I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, LIKE I SAID: THE STORY IS IN CHARGE, NOT ME. If you hate it, please don't tell me: you'll make me sad, and I'm not nearly as cute when I'm sad, and then I won't be able to get away with half the things I get away with :)))

Ruby wrapped her arms around herself, walking stiffly along the sidewalk. A tear dripped down her cheek; she tried to scrub it away, but then another one followed; and another, and another one, until there were too many and she gave up.

It was freezing; after all, it was November in Maine. She hadn't thought of it at the time, but she desperately wished she'd thought to bring her coat. Between the tears and the shivering, she probably looked a mess right now. And for the first time in her life, Ruby Lucas didn't give a damn how she looked. She stopped suddenly, bringing her hands to her eyes without caring that they were going to turn black from all her mascara, and let herself cry.

"Ruby?"

She looked up, her hands falling away from her eyes: Hook was watching her uncertainly, kind of leaning as though he had been preparing to make a run for it, but thought better of it. She immediately wiped her tears, and broke into a fake smile.

"Hi," she said, her voice noticeably less chipper, even she could tell. "What's up?"

"I was just coming to see you," he said, walking toward her cautiously.

Ruby nodded silently, not trusting herself to talk, because she knew her voice would come out sounding wobbly.

"Why, uh… why aren't you at the diner?" he asked, stopping in front of her.

"On my break," she muttered, trying to will a tear to retreat back into her eye. It didn't work, so she kept her head down, pretending to examine the sidewalk. "Think I'll just sit here," she said, going for light and airy, but sounding closer to pathetic. Nonetheless, she folded her legs and sat on the sidewalk, staring at the other storefronts across Main Street. She kept her arms wrapped around her for warmth, rubbing them to take away as much numbness as she could.

Hook stared at her for a moment, frowning as if he were mentally wrestling with something. Ruby instinctively shrunk back when he started muttering to himself, walking around in a small circle as he made wild little gestures: wow—he was literally arguing with himself.

She watched as he stopped suddenly, glaring up at the sky, and hastily shrugged off his jacket. Quickly, he walked over to her, holding it out.

"Here."

She raised an eyebrow. He looked back at her impatiently.

"Ruby, take the damn jacket, I'm freezing just looking at you."

She hesitantly reached out and took it, stuffing her arms in the sleeves as he sat down beside her.

"So," he said, rubbing his good hand over his left arm in an effort to keep warm.

"So."

There was a silence. Ruby side-eyed him warily, still a little freaked that he'd offered her his jacket. That was just plain weird. Hook never did stuff like that. Granted, she'd never done stuff like run out in the middle of November in nothing but her skimpy uniform, but whatever.

"So, how you been?" he tried again.

"Fine," she said, though the whimper behind her voice completely negated that. He looked round at her, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"You've been crying," he said finally. "Typically that implies something is decidedly not fine."

She didn't answer. He let out an exaggerated breath, and continued talking.

"See, most people cry when something has upset them. And since you've insisted that we sit out here, in this ridiculously cold weather, you may as well talk. At least it'll keep us awake—you freeze to death faster if you fall asleep," he added grumpily, rubbing his arm more vigorously.

"It's nothing important," Ruby said in a low voice. "Just… girl stuff."

"How illuminating," Hook said dryly.

A flash of anger hit her, and she stomped her feet hard enough to make them sting. "Snow basically called me a complete slut in front of everyone in the diner because I decided to give you another shot! Illuminating enough for you?" she snapped, glaring at him.

If he was taken aback by her outburst, he didn't show it; he simply looked at her and said, "Oh."

"Oh?" she repeated derisively.

"Mmm-hmm."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "That's the beauty of the word 'oh'. It doesn't mean anything."

She stared at him as he looked across the street, humming something under his breath. He didn't seem to notice as she gave a snort of disgust, tossing her head.

"This is your fault," she told him.

"Most things are," he said pleasantly.

She scoffed, shaking her head slightly. For all his looks and charms, Hook was quite possibly the most annoying person she'd ever met. Other than Leroy, of course.

"So why were you coming to see me?" she asked acidly. "Craving a grilled cheese for Emma? Or lunch with Belle?"

"Oh, Emma's in the hospital right now," he said, batting a hand.

