THIS IS A LONG-ASS CHAPTER, BUT THIS IS A LONG-ASS STORY. HOPING YOU ALL STILL LOVE READING IT AS MUCH AS I LOVE WRITING IT. OKAY, PEACE OUT.

It was a comfortable noisy: the sound of forks scraping against plates, glasses clinking, voices engaged in conversation, frequent ripples of laughter. There wasn't a lot of room to move around in the diner, as nearly every seat was taken, but David had managed to snag one of the big tables, as his group was the closest thing to an extended family Rumple or Belle had.

Rumple and Belle (who had thankfully changed into a cocktail dress) had crowded their chairs at one end, while David and Snow mimicked them on the other side. Neal sat next to his father, with Regina and Robin next him, Roland balancing on Robin's knee. The seat next to Belle was still vacant and waiting for Hook, but Emma sat next to it, and Henry on her other side.

"It was a beautiful ceremony, Rumple," Snow smiled, picking up her menu. "Your vows were…" Her smile faded. "Clearly inspired."

"Yes, by me," Hook said loudly, pulling out his chair. Rumple raised his eyes to the ceiling at his entrance, but Hook seemed not to notice. He interestedly peered at a menu before tossing it down and looking around at them all, beaming.

"Well?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "What did we think of Rumple's vows, then? Beautifully written? Poetic? Romantic?"

Neal gasped in mock surprise, pointing a finger at him. "You wrote them, didn't you?" he breathed.

The sarcasm was not lost on Hook, and his smile fell flat. "But they were good, weren't they?"

"They were beautiful," Emma said, smiling brightly at him. David frowned as he watched his daughter dance her fingers up the pirate's arm. He nudged Snow, who was also watching with narrowed eyes.

"When did that start happening again?" he muttered.

"I don't know," she said through pursed lips. "I don't like it."

To David's surprise, Hook reached over and gently tugged Emma's hand off him. "Keep your hands to yourself, love. There are children present."

Neal choked on the sip of water he had taken, ducking down as he coughed to clear his throat. He emerged, obviously fighting a smile, which he tried to hide behind his fist.

Emma looked between the two of them, an offended expression souring her features.

David felt an elbow near his ribs, and leaned closer so Snow could whisper in his ear, "I'm confused."

"Yeah, me, too." Hook rejecting a woman's advances? Wasn't that one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

Henry cleared his throat, as if to remind Emma he was sitting right next to her and could she please not flirt in front of him? Emma turned her head slowly, her gaze lingering between the two of them before dragging her eyes to the menu.

David was about to shrug it off as whatever weird drama was going on between Hook, Neal, and Emma this week when he caught Robin looking at Emma with pity in his eyes. David frowned, looking between Emma and Robin. Don't tell me there's Robin drama, too, he thought with a feeling of dread settling in his stomach.

Henry looked up suddenly, his eyes seeing someone past David's head. David half-turned in his seat to follow his gaze: Ruby, coming toward them, smiling widely.

Oh, shit, he thought, remembering Neal telling them about the apparently huge crush Henry had on Ruby. That, coupled with the fact that she was dating Hook—the man Henry considered to be his nemesis—was going to make this uncomfortable.

"Henry," he began in a low voice, reaching out to touch his shoulder; but Henry shrugged away, keeping his eyes down as he stood up.

"I'm going to go say hi to Dr. Whale," he mumbled. Emma looked up at him concernedly.

"You all right, kid?" she asked.

"Fine, just… I'm going to go." He left the table just as Ruby reached them, ducking around her as she opened her mouth. She watched him go, her eyebrows turning up in worry; and turned back around, jutting her thumb behind her.

"What's wrong with Henry?"

David didn't need the nudge from Snow to remind him not to say anything, although that second elbow in the ribs reminded him of yet another tension Ruby's presence would bring: she and Snow were still in the midst of their own personal Cold War.

"He's fine, he does that," Regina said flatly. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it, I'm sure you haven't got much room in there, anyway."

