The music was loud enough to make the ground vibrate beneath his feet as he walked toward the entrance of the White Rabbit. Neal pulled the door open, and was assaulted by a barrage of lights and music. People were already dancing and—judging from how they were dancing—drinking.

"Neal!"

Emma made a squealing noise and ran toward him, a drink in her hand. Before he could reply, she threw her arms around him, forcefully enough to make him stagger back.

"Okay, Emma," he said in a strained voice, trying to pry her tightly wound arms off his neck. She pulled back, grinning at him, her eyes slightly unfocused.

"I'm so glad you're here!" she said loudly, clearly drunk. "I'm a dead cheerleader," she added unnecessarily, pointing to herself.

"That's—that's great. How much have you been drinking?" he asked, peering at her in concern. Emma blinked at him, and raised her eyes to the ceiling, her mouth falling open.

"Uh…this many," she said finally, holding up five fingers.

"Neal, thank God!" Hook suddenly came into view, pushing past a closely dancing couple. He was slightly out of breath, his hair disheveled. "It's madness in there," he said in response to Neal's raised eyebrows. "Where the hell were you, anyway? I haven't been able to have a drink, I've been watching her all night." He jerked his thumb irritably at a giggling Emma.

Neal was too busy staring confusedly at him to really hear what he was saying. "What are you?" he asked, crinkling his brow. Hook's costume was hardly a costume at all: it was a hoodie with faded jeans and a scarf.

Hook beamed. "I'm you," he said proudly. "Here, watch this—" He slumped and spoke with a flat affect, half-closing his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, bro. Gimme a cuppa coffee, already."

Neal's eyebrows rose. "Yeah, it's uncanny," he said. Hook straightened, flashing him a smile.

"What are you?" he asked, gesturing to Neal's street clothes.

Neal looked down, then back up at Hook. He didn't want to disappoint him. Hook had really taken a shine to this world's holidays, particularly Halloween. He got so excited when the entire town joined in the wild partying, getting drunk, dancing to loud music, dressing up in costumes that even he thought were ridiculous… Neal couldn't bear to destroy the magic for him, poor bastard.

"Uh…" he said, trying to think of something. "I'm—"

"Oh, Neal, there you are!"

Snow saved him the trouble of answering, appearing as she pushed her way through the crowd, dragging David behind her.

"Hey," he said, blinking at their elaborate costumes. "Wow. You guys look… Look at you guys."

"Thanks," Snow smiled, adjusting the flapper's feather on her head. David scratched his face under the long white beard tied under his wizard's hat. "You're here early, I thought you were going to take Henry trick-or-treating."

"Nah, I rented him some scary movies," Neal said, deciding not to tell Snow that he agreed with Henry that he was more than old enough to go trick-or-treating on his own. "He didn't want to go out."

Snow looked at David meaningfully, but she dropped the subject. "Come on," she said, beckoning Neal further into the party. "You want a drink?"

"Actually, I'm going to hang out with these guys," Neal said, moving his head toward Hook and Emma. "You guys go on, I'll catch up with you later."

Snow shrugged, and pulled David after her, whirling him onto the dance floor. Neal watched them go, taking in the scene: the colored lights zoomed around the room at a disorienting speed, the room thudding with the volume of the music; half the people were dancing, the other half scattered around tables with drinks; there was even a suspicious cloud of smoke coming from one corner. Neal turned back around, shaking his head to clear it.

Hook exhaled in frustration as he supported a giggling Emma, one of her pigtails tickling his face as she staggered toward the floor.

"Killy," she slurred. "You're so pretty…"

"Yeah, I know," he grunted, struggling to keep her upright. "Neal, you want to help me out here?"

"Yeah, all right." Neal took one elbow as Hook took the other, balancing Emma on her feet.

"Maybe we should get her a seat," Hook said, squinting around for an empty table.

"No," Emma grumbled. "I want to dance. Somebody dance with me."

"Don't worry, Em, we'll dance after you get some coffee in you or something. Shit, she's drunk," he muttered to Hook as they dragged her toward a table.

"I know," Hook grimaced. "She's been calling me 'Killy' all night."

"I foresee that nickname catching on," Neal said seriously. Hook's head snapped up in a panic.

"Don't," he said, his eyes wide with pleading. "Neal, please."

"I don't have time to discuss this with you, Killy."

"Neal!" Hook looked at him urgently. "Please."

"Let's take care of Emma first," Neal said over her head. "Come on, Killy."

They pulled Emma to an empty seat and sat her down on a chair, her head lolling around as she grinned at them. "You guys are awesome," she said in a breathy voice, smudging her make-up as she giggled into Neal's shoulder. He glanced up at Hook, who was staring down at Emma, shaking his head.

"I can't believe you let her get this drunk!"

"Neal, please," Hook snapped. "When have I ever been responsible?"

