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By the time they left for Graham's, Hook was buzzed enough to be agreeable, but not enough to be overly talkative: ideal conditions. Emma was rather proud of herself, having carefully monitored his alcohol intake to get him to the precise degree of drunkenness that would keep him on his best behavior.

Snow had carefully kept her comments to herself, in a rare moment of consideration for him, while David had avoided the subject altogether, trying to keep the conversation light and cheerful as they drove to the house. Emma only half-listened, sitting with the French-dessert-thing on her lap (she couldn't pronounce the name, but David had spent at least ten minutes trying to teach them). Hook hummed softly under his breath, a small smile on his face.

"…and to this very day," David was saying as they pulled up, "I have never tried to mix vodka into a cupcake."

"Should have tried rum," Hook said pleasantly, allowing Emma to lean over and open his door for him (he was having a bit of trouble grasping the handle). "Rum is good, I like rum—what's this?" he asked as Emma handed him the platter.

"Just hold it, so I can get out of the car," she explained. Hook waited obediently as she got out of the car, and walked around to the other side to take the platter from him.

"Thanks, love," Hook said, taking her proffered elbow to lean on. "I'm still a bit wobbly."

Emma opened her mouth, smiling, but the words died in her throat as she saw Regina's car pull up. The door opened, and Henry got out, laughing at something. His smile faded when he saw Emma, but he offered a polite nod, a sort of I'm-still-cross-but-I'm-not-quite-as-angry nod. Emma smiled back, feeling relieved. Well, at least he didn't seem to hate her anymore.

"Emma, come on, I'm freezing," Hook complained, tugging her elbow. "Can we go?"

"Yeah, fine," she said, shaking her head to clear it.

"Ruby's car here yet?" he asked in a low voice as they went up the walkway. Emma glanced around.

"Doesn't look like it."

"Good," he breathed. "Think I might need a bit more rum first."

"I don't know about that," she said, catching him as he tripped over his feet. She frowned at him suspiciously as he let out a breathy little laugh. "Did you sneak a few sips in the car?"

"Drained the whole bloody thing," he said proudly. Emma stopped, staring at him with wide, horror-filled eyes.

"The whole thing?"

"The whole bloody thing," he repeated, smiling widely.

"How full was it?"

"To the tippity-tip-top."

Emma felt her stomach drop. Drunk Hook was a bit of a wild card: he could be angry and unruly; he could be sad and weeping; he could be exuberant and over-affectionate. Whatever he was, it usually ended in public humiliation for him and anyone involved. It was already going to be painfully awkward with everyone in the same room; now she had to deal with this?

"Why would you do this to me?" she said, shaking her head. "I can't worry about this right now, why are you doing this to me? Do you hate me?"

"Emma," Hook said in a hurt voice. "Of course I don't hate you. I bloody love you." He looked over his shoulder, breaking into a huge smile. "And Neal. Neal, I bloody love you, mate!"

"I know you do," Neal's amused voice said, coming up behind them. Emma turned around, swallowing against her dry throat. Neal offered her a brisk smile, then turned his attention to Hook, smiling a little more warmly.

"So, you're already wasted," he said cheerfully.

"He drank his entire flask in the car," Emma said, earning a side-eyed glance from him. "I didn't know how much he had left in there, I didn't think to take it off him, but…" She sighed. "Apparently, there was enough for this."

"You are putting me in a room with Ruby and Graham, for several hours," Hook told her, struggling to stay upright. "I needed something to brace my nerves."

"That's why I let you drink at the loft," Emma said crossly. "You promised me you wouldn't drink anymore after that."

"Yes, darling, I lied," Hook told her, huffing impatiently. "Bit obvious, isn't it?"

Emma looked at Neal helplessly. "I honestly didn't know, I thought he was just a little buzzed. He tricked me."

"Probably should have seen that coming, Em," Neal said, lifting the wrapper of the platter and frowning down at it. "What's that?"

"Something French, I don't know."

Neal looked at it dubiously. "It looks very poofy."

"Egg whites."

"Ah, yeah…Egg whites."

They stood there until it became unbearably awkward, with only Hook's little mutterings of "I think I'd like some more rum" to break the silence. Neal finally cleared his throat.

"We should probably get inside and join everybody," he said.

"Yeah," Emma said, nodding profusely. "It's cold out here."

"Quite," Hook agreed. "Plus, I think I need to sit down. I may have over-prepared myself for Ruby and Graham."

"Just a bit," Neal said, raising an eyebrow as Hook swayed on his feet. "Come on, let's go."

They went up the rest of the walkway, balancing Hook between them. Neal didn't say anything else to Emma, but it didn't seem to be an angry silence: more of an awkward silence, as if he wasn't quite sure how to talk to her.

Neal knocked on the door, keeping a firm grip on Hook's elbow so Emma could hold the platter. A minute later, it swung open, Graham beaming at them.

"There you are!" he said delightedly, ushering them inside. "We were wondering where you lot got to!"