"Oi!" Hook said, affronted. "Let's keep it civil, ladies. This is a happy day," he added, giving Belle a winning smile; Belle stared at him.

"I'm still mad at you," she said flatly. Hook dropped his smile.

"'Course you are," he said irritably.

David rubbed his eyes, feeling the familiar wave of panic that rose up in him every time the family gathered together. So many conflicts, so many arguments threatening to explode…He'd been less anxious facing a dragon or death from dreamshade than facing family gatherings.

"Can we all just…?" He let his sentence trail off, motioning with his hands for everyone to stay quiet. It seemed to work, because Hook turned away from Belle; and Belle went back to chatting with Rumple. David breathed out in relief: maybe he would be able to keep everyone in line today, after all.

Ruby scooted herself past David's chair, nearly tripping over Henry's empty one on her way over to her boyfriend. Hook leaned over, tapping Emma on the shoulder.

"Do us a favor, love, budge over," he said. Emma stared at him for a moment, then looked up at Ruby. Ruby smiled a threatening smile, her hand tracing circles on Hook's arm. Snow breathed in sharply, her fists clenching tightly enough to turn her knuckles white.

Emma scoffed and let out a derisive laugh, shaking her head as she scooted over and allowed Ruby to take her seat. Ruby sat down immediately leaning across the table to talk to Neal about what a pain in the ass Hook had been earlier that morning about his tie.

David watched Emma as Emma looked on with something close to jealousy in her eyes, flinching at their laughter. Even Belle and Rumple seemed to be joining in, Rumple being careful to cough any time Hook said something amusing. Robin and Regina were having a private conversation of their own, exchanging wry smiles and shh!ing gestures.

"Emma," David said quietly. She didn't answer; just continued glaring as Neal laughed at Belle's quip. David tried again, placing his hand on hers. "Emma."

She jumped, whirling her head to look at him. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

"You seem a little off," Snow said, leaning forward concernedly.

Emma plastered a smile on her face. "I'm fine," she said, echoing Henry.

Her tone of voice made it clear that she wasn't going to talk about it, no matter how many concerned looks or sympathetic smiles they sent her way. David exchanged a look with Snow, but sat back, sighing in defeat. Emma would come around eventually; pushing her now would only make her retreat further. And besides, he was too hungry to deal with this right now, he would kill for one of Granny's turkey sandwiches.

"It's all right," Snow said softly, reading his thoughts. "I'll talk to her tonight. We'll eat too much ice cream, talk about feelings, everything will be fine."

"Why do women have to eat ice cream when they're upset?" David mused, frowning at a menu. "Is that a rule?"

"Well, because then you can be upset about gaining weight from the ice cream instead of upset about what made you eat the ice cream in the first place," Snow shrugged. "At least, that's why I do it."

David glanced up, preparing one of his dad jokes in an effort to cheer Emma up, when he caught sight of Robin offering Emma a comforting smile; Regina was also smiling, though as if she wasn't sure if she looked properly sympathetic. Emma nodded a "thanks" at them, and went back to her menu.

So, clearly Robin knew whatever was going on with her; and now Regina knew, too. David anxiously shifted in his seat. He didn't like this. He didn't like not knowing why his daughter was upset. He didn't like watching his grandson skulk off to be miserable on his own. He didn't like seeing Regina be worried sick about Henry, or Robin trying to patch things up, or Neal avoiding Emma, or Snow fight with Ruby. Everything was getting way too tense for his liking, and the panicked feeling was now swelling in his chest. David hated conflict; he hated seeing people cut into each other, spitting negativity and anger and resentment. These stupid family gatherings seemed to be a breeding ground for that.

He shook his head, just praying for the day to go by quickly and without any more drama.

Henry weaved his way through the wooden chairs, turning sideways to avoid some as they pushed back. Dr. Whale was at the back, sitting with a few of his hospital friends, although his mind was definitely somewhere other than Nurse Marge's maternity ward gossip. Henry knew exactly where his mind was, because that was where his own mind was (he wasn't thinking about the sickeningly sweet smile on Ruby's face, because he didn't care, it didn't bother him, he didn't even think about her like that anymore, okay?).