"Fair point," Neal sighed, standing up. Emma hummed to herself serenely, smiling widely as she gazed around the dance floor. They looked down at her, watching her pigtailed head lazily turn side to side.

"All right," Hook said, clapping his shoulder. "I'm going to go get drunk."

"What, you're going?" Neal turned his eyebrows up, and gestured to Emma. "What about her?"

"Your turn to babysit," Hook said, walking backwards. "I've got to find Ruby. She came as 'Sexy Vampire'." He wiggled his eyebrows, his eyes gleaming. "'Sexy Vampire', Neal!"

"All right, go," Neal said, waving him away. "Go have fun, you disgusting little man."

Hook grinned, and disappeared into the crowd. Neal turned back to Emma with a sigh, putting his hands on his hips.

"What are we going to do with you, Em?" he muttered. She gazed up at him, smiling.

"Dance?" she said hopefully. "Drink?"

"No, no, no," Neal said, shaking his head. "No more drinking."

"You're no fun," she whined. "Dance with me, please?" She clutched the end of his shirt pleadingly. "Please, Neal?"

"Okay, we'll dance," he said, gently tugging his shirt out of her hands. "I'm just going to find you something to eat first, okay? Emma, hey—look at me—" he took her by the shoulders, pushing her head up to face him—"stay here, okay? Don't move, I'll be right back."

"'Kay," she said, nodding her head clumsily.

Neal rubbed his eyes, and swept his gaze around the room, looking for food tables. He noticed people standing with plates in their hands over in the far corner. "Stay here, Em," he reminded her, and started pushing his way through dancing couples.

"'S'cuse me," he said, turning sideways to get past Cleopatra and her astronaut boyfriend. "Sorry," as he brushed past Darth Vader and Princess Padme. "Okay, wow…" when he bumped into a Teletubby.

He finally made his way through the crowd, stumbling out just in time as another techno dance number started up. The food tables were already in a sorry state: chips mingled with pretzels, dip splattered on the cheap table cloths. The punch bowl was nearly empty, but a mummy was refilling it.

Neal grabbed a paper plate, and looked at the bowls, grimacing. He finally grabbed a handful of tortilla chips, scanning the rest of the tables for anything more filling. He didn't really consider Doritos to be a good supplement, so he turned back, facing the nightmare of the dancing crowd.

"You're a brave man, Cassidy," he muttered to himself, approaching the mob. He took a deep breath.

This time, he had a strategy: if he power-walked and pushed couples rudely enough, without any regard for their feelings or toes, he had a shot at getting out with the plate still full and his dignity intact. He didn't make many friends, though: Darth Vader and Padme had a few choice words for him; Cleopatra and the astronaut made a few rude suggestions; the Teletubby really had no room to judge, so he just ignored it. Neal shoved past the last couple of dancing assholes, holding his hand over the plate to keep it from spilling.

On the other side of the crowd, he looked for Emma's table, where he had left her drunkenly gazing at the other partygoers. He squinted through the colored lights, looking for the blonde pigtails. His stomach dropped when he saw her empty chair.

"Shit."

Drunk Emma was on the loose. Neal slammed the plate down, not caring as he sent a cascade of tortilla chips through the air and into several people's drinks.

"EMMA!" he shouted, fighting to be heard over the music. How the hell was he going to find her in this chaos? "Goddamn it!" he swore, squeezing his eyes shut. He ran his fingers through his hair, thinking hard. Okay, where would Emma go, where would drunk Emma go?

"Dancing," he said suddenly, opening his eyes. "She wanted to—oh, goddamn it."

He glared at the dancing mob, disgusted at what he was going to have to do. Praying that she was at the edges somewhere, he began walking the length of the dance floor, looking for any sign of her.

"Emma?" he called, ducking as people's arms flung out in time with the beat. "EMMA?"

"Neal, honestly, there's no need to shout!" a woman's annoyed voice said. Neal whipped his head around to see Regina in a long vampire dress, frowning as she lowered her hands from her ears. Robin stood next her, wearing his Dracula costume.

"I'm looking for Emma," he explained. "Have you seen her?"

"Yes, she looks ridiculous," Regina sniffed. Neal raised his eyes exasperatedly.

"No, I mean, do you know where she went?" he said. "She's drunk off her ass, and I can't find her."

"Oh. No, haven't the foggiest." Regina stood on tiptoe, scanning the crowd with a frown on her face. "She might be in there. The crazies seem to flock more toward the center. Speaking of—" she turned back to Neal, grimacing—"have you seen what Ruby Lucas is wearing? Or rather, isn't wearing?"

"Heard about it," Neal said cautiously. "Sexy vampire, right?"

"Actually, that's me," Robin said, and laughed at his own joke. Neal and Regina looked at him blandly, making his smile fade.

"I was kidding," he said, sounding irritated. "My God, get a sense of humor!"

