The Birds Who Smile, a Batman fanfic by Raberba girl
Chapter 29 - Fellow Survivors (part 2)
[rough draft 2]
"Harley," Bruce said, "if something happened to your daughter, you need to go to the police."
Her face twisted. "I'm Harley Quinn. You think the GCPD can handle bad guys I can't?"
She had a point. "I'm not promising anything, Harley," he said, "but I'll take whatever information you have and pass it on to Batman." He opened the gate and then immediately called Tim while Harley was making her way up the drive. John was quiet now so that he could concentrate more on trying to struggle free, without success. Tim's phone went straight to voicemail, which meant he was either focusing on urgent business or his phone had been destroyed. Bruce hoped it was the former.
Harley parked her motorcycle at the foot of the front steps, rushed up to the door, and pounded on it. There was no answer except for a clacking sound where the latch was, and when she tried it, the door swung open. She started to storm inside, then slowed and stared around in surprise until she reached where a disheveled Bruce Wayne was kneeling on the floor, keeping a very angry kid pinned with one arm and as he helplessly poked at his phone with the other.
"This place looks like a loony bin," Harley remarked.
"Just tell me the details and go."
John went still and stared at the newcomer, eyes widening when she flashed a brief, shark-like smile at him. She looked back at Bruce and flicked out a flash drive, waving it in two fingers. "Everythin's on here, phone calls, threats an' demands, all the dirt I dug up on 'em, everythin' I remember about 'em from the old days."
Bruce eyed John warily before reaching out to take the drive. "How long has-" he just barely stopped himself from saying the little girl's name, since it wasn't something that 'Bruce Wayne' would know, "-she been missing?"
Harley's voice softened miserably. "They grabbed her at school yesterday, at recess, an' no one told Delia 'til she came to pick her up. She called me an' I tracked down a minion 'fore I even got the first video, aaaaan'..." She twirled the end of a pigtail in her fingers in a show of childish sheepishness, "Mighta been a li'l enthusiastic with my interrogatin'."
"Did you kill them?" Bruce snapped, not even realizing it was in Batman's harsh tone until he felt John shudder.
Harley didn't seem to notice the slip-up. "Nah, Kitty stopped me, reminded me I didn't need Batman on my tail on toppa everythin' else."
' 'Kitty'?' He couldn't ask, since, unlike Batman, Bruce Wayne wouldn't have any particular interest in Harley Quinn's companions. "Harley. Listen. I promise I will get this information to Batman, but there might be a delay in any action." It depended on how long it took him to get ahold of Tim, since Red Robin was the only available Bat in town whom Bruce trusted to successfully complete a solo mission against Quinn-level adversaries. He didn't want to pull Cassandra away from the brownstone if there was another option, Batgirl was currently occupied with a mission of her own, and Batwoman would save the child but might mishandle her mother. Bruce much preferred not to unnecessarily antagonize or alienate Quinn.
Harley's eyes narrowed. "What, Bats is still asleep in his coffin? Then wake him up, Wayne. This is my daughter we're talkin' about."
"Yes, Harleen," Bruce said through gritted teeth, "and this is my son. My deeply disturbed son with special needs whom I have no other caretaker for during the time it will take me to brief Batman. I'm trying to get through to Red Robin as we speak, but until I can reach him, unless you want to get the police involved, you'll have to wait."
"I'll watch the kid! He'll be safe, just go get Lucy!"
"I can't leave him with you! I want to, I'm worried about Lucy, too, but I CAN'T, Harley!" No matter how straight Harley had gone now, no matter what else he might be able to bring himself to trust her with, he could not leave the safety of one of his most vulnerable children in the hands of Harley Quinn. "He won't eat or sleep or even use the damn toilet, he constantly tries to hurt or kill himself when he's not literally trying to kill me, he outlasted the patience of all the best people I know, I can't leave him alone with you."
"Maybe you can try Arkham For Kids, sounds like he'd fit in great there," she sneered, obviously still bitter about her own time in Arkham. Then she looked at John again, who had been surprisingly quiet and non-violent all this time, his eyes fixed on the woman with chalk-white skin. "What's wrong with him, anyway?"
"I would think you'd understand better than most what he endured as a captive of a sadistic psychopath with the mind of the Joker."
Harley squatted to get a better look at the boy. "Huh." John hissed at her, and she grinned in response.
Catwoman came storming in at that moment. "This is not what I meant, Harley!"
"We weren't gonna get any further on our own!" Harley yelled back. "This is Lucy at stake! If I hafta crawl on my knees to Bats to get her home safe, then that's what I'm gonna do!"
Catwoman glared at Bruce, then tilted her head in confusion. "Is that...John?" The boy started squirming again. "What are you doing to him?"
"Kid's certifiable, so now Wayne won't leave him for the five minutes it'll take to call up Bats on his super-secret Bat Phone," Harley supplied.
"I am not leaving my nine-year-old son alone with his abuser's ex-girlfriend," Bruce growled.