"Dr. Whale," he said, announcing his presence. "Can I talk to you a second?"

Whale glanced at him warily, no doubt remembering the field day Henry'd had this morning.

"It's important."

Whale's brow twitched as he read the seriousness in Henry's expression, and nodded. "Excuse me," he said to his group, then looked at Henry. "Lead the way."

Henry let Whale follow him to a more secluded corner, squeezing his way between Leroy and Walter. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ruby taking a seat next to Hook, and his fists clenched. But he was fine. And he had other problems to worry about, anyway.

"You're nervous about later," Whale said quietly, stating the obvious.

"A bit, yeah," Henry said, pacing as much as he could in the small space. "It's a little hard for me to breathe, I think I'm hyperventilating."

"Deep slow breaths," Whale advised, ever the doctor. "One at a time. Inhale…and exhale."

Henry tried to follow his instructions, but his chest felt tighter with every breath. "This isn't helping. We still have a pet zombie to deal with." He ran his hands through his hair, his eyes darting wildly around. He couldn't think, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't stop moving around, he just wanted everything to be over.

"Just try to relax, okay? You're not doing this by yourself, I can help you—"

"But it's my fault!" Henry said desperately. "What if bringing him back screws everything up? What if my moms start fighting again? What if he gets between my parents? What if they—?"

"Henry, slow down, okay?" Whale took him by the shoulders, giving him a firm look. "This town has dealt with far worse than a nice guy rolling back into town. Is it going to take some adjusting? Sure. Is he going to terrorize us and put us all through hell? No." He dropped his hands and gave Henry a smile. "It'll be fine."

Emma moved her food around her plate, barely touching it. She couldn't eat now. She was too angry. And miserable. And mostly angry, but also a little bit miserable, with a side of fucking angry.

Everything seemed to be unraveling, slipping out of her control. This morning had been bad enough, and the ceremony pure torture (although, that was really more because it was one of the dullest hours she'd ever spent—and she'd been in jail in fucking Arizona for eleven months). But now? Neal was ignoring her. Hook was rejecting her. Ruby was becoming part of the gang. When did it end?

This was exactly what those silent-treatment weeks in October had been: Neal and Hook, banding against her, with Ruby palely imitating her role as the spunky girl in the trio. Emma was supposed to be the spunky girl, not Ruby. And probably the worst thing was the added heartache of wanting Neal back, and him just shrugging her off. And now on top of that, the embarrassment of having told Robin—of all people, Robin! Storybrooke's most notorious gossip, and she'd told him! Of course, two minutes later, he turned around and told Regina, who was now silently judging her harsher than she'd ever been judged. Plus her parents looking at her pityingly, because pity was almost as bad as rejection, in her opinion.

The lunch hadn't been nearly as awkward as it could have been, mostly because she'd kept her mouth shut. Belle seemed to forgive Hook at some point, because halfway through they were nudging each other and laughing at their peculiar inside jokes; Neal and Regina were making sarcastic observations of their surroundings, Hook being the object of most of their jokes. Ruby kept glancing over at her as she continuously repositioned her possessive arm around Hook, as though to reaffirm, Mine. Not yours. MINE; but other than that, even she was taking part in the conversation, randomly tossing out comebacks at Neal and Regina.

"All right," Rumple said, drawing her away from her self-pity-fueled thoughts."We should probably get going. I could make some coffee when we get to the house, if anyone's up for it?"

"No!" several voice said at once.

"I can't join you right away, I have to go back and pick up my cookies," Regina said, rummaging in her purse for her keys.

"Well, me and David can just swing by," Neal offered. "We have to go get his baklava anyway, right?"

"Yeah, Regina, it's right on the way. We can stop by," David agreed, pulling on his coat.

"No, you won't be able to find them," Regina said absently, still searching in her purse. "Robin, do you know what I did with my keys?"

"No," Robin said, still trying to coax Roland into eating another bite of his sandwich.

