.

I ran. I ran as fast as my feet could carry me.

"Brooke! Brooke!" I heard him call out. But I didn't look back. There was no time. He couldn't know.

Running straight to my house,

I bolted the door and sat in the alley. Praying for a miracle. Praying for life. But nothing came my way.

Is it wrong that I was hoping for Lucas to follow me home? Praying that he would bang the door and refuse to leave until I opened it? But this is life. There are no Guardian Angels in reality. It wasn't like I was going to open the door anyway. Good for me. Saved me the headache from the banging.

My head was safe, but my heart got severed just a little bit more. It just made it even more real that Lucas was really gone.

I once read this Indian story. It was called 'The Postmaster' and it was written by the most famous Indian Author, 'Rabindranath Tagore.' The book ended on a sad note. But it summarised all that I was feeling in that fleeting moment.

Alas for our foolish human nature! Its fond mistakes are persistent. The dictates of reason take a long time to assert their own sway. The surest proofs meanwhile are disbelieved. False hope is clung to with all one's might and main, till a day comes when it has sucked the heart dry and it forcibly breaks through its bonds and departs. After that comes the misery of awakening, and then once again the longing to get back into the maze of the same mistakes.