I raised my finger to indicate the bar tender to bring me another round of drinks.
One, two, three, I had completely lost all count and control. Just what I wanted. My head felt heavy and the deafening music in the background wasn't helping. But I liked the headache. It kept my mind occupied on something else.
Lucas Scott shattered any hope I had. I didn't expect us to be cool again, but there was a lingering faith, hope that we could atleast be friends. The last year had been hard on me, yes with everything else it was tough. But what was harder was that Lucas wasn't with me. I couldn't see him, I didn't talk to him and I missed him so much. I prayed. Prayed just to be able to see him sometimes. I cried, agonisingly because I didn't know how to breathe without him around me.
Didn't he feel the same way? He loved me too at one point of time. Clearly not. How could he hate me all of a sudden? Didnt he miss me? A sharp pain erupted in my heart. With a couple of nerve-wracking sobs, I yelled out everything I was holding in.
"Hello, sir. Umm, are you Lucas? I am calling from Tryst, the bar. We have a lady here who is completely drunk and a bit out of control. She is crying and screaming for you actually as we speak. We are a bit afraid. We got your number as you were luckily registered as her emergency contact on her phone. So please could you come and get her?" The bartender spoke, but I didn't care. I was drowning too deep. And there was no way in hell Lucas would turn up. I put my head down at the table, wrapping it with both my hands trying to feel some warmth and comfort. But there wasn't any.
"Brooke!" I heard somebody yell. I had started dozing and the sharp sound almost made me fall off the bar stool. "Come on." He yelled as he pulled me sharply by my arm. I stumbled and fell hard onto the floor, unable to get up and hold myself even if I tried.
I saw him roll his eyes as I made and attempt to stand on my own but my weight was too heavy for me to lift. I looked at him with pleading eyes as he crouched down and pulled me in his arms.
"This has got to stop." He mumbled.
He put me in the car gently and started driving. I looked up towards him but he didn't ever meet my gaze.
Stopping the car near my house, he quickly went and got the key from under the gnome statue. I just waited in the car, the buzz making me too baffled to think straight.
Once the door was open, he came to get me and carried me up to my room.
"Different." He remarked and that was when I realised this was the first time he had come here since I returned.
"Please stay." I whispered as a few stray tears raced down my cheeks.
"No Brooke. I'm sorry." He sighed as his eyes shut and pressed really hard as if he was trying with all his might not to let loose.
"You came Lucas. You came to get me. You heard that I was in trouble and you got me out. It means that you do care Luke! Otherwise, you could have just told the bartender to call an uber." I tried to explain in my slurry words.
"I can't Brooke! It's just so damn hard. I can barely wrap my head around the fact that you're back. Let alone see you this broken. I know you are hurting Brooke. I saw it. And I feel responsible. I am partly to blame for it. What happened, happened. And I never stood by your side. I never helped you out. I didn't save you." He yelled.
"Save me now, Lucas. Save me now!" We were both wrung up, emotional and vulnerable.
I ran into my closet and picked up both those boxes which had the contents of my heart in them. But my heart was shattered anyway. No heart, no box, right?
"Here, Keep it. You had my heart and now its dust. You can turn this to dust too." I threw both those boxes towards his chest. They hit him hard and fell to the floor.
I cried out as he saw the top of each box, decorated intricately.
"What is that?" He sputtered.
"Everything." I simply replied. "Shut your door on the way out."
I couldn't wait to see his reaction. I entered the bathroom, finding that ad my only escape route and locked the door firmly behind me. Sitting down on the cold tiled floor, I waited for any sound of his departure.