AND FINALLY, PART C: BELLE'S. PLEASE, HAPPY REVIEWS BECAUSE I NEED TO LOOK CUTE TO GET AWAY WITH STUFF, AND I DON'T LOOK NEARLY AS CUTE WHEN I'M SAD, AND SAD REVIEWS MAKE ME SAD, YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME, WOULD YOU?

Belle carefully zipped the cover over her dress, taking care that the zipper didn't snag on the floaty material. Last thing she needed was a tear in her dress.

The day had been going smoothly enough, but it wasn't without its problems: Granny's catering crew was late; Aurora nearly threw up on her bridesmaid dress because of her morning sickness; and Ruby had texted Rumple twenty minutes ago, saying she might be dropping Hook off late, because she was having a difficult time convincing him to wear his tie.

But other than that, things were coming together. Grace and her friends had already started work on decorating the ball room for the reception, although she was going to have Granny's crew set up the tables and chairs (if they ever arrived). No one called with last-minute flower emergencies, or bad news about the minister; everyone else was apparently arriving to the church on time, and it wasn't like they could start without Belle and Rumple, so if she was a few minutes late…? Meh. Not the worst thing that could happen.

Belled carefully brought her dress down the stairs. She was planning on putting it on in the church, as it was too big to wear in the car with Rumple and Hook and Tink.

"Hey, Tink!" she called to the kitchen. "You want to carry this out to the car for me?"

"Yeah, hang on…"

Tink strolled out of the kitchen a few minutes later, grimacing. "That's some weak-ass coffee," she said, jutting her thumb behind her.

"I know," Belle sighed. "We should have gone to David's for breakfast, he makes great coffee. And pancakes, from what I hear."

Tink raised an eyebrow. "That's random," she said, taking the dress.

"Well, Neal mentioned it the other day," Belle said, enjoying watching Tink flush bright red. As per her request, Belle hadn't said a word to Neal about Tink's near-obsession with him, but that didn't stop her from tormenting Tink.

Tink hurried out the door, either from embarrassment or from needing a blast of icy air to act as a cold shower. Belle shook her head, snorting. She really was a shitty nun. If she could be called a nun at all: somehow, she doubted they were supposed to wear dresses that tight and short.

"You ready, Rumple?" she called, padding into the kitchen. She found him bent over the table, scribbling feverishly. "What's that?"

"Neal said my wedding vows were rubbish, so I'm redoing them," he explained, frowning in concentration. Belle walked over, leaning her chin on his head so she could skim what he'd written.

"Eww… Rumple, you're not actually going to compare my eyes to pools of water, are you?"

"What?" he said, sounding mildly offended. "It's romantic."

"It's so cheesy," she complained. "Just say they're pretty and be done with it."

Rumple huffed, scratching out the line, muttering darkly. Belle tsked sympathetically, giving him a little hug.

"You don't have to stress out about it," she murmured into his shoulder. "Just say some nice things about me, promise to love me, blah blah blah, and you're done."

Rumple sagged. "Are you serious?" he whined, setting down his pencil. "That's all I had to do?"

She laughed. "You've worked hard enough with Archie; you can relax with me."

Rumple had been going to Archie for counseling sessions for two solid years now. He had been working on anger issues, guilt issues, depression issues…. lots of issues. But with a lot of cognitive-behavioral therapy and patience from Archie, he had managed to become a much happier and relaxed person.

Probably the biggest change was weaning him off magic. Rumple hadn't used magic in a year and a half, as it had a nasty habit of getting to his head and inflaming all his emotional insecurities and inner demons. Belle had spent countless hours babysitting him at the library to make sure he didn't so much as turn a card trick, until he had gained enough control over his addiction to be trusted alone.

Right now, the only problem between them was his late-night cereal and Sixty Minutes habit.

The door opened in the front hall, and multiple voices overlapped, echoing off the walls. Belle straightened up, loosening her hold on Rumple.

"That'll be Hook," she said.

"Oh, goody."

"Rumple," she admonished. "He's my mister-of-honor. Be nice."