Harley held up a finger. "Hey, Mistah B was fucked up even for me. I like fun-murdery-crazy, not rabid-kids-on-leashes-crazy."
"Doesn't matter. I'm not leaving him alone with you."
Harley suddenly looked calculating. "Except...he won't be alone with me if Kitty stays."
"No," Bruce and Catwoman said in unison.
There was a very long pause. John bent his head and closed his jaws around Bruce's arm. The blunt teeth, mouth guard, and armor meant he couldn't pierce skin, but he was certainly trying.
Harley's phone suddenly emitted an ugly ringtone, and she snatched it up and answered in a way that made it clear that the caller was using vidchat. "If you hurt her," Harley said, a slight tremor in her voice, "ain't nothin' stoppin' me from feedin' ya your own entrails 'fore I mash your brains out through your eye sockets."
The voice, spoken through a harsh modulator, replied derisively. A minute later, Harley's face crumpled. "Lucy! Don' worry, baby, Auntie Harley's comin' for ya, just hang on-"
"O-okay, Aunt Harley... I want my mom..."
"I know, honey, just hang on, I'm bringin' out the big guns for ya, darlin'."
"I-" The child's voice cut off with a cry.
"YOU BASTARD!" Harley screeched, her face now twisted with rage. "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' TOUCH HER!" John, frightened, was now struggling to get away rather than attack, and Bruce let him go. The boy ran to crouch in a corner. Catwoman had set a hand on her friend's shoulder and was now watching Harley's phone screen with a grim set to her mouth.
"You got six more hours. Time's ticking," the modulated voice said ruthlessly, then the call ended. Harley thrust her phone at Catwoman, then strode, screaming, to the nearest wall and punched it so hard the padding was knocked down. Bruce was pretty sure she would have punched the wall even if it hadn't had any padding at all.
He was shaking a little with anger at the people who had taken Lucy. Even though he hadn't seen the video, just the sound of the fear in that little girl's voice had twisted his heart. He looked up at the women.
"I'll watch John," Catwoman said. "I'll stay with him and Harley. Go- Go call Batman."
Bruce was silent for a long moment.
"Please," Harley begged. "I promise, I promise I won't hurt him. I have a baby, too, I'd never hurt yours. If they hurt her, I'll- I won't die die, but you don' wanna see me when I'm grievin' my daughter with nothin' to lose."
Such a thing would have dire consequences for the entire city.
Bruce shut his eyes. He trusted Selina with many things, but not everything. He knew that she was a good woman at heart and that she would never hurt a child, but still...to leave the most deeply wounded of his small birds all alone with no one but two criminals to keep him safe, when even Bruce's own family hadn't been able to handle him...
"Kitten." Bruce looked up to find Selina crouching near the corner, crooning to a wary John. "Come here, sweetheart. Don't you remember me?" She lowered her mask. "It's Selina. Catwoman. We had a good visit last time, didn't we? You let me pet Alfred."
"...Kill him."
"Maybe later, kitten, but right now he has to make a very important phone call."
John looked at Bruce. "I hate you."
Bruce looked back at John. The boy was currently not screaming, trying to hurt himself, or trying to hurt anyone else. "Selina," Bruce said. She looked at him. "He's my son." He was still on his knees. The desperate plea was clear in his voice and eyes, as was the threat.
"He'll be safe, Bruce."
Bruce looked at Harley. "He is my son."
She met his gaze squarely. "She's my daughter."
Bruce slowly got to his feet. "There's a...manual. Let me..." He tapped at his phone to send the document to Selina's. Halfway through, John charged at him; Bruce blocked him with one arm. John tried a few more thwarted strikes, then kicked him in the crotch. Harley applauded. Bruce, who'd included a cup along with the armor under his clothes, simply grimaced, braced his back foot to keep his balance, and continued typing, adding a couple of last-minute details.
He sent the message and then caught John's arm. "I'm leaving."
"crow!"
"I will probably be gone all night. No matter how much you call for me, I will not come. Selina and Harley will stay here and keep you safe. If they do not keep you safe, I will rescue you and make you safe again. Do not hurt them for no reason. Do you understand, John?"
"crow"
Bruce looked up at the women and narrowed his eyes. "If anything goes wrong, I will know."
"Wow, yanno who ya remind me of? Batman! Sound just like him," Harley said brightly.
Bruce didn't have any good way to vent his anger and anxiety, so he left.
John frowned after where he had gone. Harley studied him. Selina looked at her phone and started scrolling through the long document Bruce had sent her, brow furrowed incredulously and lips moving silently as she skim-read.
"I just realized I haven't eaten anythin' in ten hours," Harley announced. She strode over to the kitchen, not noticing John trail after her. She managed to figure out the child-lock and then started digging through the refrigerator. "Ooohh, are these homemade?" She pulled out the dish and stuck it in the microwave for a minute or two, then brought it over to the table.
John stopped a couple of feet away and stared at her. Harley stared back in a challenging way as she munched on a potato wedge.