"This is for you," Emma smiled at him, holding out the platter. Graham took it, smiling back brightly.

"Oh, this looks lovely," he said, lifting the foil. "Thank you."

"David made it," she shrugged.

"I'll just go set this down. Victor!" Graham called, making his way into the kitchen. "Take their coats, will you?"

Whale emerged from the family room, offering a brisk smile and a nod of greeting. "Just toss me your coats, I'll put them upstairs."

"Thanks, man," Neal said, shrugging off his coat. Emma followed suit and, after an elbow to the ribs from her, so did Hook. Neal frowned as Hook passed his coat over, his eyes zeroing in on the scarf still wrapped around Hook's neck.

"Is that…mine?" he asked, pointing to it.

"It is most certainly is," Hook grinned, patting his shoulder. "I've taken the liberty of adopting this scarf. It's now mine."

Neal stared at him for a moment. "You're a strange man."

"Yes, and I really need to sit down," Hook whispered, hanging his arms between the two of them. "I really overdid it with the rum, I think. I'm usually not this drunk till it's a bit darker out."

"Couch is over there," Whale said, pointing with his free hand. "And I can make you some coffee, if you like. Sober you up a bit."

"Probably a good idea," Hook said, stumbling against Neal. "I haven't quite reached dangerous territory, but I think a few glasses of wine might put me over the edge."

Whale considered him, a thoughtful frown on his face. "I think you might be an alcoholic."

"Oh, that's the least of my worries," Hook said cheerfully. "I think I also use sex as a coping mechanism, which seems a little disturbed."

Whale's eyebrows shot up. "It does. Thanks for sharing."

"Most welcome, sir," Hook said over his shoulder as Neal and Emma guided him to the couch. "Most welcome."

They set him down on the couch, Neal taking the seat beside him. Emma put her hands on her hips, looking down at them.

"We're going to have to watch him," she told Neal. "He was pretty upset this afternoon, I don't want him to embarrass himself in front of Ruby later."

"Yeah."

The others started to filter into the family room, Robin all bent over to hold Roland's hand. Henry dropped into the armchair with an air of familiarity, hanging his legs over one of the arms as he pointed the remote at the television.

"They're already showing Christmas movies," he announced to the room, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Anyone want to watch The Mistletoe Miracle?"

"Not really," Emma said, perching herself on the armrest next to Neal. He glanced at her warily, not saying anything. Emma frowned. "What?"

"You know what," he said expressionlessly, directing his attention toward The Mistletoe Miracle.

Emma glared at him, then slowly turned her head back toward the screen. She knew she didn't have much business getting upset, but fuck it, she couldn't help it. Her nerves were already shot, thinking about everything that could go wrong today; this just made everything worse.

"Okay," Graham said, walking into the room with a appetizer platter. "So coffee's on, for whoever's interested, and I've got some crackers and cheese here…and some vegetables and dip, help yourselves."

He set the platter down on the coffee table, and straightened up, clapping his hands together. "I think we're still waiting on a few more people, but can I get anyone anything?"

"Is it too early to open a bottle of wine?" Emma asked dryly. Graham smiled.

"I think we could arrange that. Although the turkey will only be another hour if you want to wait…?"

"Mmmm…." Emma tilted her hand back and forth indecisively. "I think now would actually be good."

"Okay," Graham shrugged. "Sure, I could open a bottle of red. Anyone else?"

"Don't let me have any," Hook told Neal in a loud whisper as David and Regina raised their hands.

Graham's smile tensed when his eyes fell on Regina, but he nodded his head, and turned to walk back into the kitchen. Emma glanced over at Regina curiously: her jaw was tight, but other than that, her face was expressionless. Looks like everyone's going to have a fun day.

By the time wine glasses had been passed around, everyone had started to take a bizarre fascination in The Mistletoe Miracle. It was one of those laughably bad Christmas movies, where you can't quite believe you're watching it, and yet you can't look away. The script was poorly written, the acting dreadful, and the music was campy to the point of physical nausea…and yet, everyone felt compelled to keep watching.

"It's so strange," Regina whispered, watching some Lifetime-movie-reject warn everyone about the magic of mistletoes (apparently, they cast a Christmas love spell!). "And yet…"

"I need to see how it ends," Robin finished in a hushed tone.

"It's literally the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life," Henry said in wonder. "But it's so …brilliantly stupid. I mean, you need a stroke of genius to reach this level of stupid."

The doorbell rang, startling everyone out of their reverie.

"I'll get it," Graham said from his place against the wall.

"'Kay…" everyone droned, getting slowly sucked back into The Mistletoe Miracle. No one even glanced up as the door swung open and Graham joined in a round of enthusiastic "Hi! How are you?"'s. But then Ruby's voice—loud, as ever—said, "Where is everybody?"

Emma immediately looked to Hook, who had turned pale and wide-eyed, shrinking back against the couch.

"Pretend I'm not here!" he whispered.

"She's going to be able to see you," Neal whispered back. "Just act normal, pretend you don't even see her."