"Robin," Regina began impatiently, but she trailed off as her eyes caught something in the distance. She made a noise of disgust as a couple broke off from the crowd and started walking hurriedly toward them, hand in hand. Neal squinted to see Hook and Ruby approach them, Hook looking extremely displeased.

"Neal, what the hell are you doing?" he snapped. "I thought you were going to keep an eye on Emma! We just saw her dancing like a lunatic in the middle of the floor!"

"I went to go get her some food and she wandered off," Neal said tiredly. "Go get her, would you? I don't have it in me to go back in there."

"Are you—? No!" Hook said, affronted. "No, I've been watching her all night! And sober isn't really my color, mate, so I'd rather find a few shots and get drunk enough to forget my own name!"

"What name would that be—Killy?" Neal taunted. Hook glowered at him, and he raised his hook threateningly.

"Neal, so help me God, if you call me that one more time, I will take this hook and put it through your cornea."

"Just go get her, I'll watch her!" Neal snapped, throwing his hand out. "Get her off the floor, and you can get wasted after that!"

"It's your turn—!"

"I will legally change your name to 'Killy'!"

"I told you not to call me that!"

"I'll get Emma!" Regina shouted over them, and gave them both a smack upside the head. "Idiots."

Hook rubbed his head, looking at Regina as if he'd only just noticed she was there. "Regina," he said, blinking at her. His eyes travelled up and down her costume. "Damn, woman…"

"You repel me," Regina said, curling her lip in disdain, and walked away. Hook watched her go in a stupor, his mouth hanging open and his eyes staring.

"Holy shit," he breathed.

"Dude," Neal muttered, elbowing him and jutting his head toward an uncomfortable-looking Robin. Hook smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry."

Robin waved his hand, sighing. "I've been putting up with it all night," he said, walking closer toward them.

"Mmm, I'll bet," Hook said, folding his arms as he watched Regina stride off into the crowd. Ruby smacked him in the arm, looking deeply offended, but Hook barely seemed to notice her anger.

"Ruby, love, get us some drinks, would you?" he murmured, not taking his eyes off Regina.

"Eeesh," Neal muttered, seeing the outraged look on Ruby's face as she spun on her heel disbelievingly. Robin carefully looked at his shoes as she started to rant.

"Why, because I'm a woman? You lazy shit-heads can't get your own drinks? It's too important that you ogle other women, so you have to send your little servant out to fetch your drinks?"

"It's nothing to do with you being a woman!" Hook said irritably, facing her. "You're a waitress!"

Ruby's eyes bugged out. "You're such a jerk!" she said viciously, hitting him again as she stormed off. Hook frowned in mild annoyance, but didn't seem to care much about her hitting him or leaving.

"But really, Robin, she is gorgeous," he said in wonderment, as Regina executed a perfect right hook to a zombie dancing a little too close to her. "How do you keep your hands off her?"

"Okay, wow, " Neal said loudly, feeling humiliated on Robin's behalf. Hook tsked apologetically, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry, mate—"

"No, no," Robin said, looking a little green nonetheless. "Quite all right."

"—I have this really terrible habit—"

"It's fine, seriously—"

"—I'm such a bloody… er, Neal, what is it that Henry calls me?"

"A douchebag."

"Right. Robin, mate, I'm sorry. I'm a bloody douchebag—"

"It's all fine, so maybe we could not talk about it—"

"—I'm such a slut—"

"Okay, shut up now!" Neal said, covering his hand over Hook's mouth. Hook frowned, mumbling a few things unintelligibly. "What?" he asked, lifting his hand.

"I said, 'But don't you think she's an absolute goddess?" Hook said, standing on tiptoe to get a better glance at Regina. Robin looked up at the ceiling, as if silently praying for God to smite Hook right there.

Honestly, Neal didn't see what the big deal was about Regina. He knew that technically she was beautiful, but….meh. There was something about her that just made it impossible for him to see her in that way. She was too… well, he didn't know what it was, but for some reason, it felt weird.

"She's all right, I guess," he said, lowering his hand. Robin and Hook's heads whipped toward him in disbelief.

"All right, you guess?" Hook repeated incredulously.

"Are you mad?" Robin scoffed.

"She's a bloody miracle in that dress!" Hook said, outraged.

"Okay, you have to stop that," Robin said, rounding on Hook. "Besides, don't you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, Ruby looks great," Neal said. "I thought you'd be all over her tonight."

Hook gave a him a disparaging look. "Honestly, Neal, how shallow do you think I am?"

He shrugged. "Very."

Hook looked as though he were about to argue, then shrugged. "Well, yes, I am. But the point is," he said, holding up a finger with renewed purpose, "Ruby drives me mad. Not in the good way. In the bad way. In the very, very bad way."

"The laugh?" Neal asked, raising his eyebrows knowingly.