After a minute, John reached out to steal a bit of potato off her plate. She snapped her teeth at his mittened fingers; he jerked his hand back and hissed. They stared at each other a minute longer.
This time, he reached more slowly, hand hovering near the plate rather than grabbing. "Pppeess."
She shrugged. "Yeah, sure, why not. Here." He flinched at the small knife she pulled out, but all she did was gently cut the tape and then remove the mittens. While she was at it, she cut the plastic off, too. She tugged the mouth guard free as well, picked up her burger, and pushed the plate of potatoes and salad closer to John. They continued to watch each other as they ate steadily.
"So~ what kinda things do ya like, kid?"
"..."
"Trucks? Ballerinas? My Lucy likes both a' those."
He reached up and grasped her pink pigtail, holding onto it as he continued to eat.
"They called ya 'John' earlier. Bats isn't very imaginative, is he."
"crow" John said softly, letting go of her hair again.
"Mistah B really did a number on ya, huh."
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..."
"Ya know it's always weird to hear that kinda laugh out loud? Heard it so much when we were datin', I hear it alla time in my head now, like tinnitus."
John tilted his head curiously.
"Or maybe it was the drugs that did that, or the brainwashin'." She shrugged. "He did so much shit to me, I can't keep it all straight."
"...Hhhellllo, sswwwee'tt bbbir'dd," John whispered. "Gggotta nnnew ggame..."
"Lucky little bastard."
John stared.
"He actually paid attention to ya, huh. You were his favorite pet an' everything."
"He hurt me."
"He hurts everyone, Johnny. That's what he does. He hurt you by makin' ya his favorite, he hurt me by always shovin' me aside." She fingered the boy's leash scars. "You know what I woulda given for some a' this kinky shit? No matter how I made myself up or what I said, no matter what I did, he never really wanted me. No matter how much I begged for his attention, he never gave me a second glance. I left him for a year to have our baby, an' he didn't even notice."
"You leave come back?" John realized incredulously.
"He was my sunshine, back then. Of course I came back."
"You're crazy."
"Never said I wasn't." She licked the grease off her fingers and stood up. "I can't sit on my butt worryin' all night. Let's blow this joint, little birdie." She took John's hand, and he trotted after her as she strode to the front door.
"Harley," Selina called absently, now just scrolling without even reading as she tried to figure out how ridiculously long this Robin Manual was, "I'm gonna go look for his elephant."
"Sure thing, Kitty!" They practically ran down the steps in their excitement. John was already conveniently wearing a helmet; Harley dug goggles and a safety harness out of a compartment on her motorcycle, usually used to transport friends who were too injured or too drunk to be trusted to hold onto her the entire way home. She gave John a quick safety lesson about what parts of the bike to avoid, then got them both settled in the harness and on the vehicle.
Inside the house, Selina's head shot up when she heard the sound of a revving motorcycle. She rushed to the closest window, swore explosively, and scrambled down the stairs and across Bruce's stupidly enormous house to get to her own ride, but by then, Harley and John were out of sight, giving no clue to where they'd gone.
TBC
A/N: I see way too many fics that mention motorcycle-riding characters bringing children along on their bikes in completely unsafe ways (for example, passengers should not be in front of the driver). Best article I found for how to safely ride on a motorcycle with a child is here: riding-motorcycles-with-child-passengers
In this fic, the helmet John is wearing is NOT good enough to fully protect him in the event of a motorcycle crash, but at least he is wearing one that fits (adult-size helmets will fly right off a child wearer in the event of a crash). He's also lacking in other protective clothing and gear, and I'm not sure how much the size of the safety harness is an issue. Anyway, if you're going to bring a kid on a motorcycle, you need adequate safety measures. Conveniently for me, a motorcycle harness or belt happens to be the only transportation restraint that the birds don't have a huge problem with, since it binds them to a person in the open outdoors rather than to a surface in an enclosed vehicle.
I really like some versions of Harley Quinn (what I've read of her Rebirth series; Injustice after Joker dies; White Knight - basically all the ones where she's got a good heart buried beneath the gray morals and the crazy). Harley's skin is bleached white in some continuities and it's just makeup in others, but I don't know which one it is in Rebirth. I'm gonna go with bleached for this.
Harley's daughter Lucy is from the Injustice universe (Harley left Joker for a year to have their baby in secret, only to discover upon her return that Joker didn't even notice she'd been gone, much less that she'd been pregnant. Lucy is adopted by Harley's sister Delia and doesn't know that Harley is her biological mother until she's kidnapped in the sequel), but I love the concept so much that I've taken it as my headcanon. I've had Harley's TBWS subplot floating in my notes for a long time. In the original version of John vs. Bruce, it went straight from that scene where John stabs Bruce to the conclusion. However, I realized at one point that I needed a better transition, and then Harley was like, "Ooh, ooh, I can help ya with that!" So I was glad to both find a home for her subplot and fix the JvB problem.
I headcanon that Harley and Ivy know that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but they have reasons to keep his secret. Bruce doesn't yet know that they know, but Selina probably does.