"Why's she in the hospital?" Ruby couldn't help feeling spitefully glad, imagining Emma lying broken on a hospital bed.

"Cracked a rib or something," he shrugged. "Neal's with her."

"Oh."

Another silence fell between them. It was awkward, to say the least. If Ruby was going to be perfectly honest, they really didn't talk much. Sure, a few flirty words here and there in the diner, but when they were alone, there wasn't a lot of conversation.

"Thing is, Ruby," he said after a long pause, "if you're with me, people are going to assume it's because…"

"I know," she said.

"See, I'm probably the biggest slut in town," he said bluntly. "And that makes you a slut by association, because everyone assumes the only thing I'm interested in is—"

"Yes, I got it, thanks," she said loudly, feeling rather irritated with him now. Did he honestly think he was helping like this, or did he strive to be obnoxious? "You know, it's a good thing you're pretty, 'cause you're kind of a dumb-ass."

He shrugged, his teeth chattering. "I get that a lot."

Ruby turned her head to look at him. "So do I."

"It's so rude," he said shamefully, shaking his head.

"You've got room to talk," she muttered. Like Hook had any right to complain about rudeness. There was a reason—well, several, actually—why she'd broken up with him last week. She was still angry with him about all that. She hadn't planned on getting back together with him; frankly, she was still surprised he asked at all. But he had really shocked her last night, standing up in front of the whole diner, professing his love for her. It was weird and embarrassing and really freaked her out, but at the same time… it was the kind of thing he'd have done for Emma.

Hook blew out a breath slowly, making little clouds in the air. "I'm…sorry," he said hesitantly. "I know I'm a jerk, but I'm…" He broke off, shuddering. "Fuck, it's cold!"

"Dude, I know," she said, shivering violently. "I'm turning blue. And my name's Red."

"Eww, Ruby, don't make puns," he groaned.

"It's funny."

"No. It's not."

"You make dumb jokes all the time!" she flared.

"Well, you seemed to think they were funny! You laughed at every single one of them! Loudly, I might add."

"I didn't laugh because I thought they were funny! I laughed because I thought you were hot!"

"Well, I'm not hot now, I'm freezing my ass off," he said irritably. "Can we please go inside somewhere?"

"You go! No one's holding a gun to your head! Just leave!" She folded her arms tightly, glaring across the street. "And you just made a pun, too, you asshat, so don't bitch at me about dumb jokes!"

She waited for him to stand up, and ask for his jacket back in that petulant voice he used when he was offended, but he didn't. Ruby flicked her eyes to the side, still glaring: he hadn't moved, he was just sitting there, muttering darkly under his breath. "Leave, Hook."

"I can't leave!" he snapped. "I'm your… boyfriend-thing, or whatever."

Ruby stared at him for a long time, her eyes still narrowed witheringly: Hook sat there, still muttering under his breath, rubbing his hand up and down his left arm. "You're asshat," she said venomously.

"I've been told," he through gritted teeth.

"I don't even like you that much."

"Big surprise."

"And I'm probably going to break up with you again before the week's out, but right now, I need a hug."

"I'll hug you if we can go someplace warmer."

"Just give me a hug, asshat."

"Ruby, this is so stupid, why do we have to stay out here?"

"Would you fucking hug me? Jesus Christ, Hook—"

"All right," he huffed, putting his arm around her. "God forbid we should go someplace warmer, so they don't find us frozen like the Little Match Girl tomorrow morning—"

"Shut. Up."

There was another long pause, during which they both braced themselves against the bitterly cold wind gusting through the air, stinging their faces with its icy touch.

"You're a shitty hugger."

"It's fucking cold, Ruby."

"I know it's cold, asshat!"

"Then can we please go inside?"

"Fine!" she said, throwing her hands up. "Fine! We'll go inside! But not the diner!"

"All right, whatever! Not the diner!"

He helped her up, looking dubiously at her shorts as she stood. "Why the bloody hell would you wear shorts in this weather?"

"Probably for the same reason all your shirts have plunging necklines," she said dryly.

"Fair enough," he shrugged.

