Harry didn't like being in a school which had unicorn-feasters on premises. He said as much to Hermione.

What she said back, had him blinking - "At least that means they're weak. Someone tried to kill you Harry... what if they're related?"

"You think... Snape... would kill a unicorn?" Harry asked.

Hermione shook her head, glad that Ron wasn't around. "No, that whatever you saw wasn't Snape. They may be allies, or they may not. But it's a damn sight more likely that thing was trying to kill you. I mean, seriously, Snape is a Hogwarts Teacher. If there's any other possibility, I'm going to go with that. You'd think they'd have contracts to prevent teachers from harming students."

Harry smirked, glad that Hermione was finally seeing reason. "No, that's implausible. However, they probably have disciplinary reviews, and Snape was casting that counter-curse in front of Dumbledore himself, not to mention every single other teacher. You can't tell me McGonagall doesn't have some battle training, and Flitwick's a master duelist."

"Oh, that's right, Harry!" Hermione said, "I don't know why I hadn't thought of that earlier!"

"Easy," Harry said with a gentle smile, "You were so sure of yourself that you didn't consider alternatives."

"So what do you want to do, Harry?" Hermione said.

"I honestly feel a bit relieved, though I feel like someone ought to tell Dumbledore." Harry said.

"I bet Hagrid already has." Hermione said confidently.

Snape had finally figured out the jape people had played on him. Harry and the twins were informed about this when the hapless Ravenclaw pretending to have muscle-rending cramps was 'stupefied' instead of being hauled off to the infirmary. Snape had snapped, after the Ravenclaw was stunned, "Oh, I'll deal with you later."

The next day, Saturday, was the liveliest breakfast Hogwarts has ever seen. Quite a feat when you consider the Weasley Twins, and the Marauders.

Snape sat down to eat, early as usual, and the earlybirds in Ravenclaw sat down with him. The Slytherins arrived in perfect time and unison, showing up about twenty minutes later.

Harry Potter was early, as were the Twins and Hermione. Ron was impossible to wake, so they hadn't even tried.

Flitwick came in next, bustling with some papers he was still looking at. He poured himself some tea, stirring in some sugar, and then took a drink. Only to be transformed, instantly into a Hawk. Flustered, he flapped his wings, putting himself on top of the chair, and proceeding to cock an eye at the different pages.

Sitting beside Flitwick, Snape helpfully changed the page whenever Flitwick let out an ear-splitting shriek. Harry idly thought it was the least he could do.

Minerva McGonagall sat down next, giving a long look at Flitwick, before casting a detection spell on her utensils and plates. Finding them fine, she poured out of the same black coffee Snape had been drinking. She turned into a cat, and a saucer of whipped cream appeared. She proceeded to devour it, only at the end licking her whiskers to remove the cream.

Sprout tutted at the rest of the table, but didn't actually cast anything. Harry thought that was because she wanted to insist that she'd never been a part of the initial prank. Harry thought, as well, that she didn't know Snape very well. She turned into a koala, that proceeded to hug the highbacked chair, climbing up it until she found some eucalpytus leaves.

By this point most of the tables were laughing.

Hooch turned into a catbird, and proceeded to try to roost in Snape's hair - something she would only desist when he threw a hex at her.

Dumbledore sat down last, and the entire hall seemed to quiet, as he asked Severus Snape, "Are you doing your best Doctor Dolittle impression today?"

Snape merely responded, "mmm."

Dumbledore proceeded to cast ever-increasingly elaborate detection spells (Harry found himself desperately wishing for a parchment). When he was finally satisfied, he took a cautious sip of his English Breakfast tea. At which point he seemed to shrink in on himself, turning into a Black Mamba - long and skinny, and very very poisonous. Snape snapped his fingers, and out of nowhere, a plump rat appeared.

Ron, who had arrived sometime earlier to little fanfare, hurriedly checked his pockets to make certain Scabbers was still there.

[a/n: Dumbledore isn't as good at being a mastermind as he pretends. How did snape pull it off? Leave a review!]