Once again, thank you to my wonderful, amazingful, beautiful, incrediful, fantasticful, and awesomeful reviewers! Keep it up, it's magic! (ooh...aww...*very impressed, lots of gasps and applauding). This is a RedHook-focused chapter; Swanfire darlings, fear not-yours is coming soon!

The dining room was still silent as Rumple and Belle closed the door behind them. It was still dark, the shattered lightbulbs still sparking and crackling, and no one seemed to know what the next logical thing to do was.

Whale finally assumed authority, clearing his throat. "Okay, Robin, I want to take a look at that nose, because it really shouldn't be bleeding for this long. Graham, get some ice before that starts to bruise. And if you guys could start clearing up this mess while I get Robin squared away, that would be appreciated."

They all murmured some indistinguishable noises of agreement, shifting their feet around as they tried to navigate around the broken glass. Whale beckoned for Robin to follow him to the bathroom while Graham went to the kitchen and flipped on all the lights to compensate for the dining room's darkness.

Snow took it upon herself to take charge after Whale left: she clapped her hands together, just as she did for her fourth-graders, and said in her best teacher voice," All right, everyone! There's one, two, three…" she counted the heads quickly. "Nine! Nine of us here, so we can—"

"Roland, don't touch the glass!" Regina said suddenly, lunging forward to scoop him up. She looked over at Snow, struggling to keep her hold on Roland. "You know what? I'm going to go sit with him in the family room, keep him out of the way."

"Conveniently unable to help clean up," Hook remarked, shaking his head. "Damn it. If only I were dating Robin."

Regina didn't even bother rolling her eyes; she just balanced Roland on her hip and sidestepped the shattered glass on her way to the family room. Snow turned back to the others, smiling with forced cheerfulness.

"Okay, so there's eight of us here," she amended. "So, half of us can clean up in here, half of us can take the kitchen."

"Snow," Graham said, coming out of the kitchen. "It's all right, you don't have to—"

"Don't worry about it," Snow said, waving a dismissive hand. "Just sit down, ice that jaw, or you're going to have a massive bruise tomorrow. Robin packs a mean punch."

They split themselves into two groups: Ruby, Granny, and Snow took the kitchen, wrapping up food and cleaning plates, while the rest of them set to work on cleaning up glass shards and clearing the table.

Snow smiled to herself as Emma and Neal seemed to pair themselves up, kneeling on the ground and collecting shards out of the carpet. Her smile faded when she walked into the kitchen, though: Ruby had already started at the sink, packing away food and rinsing plates. They hadn't spoken, not since the incident at the diner. They hadn't outright argued, but there had been a cold silence between them for the past few weeks that had only deepened as time passed. Snow was afraid to say anything, for fear she might provoke yet another wild outburst tonight.

Granny, on the other hand, was chattering away as she wrapped plastic wrap over bowls and tossed dirty silverware in the sink. "…absolute madness," she was saying to no one in particular. "And then when the boys started throwing punches? Oh, my God, what a mess. I don't even remember how it started, it all seems so ridiculous now. And I never thought Graham would have lost his temper like that! I remember when he used to come to the diner late at night… Oh, he could drink and drink, and I never once saw him so much as hurt a fly! Well, wait, that's not true—there was that time Emma came in, they were fighting about something—"

Snow involuntarily glanced at Ruby, whose shoulders had tensed and movements turned jerky. Snow cast a worried look at Granny, who was still babbling on about Emma and Graham. Shut up! Snow thought furiously. For the love of God, woman, shut up!

Granny didn't shut up, though; she didn't even stop for air. She just kept talking and talking, even as she disappeared through the doorway on her way to retrieve more plates.

"…Tink really is a shitty nun. I mean, that's sexual harassment!" was the last thing Snow heard before she and Ruby were left in complete silence, broken only by the sounds of scraping and rinsing. Snow opened her mouth to say something—small talk, an apology, she wasn't sure—but was interrupted by the sounds of footsteps.

She grimaced as Hook poked his head into the kitchen, carrying a tray with several bowls of leftovers on it. "Here's some more… whatever," he said, setting it down beside Ruby.

"Thanks," Ruby said expressionlessly, scraping potatoes into a plastic container. Snow looked over, raising her eyebrows: Hook didn't seem to be in a hurry to go. He was hovering by Ruby, shifting his gaze around.

"Ruby?" he said hesitantly.

"Mmm-hmm?"

"I, uh…" Hook scratched the back of his head nervously. "I just wanted to tell you… I was kidding when I said all that stuff about being Regina's Huntsman."

"Okay," Ruby said, rinsing the plate.

"I was just trying to break the tension, everything was getting so…" Hook trailed off, watching Ruby continue to rinse plates, barely paying attention to him. "So tense," he finished lamely.