They walked down Main Street, not quite touching, but close enough to keep bumping each other. Ruby stuffed her hands in the pockets of his jacket, hunching her shoulders against the wind.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go for it," Hook said, his voice trembling as he shuddered against the freezing wind.

"What's so great about Emma?" Ruby glared at the ground beneath her feet. "It seems like every guy in town is half in love with her. Why is that?"

He was silent for a moment. "Well, I can't speak for every guy in town, but I love Emma because she's one of my best friends," he said finally. "Same way I love Neal, or Belle. Except I also wouldn't mind making out with her."

Ruby crinkled her brow. "Okay…" she said slowly, trying to figure out whether or not that was offensive.

He seemed to realize what he'd said sounded vaguely rude because he quickly added, "Emma's a bro, okay? Probably the hottest bro I've ever had, mind. But that's it." He glanced at her sideways before dropping his eyes to the ground again. "That's probably all it's ever going to be."

"Probably," she said, smiling bitterly. Ruby didn't really want to hear him go on about Emma anymore, but she was at least satisfied that he'd been moping after her for nothing.

"But I'm kind of fine with that," he went on, as if she hadn't said anything. "It's… I don't know, it's weird. Forget it."

"If you're fishing for sympathy—"

"All right, I'll tell you," he said, sighing dramatically. "It's like, I had a habit for loving Emma. I fell pretty hard when I first met her, and I just… I don't know, I got used to it. The whole time we've been friends, I've always just assumed I was in love with her. But then, you and me started going out… had a miserable time—"

"Wow. Thanks."

"Ruby, please, I'm monologuing," he said impatiently. She mockingly waved an apology at him, and he continued. "Had a miserable time. You were shrieky, I was—"

"An asshat."

Hook closed his eyes, clenching his teeth. "An asshat," he agreed, his voice tense. "And then you broke up with me—pretty epically, I have to say, never got to congratulate you on that—and I thought I'd feel relieved… but I didn't." He frowned down at the ground. "I…" he mumbled something unintelligible. Ruby craned her neck to hear.

"What?"

"I…." He mumbled again, only a hair louder.

"How illuminating," she mimicked him. He shot her an annoyed look.

"Don't make fun of my accent. It's charming."

"Is it? I wouldn't know, because I can't hear anything you're saying!"

"I said, I missed you! Jesus!"

"Sure," she snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Ruby, I am trying so hard to be sensitive and caring right now, and you're just—"

"Not being stupid enough to fall for it?" she supplied. Hook's eyebrows shot up.

"Well," he huffed.

"You're such a diva."

He sputtered, putting his hand to his heart in an injured way. "A diva?" he repeated indignantly. "Ruby, I just got through telling you—"

"What you tell me is meaningless. Last night you told me you loved me, we both know that was a crock of shit," she said, talking over him. "You declare love, like, fifty times a day. It's starting to lose its punch, like everything else you say."

"I'm an emotional guy," he argued. "When I say something, I mean it, in that moment I say it. I just happen to have very fleeting emotions." He shrugged. "It's kind of like that thing kids have, when they can't focus on stuff."

"Emotional ADD? That's what you're trying to sell me?" she said, looking at him in disbelief. "Because if you think that's going to work—"

"No, I don't think it's going to work, I'm just trying to explain to you why I'm such a pain in the ass," he snapped. "It's very difficult for me, I'm not used to talking myself down."

"And I'm supposed to be flattered that you're making the effort to do it for me?" Ruby said, smiling sardonically. "Oh, be still my heart."

"You are impossible," Hook declared, looking up at the sky. "God! I don't know what I was thinking when I took you back!"

"I took you back, asshat!"

"Oh, whatever."

"And now I'm going to un-take-you-back! We're done—again!" She stormed past him, walking faster. Hook let out an exaggerated groan, jogging to catch up to her.

"Fine, we're done—again," he said, falling into step beside her. "But just so you know, I'm probably going to ask you to take me back before the week's out."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "I know."

"And then you're probably going to take me back."

"I know."

"And then you're going to break up with me again."

"I KNOW."

The conversation seemed to end there, with both of them huffing and muttering under their breath about how infuriating the other was, just as before. Except this time, Hook put his arm around her without being told. Ruby didn't shrug it off, or call him an asshat.

They went four whole minutes without fighting.