"Damn it!" Regina bit her lip anxiously, dumping out the contents of her purse. "I need those keys! They've got my car keys, my house keys—"

"They have to be in the diner somewhere," Snow said reasonably. "I mean, you drove here, so they have to be there somewhere."

"Oh, really? I had no idea!" Regina snapped, throwing down her purse angrily. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding the sides of her head as she muttered to herself, trying to remember where she left the keys.

"Okay—you stay here and find your keys. I've still got my copy," Neal said, standing up. "I'll go get your cookies, David will get his baklava, and by the time we come back, you'll have found them."

"No, you won't be able to get them," Regina said frustratedly. "They're in my vault."

"Awesome. I love your vault. It's like the Bat Cave, only cooler." Neal patted her shoulder. "Relax, okay?"

Regina seemed to not hear him as she shoved her hands n her pockets, feeling for her keys. Emma kept her eyes fixed on Regina, flinching as Neal brushed past her on his way out with David. Beside her, Ruby and Hook were murmuring back and forth, every so often letting out a low laugh—one of those laughs. Emma grimaced, feeling the little bit of lunch she'd eaten rise up in her throat.

"Come on, Regina," she said, standing up. "Let's check the bathroom, maybe you dropped them in there when you went to fix your make-up."

"Maybe…" Regina frowned, still checking her pockets as she followed Emma to the bathrooms.

Emma pushed open the door with more force than necessary, a side effect of her temper rising. She closed her eyes, fighting to control it in case she accidentally flared up against Regina and started an argument. That was the last thing she needed right now.

After taking a calming breath, she opened her eyes, casting her gaze around for any little glints of light reflecting off metal. "Here!" she said brightly, pointing to the sink on the far right.

Regina breathed a sigh of relief as Emma turned around and triumphantly presented her with the keys. "Thank God," she sighed, placing them carefully in her purse.

"Well, God didn't find your keys, I did," Emma shrugged, a light smile playing on her face. Joking was good: it helped keep her mind off things. Maybe I should try my hand at stand-up, she thought, reflecting on the ridiculous amount of emotional issues that still weighed on her mind.

Regina gave her half a smile, apparently not thinking she was funny enough to earn a full smile, and turned to leave. Her hand was just grasping the handle when Emma said, "Regina, wait."

Regina turned, raising her eyebrows quizzically. "What?"

Emma knocked her fists together, biting her lip. It was so awkward, and Regina was probably going to look at her like she was a crazy person, but… she had no one else to talk to right now. "Do you think we could hang back for a minute? For some…" She closed, bracing her for the laughter. "For some girl talk?"

"Girl talk?" Regina repeated dubiously. "Emma, I'm really not—"

"Please?"

Regina looked at her for a long time, then raised her gaze to ceiling and let out a heavy sigh. "Fine," she said reluctantly, letting go of the handle. "Let's—" she waved her hand—"girl-talk."

Emma leaned against the wall, folding her arms. "I, uh…" She looked at the floor, unable to meet Regina's eyes. "I think I might have feelings for Neal."

"Oh, Christ," Regina muttered; Emma could hear her rolling her eyes, and she looked up defensively.

"What?"

"What are you, fourteen?" Regina said derisively. "Don't you ever get tired of this? Jesus Christ, Emma!"

"Hey!" she snapped. "I asked you for girl-talk, not a lecture!"

"This is how I girl-talk."

Emma rolled her eyes, scoffing. "I should have talked to Robin," she muttered, folding her arms.

"Actually, you should have. He's better at this than I am."

Emma glared at the floor. The truth was, she really didn't want to talk to Robin. He'd been sympathetic in the church, immediately picking up on the fact that something was bothering her; two seconds later, everything was spilling out, and he was so nice about it… But he was a guy. He just didn't understand it, the way another woman would have.

She couldn't talk to her mom, because…talking about her love life? With her mom? Okay, NO.

Ruby was out of the question, for obvious reasons.

And that left Regina. Whose version of girl-talk was more like the motivational speech from hell.

