Aftermath
Chapter 28
Rules of mourning had become less strict post-war, but the Crawley's still observed wearing black. Robert and Cora had moved back into Downton Abbey, and Cora was thrilled to be home. She and Robert moved back into her old room. She had spent her entire marriage in that room; the vast majority sharing it with Robert.
Upon her arrival back at Downton, Robert had assigned Baxter as her Lady's Maid. Cora hadn't been certain what the other servant's reactions to her would be, but they were all outwardly accepting. If there were problems with her being back, it was kept downstairs, and the servants treated her like they always had.
Mary had taken Violet's death particularly hard, mostly because she hadn't been there. She had gone home to rest an hour before and couldn't get there in time. It had all happened so fast. So, to help her out, Cora had taken back over running the household. She didn't know how permanent it was, but she welcomed the distraction. It was like she and Robert were teamed back up like they had been for so many years. He ran the estate; she ran the house and they met in the middle.
The one thing Cora hadn't been able to do, was really talk to Mary. They had hugged and had some small-talk, but nothing about the fall-out almost eight months before. One day, about a week after Violet's funeral, Cora found Mary sitting in the library holding a sleeping Caroline.
"I always loved to watch you girls sleep. It was one of my favorite things, especially if you fell asleep in my lap." Cora said as she sat down the sofa across from Mary.
"Nanny had brought the children down after tea, and Caroline fell asleep. She would have carried her upstairs, but I didn't want to disturb her. I wasn't doing anything, anyways." Mary explained.
"You know that if you want to take back running the household, you can at any point?" Cora said, although she hated the idea of giving it up.
"No. I think I am going to leave that in your more capable hands. I don't think our staff likes me as well." Mary refused.
"Running a house is hard and it took me time. I can't imagine running the estate is any easier." Cora remarked.
"Its entirely different. Maybe I will learn it someday, but I think the staff needs a break from me." Mary said as she gently rocked Caroline back and forth.
"I think you are underestimating yourself. Besides, from the time you were ten years old, I had you sit in on planning for menus with Mrs. Patmore, my weekly meetings with Mrs. Hughes and learning to set up a seating chart. You know how to do it." Cora told her with a smile.
"I'm glad you have such confidence in me. When I took it over after you left…after I threw you out, I wanted to do everything different than you. Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore hated it." Mary responded.
"Why do you think you threw me out? It was your papa that did that. We've worked all that out, but you didn't do it." Cora asked.
"If I hadn't involved myself; I think Papa would have come around. It was really none of my business and I jumped into the middle of it. Not only that, but I involved the Baxter and Anna in it. I shouldn't have done that." Mary admitted.
"So, we are finally at the crux of all this. Why did you?" Cora asked gently.
"Because, honestly; I was jealous of you. Everywhere you went, and everything you did; people love you. They certainly don't love me like that. The servants, the tenants and their families, the townspeople, Papa, Edith, even the children. I always said that when Matthew and I were together, he found any softness in me, and when he died, it went away. Henry wants it and tries to find it, but he struggles. I just don't know how to…do what you do. I guess if I thought you weren't here and people forgot about you, they would just accept me. Obviously, it isn't working." Mary admitted. Cora stood up and then sat down next to Mary.
"You have it in you. Right now, holding Caroline. When you set Edith and Bertie back up. When you helped Anna after her attack and with her pregnancy. You do have redeeming qualities. I am your mother and I see it. Goodness knows, I've called you out for your bad qualities before. You had some tragedies, but you have to make your mind up to stay a good, honest person. I don't know how to help you with this. I just know that you should probably think before you speak, think about what you are saying and how it will affect another person. On your grandmother's death bed, she was regretting how she had treated people. I don't want that for you and you've plenty of time to rectify it. Now, I am your mother and I love you unconditionally. Everything is forgiven, but I do want you to really think. I will run the household as long as needed, but someday you will have to. Take some time, and then relearn it. The staff will give you another chance." Cora said before standing back up and kissing Mary on the top of the head.
"Mama, I am truly sorry, and I do love you too. I don't know what I've done to earn your forgiveness, though." Mary said.
"That is all it took." Cora said before leaving the room. She knew Mary well enough to know, she would have to have time to think everything through, but things were looking better.