"That is so strange," Rumple said, shaking his head. "Who has a mister-of-honor?"

"Hey, guys—" Tink popped her head in. "Hook's here. And head's-up, he brought Ruby."

"What?" Belle hissed. Why would he bring Ruby here? "God, can't he just break up with her again?"

Tink shrugged. "She's not so bad, after a while."

"You're only saying that because he keeps her away from Neal," Belle said accusingly. Tink's face turned bright red again.

"I gotta get something outside," she muttered, and disappeared. Rumple shuddered.

"Not going to lie, it really freaks me out when she does that," he said to Belle.

"You should have been there when she saw him in the library," she chuckled. "Oh, God… yeah, that was traumatizing." She clapped her hands on his shoulder. "Okay, you stay here and finish your vows. I'm going to say hi to Hook and his slut girlfriend."

"You mean, Ruby and her slut boyfriend?"

"The two sluts," Belle compromised, going out the door. "I'm going to say hi to the two sluts."

"Oh, that's nice," Hook said, taking a seat on the couch next to Ruby. "What a lovely way to greet someone. Did you hear that, Ruby? We're 'the two sluts'."

Belle smiled sheepishly, the kitchen door closing behind her. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"And yet I did."

She shrugged. "If you don't want to be called a slut, don't be a slut."

"Can we stop talking about this?" Ruby said testily. Hook side-eyed her, his smile fading.

"Right… sorry, love. Forgot."

"Forgot wha—? Oh," Belle said in dawning comprehension. "That thing Snow said in the diner a couple weeks back, I totally forgot…Wow, are you still mad about that?"

Ruby glared at her. "Yes, I am still mad about that," she hissed. "And don't mention that name in front of me."

"It's a stupid name," Hook agreed. "Snow. Absolutely ridiculous."

Belle dropped into Rumple's armchair, putting her feet up. She gave Hook considering look, tilting her head. "Hey, stand up," she said, jutting her chin at him. "Lemme see."

Hook groaned, sagging back against the couch. "I'm too tired."

"Aw, come on," she said, motioning with her hand. "Stand up. Twirl for me, bitch."

"I'm not going to—"

"Twirl!" she commanded.

Hook exhaled impatiently, and pushed himself off the couch into a standing position. "Happy?"

"Aww, you wore something nice…" She smiled, giving the suit a once-over. "Look at you, in your fancy little suit."

"Well, I'm the mister-of-honor, aren't I?" Hook said, rolling his eyes. He dropped back onto the couch. "So, what's the deal? When are we leaving?"

"Soon," Belle yawned. "I'm waiting for Granny's guys to get here so I can let them in." She flicked her eyes at Ruby. "Any idea when they're getting here?"

"I'm not working today," Ruby said, narrowing her eyes at Belle's tone. "So no, I don't have the details."

"Would it make a difference if you were working?" Belle asked dryly. "I wasn't under the impression you do much, either way. At least—" her eyes rested briefly on Hook—"nothing restaurant-related."

Ruby kept her face expressionless, though her nails were digging grooves into wooden armrest. "I'm laughing on the inside," she said flatly.

"I'm laughing on the outside," Hook chuckled, shaking his head. Ruby rolled her eyes.

"So obnoxious," she muttered.

"You're obnoxious," he muttered back.

"Oh, that's mature."

"You're mature."

"All right, children," Tink said, reappearing in the front hall. "Settle down." She looked at Belle, raising her eyebrows. "You ready to go?"

"Waiting for catering guys," Belle explained, getting up from the chair. "Anyone want a coffee while we wait?"

"I do," Hook said, standing up.

"I could go for some coffee," Ruby shrugged.

Tink groaned as she followed them into the kitchen. "But that coffee sucks."

Rumple glanced up from his notecards as they entered the kitchen. "Morning, ladies," he said pleasantly, and gave Hook a curt nod. "Hook."

"Crocodile," Hook nodded.

"I still don't know what that means," Rumple frowned. Hook shrugged, leaning against the counter as he thumbed through his phone.

Belle stood on tiptoe to bring out the mugs, and set them gently on the counter. "Okay, how does everyone like their coffee?" she asked, uncapping the cream.

