"Morning, Dr. Whale."

"Morning, Regina."

Regina pulled out the stool next to him, grimacing as she sat down. "My feet hurt," she said in response to his raised eyebrows.

"Hmm," he said into his cup. "Get used to it, that's not going away anytime soon."

Fantastic, Regina thought, flicking her hand up as Ashley brought around a fresh pot of coffee. Ashley gave her a friendly smile (which she didn't return) as she poured her a cup.

"Okay, now I really have to go…"

"No, come on…"

Regina slowly lowered her cup as Ruby let out a giggle, exchanging a disdainful look with Whale.

"How's that morning sickness coming along?" he asked in an undertone.

"Stronger by the second," Regina muttered.

"Okay, seriously, I have to go now—"

"No, you don't…"

"Yes, I—stop!" Ruby smacked his arm playfully. "Hook, I'm serious, I have to go now."

"I don't think you do—"

"Hook, if she has to go, she has to go," Regina said tensely. Hook looked over, his smile fading to an irritated frown.

"I'm sorry, are we bothering you?"

"Yes, very much," Whale said bluntly, holding his cup out for a refill. "Little more coffee, Ash?"

"Sure," Ashley chirped, leaning across the counter to pour a stream of coffee in. "By the way, Ruby—Granny's looking for you, you better go."

"Spare us the long farewell," Regina said loudly, flinging up her hand to block the view of Ruby kissing Hook goodbye. "Some of us are trying to eat."

"Some of us have already given up," Whale grimaced, pushing his half-full plate away.

Hook leaned against the counter to watch Ruby go, sighing contentedly. "Tell me she's not the most beautiful girl in the world."

"What happened to Jennifer Lopez?" Regina frowned.

"Jennifer Lopez…" Hook mused. He furrowed his brow, sitting back in his seat. "I'm conflicted."

"As am I," Whale muttered. "Do I kill them, or do I kill myself?"

"Be a hero—kill them."

"What are you two going on about?" Hook said, scooting his stool closer to Regina to join the conversation. "You're very whisper-y."

"Trying to decide which wall I should mount your head on," Regina said dryly, scooting away from him.

"Stop flirting with me, Regina, I'm spoken for," Hook said, flicking his eyes upward. "What are you lot whispering about?"

"Actually, it really wasn't too far off from what she said," Whale said. "You and Ruby make breakfast a really uncomfortable experience. I cut into a guy's head last week, and I had an easier time keeping my food down."

"Oh," Hook said frostily. "Funny. I thought you might've been talking about that—" he looked meaningfully at Regina's stomach.

Regina instantly drew back, putting a protective hand on her stomach. "Excuse me?"

Hook grinned at her fearfully wide eyes. "Oh, yeah, I know," he assured her. "By the way, I'd appreciate it if the little minx didn't call me 'Uncle Killy', I really hate that name."

He knew? For reals? Robin had said he'd just been goofing off, being an asshole as usual, but he knew? Did Emma tell him? Or did she tell Neal, and Neal tell him? Did Whale tell him?

"How can you know?" Regina gasped. "Who told you?"

"Robin," he said promptly. "He kept boring me and Neal with details about your illness…It wasn't hard to figure out." Hook shook his head disapprovingly. "Frankly, Regina, I'm very hurt that you didn't tell me yourself, you and me being so close and all."

"Oh, shut up," Regina said witheringly, getting up from her stool. "Idiot."

"Careful, love," Hook warned. "You best be nice to me, unless you want me to run off and tell everybody. Think of the rumors…"

"Are you threatening me?" Regina said, narrowing her eyes dangerously. "Are you threatening me?"

"I am," Hook said pleasantly.

Regina glared at him. "You're even stupider than I thought, if you think this is a good idea."

Hook responded by pulling out his phone and scrolling through the contacts. "Let's see…" he drawled. "Who shall I tell first?"

"Don't upset yourself, Regina," Whale said, watching her carefully. "Think of the baby."

"Yes, Regina," Hook said, his eyes gleaming. "Think of the baby."

Regina drew in a sharp breath, clenching her fists. She knew Dr. Whale was right, upsetting herself was useless: after all, the baby was infinitely more important than the snarky man-whore, she didn't want to waste her time or patience on him.

"You know what?" she said, smiling blandly. "Go ahead. Tell them. Saves me the trouble."

"Fine, I will," Hook shrugged, calling her bluff. "I might add something in about Robin not being the father…"

"Go ahead," Regina repeated, folding her arms. "By all means, keep supplying me with more reasons to kill you. Motivation is important."

"Mmm," Hook agreed, unfazed.

"Or, I could just tell them on my own. Right now."

Regina swung her purse strap around her shoulder, preparing to stalk out of the diner and drive to Snow and David's loft—because once Snow knew, everyone else would know, and the whole thing would be over and done with.

She had just turned the handle, the little bell ringing out, when a horribly familiar voice called out, "Regina! Darling!"

She froze, her eyes widening in horror. No, she thought numbly. It's impossible. It couldn't…It's not her, no way.