"He's right," Emma said, leaning forward to join in. "I mean, look how well that worked when Neal did it to me."

Neal shot her an angry look. "Don't."

"Don't what?" she challenged, not caring as her voice rose a little or as a few heads turned their way. "You can't just ignore me, Neal. It doesn't work like that. We're all adults, we all understand—well, we're all supposed to understand—that relationships get messy and tangled and sometimes you have to deal with shit the comes out of nowhere. You can't keep punishing me for that."

"Punishing you?" Neal repeated incredulously, earning a few more wide-eyed looks as Graham reentered the room with Ruby and Granny. "Oh, right, because you're the victim, you're always the victim, the entire world is only beating up on Emma Swan, and all she can do is be tough and push back! Well, we're all very impressed, okay? So just grab your gold medal, take a bow, and get off stage."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Emma demanded, standing up.

"Guys…" Robin said quietly.

"It means, you're not the only one who's had a tough life, Emma!" Neal shouted, standing up to match her glare. "You're not the only who's been abandoned and left to fend for yourself! You're not the only one who's had their heart broken! You're just the only one who walks around like she deserves special treatment for it!"

"I never asked for special treatment!" Emma spat. "Maybe a little extra understanding from you since you're the one who did it to me in the first place!"

Neal's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Are you actually blaming me for you growing up in the foster system? Are you fucking kidding me? You can't blame me for everything!"

"No, but I can blame you for sending me to jail!" she shot back. "Leaving me alone and pregnant, holding one of your stupid stolen watches, and getting picked up by the police when I was eighteen years old!"

"Oh, my God, how many times do we have to go through this? I told you—"

"What, that August made you do it? Yeah, sure, I'm always blaming someone else!"

"He did, and you fucking know it!" Neal said furiously. "He knew everything, Emma! What was I supposed to do?"

"Not leave," she hissed. "You were supposed to not leave, no matter what a random lunatic told you."

"Who didn't turn out to be a lunatic, did he?" Neal countered, glowering at her. "Because if I hadn't made the right judgment call, what would have happened? You'd never have found your parents. We'd have a kid we wouldn't be able to take care of, and he probably would have ended up in the system, and you remember how much fun that was. And you wouldn't have the life you have now. And all because I listened to a random lunatic. Why? Because I know that world, Emma—you don't! He wasn't a random lunatic, he was someone from our world, telling me to stop being selfish and to let you go! So you could find your family and have a good life! And I did! I'm so sorry!" He swept a sarcastic bow, which infuriated Emma all the more.

"What, so you're a fucking saint now, for doing that? Is that what you're telling me? All hail, Neal Cassidy, for skipping off to Canada—"

"Okay!" Graham shouted as Neal opened his mouth furiously. "Let's all just settle down now, all right? Henry, you want to help me in the kitchen?"

Henry blinked, tearing his eyes away from his parents. "Huh?"

"Do you want to help me in the kitchen for a moment?" Graham smiled, though his eyes clearly said it was more of an order than a request.

Henry looked to Regina, as if asking reassurance; she nodded briefly, waving him off to follow Graham. Emma and Neal continued to glare at each other, breathing hard as they both fought to control their tempers.

"Okay, you guys," Robin said carefully, getting up from his seat. "Let's all relax…go back to The Mistletoe Miracle."

Hook tugged Neal back into his seat on the couch, while Ruby guided Emma to a seat on the other side of the room.

Everyone else tried to renew their interest in the movie in an attempt to subdue the tension, but there was no getting around Emma's dark mutterings or Neal's glowering. The merrily singing elves dancing around the Christmas tree provided an odd contrast to the murderous atmosphere.

The doorbell rang, mercifully breaking the awkward silence.

"Oh, thank you, Jesus," David muttered as Whale got up to open the door.

"Hello, Doctor!" Rumple's voice called out. "Oh, you're going to take my coat? Wonderful, wonderful, thanks very much!"

Rumple came into the room, beaming; Belle trailed behind, a grimace on her face. "Hello, all!" Rumple said, clapping his hands together.

"Hey, Dad," Neal said gruffly; Regina opened and closed her mouth several times, then gave up and simply waved. "Hey, Belle."

"Hello, son! And…" Rumple smiled awkwardly at Regina. "Regina."

"Hello," Regina said, inclining her head.

"Hey, guys," Belle said, glancing behind her. "Oh, shit, she's here."

"Who's here?" Robin frowned. "What's wrong?"

The door opened again, answering his question as an all too familiar voice called out, "Oh, Dr. Whale! Hey, listen, do you have any of your machines on you? Because I could use a full body-scan, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, God," Ruby said, touching a hand to her heart. "You brought Tink?"

"She just invited herself!" Belle wailed, sinking into a chair. "She overheard me and Rumple talking in the library when he came to pick me up, and she just hopped in the car with us!"

"It gets worse," Rumple said, still smiling with forced cheerfulness. "She's already half-drunk, so any inhibitions she has—are gone."

Emma groaned, putting her head in her hands. "This day just got a million times worse."