The Birds Who Smile, a Batman fanfic by Raberba girl
Alternate route: Never Adopted - Part 6 (rough draft)
First thing was to get a blood sample, of course. Ivy cleaned the crook of the boy's arm and thoroughly kissed the skin to numb it, none of which he reacted to in any way. The needle, however, incited a worse reaction than Ivy had expected. It was nothing overt, but attuned to organisms the way she was, she noticed at once the way he stiffened when the instrument came into view, and then the way his body seemed to no longer have conscious life in it when the needle was inserted.
"I'm not going to hurt you, love," she whispered, suddenly angry about what must have been done to this boy that he would go to such lengths to escape a routine, painless procedure. "It's just for a moment, then you'll be all done."
She removed the needle, applied a bandage to the tiny puncture wound, then, hesitantly, not knowing what else to do, kissed the boy's cheek, this time with a variant of the chemical that made people love her.
Ethical or not, it worked. After a moment, he blinked and came back to himself, his lips curving in a surprisingly sweet smile. Although he said nothing and made no move toward her, he gazed at her lovingly as she took his blood sample over to her equipment and started analyzing it.
The euphoria had been purposefully mild, and once it had worn off after about an hour, he curled up and fell asleep. Ivy paused her work to find a blanket to lay over him.
Late in the afternoon, when the boy had awakened again and was drifting curiously around Ivy's lab/home, particularly drawn to the most colorful flowers, the door crashed open. "Pammyyyyy!"
"Harley?"
"CROW!" The creature slouching with the hyenas suddenly bounded across the room, flinging itself at Ivy's boy while making loud bird noises. Ivy started to move to rescue her new pet, but stopped when she realized that it wasn't an attack. Both teenagers had their arms tight around each other, Ivy's with tears streaming down his face as he twittered melodiously in tandem with the other boy.
"They know each other," Ivy realized.
"Aw, cute!" Harley cooed. "Fido found a friend! I didn't know ya had one, too, Red."
Her boy, still with an arm around Ivy's, turned and made excited noises that, except for the chirping, sounded like they were meant to be human speech, but were too garbled to understand.
"Sorry, sweetheart, can't understand ya," Harley said, moving her hands in what must have been sign language.
'Fido' enthusiastically patted his companion and then, still making chirping sounds with his face alight, made sweeping motions toward his chest as if to say, "MINE, he's mine, I'm so happy!"
The other boy had settled into a series of cawing sounds, nuzzling into his friend with arms still tight around him and fingers gripping tightly. "[caw], [caw], [caw]..."
"Okay, well, ya got any food for Caw and Chirpy 'round here, Red?"
The boys were soon settled at the table. Chirp showed no interest in the food, instead cramming himself into his companion's chair and perching rigidly with arms locked tight around him and face buried in his shoulder. Caw looked extremely happy, wolfing down all the produce set in front of him (Ivy realized quickly that she had to remove the less edible parts, otherwise he'd eat the seeds, peels, and cores, too), occasionally tapping his palm aginst the other boy's arm as if reassuring himself that his friend was still nearby.
"So ya know 'food' and 'hungry,' but not much else?" Harley tried to figure out. "Here, kiddo; ya wanna apple-" she made the sign and indicated the fruit a few times, "-or an' orange?"
Caw eagerly made both signs, and Harley laughed.
That evening, the boys slept curled up with Bud and Lou as Ivy tended to her gardens and Harley sat with a laptop and piles of papers and books at the table, complaining about how much her research felt like homework, "Which isn' fair 'cause I ain't in school!"
Clattering footsteps sounded in the hall, then the door was thrust open. "Gangsters suck," Selina announced.
"Kitty~!"
"You found another one?" Ivy remarked, observing the sullen boy at Catwoman's side who had the same post-Jokerization features and slightly pointed ears as the two young men currently sleeping with the hyenas.
"Wait, that's what you were talking about?" Selina exclaimed, staring at the huddle of bodies. "We found ALL of the-?! Oh my God, Harley; a dog bed? Seriously?"
"They didn't want the real bed!"
There was a gasp. The thirteen-year-old at Selina's side had stiffened in shock. "crow?" he ventured, eyes glistening.
Two heads popped up from the tangle of bodies in the corner. Then the three teens rushed at each other, meeting in the middle of the room, the youngest boy sobbing as the older two crooned soothingly at him. The twittering went on and on and on, Chirp looking more awake and active than Ivy had yet seen him.
"Um," Selina said.
Ivy narrowed her eyes. "What is it?"
"So. These are actually. Bat boys."
"No!" Harley gasped, as if her friend had just said something highly offensive.