"Ruby knows my order," Hook said absently. Ruby flicked him in the head.

"Ruby's not working today," she reminded him. She glanced at Belle. "Just enough cream so it's not black. Same for me."

"Oo-ooh," Tink said mockingly, her legs swinging from the counter. "Look at you two, with the same coffee order. Practically married."

"Oh, look, Neal just texted me," Hook said loudly, showing her his phone. Tink snapped her head toward Belle, her eyes wide with fury.

"You TOLD him?"

"Oh, like it was really that hard to figure out!" Belle said scathingly. "You're so obvious about it! I have to keep a bucket close by, just to catch all your drool!"

"You PROMISED!"

"No, I promised I wouldn't tell Neal, I didn't say anything about Hook!"

Tink fumed as Belle went back to preparing coffee. Hook, Ruby, and Rumple looked between the two of them, as if bracing themselves for another outburst; but Tink contented herself with muttering threats under her breath while Belle glared at the streams of coffee she was pouring into cups.

"Here," Belle said, handing two cups to Hook and Ruby. She peered at Tink, who was still glaring at the floor. "Coffee?"

"No, thank you."

"Then you have time to go put your bridesmaid dress on."

"Ooh, that reminds me—" Ruby took a gulp of coffee and set it down, rummaging in her tiny purse for her keys. "I have to go pick up Aurora and what's-her-face—" she snapped her fingers—"Annabel?"

"Ariel."

"Right." Ruby dug out her keys, holding them up triumphantly. "Come on, Tink, you're riding with me. By the way—that coffee sucks."

"Bye," Hook said absently as she and Tink hurried out of the kitchen, frowning as he swirled the contents of his cup. He took a careful sip.

"Blecch!" he gagged, coughing into his elbow. He scooted the cup away from him, making a disgusted face. "God, that coffee sucks."

"You suck," Rumple murmured, not looking up from his notecards.

"Boys," Belle said warningly, leaning against the counter with her own cup."Don't fight—and wow, this coffee sucks." She poured it down the drain, shaking her head and grimacing. "You almost done with those, Rumple?"

"Mmm…" Rumple muttered, tapping his pen against his lips. Hook walked over curiously, frowning at the notecards.

"What are you writing?"

"Wedding vows, get away from me."

Hook didn't move; his mouth opened slightly as he read the vows over Rumple's shoulder. "You know, you can't actually say any of this out loud, mate."

Rumple made a noise like an angry cat and threw his pen down. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Shh," Belle said soothingly, giving Hook an annoyed look. He held up his hands in mock surrender, stepping away from Rumple so Belle could place a comforting arm around his shoulder. "Rumple, it's all right—"

"No, it's not all right," he sighed. "I'm not good at this, Belle. I'm going to humiliate myself in front of the whole town. And you. But mostly myself."

"They're not that bad," Belle lied, glancing over them. "They're actually quite sweet… in their own way."

Rumple moaned in despair, putting his head down on the table. Belle looked up at Hook helplessly, still rubbing soothing circles around Rumple's back; he looked down at Rumple, twitching his mouth to the side indecisively.

"All right, give it here, mate," he said finally, holding out his hand. Rumple lifted his head, looking at Hook incredulously

"Excuse me?"

Hook closed his eyes, as if he couldn't quite believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Give it here, I'll help you."

"Help me? You? With what? I'm not trying to come up with a dirty punchline, I'm writing wedding vows," Rumple said, guarding his notecards.

"Do you know how many romantic speeches I churn out in a week?" He didn't wait for him to answer. "A lot. So, yes, I know what I'm doing."

"Rumple," Belle said softly, placing her hand on his. "He's right, he's kind of got a knack for this stuff. Maybe he can help."

"But…" Rumple looked at her desperately, silently begging her to put a stop to this. "Belle, please… his speeches are so ridiculous. I'm going to look like an idiot."

"You're going to look like an even bigger idiot if you read those," Hook said briskly, pulling out a chair. "Just write down what I say." He cleared his throat. "My dearest Belle…"