Aftermath

Chapter 7

Cora was late getting to bed that night because Patrick had been fussy. She could see the light seeping from under Robert's door. More than anything, she missed sleeping next to him. She missed the late-night talks and the way his arm would wrap around her in his sleep. She knew her marriage had not been a normal one. It had been happy, for the most part; and she was luckier than most women of her generation and class. Cora wasn't even sure what propelled her, but she knocked on Robert's bedroom door. She was shocked when he answered it.

"Cora? Did you need something?" Robert asked.

"I…just wanted to wish you a good night." Cora said.

"Are you sure that's all you needed? You're up awfully late." Robert said.

"Patrick was fussy, and I seen that your light was on." Cora said.

"Will you stay on here? After the christening? I'm sure Edith could use the help." Robert asked.

"I don't know. Mama wants me to go back to America and I know I can't stay in Grantham House forever." Cora said sadly. Robert grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the room with him, shutting the door behind her.

"I didn't want to wake everyone. Why don't you sit?" Robert said as he guided her onto a bench at the end of his bed. Cora had been crying since he had asked her if she was staying on at Brancaster.

"I should go back to my room. You don't want me in here." Cora said.

"No, sit. You're upset." Robert said. He sat down next to her and held her hands. For a moment, it made Cora remember how comforting he always was.

"I don't know why that question bothered me so. I just…I don't know what to do next. I thought I would be at Downton for the rest of my life." Cora said. She was completely shocked when Robert pulled her into a hug. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. "I'm sorry, this was not appropriate. I just don't even know how to act anymore." Cora said as she pulled away.

"I don't either. Murray has suggested a long-term separation, not a divorce." Robert said.

"I'm sure that Mary hates that." Cora said angrily. She loved her daughter, but she didn't always like her very much.

"I've not told her everything. Cora, tell me what you want? I've not asked you." Robert said. Cora had stood up and was pacing around nervously.

"I hate being separated and I hate the idea of a divorce. Robert, I was never intimate with that man. You are the only man I've ever touched or even kissed. I agree that I allowed him familiarities I shouldn't have, but I never did that." Cora said.

"I know that, and I should have not believed him. I also did not…do that with Jane. Like you, I allowed familiarities that I shouldn't have, and I would have probably taken her a mistress, but I didn't ever. We weren't in the best place in our marriage back then." Robert admitted.

"So, what now?" Cora asked.

"I don't know. I really do not know what to do next." Robert said. He pulled her back down to sit on the bench next to him.

"Is there any version of this that we stay married…and together? Not like this." Cora asked.

"Is that what you want?" Robert asked back.

"I do, but I don't know how. There is no way I would be allowed back in Downton, and you wouldn't live elsewhere." Cora said.

"Mary forgets that I am not dead yet. Downton is not solely her's yet and even when I am dead, it will be George's." Robert said.

"I will not cause problems with Mary. It hurts what she said and did, but I will not cause a huge argument with her." Cora said.

"I know that. She needs put in her place. You saved her from many scandals, as did I. Her memory is entirely too short. Now, another question, have you not been sleeping well?" Robert asked.

"No, I haven't slept well for six months." Cora admitted.

"Or ate well, either." Robert said as he stood up.

"Why?" Cora asked.

"Why don't you go put your nightgown on and come back in here. Just to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well either." Robert suggested. Cora was shocked, but it was a nice suggestion.

"Are you certain?" Cora asked.

"I am." Robert told her.

"I'll just be a moment." Cora said. She left the room, crossed into her own room, changed into her nightgown and robe, and walked back into Robert's room. He had already taken his robe off and Cora followed suite. As soon as she climbed into bed next to Robert, she felt completely relaxed. More so than she had been in months. The lights were shut off and Robert wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

"Just relax. Don't worry about Mary or what anyone thinks. Just sleep." Robert told her. It didn't take either of them very long to fall asleep and it was the deepest Cora had slept in months.