Ruby nodded, picking up another plate. Hook watched her for another moment, a worried frown on his face.

"Sorry."

"Okay."

"For…you know, saying all that stuff in front of Graham."

"Okay."

"And for…for all that jealousy stuff. That got out of control."

"Okay."

"And for Tink."

Ruby looked up at him quizzically. He shrugged.

"I figured someone should apologize for her."

Ruby barely nodded and went back to her plates without a word. Hook was silent for a few moments, lowering his eyes and tapping his fingers on the counter. Snow looked between the two of them, a little unnerved at how…human Hook was acting: he was almost not entirely detestable.

"I guess I'll get back to it, then," he said at last. "Neal and Emma are probably talking about me behind my back, anyway. I want to be there when they start discussing how jealous they are of my general awesomeness."

"Okay."

Hook's smile faded. "Okay," he echoed. "I'll just be on my way, then."

He turned away, keeping his head down as he made his way to the door, accidentally bumping into Snow. "Sorry," he muttered distractedly. "Didn't mean to—"

The door burst open, and Granny walked in, carrying the turkey plate. "Ruby, could you clear off the—?" Her eyes widened furiously as they landed on Hook, who looked positively terrified. "You!"

"You!" he gasped, scrambling backward. Snow jumped as Granny slammed the plate on the table forcefully, sending little bits of turkey through the air; she advanced on Hook, glaring at him as she backed him into the corner, snarling.

"What are you doing in here? Bothering Ruby again? How many times do I have to tell you, pirate? I don't want to see your little slut-face anywhere near my granddaughter!"

"I didn't do anything! I was just dropping off plates!" Hook said wildly. "I swear!"

"Oh, really? It took you an awfully long time for just dropping off plates!"

"It was a lot of plates!" he snapped.

Granny glared at him, curling her lip; Hook glared back, apparently growing braver by the second. Granny lifted her chin, suspiciously narrowing her eyes; Hook stared back defiantly. Granny drew out a long breath, eyeing him with dislike.

"Let me tell you something, pirate—"

"Tell me something, old woman."

"I'm going to be brutally honest with you here—"

"Go right ahead."

"I don't like you—"

"Shocking."

"I don't like your slut-face—"

"God help me."

"I don't like you talking to my Ruby—"

"Gasp."

"I don't like you hanging around her—"

"Clearly."

"I don't like the effect you have on her." Granny waited for Hook's interjection, but he only raised an eyebrow. "I don't like the effect you have on her," she repeated.

"Oh."

Granny frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, 'oh'."

"I know, what is that supposed to mean?"

"Beauty of the word 'oh'," Ruby said unexpectedly, making Granny and Hook snap their heads to stare at her. Ruby turned around, raising her eyebrows. "It doesn't mean anything."

Granny frowned, mouthing, What…? Ruby gave a small shrug and turned back around, returning to her plates. Hook watched her, his expression unreadable.

The awkward silence became too much after another minute: Snow cleared her throat loudly.

"I believe you were on your way out," she said to Hook pointedly.

"Oh, right," he said, shaking his head to clear it.

"Something about Emma and Neal making fun of you behind your back, I think?"

"Being jealous of my awesomeness, actually," he corrected, although he sounded somewhat distracted. "I'll just go and—oh, my God, would you stop hissing at me?" he snapped at Granny, shoving past her. "I'm going, I'm going!"

"You're not going fast enough!" Granny spat, following him out the door like an angry duck. "Get out! Don't come back in here, no one wants you in here, you little man-whore! Come on, out, out , out—"

Ruby appeared out of nowhere, slamming the door shut and locking it. Snow stared as she leaned against the door, shaking slightly as Granny pounded her fist against the other side. Ruby ignored her and looked at Snow, her expression flat and direct.

"How obvious is it?" she asked, talking over Granny's insistent knocking.

Snow blinked rapidly, taken aback by Ruby's sudden willingness to talk to her again. "I'm sorry?"

"How obvious is it?" Ruby repeated, going back to the sink and leaning against the counter to stare at Snow; she smiled back weakly.

"How obvious is what, honey?"

"Graham," Ruby said directly. "How obvious is it that he's not interested in me?"

Snow faltered for a minute, still startled by Ruby's abruptness. "Can you repeat the question?"

"How obvious is it that Graham isn't interested in me?" Ruby repeated, sounding a little more irritated. Snow let out an unconvincing laugh, shrugging and batting her hand.

"What? Come on, Ruby, of course he's—"

"Snow."

"Extremely," Snow said, nodding her head.

Ruby gave her a measured look and breathed in, nodding slowly. Snow knocked her fists together listlessly, avoiding Ruby's gaze. She wasn't quite sure what to say; she didn't want to shatter the delicate truce by saying the wrong thing, but remaining silent felt just as wrong.

