Some honorary Red Hook here, so all my Red-Hookers, here you go. PLEASE REVIEW, DARLINGS, AND YOU ALL GET TO DO SOMETHING FUN AND GO TO TACO BELL.

"Thanks, Ash," Tink said as Ashley set down a plate of pancakes in front of her.

"No problem," she said cheerfully. "Hey, did I tell you the funny thing Alex did the other—?"

"I'm sure it was hilarious," Tink interrupted, picking up her fork. Ashley raised her eyebrows, and went off to go serve coffee at the counter.

The bell rang, and a gust of icy wind ruffled her hair as Hook burst into the diner, wild-eyed. He caught her eye, and made a beeline for her. Tink made a noise of protest as the table shook from him slamming into it.

"You're disrupting the syrup," she complained. "Come on, man."

"Did you do it?" he asked, ignoring her whining. "Did you talk to Ruby?"

"No, not yet," she said, grimacing as she poked at her food. "Aw, look, you got the butter and the syrup all mixed up."

"Forget that!" he said impatiently. "Why haven't you talked to Ruby yet?"

"Didn't get a chance," she said, somewhat defensively. "She's not back to work yet, so I don't always know where she is. Excuse me." She went back to stabbing her pancakes, glancing up at him. "What about you? Did you talk to Neal?"

"I certainly did," he frowned, leaning back with folded arms. "And I'm not saying another word about it until you talk to Ruby. Which you said you were going to have done by now. " He snapped his fingers. "So, go on, get on with it."

"All right, all right, keep your shirt on," she said, then added with a wink, "Or don't."

"Oh, my God." Hook made a face. "Is that what I sound like to people?"

"Yep," she said, tossing down her fork and pushing the plate away. "I can't eat these. You want 'em?"

"Ugh," Hook grimaced, turning his head. "I hate pancakes."

Tink stared at him in disbelief. "You hate pancakes? What's the matter with you?"

"I just don't like them, okay?" Hook said frustratedly. "Why does everyone fixate on that?"

"You're a crazy person," Tink scoffed, taking her phone out to text Ruby: It's time for coffee. Come drink coffee with me. She set her phone on the table, waiting for Ruby to text back. Hook stared at the phone, practically drilling a hole through the table with the force of his gaze, as if daring it to defy him.

It buzzed, making them both jump.

"Get it, get it, get it!" Hook said frantically, pushing it into her hands.

"All right, relax!" she snapped, jerking away from him. "Jesus Christ! What are you, a thirteen-year-old girl? Calm down!"

"I'm sorry!" he said in a hushed tone, looking anxiously at the phone. "Read it, read it!"

Tink rolled her eyes, sliding her thumb across the screen. She squinted at the text: That was random, but okay. Where are you?

Diner, she typed back. Waiting for your skinny ass to get over here. Hurry up.

"Okay," she said to Hook, opening up Candy Crush. "Out. Ruby's coming, and I can't have you moping around."

"I do not mope!" were his parting words before he indignantly swept away. Tink kicked her feet up on his abandoned chair, starting on.—Oh, goddamn it—a chocolate bar level. With bears.

"Goddamn chocolate bars," she muttered, sliding her finger across the screen. "Goddamn bears!"

At some point, Ashley came around again, offering to refill her coffee; Tink absently ordered one for Ruby, not taking her eyes off the exploding candies. She was contemplating a strategy for her last four moves when someone jerked the chair out from under her feet, startling her. Ruby sat down across from her, smiling.

"Hey," she said, shrugging off her coat.

"Hey."

"Ooh, is this for me?"

Tink groaned as she wasted her last move, and the purple squirrel-thing popped up. She glanced up, dejectedly tossing her phone down. "Goddamn bears."

"Mmm—" Ruby put down her cup, shaking her head. "Oh, my God, I hate the bears."

"They suck."

"Oh, and chocolate bars."

"Goddamn chocolate bars!"

"Yeah."

The conversation seemed to fade off there, leaving them to awkwardly smile at each other and sip their coffee. It was a little weird: normally when she hung out with Ruby, it was with a crowd. They didn't do the one-on-one thing very much: She and Ruby weren't exactly close. They might hang out at a party together, or grab a bite every so often, but overall, they had a very shallow friendship.

"So." Tink drummed her hands on the table. "How are you? Good? You look good."

Ruby raised her eyebrows over her mug, swallowing. "Uh… thanks."

"Sure, sure," Tink said, bobbing her head. "Anyways…" She twisted her mouth to the side, looking around the diner. Ruby followed her gaze, glancing at her quizzically.

"You okay, Tink?"

"Ye-e-eah…" she said slowly. "Hey, can I ask you something awkward?"

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "What kind of awkward?"

"Nothing bad," Tink shrugged. "I'm just not sure if we're close enough for me to ask you this without being awkward."

"Well…" Ruby blew out a breath, tapping her fingers on the table. "All right, go ahead."

"Uh…"

Now that she was actually faced with asking Ruby about her and Hook, Tink was very much aware how awkward it was. And being aware of "awkward" wasn't usually a problem for her.

Because it was one thing to catcall guys: they were simple creatures, and she was usually half-drunk around them, anyway. If she said something stupid, she knew it would blow over eventually…(hopefully). But girls were intimidating: they were judge-y and snarky and manipulative and sneaky. If you messed up around them, they would remember it forever and record it for future civilizations, passing down the legend of your dumbassery through the generations.

But Neal, though, a small voice in her head whined. Hook promised to talk to him for her: she wasn't exactly sure what that entailed, but she knew that if there was anything Hook was good at, it was persuasion. Perhaps he could get Neal to agree to—

"Tink?" Ruby snapped her fingers in front of her face. "Hello?"