"Emma…" Regina made an impatient noise, and took a few steps toward her. "You're acting like a kid right now. And you can't afford to do that, because you've got a kid of your own, and he's struggling. You don't have time to worry about which guy you think is cuter, or whether or not he like likes you, or who's crushing on who. You had eighteen years to get that out of your system—it's over." Regina poked her in the shoulder. "Got it?"

"Yeah," Emma muttered, barely audible.

"What was that?" Regina cupped her hand around her ear, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"I said, yeah," Emma repeated in a louder voice, dropping her arms. She knew Regina was right, but…damn it! Why did Regina have to be right?

Regina offered her a strained smile (probably the closest she could manage to comforting) as Emma followed her out of the bathroom and back to the table.

"That dress, though," Regina said in a low voice as they maneuvered the maze of chairs and tables. "If that wasn't the silliest—"

She froze as her eyes landed on Neal and David, stepping back into the diner. Emma raised an eyebrow, looking between Regina and the two men. "Something wrong?"

Regina's eyes were wider than she'd ever seen them; she raised a shaking finger, pointing at Neal. "My cookies," she breathed, sounding petrified. "How did he get them?"

Emma raised her eyebrows. "I kind of feel like you're overreacting." She put a hand on Regina's shoulder, shaking it slightly. "It's okay. They're only cookies."

"No, no, you don't understand!" Regina started hyperventilating. "He can't have—I…I sealed it, I know I sealed it this morning. I'm positive!"

"Regina? Hey—" Emma took her by the shoulders, leading her to an a empty chair. By this time, everyone else had looked over, frowning concernedly as they noticed Regina turning white as a sheet.

"What's the matter?" Snow asked, coming over.

"You don't look well at all, love," Hook frowned.

"You want some water?" Ruby offered.

"I swear, I only ate one," Neal said quickly, holding his hands up in surrender.

Regina gaped at him, her mouth falling open."How?" she whispered, her voice sounding more high-pitched than usual. "How did you get through?"

"Get through what?" Neal frowned, coming closer. He handed the plate to Belle, sidestepping past Hook and Ruby to stand in front of Regina. "Jesus, Regina, I thought you got upset about the keys, but this? This is getting a little ridiculous." He looked over at David. "I think we're talking 'disorder' at this point."

"I am not fucking around here, Neal!" Regina whisper-shouted through clenched teeth. "How did you get into my vault?"

Neal stared at her for a moment before raising his eyebrows. "The door," he said with as much sarcasm as he could muster. "What did you think, I just materialized in there? I used the door."

"But that's impossible."

Neal narrowed his eyes. "Are you implying that I'm too stupid to be able to figure out a door? Because the 'dumb hobo' comments are starting to hurt."

"It's impossible because I put a blood seal around my vault," Regina hissed. "The only way you'd be able to enter is if…"

Neal paled, his eyes widening almost more than Regina's. Emma frowned, looking between the two of them. When did cookies and doors provoke such drama?

"Guys?" she asked, swiveling her head back and forth. "What's going on? I'm lost."

"Blood magic," Neal breathed. "It's… I…"

"The only person who could get past my blood seal is someone with my blood," Regina said, trembling.

Emma's eyebrows flew up. "So, you mean…" She whirled her head to stare at Neal. "You and Regina are related?"

"Must be," he said, looking sick.

"But how?" Emma asked breathlessly. "How is this even possible?"

"I don't know, I…" Regina went rigid, her nails digging into the chair tight enough to turn her knuckles white. She looked up at Neal, her eyes widened in horror. "My mother…. Rumplestiltskin…"

Neal's head whipped around. "Dad?" he croaked.

Rumple stared back, looking ready to faint. "Yeah?" he said, his voice cracking.

Regina's bottom lip trembled as she opened her mouth. "…Dad?" she whispered.

Rumple looked at her with wide, petrified eyes. Emma waited, seeing his mouth open as he struggled to force his voice out: it came out high-pitched, cracking, breathless: "Yeah?"

WELL?