"I told you on the phone, Harl," Selina said in exasperation. She glanced at Ivy again. "So what we've actually got here are baby Nightwing, Red Hood, and Red Robin from a nightmare alternate universe."
Ivy stared at the boys, feeling mildly betrayed, though a second later her heart was softening as she watched them. The youngest Robin had been borne away to the dog bed where he was huddled, sniffling, with his oldest brother grooming his hair and the other brother romping over with all the food he could carry, allowing the hyenas to steal bits of it as he offered the rest to the newcomer. There was an ease and deep affection between them that Ivy rarely saw in the real Bats. Selina said they were less guarded at home, though even then, there were plenty of squabbles and emotional dysfunction.
"How come they haven't showed up in tights yet?" Harley asked, going over to inspect the mask-shaped scars on the older boys' faces more closely.
"B didn't know about them until recently. Apparently John and Peter - the older ones - have been rotting in Kiddie Arkham for years, and Jackson was in foster 'care' for a while before running to the streets. They've been here, and no one knew. B tried to take charge as soon as he did, but they're slippery little things."
"Guess ya really are Bats," Harley remarked, playfully twirling Peter's hair.
Jackson batted her hand away and hissed, "Don' touch 'em."
"Ooohh, this one talks!"
"Fuck off, bitch!"
"An' dirty, too. Watch out, brat, talk that way 'bout a lady again an' I'm breakin' out some soap fer that mouth."
Chirp laid a hand on his youngest brother's head and lifted his other arm in a mild warding gesture toward Harley. He rose to his feet and pushed his crossed arms against her, politely but firmly, until she started backing away. He smiled a sweetly apologetic smile at her before returning to the dog nest and crooning at his agitated brother.
"Yep, that's Nightwing all right."
"So, what, we're supposed to just hand them over to the Bat?" Ivy said.
Jackson heard her. He jumped to his feet and shouted, "You give us t' Bat I KILL YOU!"
"Rawr!" Peter yelled in support, jumping up beside him. Chirp stood up again, too, milder but obviously on his brothers' side.
"No," Selina answered her friend, gesturing toward the boys, "because of that. They hate the Bats, but there's nowhere else to take them, so I don't know what to do."
"We can adopt them!"
"No, Harley!"
"Not, like, with paperwork an' stuff; just keep 'em here and feed 'em and love 'em."
"That's even worse! They're human beings, not stray dogs."
"They are strays, no one wants 'em 'cept the creep who scares 'em to death. Ya think the three of us are worse'n Arkham or the streets?"
Jackson, tensely watching the women, signed, "Batman kill children, I want die."
"What did he say?" Ivy asked.
Selina knew a bit of ASL but wasn't fluent, particularly when the signer himself hadn't learned the language properly. "I'm pretty sure I misunderstood."
"We're not givin' ya to Batman, hon," Harley said decisively. "He's too scary for sweet little birdies like you. You can live here with your new aunties!"
"Good food here," [caw] twittered. "Nice mamas."
"...I'm tired," [warble] whimpered. He flopped down and lay against Lou's side, arms away from his body and throat stretched out.
[chirp-chirp] knelt and leaned over his flockmate's body to shield his neck and chest. "I will guard you," the pose said.
"I sleep you guard, you sleep I guard," [caw] said. The tone added an implied, "Just like we always do." He smiled. "Now that we are together."
Selina threw up her hands. "You know what, I'm too tired to care. I'm going to bed."
"Why, yes, Selina, I'd be happy to let you spend the night in my home," Ivy said pointedly.
Selina shot her a mischievous grin as she headed toward the bathroom. "Thanks."
"Whoo, slumber party!" Harley cheered.
Ivy rolled her eyes and got back to work.
o.o.o.o.o
You can call off the search. Don't stalk me or you'll scare them off again.
Tim stared at the text, his body very still as his mind raced. 'She found them. Why did she only tell me and Jason? Because Bruce will freak out, and Dick won't think to keep it secret. Where are they? Can't be her usual place, it got trashed last night. Gotta start checking security feeds for the other-'
Jason burst into his room, still in the boxer shorts he'd probably slept in. "What's the plan?" he demanded.
"You and Cass go, once I figure out the location," Tim said, not even realizing before he spoke that his subconscious mind had apparently already started work on a plan. "You've got a rapport with them, and Cass can help monitor the situation. Wait 'til Little Me's asleep or something, though; he keeps tabs on both versions of us, he'll be suspicious if he sees you and try to bolt again. Keep it mostly recon, we won't know the best course of action 'til we know what frame of mind they're in and what sort of setup Selina's got."
"Cool. I'm gonna go put some clothes on."
"Please."
TBC
A/N: Next chapter will have a time skip, it does not pick up straight after this one.