"Ruby…" she said, hesitantly walking toward her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she shrugged.

Snow bit her lip. "I'm sorry about…what I said. In the diner."

Ruby nodded mutely, not looking at her.

"I didn't mean…" Snow sighed heavily, leaning against the counter. "Look, at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't pick the best way to say it, but I was just so desperate to make you understand—"

"Snow, it's fi—"

"Please don't interrupt me," Snow interrupted. "I was afraid that you were settling for Hook because you just wanted to have someone, no matter how creepy or slutty or obnoxious or annoying or—" Snow shook her head. "Sorry, I'm getting carried away. My point is, I didn't want you to just take what you could get, because you deserve so much better, Ruby."

"I agree."

"But then seeing you around Graham…?" Snow shook her head, looking at Ruby sadly. "That's not good, either."

Ruby clenched her jaw, dropping her eyes to the floor. "Because he likes Emma. Like everyone else."

"Because he was dead a week ago," Snow said. "He's not exactly at an ideal point in his life to be looking for a relationship."

"And when he is?" Ruby asked, looking up. She was clearly forcing herself to remain calm, swallowing hard and breathing unevenly. "He's still not going to be interested, is he?"

"I don't know about that," Snow said gently. "He might, he might not. I don't know."

Ruby frowned at the ceiling, biting down on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Snow drew in a deep breath, bracing herself for her next words. She couldn't even believe they'd entered her mind, but there they were—and then they were spilling out of her mouth, almost involuntarily.

"Hook's right," she said, grimacing the bad aftertaste the words left. "You're degrading yourself around Graham. You turn into this vapid, air-headed, giggling moron, and you're not a vapid, air-headed, giggling moron. I mean, at least around Hook, you still acted like yourself. Maybe a little sluttier," she added, shrugging. "But that's probably just his bad influence."

Ruby turned her head, looking at her incredulously. "Did you just defend Hook?"

"If you tell anyone, I'll pull a Jaime Lannister and push you out a window," Snow said abruptly, making Ruby's eyebrows shoot up."But yes, I've just found the one exception in the entire universe, in all of the infinite heavens, in the endless continuum of space and time…where Hook may be slightly correct."

"I thought you hated him," Ruby frowned.

"Oh, my God, yes," Snow said emphatically. "Like—I want to rip off his head and put it on a spike outside of the Heart-of-Darkness-jungle-cabin in the Congo. And then I want to feed the rest of his corpse to a variety of vicious woodland animals. And then I want to track down his soul in the Underworld, so I can custom-design his own personal hell that will haunt his miserable spirit for the rest of eternity."

Ruby blinked. "That is…extremely detailed."

"Yeah, I…got carried away again," Snow admitted. "What I was going to say was…" She trailed off, grimacing as she shook her head. "I can't. It's too weird, I can't."

"What's too weird?" Ruby asked, crinkling her brow. "Because after that speech, I am really curious to see what you consider to be too weird. I thought we passed it at 'vicious woodland creatures', but apparently I was wrong."

"You know what?" Snow smiled. "Forget it. I shouldn't have said anything, I was just saying random words, I didn't mean anything."

"Snow, tell me," Ruby frowned, nudging her. "Come on."

"It's nothing, really, don't even worry about it—"

"Tell me," Ruby said, folding her arms.

Snow looked at her helplessly, bringing her folded hands under her chin. "Don't make me," she pleaded. "Please don't make me."

Ruby didn't say anything; she just narrowed her eyes at her intently, clenching her jaw. Snow looked at her pleadingly, biting her lip; Ruby was unmoved. Finally, Snow gave up, heaving a sigh and slumping her shoulders.

"He seems to…" The rest of her words were lost in a grudging murmur. Ruby frowned, craning her neck.

"What did you say?"

"I said, he seems to…" She managed an imperceptibly louder murmur.

"What?"

"He seems to…care—" Snow coughed out the word, her face spasming in disgust—"about you."

Ruby stared at her, surprise flickering through her features. "Sorry?"

"No, I'm not saying it again. I already have to drink a gallon of holy water to wash out the taste from the first time," Snow said decisively. "You heard me. Just…do with that what you will, and don't tell anyone I said that."

"You're not just saying that so I won't be mad at you anymore, are you?" Ruby asked, suddenly suspicious. "You're not just saying that because you feel guilty for everything from before—?"

"Ruby, if I was trying to do any of that, I would have bought you Bradley Cooper," Snow said over her.

Ruby blinked, and smiled faintly at her. "Well, it would still be a nice gesture on your part," she said. "I'm still a little mad."

"How mad?" Snow asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Not very." Ruby grinned. "Nothing Bradley can't fix."