"Yeah, sorry," Tink said, blinking rapidly. "Got distracted."

Ruby nodded slowly. "So…you want to ask me something awkward or what?"

"Yeah, sure." Tink shifted in her seat, trying to think of a way to phrase it that didn't sound completely weird. "Uh…how, uh…how are things between you and Hook going?"

Ruby frowned. "What are you talking about? There's no things between me and Hook going." She paused, trailing her finger around the rim of her cup. "Why, did he say something?"

Oh, Jesus Christ. "No, not really. I just noticed you two at the diner the other day," Tink said, pausing to take a sip of her coffee. She swallowed, exhaling loudly, and set it back down. "You looked pret-ty friendly."

"What, that?" Ruby scoffed."Please, that was nothing. I was just being nice."

"Oh, yeah," Tink smirked. "Very nice."

"What? I was," she insisted, laughing unconvincingly. "I'm serious."

"If you say so."

Tink took another sip of coffee, and folded her napkin over to wipe her mouth. She hummed under her breath, gazing out the window as if she'd lost interest in the matter. Ruby's brow twitched questioningly, but Tink ignored her, knowing that Ruby and her big, self-involved mouth (God love 'em) would eventually push the conversation forward.

"So… did he say anything about me?"

And there it is. Tink turned to her with raised eyebrows. "Did who say anything about you?"

"You know who."

"Archie?"

Ruby gave her a pained look. "Hook."

"Oh…Well, maybe."

"Maybe?" Ruby repeated, crinkling her brow. "What do you mean, maybe? It's a yes or a no."

"He asked about you," Tink shrugged. Ruby's eyebrows shot up, her eyes widening.

"He did?"

"Ruby," Tink said impatiently. "Don't pull the Taylor-Swift-getting-an-award-routine. The entire town knows he's crazy about you." She paused, grimacing. "Mostly, 'cause he's told us all fifteen times."

Ruby twitched a smile, picking up her cup. "Yeah?"

"Yes," Tink deadpanned, considerably less charmed. "So would you please just take him back, already?"

"Tink!" Ruby sputtered, choking on her coffee. "You can't just spring that on me!"

"Sorry," she said flatly. "In ten seconds, I'm going to ask you again, so it's not being sprung on you. Ready? Ten…nine…eight…some other numbers, one! You going to take him back or what?"

"You're annoying me," Ruby told her, mopping up the coffee she'd spilled.

"I notice you're not saying no," Tink said in an annoying sing-song voice, and cupped a hand to her ear mockingly. "Do I hear wedding bells?"

Ruby flicked her eyes up, tossing aside the napkin. "Are you trying to get me to change my mind?"

"Change your…?" Tink's smile faded. "Wait…does that mean you are taking him back?"

"I was thinking about it, until you started making everything weird and awkward." Ruby rolled her eyes. "As usual."

"Seriously?" Tink said, ignoring the quip. "You're taking him back? For reals?"

"I don't know, stop asking me," Ruby complained. "God, I thought we were going to have a cup of coffee, not reenact the Spanish Inquisition."

"Ruby, answer the damn question," Tink said impatiently, getting caught up in the gossip appeal of it all. Oh, man, if she were the first one in town to catch hold of this—!

Well, probably nothing would happen.

But if she were the one to resurrect the Hook-and-Ruby- pool—!

Well, that would earn her something, wouldn't it?

"Ruby?" she prodded.

"I…" Ruby sighed, shredding a napkin. "I don't know. I thought he was just another one of those guys, but he's…he's actually kind of sweet."

"Really?" Tink said, wrinkling her nose. "Hook? Sweet?"

"But what am I saying? I mean, he's such a child," she said, talking more to herself than Tink. "He either takes things too seriously, or not seriously at all."

Tink raised her eyebrows. "Okay, so…you're not taking him back, then?"

"I didn't say that."

"Okay…" Tink said, feeling thoroughly confused. "So, you are taking him back?"

"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. Am I crazy for even considering it?" she asked anxiously, forgetting the napkin.

Tink blinked rapidly, startled by the sudden question. "Erm…no. No, Hook is…totally sweet and everything."

"He is, isn't he?" Ruby said, smiling to herself. "He wasn't always, but the more I get to know him, the more I see this other side of him."

"Huh," Tink said, sinking lower into her seat. This was uncomfortable. Holy God in heaven, this was uncomfortable. She didn't want to hear about this: the Hook she knew was the raunchy, snarky, sarcastic little pirate-bastard she'd met in Neverland. He was not cuddly; he was not shy; and he was certainly not sweet.

"I was just so angry with him, you know?" Ruby sighed, propping her chin up with one hand. "He got so jealous, and I was just like, 'Yeah, hello, welcome to my life'. But then at Thanksgiving, he apologized and he was just so sincere, you know? Like, he really meant it. And Snow and I talked…"

Tink slid her phone off the table and opened Candy Crush again while Ruby started an in-depth analysis of everything she and Snow discussed. Tink nodded periodically as she spoke, every so often giving a thoughtful, "Hmm?"

"What do you think?" Ruby asked, looking at her intently.

"Honestly?" Tink glanced up from her phone. "I think there's a reason why every time you guys broke up, you got back together an hour later."

Ruby watched her go back to her game. "You do?" she asked in a softer voice.

"Yes, and that's all I'm saying about it. If you two want to talk about all the reasons you should or shouldn't be together, you should just grow the fuck up and talk to each other. Stop acting like kids, and be adults."

She cursed as the purple squirrel popped up again. "Goddamn bears!"