"Yes, but it's so much more," Hook said frustratedly. "She's an idiot, Neal. I sit there and I listen to her go on about this Jason kid for hours and hours and how he's dating this—"

"Drugstore whore," Neal nodded. "Yep."

"She talks about it incessantly!" Hook said, throwing up his hands. "And she's so shrill and shrieky and naggy and whiny and clingy and she fixates on these meaningless little details—I mean, no bloody wonder Jason's dating the drugstore whore, Ruby's—!"

"I think she's lonely," Robin cut in thoughtfully. Neal and Hook turned their heads to look at him. Robin stared off into space, still thinking.

"Regina's like that," he mused. "She gets so afraid that people are going to leave her, and she's going to be alone again… That's why she's so clingy, she doesn't want to be left alone." He nodded slowly, deep in thought.

Hook watched Robin sourly, his mouth a thin line. "I really hate him sometimes," he muttered to Neal.

"Makes you feel like a real asshole?"

"I'm such an asshole," Hook said, closing his eyes.

"Little bit."

He sighed, tilting his head back. "I'll give her some time to find another guy to make me 'jealous,'" he decided. "Then I s'pose I better go after her…"

"What a little Romeo you are," Neal said in mock reverence.

"I am," Hook agreed sadly.

Regina finally emerged from the crowd, dragging a still-dancing Emma behind her. She gave Emma an impatient tug as another song started up, resisting Emma's efforts to jump back in the dancing crowd. She staggered drunkenly after Regina, tripping over her own feet and laughing as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world.

"Hey, guys!" she said breathlessly, beaming at them. "You looked pissed, what's wrong?"

"Here," Regina said briskly, tossing Emma's hand at Neal. "I think you lost this."

"Thanks." Neal grimaced as Emma half-collapsed on him, putting back a foot to steady them. "She's smashed."

"I can see that," Hook said, looking at her disapprovingly. "She's really put a damper on the night, I'm not going to be able to get half as drunk as I planned."

"Oh, boo-hoo!" Emma grumbled, scowling at him. Hook's eyebrows rose as she reached for him. "C'mere, I wanna tell you something."

He exchanged a glance with Neal, who shrugged. Hook leaned a little closer to Emma, looking rather annoyed.

"What?"

Emma smiled at him dreamily. "You're awesome. I love you, bro."

"Okay," Hook sighed, straightening up.

Emma swiveled her head to smile up at Neal. "I love you, too, bro."

Neal patted her head, smiling patronizingly. "Me, too, bro."

Emma sighed happily, slinging her arms around their necks. "You guys…" Her head flopped on Hook's shoulder. He made a face, trying to shrug her off.

"Emma, come on, get up," he said, shaking her. "Get up."

"Don't drink the punch," she slurred, allowing Neal to gently detach her arm from Hook's neck. "It gets you so drunk, man. So. Fucking. Drunk."

"I won't touch it," Hook lied. He looked up at Neal. "Okay, you take her home. I'm going to go find Ruby."

"'Kay," Neal said as Hook started walking away. "Be nice, Killy!" he called after him, laughing when Hook glared at him over his shoulder.

"Neal?" Emma whispered in his ear.

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm gonna puke."

"You say the sweetest things." He sighed, for what felt like the hundredth time that night. "Let's find you a bathroom."

Emma emerged from the bathroom fifteen minutes later, still looking fairly green. Neal glanced up from his phone, on which he had been playing a very frustrating level of Candy Crush. Emma walked toward him unevenly, grimacing.

"You look grumpy," she said, allowing him to take her elbow.

"Damn chocolate squares," he explained, holding up his phone. Emma groaned, throwing her head back.

"I hate chocolate squares! And squirrels," she said as an afterthought. "Squirrels are stupid."

Neal snorted, opening the door and leading her outside. She shivered, wincing against the bitterly cold wind as he took her to the car.

"Fuck, it's cold," she complained, wrapping her arms around her for warmth as he unlocked the door.

"Yep," he agreed, opening it. "All right, come on—left leg first… there you go. And right leg…okay." He shut the door and walked around to the driver's side, sliding into the familiar front seat of the yellow bug. Emma looked around the interior with a smile on her face as he started the car and pulled onto the road.

"Hey," she said, nudging him. "This is where we first met."

"Mmm-hmm," he said, squinting through the darkness.

"I broke into the car and started driving… and then you just popped up in the back," she grinned, turning her head to look at the back seat.

"Yes, I did." He side-eyed her. "Any reason for the random stroll down Memory Lane?"

She shrugged. "Squirrels," she said mysteriously.

Neal raised his eyebrows, nodding slowly. "Squirrels," he agreed.

He turned his attention back to the road, and spent the rest of the silent drive wondering what the hell "squirrels" meant.

Don't ask me what "squirrels" means, I have no idea. My mind is wobbly wobbly, random wandom place.