"Do you remember us, darling?" Cruller's stiletto heels clicked on the floor, followed by a pair of boots. A bony hand caught her shoulder, gently pulling her around to face the two glamorous women, both eyeing her with amused derision.

"Cruella," Regina said coolly, inclining her head. "Ursula."

She kept her demeanor calm and collected, but she was fuming. When did they get here? How did they get here? What did they want? Why was she the last to know about this? Who else knew about this? How many people was she going to have to murder for hiding this from her?

Did Neal know about this? He should have told her. Did Henry know about this? He should have told her. Did Emma know about this? She should have fucking told her! What about David and Snow? Belle and Rumple? Hook? Did Hook know about this before her?

She looked over Ursula's shoulder at Hook, who was now frantically looking around for a hiding place or a newspaper to hide behind. She didn't know why Hook was so desperate keep himself out of sight (which was a rare enough occurrence in and of itself), but she did know that she could use it to her advantage.

That stupid slut, she smirked to herself. She told him threatening her had been a bad idea.

"Hook, how nice to see you," she said in a loud voice, waving at him.

Cruella and Ursula exchanged a look, and Ursula excused herself to take Regina's empty seat at the counter. Regina watched Hook plaster a nervous smile on his face, and smiled in satisfaction as Ursula narrowed her eyes, making the blood drain from his face.

"So," Cruella said, regaining her attention. "I just heard the news. Congratulations on your little bundle of joy."

Regina stared back at her icily. "Thank you."

"Never thought I'd see the day when the Evil Queen became a mother, but—" Cruella flopped her hands helplessly. "I also never thought I'd see the day when the Dragon Queen became a mother, and yet—here Ursula and I are, raising sweet Lily as our own."

Regina frowned. "I don't know who Lily is, but I'll have you know, I am a mother. I have been for a long time. Fifteen years this January."

Cruella's smile flickered, her brow twitching in confusion. "Are you…? You're not talking about that boy Henry, are you?"

"Yes." Regina clasped one hand over her wrist. "Henry is my son. What do you know about him?"

"I thought he was…?" Cruella frowned, putting her hands on her hips. "I thought he was Blondie's son?"

"You mean, Emma?"

"Emma!" Cruella snapped her fingers. "Yes, of course! I thought he was Emma's son."

Regina raised her eyes to the ceiling, exhaling. Here we go. "Henry is my adopted son. Emma and Neal are his biological parents. Robin is his stepfather. And we all coparent together. Sometimes David and Snow help out, sometimes Rumple and Belle help out. But he was my son before anyone else's, and I am still well-versed in dark magic, so if you think you're getting anywhere near him—"

"Relax, darling!" Cruella said, holding up her hands. "I don't know what you've heard—"

"Nothing, actually. No one told me a damn thing."

"—but we have no intention of hurting Henry, we only need to borrow him for a little while." Cruella looped her arm around Regina's elbow, leading her to an empty table. "We've been working for a very long time trying to track you down and find out what happened to dear Mal—you remember Mal, of course?"

Regina shifted uncomfortably. "Of course," she muttered. How could she forget?

"I'm sorry!" Hook's voice pleaded loudly. "Ursula, love—"

"Don't 'Ursula, love' me, Hook," Ursula threatened. "Now, keep your voice down, you're sucking all the Christmas spirit out of the place!"

Regina blinked, turning away from the scene. Oh. Of course. That was how he knew her.

"Anyways," Cruella said, also losing interest in Hook. "Rumple told us about the boy's unique talent, resurrecting lost souls and all that."

"More like, breaking and entering my vault to steal random jars, but okay."

"Well, we were just hoping to borrow him—just for a while, won't take a minute—bring Mal back, and then have dear, sweet, darling Lily be reunited with her mother. We didn't think you'd mind—especially seeing as you're the one responsible for separating them in the first place."

"How do you figure?" Regina frowned, leaning her elbows on the table.

"Your curse, darling," she scoffed. "Mal had to send her through a portal to be safe from your wretched curse. Which was evidently a waste of time, since everyone here seems thoroughly not cursed."

"Well, my answer's 'no'," Regina said flatly. "This town is going to be overrun with zombies at this rate, and I'm not going to let that happen. It was hard enough adjusting everyone to Graham—I'm not going make them worry about a bipolar dragon with sexual frustration running around, especially not with the holidays coming up."

"You know, it's funny," Cruella said thoughtfully. "You're saying one thing, but all I can hear is, I don't want Robin getting jealous over my ex-girlfriend. "

"Speaking of ex-girlfriends," Regina said dismissively, though he heart was now hammering violently in her chest. "What's the deal with those two?" She jutted her head toward Hook and Ursula, who were now engaged in a whispered argument.

"Oh, you know—" Cruella waved her hand carelessly. "Hell hath no fury like a sea bitch scorned."

Regina raised her eyebrows. "Does Ursula know you talk about her like that?"

"Actually, I was referring to Hook," Cruella said slyly.

Regina twitched aa appreciative smile. Amidst all the hostility and threats, she'd forgotten how much she'd missed Cruella's sassiness.

"Okay," she said, sitting back in her seat. "Maybe we can discuss this Mal-thing a little more, after all."